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Losing the weight in the weirdest places

Saturday, July 24, 2010

It really took me up until this week and 49 lbs to really start to see the difference in my body. Mostly because I am losing weight in the weirdest places first.
I was driving along and looked down at my hands and for the first time thought "wow, my fingers look so slender" and my engagment ring is really loose and almost needs to resized.

My shoes are too big. Seriously? My feet were that fat? I put on a pair of shoes Friday and they were so loose that I got blisters.

My neck used to have a gobbler and now you see a defined chin and jaw line.

My wrist bones are starting to protrude.

I always worried about the dreaded cankles and now my ankles are starting to look like a skinny person

The best place I am losing is around my organs. I can feel my stomach is so much flatter and I am sure it internal fat melting away.

Not a weird place but today I turned sideways to walk around something and there was so much room I didn't need to suck in or anything. It felt so good.

My boobs, almost forgot them, one place I didn't want to lose!

It is definitely funny because I feel like I am getting skinny from the outside inward but every bit of it is exciting and progress. Today I went to Kohl's and bought my first 1X in years. I don't even remember the last time I bought that size. I wanted to try on more items but I will admit I was afraid. The idea of a smaller size not fitting was so great that I think it would have been counter productive. Even just this morning I pulled out some old shorts that used to be tight and they were HUGE.
Where is the funniest/weirdest place you started noticing the weight loss?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BERGIE8771 10/30/2010 3:35PM

    I have lots of rings, and they are falling off. I flung my hand and almost lost one. The first time it happened, I was cold, but it stlll did that when I warmed up!

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AMACUBA 8/5/2010 8:14PM

  Collarbones for me too. I was so happy I went running to my friend...who thought I was a weirdo! lol

For those who complain that their bottoms are big--there's nothing wrong with a booty ladies! I used to think like you did, until my Granadian friend started saying, "I don't know why all you white girls think that having a bum is a bad thing! Embrace your curves!!" and since then I've liked my BOO-TAY!!!

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CARMINACG 8/4/2010 2:04PM

    I was similar - like you it was the hands, then the wrists - then I looked in the mirror one day and had collar bones and wierdly enough my eye-lids/space up to my eye brows (they just dont appear to look puffy anymore. Congratulations on all your hard work & success!

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EMMYKATE616 8/3/2010 2:51PM

    Hey, I've been enjoying your blog. Congrats on all your good work!

First place I notciced was my collarbones. Suddenly there were bones there!



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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 7/25/2010 3:58PM

    Great blog! My neck doesn't seem to wobble as much and my shoulders seem smaller. SO weird!

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MUSTANGMISSY 7/25/2010 12:16PM

    I seem to be losing it from the top down. Unfortunately that means my butt is big but my shoulders are getting smaller. At least my boobs are still big!

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CARILOUIE 7/25/2010 10:00AM

    Feet, wrists... it's really weird to think that these places were fat before!

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JODY22002 7/25/2010 1:41AM

    I dropped a shoe size which sucks because I had a serious shoe fetish!! I also lost a lot of boob. My ribs now stick out but somehow the weight loss fairy forgot to send a memo to my ass. It is hanging on for dear life!!

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P0KERS0PH 7/24/2010 9:20PM

    Thank god you wrote this! I was starting to think I was weird!

I've lost nearly 40lbs, only dropped one dress size. But I'm noticing my collar bone is showing more, my double chin shrinking, feet are slimmer, wrists etc...

Bizarre!

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HOPERISING 7/24/2010 8:38PM

    ::sigh:: my boobs deflate... that is the first thing to go. It would be fine if they just got smaller... but no, they just get saggier!

I also get nice wrists and ankles... aside from that... I haven't lost enough to see it anywhere else... just in my bra. :( Such is life!

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_DASH_ 7/24/2010 8:22PM

    This is such a great blog I agree!! and it's so true- weight loss when it finally happens doesn't seem to be like you thought at all and the surprises are a great thing sometimes!!!! congrats on the 1x --- i bet you are noticing you have soo many more options now!! isn't that the best?! keep it up girl, you deserve it!

