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Finally got the courage to post some before and after pics

Tuesday, July 20, 2010



Here I am at work today. I actually like this picture. I feel like I can see the progress.

This is me at my heaviest around 345. When I look at them today I can undeniably see how different I look. I guess I needed to just relax!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EMPOWERED2DAY 7/22/2010 2:53PM

    You look great! Your going a wonderful job!

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PEARCEC5 7/21/2010 1:42PM

    Looking good!! owww owww!! Just keep rolling with it, youre an inspiration. emoticon

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FIZZLESTIX 7/21/2010 12:32PM

    You look fantastic and I really love the shirt you have on in your current pics!

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SEYMOORE 7/21/2010 8:53AM

    I can see the difference! Doesn't it feel great!???!!! So happy for you!

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HAPPYCHICK10 7/21/2010 8:01AM

    emoticon

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PELESJEWEL 7/20/2010 11:28PM

    emoticon Look at you! Yay you for posting! You own it girl! Woot! Love the smile, let it shine free!

emoticon Courage!

Comment edited on: 7/20/2010 11:30:33 PM

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KANELINAQ 7/20/2010 10:36PM

    You look great! I can definitely see a difference. Keep it up and congratulations emoticon

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KANELINAQ 7/20/2010 10:35PM

    You look great! I can definitely see a difference. Keep it up and congratulations emoticon

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SUNSET24 7/20/2010 10:18PM

    oh my god woman, YOU are FANTASTIC and FABULOUS and BEAUTIFUL allllllllllllllllll wrapped up in one, yahooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!



I am soooooooooooooooooooo dang PROUD of you, hugsssssssssss emoticon

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HOPERISING 7/20/2010 9:59PM

    You are doing great! I can't wait until I actually have an "after".. it seems like I have an endless series of "befores".

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IWILLTRANSFORM 7/20/2010 8:15PM

    Good for you. THis in itself with be a big motivator. Great job on getting the courage and there is a wonderful difference.

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JUST_SIMONE 7/20/2010 8:07PM

    Awesome progress! And congrats about posting pics, it's hard to do! I was really nervous when I posted mine, I just wish I had taken more before pics, but of course I was afraid of being on that side of the camera.

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TRIP2HAPPINESS 7/20/2010 7:07PM

    There is definitely a difference missy emoticon emoticon You are doing emoticon

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MADEMCHE 7/20/2010 6:51PM

    There is huge a huge difference Ashley! Way to go! And thanks for posting this!

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CECE0330 7/20/2010 5:43PM

    Thanks for posting. I never tire of seeing before & after shots! Very motivational! Keep up the good work!

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KACOPHANI 7/20/2010 5:39PM

    emoticon

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LORKAT 7/20/2010 5:38PM

  I love your new photos! You look amazing and you can totally see a difference in your before and after, especially in your face. Congrats on all the progress you've accomplished thus far!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BESUSAN 7/20/2010 5:31PM

    Kudos to you. I can see the difference and you look happy. Congrats.

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PERFECTVELVET 7/20/2010 5:29PM

    Good for you! It takes courage, and you've got it! Keep up the excellent work!

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NEWNANNIE2010 7/20/2010 5:29PM

    I feel the same way...I am really nervous about posting my beginning picture, I have the fear about what if I don't have an after picture. I am truly committed to my new life style I guess I just don't trust myself yet.... You look great keep up the good work. It the before and after pictures that give me faith that I can. emoticon

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MOXIE-IN-MOTION 7/20/2010 5:25PM

    There is such a difference...and you look so HAPPY! Congrats on your progress!

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MOONWOLF58 7/20/2010 5:23PM

    You can really see the difference. Good for you!!

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Before and After Pics- meh didn't go so well