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_COSMOPAULATAN_ 7/24/2010 7:56PM

    I love this blog!

I was just thinking about my ankles... I have a defined archilles tendon that I am totally going to take pictures of soon.

My feet also have lost weight. Weirdness.

Wierdness that my hips are losing, but my waist isn't. Kind of depressing. Everything that I thought I knew about my body that was predictable is going out the window.

Congrats on all of your success!

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No, elevator guy, obesity is not contagious

Friday, July 23, 2010

I have to rant.
So I got on a tiny elevator today where I was going to meet a potential new client. With me I had my usual cart full of food. I know, great job for an obese person, cart food around all day hehe. I take tastings to their offices and set up accounts for meetings etc. I wheel into the elevator and it was very small for an office building but still more than enough space for me and the cart as well as another person. There was a guy waiting with me. Once I got in he looks in....and gives me the body check (you know what I am talking about) and mumbles "it's ok, I will wait". Not to be taken down by Senor rude I smiled and said "you are so tiny I am sure you can fit". He gets in and can't look me in the eye and proceeds to smash himself up against the side of the elevator. You would have thought I had the plague. He got out 2 floors later and I continued on my way. It was so unbelievably awkward. It really hurt because I have been feeling so good lately and I know I am smaller. Case in point the giant work pants debacle this morning. It was such a slap in the face back to reality that people still see me as just a fat person and it scares them so much that they can't even look at me. It is sad. One of the things I love about my fiancÚs culture is they see people for what is real. They don't have these ridiculous standards nobody could live up too. I wish it was that way here but I can't change the world. I will just have to keep working on my own attitude and maybe spark a few people around me. If we all do it we can start a revolution!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KATHLOW 7/26/2010 4:19AM

    I'm sorry that happene dto you, it sucks! Hope you feel better by now

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MEEMMOM 7/23/2010 8:45PM

    :( Don't let one rude person get you down. You know that you are making progress and those who love you know how well you are doing.

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BEARDMUSIC 7/23/2010 7:51PM

    That is tough. No one has any idea how hard you have been working. Don't let this let you down!

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MOMTO3BOYZ2000 7/23/2010 7:48PM

    Unfortunately, there will ALWAYS be people who are like that. People can be cruel and hurtful with looks and words. Comment when you can, let it go when you need to.

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MUSTANGMISSY 7/23/2010 5:46PM

    People are rude. You're a much better person than him so don't let it get to you. Keep up the great job you're doing!

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TYCA41458 7/23/2010 4:11PM

    I hate that! I know exactly what you're talking about. And you're feeling all good and proud of what you've accomplished, and someone gives you that Look. that's all it takes to bring you back down. But I love your "Tiny" remark! I hope he took it to mean more than just his height!

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SHELLEY202 7/23/2010 3:14PM

    You can't fix stupid. Just keep being the fabulous person YOU are!

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PELESJEWEL 7/23/2010 2:56PM

    Same thing happened to me in Cardio Kick class this morning. I got to class a few minutes late and was assigned the "teeny tiny little dude" as a partner. No, not really, he was average not teeny. But I'm 5'11 and POLYNESIAN, we are big boned no matter how proportionate the weight is. When Jenni (Jillian Michael's twin in the wicked workout category) assigned the two of us to the BOSU ball station I thought he was going to hurl. (I think he actually did throw up in his mouth alittle! Haha) Uh..He clearly didn't want to work out next to me and made no qualms about it. GAME ON! By rep 3 he was huffing and puffing! Me, I maybe had a few sweat beads. When we did punches/kicks in a line across the room, he quickly moved away from me, but continued to watch me the entire class... Why? because I didn't let HIS DISCOMFORT get in the way of MY TIME to workout. By the end of class he was DEAD and there I was, holding an 18 lb bar in a V-sit pose and he was out on his back! BOO-YAH!