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

So yesterday I was a big of an emotional mess and one of the comments on the blog I wrote about it was to take pics frequently so I can see the progress. I ran home in my too big work pants to ask my fiancÚ to take some pics of me. I was so sure as soon as I saw the difference since 345 I would feel so much better. I should start by saying he is talented at so many things but he will never be quitting his job to be a photographer. I don't understand how he can't put something in the middle of the frame and not cut off half my head etc. Anyway, he snapped a few photos of me and the second I saw them I lost my mind. I couldn't stop crying. I do not look so horrible when I look in the mirror. Every picture he took I looked like I had 5 chins and I really didn't think I look any different than I did before. I am not photogenic AT ALL but seriously I thought I looked deformed. This did not help my mental state even a little.
For the first time in a long time I head straight to the refrigerator. I had stocked a few skinny cow ice cream cups because I know around my TOM I want sugar and I wanted to have something portion controlled in the fridge so I wouldn't overdo it. FYI if you like ice cream these cups are delicious and only 150 calories. So I ripped the cover off the cookies and cream and dug into it. My fiancÚ gave me this look like, "do you really want to go here". We know each other so well I can read his mind and I said "I am still in my calories for the day" so he let it go but you know what? After 3 bites I realized. I am not going to find my answer at the bottom of this cup or the next or the next or the next. I put the lid on it and put it back in the freezer. I have NEVER done that before. I actually was craving my dinner which was grilled flank steak, portobello mushrooms and turnip. Yummy. I still finished my day in the middle of calorie range but the biggest victory of all is that I stopped a binge from happening. The other thing that made me really happy was how much my fiancÚ supports me. He kept hugging me and telling me how he is so impressed with how far I have come and I will see it soon. I know this is all in my mind. Sometimes I just feel like the ugliest girl in the world. I can't wait until that moment when I see a picture for the first time and I see the difference. For today I am just excited to have made such a big step in controlling the monster that is my emotional roller coaster. Now I need to go hold a 50 lb bag of something so I can see how much I have lost. I do read all of the comments on my blogs and I appreciate all of them. You all make me think about things in different ways and they help me more than you realize. Thank you!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AEBROWNSON 7/22/2010 11:29AM

    Keep in mind that the first place fat leaves is around your heart. So you are getting healthier from the inside out!

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MOMTO3BOYZ2000 7/20/2010 11:03PM

    Ashley, I can look in the mirror and I see a smaller, more attractive person. You won't believe how many pics of myself I have tried to take only to trash them because I can't believe that is how I really look. The pictures just seem to bring to life all my flaws that I don't really pay attention to when I look in the mirror.

But the pics that I did keep, I'm glad that I did...no matter what they looked like...because I can see the difference even if it is very small. I'll keep plugging away at it and know that one day, I'll look at a picture....and I'll be showing it to everyone saying, Look...this is me!

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LORKAT 7/20/2010 5:53PM

  In my opinion, until we are within our healthy weight range, we will always look at our photos and see 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 chins. We will go from obese to over-weight and then eventually from over-weight to healthy. It's a long double-chin road, but we all have it in ourselves to do it. For me, I look at my photo and realize that I do not even have a neck anymore. But,I am my own worst critic. If you are anything like me, you are likely too hard on yourself. I think you look great in all of your photos - before and after.

Do you lift up anything weighing 50 lbs yet? It will amaze you when you physically realize how much that weighs.

emoticon Still no potatoes... I think I'll have to contact someone about this problem. Lol! P.S. Great job on the ice cream situation. I hope I have even half your strength along my weight loss journey.

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VGIMLET 7/20/2010 5:31PM

    Good for you for stopping yourself from going off track.

emoticon

I can tell you that even though I FELT amazing after I lost my first 50 lbs...nobody noticed. I have pictures from 50 lbs gone, and honestly, I don't look much different. The important thing is how we feel, I think.

I actually couldn't see a difference until I had lost about 70 lobs, and other people didn't really start noticing until then either. It's only really now, after 100 lbs gone (and you can see I have a ways to go, even) people are starting to say something. :P

The important thing is you changed - and congratulations. You WILL start to notice a difference, trust me.

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EPIPHANYANGEL 7/20/2010 5:19PM

    Well done, you really did well by taking control and empowering yourself. emoticon emoticon

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EMPOWERED2DAY 7/20/2010 1:51PM

    I am very proud of you, for sticking to your guns and seeing that even though you were hurting, that ice cream was not the 'feel good pick up' you needed! You are doing a wonderful job!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KAKIPOPUP 7/20/2010 10:59AM

    I'm with Cris76 - it definitely shows in your face. emoticon

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JENPOSS 7/20/2010 10:50AM

    Aww, sorry my idea made you sad!! I guess I should have added that the first pics are always the worst.. BUT, keep up the hard work and in the end you'll be able to look back and see how far you've come!!
**And great job at putting down that ice cream!!**

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BESQUIVEL 7/20/2010 10:19AM

    Wow, you deserve to buy yourself some new shoes, or SOMEthing! :)

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LOSINGJESS 7/20/2010 9:58AM

    Im sorry you had a hard time yesterday but its so awesome that you were able to stop yourself mid-binge and realize that it would not solve your problem.
with before and after pics its always best to compare the before to the after and sometimes you dont see any change but other people do. Your always more critical of yourself.