People are rude and have hang ups. You on the other hand are beautiful and don't you forget how hard you are working to change your life. You Rock!

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SBATES63 7/23/2010 2:49PM

    Remember, he is the one with the problem, not you. You might be overweight but you are doing something about it. I am pretty sure that man is doing nothing about his small-mindedness. (and probably other small things, too lol. Keep up your great attitude. Stephanie

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CHERYL7777 7/23/2010 2:41PM

    There are a lot of rude and insensitive people in the world. There isn't much we can do about it except not let them effect us or how we feel about ourselves. I always sum it up like this. I may be fat but I can lose weight. Your problem's going to take a lot more work. There is no excuse for how that guy acted but don't allow him to ruin your day. You're doing great.

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MANAAL77 7/23/2010 2:40PM

  Hi, Ashley. Totally understand what you mean and it's just their ignorance and we know that intellectually, but it does still hurt. Take it as the blip it really is. Thank you for sharing. You're changing your world and that is revolutionary! emoticon

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MADEMCHE 7/23/2010 2:39PM

    Sorry to hear that Ash. I find elevators make people really weird to begin with and when they are also rude it makes for a less than wonderful trip. I am so happy that you have found someone that supports you and accepts for the amazing person that you are! And even better has a whole wonderful family that goes with him! I totally agree with the Spark Revolution idea! Sparkers Unite!

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 7/23/2010 2:31PM

    Love it Ashley! I wish I could've seen his face when you told him he was tiny, I actually laughed out loud. People are people and they're going to be rude. He has no idea what you've done for yourself. You seem like a string woman and you just need to remember that even though you're one person, you can change the world!
emoticon emoticon

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Look like I am playing dress up in my mom's clothes....

Friday, July 23, 2010

Weight loss is such a funny thing. I have been complaining that I don't feel like I look different and that I haven't dropped in sizes. Well apparently my body was just messing with my head because I have a meeting with clients this morning and when I pulled out my trusty black pants, y'all know which ones I mean, that never let me down and always look professional and hide my fat (well I pretend they do emoticon), and um I look ridiculous. They are huge emoticon. I also just wanted an excuse to use that emoticon. I literally look like this one emoticon. So awesome, now I get to go shopping! This got me to thinking...one of my new friends on here (yes, PELESJEWEL I am talking about you emoticon) was kind enough to message me and offer me clothes she had that are the next size I am going to be. I was blown away by the generosity and now I feel I want to pay that forward. We all are growing out of clothing at such a rapid rate and plus size clothing is so badly needed organizations that aid the needy. This weekend I am going to pack up all the clothes I have that don't fit and anything I have for winter that I will be long grown out of and I am going to donate them to a women's shelter. Why are we all spending money on new clothes that we are going to wear for a month? We can help each other and we can help the needy at the same time. I know a lot of you have been donating to goodwill and I think that is awesome. It makes me feel good to not just be helping myself but to be helping other people. I am everyday shocked by the kindness I witness on this site. I truly believe it is the support of all my new friends that is getting me through this. You guys rock.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LAURALITE 7/23/2010 11:04PM

    emoticon
Congratulations on those baggy clothes! That represents a lot of commitment.
emoticonKudos also for wanting to pay it forward!
There's a great nonprofit organization, Dress for Success (dressforsuccess.org) that specalizes in providing professional business attire for disadvantaged women, along with other forms of leg up support. There's probably a chapter near you. And they're always in need of nice professional looking plus size clothes.


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BOURNBABE 7/23/2010 6:28PM

    Congrats! Such a good idea too as it seems so silly to spend a lot of money when you don't plan on being that size for long.



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MADEMCHE 7/23/2010 2:42PM

    I feel the same way. SP has encouraged me to do amazing things not only for me, but for so many people around me. So happy for you for having baggy pants! Crazy thing to compliment someone on, but I know how hard you have worked and how frustrated you were. Way to go! You are doing amazing, so very proud of you!