I still have hard days too. I looked in the mirror yesterday and thought I still look 250 pounds! Even though I am only around 180 now. The fact that my skin is loose makes it even worse and really kicks my self image on some days. But You have to stop and realize all the other good things that have come from losing weight on the days when you cant see the changes in your body or when they dont seem enough. Like for me the fact that I can do so much more phsicaly, or that I can shop in the normal side of the store now instead of plus size... or not being able to find anything in plus size that fits either ::shudders::

Im sure if you look at your own life you can find so many wonderful things that have changed for the better since losing 50 pounds.

Hope you are feeling much better.

~ Jess emoticon

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CRIS76 7/20/2010 9:43AM

    I will tell ya - I took photos after losing 50 pounds (they are posted here on SP) and I did not see a difference but everyone else says they do. I think it is that critical eye of ours - where we continue to see what we were and not what we really are. I think you do need to go grab a 50 pound bag of something and know that you HAVE done something for yourself and that it does show, even if you don't see it.

EDIT: So I went to your photo gallery and took a gander. You don't have any full body "after" shots but you have one of your new haircut (which, by the way, is adorable). I can see a HUGE difference in your face. Look at the picture of you and your fiancee together. Your cheeks round out. Now, look at the one of your haircut, your cheeks are concave - your cheekbones are high and cheeks are in. BIG difference right there. Your face is much more svelt.

Also, know this: you are adorable!

Comment edited on: 7/20/2010 9:53:57 AM

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MRS.CATMAN 7/20/2010 9:34AM

    emoticon

What a way to stop yourself! Great job!

Agreed with JazzyJas. You can do this!

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MADEMCHE 7/20/2010 9:29AM

    Way to go for only having three bites! That is huge! And your man sounds awesome, so very happy for you! As to the photos, what I do when I am doing my own pictures is set up a little tripod, something with flexible legs that usually comes with the camera. I can place it anywhere and I take the pictures myself. It works for me. 50 pounds is freaking amazing! I know you don't see it yet, but it is. You can do this!

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 7/20/2010 9:16AM

    Good for you and stopping the binge! It's really hard to do, but you know how the will power and the support to do it! Your fiancÚ sounds like a really great guy! Just keep doing what you're doing. I equate everything to 5lb bags of sugar. Go look at them in a grocery store lined up and realize you've lost 10 of them! It's a good thing to visualize!
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POOKAQUEEN 7/20/2010 8:50AM

    emoticon You saw the real victories and made good choices. That's definitely something to be proud of!
It's really gerat that you have someone so supportive in your life, and it's great that he immediately stepped up for you.
Keep your eye on the good things and have a better day today!

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AIYMI2 7/20/2010 8:21AM

    You should be so very proud of yourself for controlling the binge! I read your blog and can't help but know how you feel since I've looked at my own pictures in the same way. Just keep your eye on your goals and soon the pictures won't be so scary to you. You know what it feels like to truly have control over food now... use that! Good luck

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SWEETPEA0214 7/20/2010 8:15AM

    Stupid pictures huh? I am not photogenic either and I hate taking my P90X pics. I pick apart each aspect of the picture to see if I've lost here, firmed here, blah, blah. I never feel like I am getting the results I want, like the ones they show you on t.v., but when all is said and done and I go back and look at my pics again, without a critical eye, I CAN see some minor changes happening. You will too. Keep it up. Don't quit. And look - you may have to go through two or three cycles of the X (or some other program) to get the results you want. I think they neglect to tell you in the infomercials that some of these people are doing that. All that change (100's of pounds) I don't believe happen in one 90 day cycle.

Change will happen for you. And I am so proud that you were able to walk away from that binge in the making. That is real growth in your journey.



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MYUTMOST4HIM 7/20/2010 8:12AM

    YOU DON'T SEE THE DIFFERENCE?!?!?!?! I do!!!!!!
You are way to critical of yourself!!! GREAT job on controlling the binge eating!! That takes a lot of will power - I am sssooooo impressed

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LOSIN4MYSELF 7/20/2010 8:11AM

    YAY Ashley!!! It feels so empowering to concur the beast that is emotional eating. I had the same thing happen to me last week (controlling the eating) and I have been so pleased with myself since then. Keep up the good work!!!!

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APATRICIAO521 7/20/2010 8:09AM

    Being able to stop yourself like that is an accomplishment in yourself! Think of how far you have come!!!

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JAZZYJAS 7/20/2010 8:07AM

    Wow, great job!!! Now if only you can keep loving yourself as much as your fiance does. You can do this!