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 7/23/2010 2:33PM

    That's such a great feeling! Congrats!

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WAYFARINGSOUL 7/23/2010 1:19PM

    Yay!!!!!

It takes me about a 30lb weight loss before I will drop a dress size. Drives me absolutely batty!

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SHERICAN 7/23/2010 11:46AM

    I have a shelf in my closet that I keep putting the clothes that I grow out of on. I will bag them this weekend and haul it down to the goodwill, unless anyone is looking for 18 and 20s. I have shorts and tops and a few capris. They are yours for the taking! Let me know! Sheri
emoticon

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TINA5318 7/23/2010 11:39AM

    emoticon What an awesome idea!!! emoticon

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PELESJEWEL 7/23/2010 10:38AM

    emoticon OH MY GOODNESS!! I LOVE IT!! You ROCK. Thanks for the shout out! I'm gonna get busy sorting and snapping pics so you can pic 'n choose and get you some clothes that fit sister!! I'm so happy for you!

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CARILOUIE 7/23/2010 10:37AM

    Hooray for big clothes!
I think Spark is an amazing little community. You are right - there is such kindness and generosity on this site.

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PRETTYINPUNK_04 7/23/2010 10:29AM

    Very good idea. Cant wait to be able to donate my clothes!

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HOPERISING 7/23/2010 10:23AM

    congrats! how awesome is that! I can't wait to be in your shoes... or baggy pants, as the case may be! Keep it up girl!

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THAMLEY 7/23/2010 9:06AM

    Isn't this a wonderful thing! Yeah, I know what you mean, funds are kinda lean. I've been holding my pants up with large safety pins and wearing long tops to hide the tucks. I've got to plan a day to take some of them apart and re-sew them. Haven't done it before, I think I can figure it out. They can't look any worse than they do now.
emoticon emoticon Keep up the good work!

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EMPOWERED2DAY 7/23/2010 9:01AM

    I tend to get my cloths at Goodwill, as I see now need to drop a lot of money on something I am going to wear for a short period of time. I am so proud of you!!

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BJW-FARMGIRL 7/23/2010 8:53AM

    Congrats! Isn't it fun to "shrink" out of clothes? I gave some to both sisters, and dropped some off at Goodwill. I've got a few more in the basement to clear out, but most of it is down the road. I am only keeping 1 size bigger, in case I should have an injury or lose focus for a bit. I'm only giving myself 1 size worth of time to get hold of myself and get back on track. Of course, I hope I don't need them at all. Have a great day, and keep on workin' hard!

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KKKAREN 7/23/2010 8:50AM

    Good idea on donating your clothes. Keep up the good attitude!

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I love my fiancÚ so much

Thursday, July 22, 2010

If you read my blogs you will know a recurring thing I talk about is how totally awesome my fiancÚ is to me. We met 3 years ago at work. He didn't speak more than 5 words of English and I spoke about the same of Spanish. Funny thing about language is you know when you like someone even if you can't communicate it! Everyday for six months we would stammer through hello's and how are you's laughing because that was really all we could say but I knew by how he looked at me he liked me. I was in a time in my life when I decided to be single and was really happy about it. Funny how it happens that when you give up the search for a partner, you meet the love of your life. My best friend also happened to be Colombian so I begged him to start teaching me Spanish. I could not get this guy out of my head. For 6 months I practiced basic phrases and got up the courage to ask him out. He is younger than me and absolutely gorgeous and this voice in my head kept saying "why would a guy who looks like that want me?".
One day I had the courage to ask him in Spanish "Do you want to go dancing with me?". His face lit up and he said in English "Yes, when?". That Saturday night I picked him up at his house and it was one of the most awkward moments ever. We were both so nervous and smiling but we didn't know what to say or how to say it. Dancing never happened but we ended up back at my apartment using a computer to translate and teaching each other words. I was shocked how easy it was for us to communicate idea or a story with gestures and few basic words. We ended up talking until 3AM even though he had to work a double the next day. I texted my friend on the way home and told him I knew this was the man I was going to marry. From that night forward we were together and he proposed after 9 months.
It sounds so cheesy but he makes me want to be a better person. He has boundless patience and a love and devotion to family that I have never witnessed in a human being. Never once was my weight an issue. I always have had these lingering doubts about why he would want someone "like me" when he could have anybody he wanted. Finally one night over a bottle of wine he told me that he had secretly been in love with me for a long time. A lot longer than I had been interested in him but he thought I wouldn't want him! He said he used to try and look cute while prepping food in the kitchen hoping I would notice him everyday and that the first thing he thought when he saw me was that I had gorgeous hair and that I was so beautiful. I cried. He has shown me over and over what real love is and that it is ok to love myself.
Last night I showed him profiles of people on spark that I talk to and that I admire. One of the girls has lost 125 lbs and is around my height. I hope to be where she is in a year and I find her story so motivating! When he saw her before and after pics he looked at me and hugged me and said "promise me you will keep doing this for yourself. I know you will be so much happier when you are healthy". This is the man that he is. He doesn't want this for himself or to have a "hot" wife. He wants me to be happy. After losing my job this past year we have had to put the wedding off much longer than we would have liked (I would marry him tomorrow). I can't wait to be his wife. I think that is why I am finally emotionally ready to make these changes. Never have I ever felt so much love and support. I am really lucky to have someone so wonderful be my partner. I can't wait until next summer so I can start posting wedding dress photos. I never imagined I would get to wear one of those gorgeous gowns you see in magazines. I always thought I would be choosing from 1 of 3 A-line plus size dresses that I had to order out of a catalogue. Here is a picture. This is our favorite shabu shabu restaurant in Chinatown. Luckily I can still eat here because it is really healthy! He is drinking a scorpion bowl for 2 lol.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BERGIE8771 10/30/2010 3:27PM

    Backspace didn't work, please delete

Comment edited on: 10/30/2010 3:30:46 PM

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BERGIE8771 10/30/2010 3:27PM

    Please delete

Comment edited on: 10/30/2010 3:29:36 PM

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BERGIE8771 10/30/2010 3:27PM

    Please delete

Comment edited on: 10/30/2010 3:28:45 PM

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BERGIE8771 10/30/2010 3:27PM

    I don't understand, why not just marry?

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MUSTANGMISSY 7/23/2010 5:49PM

    What a beautiful story to tell your kids in the future! Congrats!

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KANELINAQ 7/23/2010 2:25PM

    Wow this was such a great story! Congratulations!

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WAYFARINGSOUL 7/23/2010 1:22PM

    Awwww you guys are so lucky to have found each other. What a sweet story.

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KATHLOW 7/23/2010 2:50AM

    Lovely! We are so lucky when we find someone who loves us like we are (man, i AM cheesy today ;-)). I knew i wanted to marry ¨y boyfriend when i realised he NEVER bores me - and i have the attention span of a toddler with add...

have a great day ash!

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MEEMMOM 7/22/2010 11:50PM

    What a lovely story! So happy for both of you!

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CARILOUIE 7/22/2010 8:59PM

    love love love this story!!! I am so happy for you. If you could have seen me reading your blog, you would have seen a big goofy grin. We are so lucky to have partners who support us and love us.



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LAROSEBAUGH 7/22/2010 6:29PM

    Love this post, my bf is the same. He was with me 125 pounds ago, and the love is even stronger today. We are lucky!

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MADEMCHE 7/22/2010 4:47PM

    Beautiful post! I am so happy that you found the love of your life. And how happy he makes you, and obviously how happy you make him! I love love, it makes me smile! Thank you for brightening my day with your post!

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TYCA41458 7/22/2010 3:45PM

    I am so happy for the both of you! It is rare that such a wonderful story happens to people who really deserve it. You deserve it! I can't wait to see your wedding dress photos!

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NOTABOUTHEFACE 7/22/2010 3:29PM

    That is a beautiful story and so inspiring! I have no doubt you two will have an amazing marriage and life together!