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MADDEELOU 7/20/2010 8:01AM

    emoticon emoticon

You are doing great! Yay for avoiding the binge. That is a huge, huge step. I am very proud of you.

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2 blogger kind of day....

Monday, July 19, 2010

So this will be my second blog for today. I am a crabby hormonal mess and I can't shake the funk. In my effort to be more positive lately I have been trying to ignore it but I can't. I am feeling so frustrated with the whole process. Like the weight isn't coming off fast enough. I know 2 lbs a week is healthy but I can't seem to get the hang of this. I log everything and measure everything so it isn't like I am overeating and fooling myself into thinking I am not. I used to graze in front of the refrigerator and I don't do that anymore. I have been within if not just under my calorie range everyday. I have never gone under 1200 calories. I just wish I was feeling like the progress was big enough. My clothes are a bit bigger but I am not losing a whole size every 10 pounds like some people seem too. I have lost almost 50 and I am barely down 2 sizes. Uggh I know I am being too hard on myself but the feelings are still there and maybe if I get them out I can get past this. I just want a steady loss. I was so obsessed with getting under 300 I totally missed that I am past my 25% point. That is huge! I have lost 25% of my excess weight. It is weird to be finally under 300. I can't seem to get my brain there yet. I was going to look for a stability ball for the house and I remember thinking, I hope they have one that can handle 300 plus and it hit me. I am not that person anymore. I don't have to worry about it again. It is still so hard to believe. I have been the 300 pounder for so long, it is like a death in some way. Death of that overweight miserable girl who didn't want anyone to know what she weighed. I hope this funk passes soon.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMACUBA 8/5/2010 7:29PM

  When I had lost 50 pounds, I had only gone from a size 16-18 to a size 14. Now I've lost 10 more pounds, and I'm a 12. Everyone thinks I wear an 8-10 pant. They don't believe me like I'd lie!) until I show them the label. One friend even keeps telling me to "just try on a size 10!". As if I wouldn't have checked. I mean sheesh lol.

Anyway, my point is that everyone is different. If you're doing the cardio and full-body strength thing, you'll go down, don't you worry. Sometimes your size goes down when your weight doesn't! The body is a strange, strange thing!!

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EMPOWERED2DAY 7/20/2010 1:57PM

    I have yet to grasp the weight loss stuff, so it is nice to know that I am not alone in my thinking. I find myself frustrated all the time, and really wanting nothing more than to throw in the towel. Yet I see myself at the end of this journey. Let me tell you I am one smokin hot mama!!! So I am going to continue this dance, I will not sit out another song!

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ALMOSTRETIREDRN 7/20/2010 8:09AM

    Two pounds a week is a huge weight loss..Good for you. When I complained to my husband that I was only loosing 1 pound a week, he reminded me that if I kept it up I would lose 52 pounds in one year. Keep up the good work

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KATHLOW 7/20/2010 3:37AM

    you did amazing so far, funk or no funk! But every big life event can make us feel depressed, even if it is a positive one... Hope you feel better soon!

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MOMTO3BOYZ2000 7/19/2010 10:31PM

    Ashley, first I wanted to say thank you for stopping by and commenting on my blog. It seems the "funk" is going around. Blame it hormones (I am), or the heat, or whatever. One thing I've learned - it's o.k. to feel like this sometimes, as long as it passes and you are able to move on.

The weight will come off, the body will re-shape, and sometimes it will take our minds time to get used to it.

25% is huge! And two sizes is awsome!

Just remember, if it is coming off slower you won't have to deal with some of the issues I'm having to deal with.

Just keep telling yourself that you can do it, you will do it, and nothing will stop you!

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 7/19/2010 9:12PM

    Once again Ashley, it's like you're in my head. I've lost 20, but nothing looks or feels different. My clothes don't feel different, my body looks the same, nothing has changed. It's really frustrating, but the scale keeps going down. You can't give up on all that you've worked for. You work too hard and want this too badly to give up. You can do this and you will do this! We're all here for you!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LORKAT 7/19/2010 6:57PM

  Whatever you do, don't give up! You've lost 50 pounds and that's a huge accomplishment. The next time you are in the grocery store head over to the produce department. When there, pick up a 50 lb bag of potatoes. If they do not have one, then try to pick up two 20's and a 10 pounder. Feeling how much you've lost can also be a huge motivator. Congratulations on your weight loss success.

Like you, I also wish the process of losing weight could be quicker. I've watched a season of The Biggest Loser and I was shocked at how fast those contestants were losing weight. If they are able to keep it off afterwards, kudos to them. If only I could be locked in a house with only healthy food options, have my ass whipped daily by a personal trainer, and have a $100K incentive to lose weight. That's almost as crazy as my dream to fall asleep fat and wake up skinny.

I had lost 36 pounds about a year ago. I started at 236.6 lbs and completely gave up at 200.6 lbs after 5 months of hard work. I can remember the day I gave up quite well. I was upset because I was not seeing the changes fast enough. I wanted to look in the mirror and see skinny, but I still saw fat looking back at me. I wanted to be wearing regular sized clothing, but at 200.6 lbs I was a 1X. Now, here I am today, weighing 230 lbs and starting all over again. This time I will not give up.

It's a long road, but a road well worth taking. Good luck & keep up the great work.

emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/19/2010 6:59:04 PM

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40PLUSANDFIT 7/19/2010 5:19PM

    and I agree with the others. You've done great. We do all have those frustrating times when the scale and our bodies are not in sync, but don't worry it will come. and I too know that feeling of I only moved two sizes. I was putting a size 14 into a size 10/12 stretch and it took at least twelve pounds for those stretch to fit comfortably. It's all a matter of how we pushed ourselves to stay in that smaller size. Blogging helps. I did my share of whining because I did all the calculations and did the exercise and it wasn't happening fast enough, but I had to remember I was building muscle and it would come. emoticon

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JUST_SIMONE 7/19/2010 4:45PM

    Sorry to hear you're in a funk but I'm glad you thought to write it out. You know, I had the same issue of losing bunches of weight but not really seeing the difference that I thought I should, and not having others see the difference. It took me losing about 40 pounds before anyone outside my home noticed. It felt like it took ages to go from a size 20 to a size 16, but I think the reality is that I was wearing size 20's that didn't fit right in the first place.

You're 25% there! That's huge! And you know, the smaller you get, the more each pound will make a difference in how you look and feel. Keep up the great work!

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BLACKROSE2010 7/19/2010 4:36PM

    I have heard that sometimes just losing the weight isnt enough...you need to burry the "fat girl" you are not that girl anymore. She is gone and not coming back. I have heard of doing a ceremony, like a funeral...where you burn old pictures and give yourself closure from that person you were. It might just pull you out of the funk and let the beautiful new you peak through and take over! Get a bunch of friends involved and make it a girls night. That way it can be a night of saying goodbye and celebrating your accomplishments all in one! :)



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4EVERADONEGIRL 7/19/2010 4:27PM

    You are doing so great! I know sometimes it just isn't fast enough for us...and I could say the ol' "you didn't gain it overnight blah, blah, blah..." but you already know that!!! Just try to focus on all the benefits you are gaining like increased health and years added to your life. This is a journey and not a fad. You CAN do it!! Slowly but surely wins the race!

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JENPOSS 7/19/2010 3:22PM

    The funk will pass (make it pass if you have to!). We all have our days. We all lose weight and gain weight in different places. I literally know a girl that weighs the EXACT same as me, and is the same height as me.. but is 2 sizes smaller than me. My only guess is she has more muscle than I do. It's definitely discouraging when you work really hard and you feel like it's not working. I have to periodically put on my old clothes to remind me that it is working.
I suggested this to someone else but you might like it too:

Take a picture of yourself at every weigh in, in the same clothes, in exactly the same position and you will be able to see your progress over time. It's a great motivator!!

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BEARDMUSIC 7/19/2010 3:20PM

    I'm right there with you! I had hoped to lose 20lbs this summer and so far I've only lost four after working my butt off! Everyone's body is different and we all lose in different ways. Just keep on doing what you are doing and you will eventually be down another size. You can do it!!!

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CHAOTICMOM4 7/19/2010 3:19PM

    Keep blogging your way through these emotions. I think it's absolutely normal to hit a big milestone and kind of feel a let down afterwards. You've come so far and done so well, just keep walking the walk and you'll get your spark back.
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MADEMCHE 7/19/2010 3:17PM

    Good for you for writing this stuff out. I understand your frustration and wish the weight would come off all at once, as well. But it isn't going to. And you have made so many fantastic choices in the last little bit, you are at 25% of your goal in in the 200's! That is flipping HUGE! Congratulations. The funk will lift and you will realize what an amazing job you have done and are doing!

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ROTUNDPANDA84 7/19/2010 3:14PM

    Girl hang in there! So glad you blogged about how you're feeling. Then people like me can comment and let you know you aren't alone! We all struggle with these feelings of "things not happening fast enough." My therapist says b/c of society's bombardment of "quick fixes" that we start to feel down on ourselves when we don't get results quickly. And losing 25% of your excess weight is phenomenal! Way to go!! Just keep up the fantastic work. As they say, this too shall pass. I've been feeling similarly and I understand how frustrating it can be. Just hang in there, keep focused and if you need to chat, feel free to message me.