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PELESJEWEL 7/22/2010 3:15PM

    emoticon I love this blog becuase I love happy love stories of how people first meet. My husband said he knew he was going to marry me within the first five minutes of meeting me. My weight has never been an issue for him and he was there at the 5k finish line cheering me on jumping up and down. I am so happy to be a part of your journey and will probably shed a happy tear or two when I see you in your wedding gown!!
emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/22/2010 3:17:12 PM

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VGIMLET 7/22/2010 1:08PM

    You have an amazing story, and your fiancee is very cute. :D

Good guys ARE out there. I have been married to one for 28 years. He has never cared if I was thin or fat.



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EPHSTOP43 7/22/2010 12:36PM

    This story is wonderful! And the fiance is very cute too! I'm so happy for you!! Can't wait to see wedding photos!

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HEALTHYASHLEY 7/22/2010 12:30PM

    I am divorced ladies so yes, you can meet a good guy again! I am living proof.

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REESIEANDME 7/22/2010 12:30PM

    What a wonderful love story!! So happy for you!! And he's very handsome, by the way!! Lol. Congrats on finding your one and only and good luck with the weight loss and wedding planning!!! I am smiling for you right now!! Real love is a powerful thing!! =D

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PRETTYINPUNK_04 7/22/2010 12:12PM

    Wow your story is really amazing. I hope to find the same kind of happiness one day! Cant wait to see pics of you in your wedding dress emoticon

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HOPERISING 7/22/2010 12:12PM

    I love this story! Honestly, after my divorce, I am really doubting that good men really exist. It makes me happy to know that they are out there! Congratulations on finding one of the good ones! i can't wait for wedding pictures!

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JRIMM4 7/22/2010 11:56AM

    Wow - what a great story! I'm really glad you took the time to share it. He really does sound just as super as you!

JR

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PERFECTVELVET 7/22/2010 11:38AM

    That is the cutest story, I love it! You are very lucky!

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BOJANGLES17 7/22/2010 11:38AM

    Wow, it sounds like you guys are truly blessed!

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2 Part Blog-Rewards and Sizes

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

So I have been pretty upset because although I am rapidly approaching on 50 lbs lost I have only dropped about a size and half. Then the reality hit me that I had been stuffing myself into clothes that really didn't fit me as well I would like to have and I really was probably a size or 2 bigger than I pretended I was. Being an apple I find that almost nothing fits my butt and hips unless it is way too tight on my waist. Now even the size down I had purchased are all way too baggy, even in the waist. It is like I have been sabotaging my own progress trying to force myself to believe I am bigger than I am! Grrrrrrr
Onto rewards....so I had a shopping problem in my early 20's. I grew up in a house where my parents were broke and so we never had anything new or that we liked or wanted and I swore as an adult I would never have to live like that. I got married and bought a house at 22 and I set about buying the couch set we wanted as well as renovating the house. My real problem started when I realized I was way too young to have gotten married and I felt trapped. I started buying clothes and shoes and coach purses to fill the void in my life I felt. Maybe I hate myself but how can you hate me with this fabulous 400 dollar limited addition bag on my shoulder??? Uggh when I look back now it is like watching a movie of someone else's life. Fast forward to now and I am just not a very material person. I don't have a constant list of things I want to buy and even when I do see something I torture myself over buying it. Part of it is my low self esteem, I have no value so why do I deserve nice things, and the other part is that I am so ashamed of my spending as a kid that I see any purchase now as extravagant and wasteful. I have read over so many other sparkers lists and things like mani's and pedi's don't work for me because I literally have to get them for work (our appearance is a big part of what we do) so they aren't relaxing or a reward for me. Massages are out because I don't like strangers touching me emoticon. Three of my big goals are all so close together that I decided not to separate them out and just do one gift to myself. I work a lot and I want a present! I deserve a present! emoticon I want something I can hold so it is a constant reminder how far I have come so I decided on the new iphone 4. I could care less about most technology but I love having a nice phone. I use it for work as well (this is me justifying it to myself). For my ten pound goals I decided I want to buy myself fitness related items such as a new dvd or a jump rope. My fiancÚ told me he wants to buy my half way and goal weight rewards (which I think is so cute considering we have all of our finances jointly) which I think right now I want this pair of earrings I have wanted for seriously 2 years.