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Judgmental Blogging

Monday, July 19, 2010

I read a lot of blogs. Some I agree with and some I don't. Generally I do not leave a comment if I disagree. One of the great things about our culture is we are free to think and feel as we please. Just because I disagree with someone's opinion doesn't make it wrong. I am a big supporter of respecting we are all different. However, every now and then there comes a time when it is hard for me to keep my big mouth shut. I came across a blog that I knew was going to make me mad as soon as I saw the title. I am not looking to call one person out so I am not going to post it verbatim but the blog went on to say that all the "skinny people" on here who only have 50 lbs to lose or less needed to shut up and quit their whining because they don't know what it is like to have real problems. That they couldn't possibly understand what "real" fat people go through. It made me so angry. One of the reasons I love SP is we are all here in a place to seek support. I do not feel that any one person's problem is more important than any others. I do look at some people's profiles and think, "Yeah I wish I had her problem" but that doesn't mean she doesn't have a right to be here. We all have self esteem issues. We are all unhappy with something about us or we wouldn't have sought out spark in the first place. We are a community, a family, who needs to take care of each other regardless. I don't think that kind of negativity has a place here. I know what it is like to be angry. At my biggest I hated the world but at the end of the day I made myself overweight and it is my problem alone. It is nice to have a place to come and share my joys and my sorrows and feel free to do so. So to anybody who reads this I hope you join me in supporting each others hard times and cheering each others successes.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSTKAY76 10/12/2010 2:20AM

    What they are failing to consider is that, eventually, if they continue to follow the plan and work at it, they too will be one of those people with less than 50 lbs to lose. And, then what? They are no longer worthy to be here on SP? Rubbish!

I bet someone was just having a bad day. Perhaps he or she met up with a bad attitude (one of those I'm-better-than-you-because-I-could
-never-be-so-lacking-in-self-co
ntrol-to-get-so-far-out-of-hand-as-you attitudes) that affected his or her attitude. Or, at least I hope it was a temporary thing and not a normal mindset for them.

This is a fantastic blog and I thank you for writing it. I too would have had a very difficult time keeping my mouth shut.

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PCOH051610 10/11/2010 3:16PM

    An excellent blog! We know we shouldn't judge but we all do in some minute way, I guess. You've pointed out some really good things in this blog. I've got 50 pounds to lose. We've all heard how easy it is to lose the first few pounds and much harder to lose the remaining pounds but that is all heresay. Everybody is different. I'm finding it hard to lose the first ten but I'm still trying and I'm tyring to be supportive to all of my friends regardless of what challenges they are facing!

Keep blogging! It was a pure joy to read! emoticon

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GEMINIGEM6 10/11/2010 3:01PM

    Well I have had those thoughts myself. I will admit it. I just saw one today who wanted to go from 130 to 119 I think. She was skinny in her pics. I was thinking "gimme a break...for real??" Lol. But that's b/c I have a lot more to lose than her and I do not look skinny at all. But anytime I see these profiles and I have those thoughts, I also think right after..."well to her she has things she wants to work on and she has every right to have a profile on here just like I do." After all....it is all about health right?? So yeahI feel you on this. Great blog.

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KELLIGIRL523 7/21/2010 11:37AM

    VERY well said. Thank you!

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LUCKYDOGFARM 7/21/2010 12:25AM

    Amen Sister!!


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NOTABOUTHEFACE 7/20/2010 11:32PM

    I think about when I was heavier (or even this weight before without the lessons I've learned) and I remember looking at skinny girls thinking "oh, must be nice to be able to eat whatever the heck you want!" or an expletive. While yes there a few "lucky" ones who have incredibly good genes, most people who are skinny work out and don't overload on crap everyday. You just may be seeing them on a high cal day or enjoying an occasional treat. So yes, I agree with you. Everyone needs support as long as they have the attitude that they aren't better because they didn't let themselves get so out of control (aka-as big as I was when I started.) I've seen that attitude on rare occasion here and it's sad to think people are that way. I think the majority of people here are to get healthy and we should all support each other. The 'real world' can be mean enough without any of us turning on each other.

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TINA5318 7/20/2010 11:26PM

    emoticon Rock on!!!

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PELESJEWEL 7/20/2010 11:10PM

    emoticon I love Sparkland for the same reasons you outlined! For me it was the missing piece to my WL puzzle. I'm here to support & be supported along my journey. Very well written blog, thanks!!