For my goal weight I want a new wardrobe and my fiancÚ added a trip to Victoria's secret. I think that is more his reward for all the support more than it is for me. emoticon
I don't know why I have put so much thought into this but I guess that I see these as such big moments of change in my life that I feel they deserve respect and recognition.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EMPOWERED2DAY 7/22/2010 2:58PM

    I think rewards are great. I am a simple kinda chick. I am just not into material things. I do not wear make up etc. It is hard for me to come up with rewards for my weight loss progress. I congratulate you on yours.

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BEARDMUSIC 7/22/2010 10:37AM

    I think it is great that you are spending so much time thinking about your rewards. That will mean that getting there will be really important to you. I think it is so great that your fiance is so involved!

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AMOHAME2 7/22/2010 9:05AM

    Rewarding yourself is a huge part of this journey! When you hit milestones you should acknowledge them and just show yourself how proud you are!! Seriously, 50 lbs is a big deal and you deserve to celebrate!

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MADEMCHE 7/22/2010 9:00AM

    Great idea! Rewards are a really important part of the process! Way to go, you deserve them!

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KATHLOW 7/22/2010 4:51AM

    and yes, being an apple is incredibly frustrating, there's always either a muffin top of your pants hang flapping around your butt! So i usually stick with skirts ;-)

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KATHLOW 7/22/2010 4:50AM

    You deserve every one of those rewards!

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POOKAQUEEN 7/21/2010 10:56PM

    Gorgeous earrings and the Victoria's Secret trip is a great idea!

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MBSHAZZER 7/21/2010 4:13PM

    Love the earrings! I have the same issues you do regarding spending. It pains me to spend money, especially on myself. Something I am definitely struggling with!

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PELESJEWEL 7/21/2010 4:02PM

    LOVE the earrings! Very purrrty! Buy them girl! Haha!
I really like your introspection and how brave you are to put it out there about your lack of self esteem and self worth. That hit home for me. I've noticed big improvements in my self esteem and self worth since the weight started to come off, but I'm still working on it as well. Cleansing the painful memories of the past is essential, I guess, to building a strong healthy future... so onward we march! (By the way, what size are you now? I have a ton of cute clothes jeans, tops, etc, that need a good home)

Comment edited on: 7/21/2010 4:03:06 PM

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PERFECTVELVET 7/21/2010 2:28PM

    You ARE worth it, and you DO deserve all those things!!

I have a hard time coming up with rewards too because I am the type of person who buys what she wants when she wants it (within reason). The only thing I've come up with so far is a heart rate monitor, so I can better track my fitness.

How about something that is not material? How about you and your fiancÚ take a nice trip somewhere? Doesn't have to be crazy expensive - just a day trip somewhere or a night in a nice B&B. Bonus points if you can include fitness in it :) Memories are sometimes the best gifts!

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HOPERISING 7/21/2010 1:57PM

    You absolutely DO deserve respect, recognition and rewards! We all have to figure out what works for us. I also have a hard time spending money. No matter how bad i need something, I have this feeling of guilt when I spend money on myself, so I understand the hang up!

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CARILOUIE 7/21/2010 1:54PM

    Re: spending as a kid - I feel the same way when I go shopping. I racked up huge credit card debt when I was younger, a lot of it buying clothes to make myself feel better about being fat, and now I have this *thing* against buying stuff for myself.

I'll reward myself if you do!

Those earrings are cute!

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PRETTYINPUNK_04 7/21/2010 1:06PM

    You do deserve rewards for working hard! All these are great items for your goals emoticon

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