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RAVEN227 7/20/2010 10:29PM

    Great blog

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LOVE_2_RUN 7/20/2010 9:43PM

    Awesome blog! I 100% agree with you. Good for you for blogging about this. ~Leslie
emoticon

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_COSMOPAULATAN_ 7/20/2010 8:10PM

    I understand where you are coming from. What I struggle most with is people who weigh themselves multiple times daily and blog every fluctuation. It's sends me into OCD mode and makes me feel compulsive even though I'm not the one doing it. I've considered unfriending them, but I'm not quite sent over the edge yet. emoticon



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OREOSMILE 7/20/2010 5:44PM

    love your attitude :-)

My mother always taught me that if I can't say something nice, to not say anything. However, I've also found that if you look hard enough, there's usually something nice that can be said, if only you can look past the things that you don't like. You can appreciate someone's efforts and commitment even if you wouldn't take that same approach yourself.

I'm very appreciative that most people on SP stick to spreading encouragement and support (and some excellent advice when asked!)

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KACOPHANI 7/20/2010 5:41PM

    emoticon

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BEARDMUSIC 7/19/2010 3:23PM

    You are awesome Ashley!!!

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JENPOSS 7/19/2010 3:17PM

    OMG.. when I first started I "disliked" skinny people.. but only until I realized it was jealousy!!! I heard the greatest thing one time.. it has always stuck with me.

It was a really skinny girl complaining about bigger girls. She was saying that she always hated when bigger girls told her "you're so skinny, you can afford to eat a donut" or something bad for you. Her response to why she can "afford" to eat one is because she doesn't. She said that it wasn't always easy to stay skinny.. it takes will power and sometimes all she wanted to do was sit down and pig out. So now I try not to say things like "you don't need to lose weight.. omg you're so skinny.." Because everyone has their "happy" weight and should work to stay at the place they feel comfortable.

I think that's when my light bulb went off. Not all skinny people can eat whatever they want and never gain weight.. many of them have to work hard to stay that way. So my jealousy wasn't because they were skinny... it was because they have will power and I didn't.

I only have 15 more to go.. but I started with 50 to lose. I'm not going to hate someone because they didn't let themselves get as big as I did... That's just counter productive.

Yay for you for accepting other people's opinions.. That is sometimes extremely hard to do!

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MEEMMOM 7/19/2010 2:04PM

    emoticon You are so right! It doesn't matter how much you have to lose...if you are making a lifestyle change to improve your health it is a long journey!

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PRETTYINPUNK_04 7/19/2010 12:32PM

    You are completely right, everyone has their own journey to go on.

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WAYFARINGSOUL 7/19/2010 12:21PM

    Another thing people need to keep in mind...

I started my weight loss journey needing to lose about 100 lbs. When I lost the first 75 lbs I reset my goals because my entire life changed so much as I got healthier. On the surface it may look like I only have 25 or 30 lbs to lose, but it's the last few miles of a VERY long road I've been on.

People shouldn't judge anyone's efforts to better themselves, especially considering there's a good chance they don't know the whole story.

You are 100% right :)

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 7/19/2010 11:56AM

    Thanks Ashley! I totally agree with you! We're here to support each other no matter what size and how much or little they have to lose. Being a woman is difficult enough..body image issues, low self esteem... without someone putting us down even further by saying "we need to quit whining." We're all here for a reason, thanks for posting this!

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REESIEANDME 7/19/2010 11:55AM

    I really can't believe that people would say such things on a weight-loss website!!! We are all here for the same reason!! There may be different reasons why we got to where we are but we all feel like we need to improve ourselves. I don't know why people have such anger inside of them that they have to "belittle" other people's problems or successes just because they are not as "big" as their own.

Thank you for speaking up about this topic!! I don't want to play the "one-upper game" with ANYBODY!!! I encourage, support and love everyone equal on Sparks!! Thats what its about!!

Good luck in all of your endeavors, fellow Sparkies!!! emoticon

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MADEMCHE 7/19/2010 11:51AM

    Thanks for posting this Ashley, We are here to support each other, no matter how much we have to lose.

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POOKAQUEEN 7/19/2010 11:28AM

    I definitely agree with you. Expressing an opinion is fine, but diminishing other people's struggles is not!
Cheers to spreading the positive!

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BESQUIVEL 7/19/2010 11:15AM

    Amen Sista! 10 lbs is 10 lbs no matter who they are coming off of and no matter if they are the first 10 or the middle 10 or last 10, they are still hard to get rid of! I come on here to get motivated by others, occasionally I write something whiny or depressing because it's the mood I'm in, but putting other people down because you feel bad about yourself isn't the way to go! On that note, Have a fabulous Monday!

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YELLOWDAHLIA 7/19/2010 11:12AM

    LoL- wish I would've seen that blog! I would've left a comment. Probably better that I didn't see it....
Linda

Comment edited on: 7/19/2010 11:13:52 AM

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HEYPINK 7/19/2010 11:11AM

    When I first came on here (a couple years ago) I used to think that people with only 20lbs or 35lbs to lose didn't really have much to worry about and should stop their complaining (after all, I have 150lbs to go and I was feeling slightly bitter towards people who had less to lose)....just being honest here...

But the more I am on SP, the more I realize that everyone with weight to lose (whether 20lbs or 200lbs) is on the same journey and the jounery is rarely sucessfully accomplished without support.

All that to say that your blog was well spoken concerning the issue. And I hope people read it and it sparks them to be supportive of all people on SP.

:-)
Cheers!
Sarah

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STRONGFOCUS 7/19/2010 11:10AM

    emoticon

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ROTUNDPANDA84 7/19/2010 11:10AM

    Weight loss can be a struggle for anyone. Regardless of how many lbs you need to lose or how big/small you are when you decide to make a change. We're all here from a common goal: to lose weight and develop healthier eating habits while enjoying a warm supportive environment. I don't care how "fat" or "skinny" anyone is. We're all here to make that change and good for us! I support you!

emoticon

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EMPOWERED2DAY 7/19/2010 11:07AM

    You are 100% correct. I think with me what it boils down to is judgement. I cannot stand that. It is just so easy for people to look and judge, yet have no clue. Again wonderful post!

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BROWNEYESKARI 7/19/2010 11:06AM

    thank you for posting this!!! i also love your attitude. we are all in different stages and no matter how big or small we are at the time . all of us want to feel good about ourselves.

thank you again ~ kari

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KATHLOW 7/19/2010 11:04AM

    oh wow, that's quite nasty!

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MAMADWARF 7/19/2010 11:02AM

    Love your attitude! I agree that disagreeing does not make their opinion invalid but why get into a pissing contest on who has it worse? Thanks for posting this... Jan

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Doing a lot of thinking

Sunday, July 18, 2010

I have been thinking a lot about why did I chose now to make this change in my life? Certainly over the 14 years I have had innumerable opportunities to get on the right track to good health but I always chose not too. What is going on now that I have really decided that this is what I want and why did it take me so long? I remember when I was a kid I assumed that magically at the age of 18 I would have it all figured out. I certainly did. Go to college, become a veterinarian, make a lot of money, have 2 cars (one sporty for fun and one practical for winter) get married, raise kids, travel the world and be fabulously successful and important. It was quite a shock to find myself 26, having just left my husband, trying to attend to the demands of owning a home alone, decided not to be a veterinarian because I didn't to be 200K in the hole with student loans, and not a clue what I wanted to be. Even now at 32 I look at my peers who are finishing medical school and I think "how can they be so sure that what they want?"
What I am learning is life is a process and it will never be perfect. I will have an amazing husband but we may end up living our days in his homeland not mine. My first language will always be English but I may end speaking Spanish as my primary form of communication. I most certainly will not be a medical doctor but maybe after all of this I will still end up in medicine but as a dietician. We are in the process of looking for a home but it is not the US. Once thing I am sure of is that I will spend the rest of my days on the track to better health. I will not have fat sedentary kids because I made the decision not to take care of myself. To be the kind of mother I want to be I need to live this way. I remember summers of hiking in the white mountains. The discoveries of hidden waterfalls and wild life. It is something I want my kids to have as well.
Where does all this rambling bring me? It makes me realize I don't have to be perfect or even close. I will spend my life constantly searching for who I am and who I want to be, and that is ok. If I am lucky enough to wake up everyday healthy and happy with the love of my life than I know I am on the right path. We are blessed to have good jobs, a beautiful apartment, and not have to worry about struggling daily and I am grateful for everyday. I look forward to the changes my new path brings for me and I am SO excited to see how far I have come a year from now. I hope you are all still on this journey with me. We can all do this together.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRIP2HAPPINESS 7/19/2010 5:58PM

    Very Very true. emoticon If we were to have everything planned and figured out then there will be no excitement. Great blog, very encouraging.

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JUST_SIMONE 7/19/2010 5:03PM

    I'm really enjoying your blogs. I think the older we get, the more we realize how little we really know. It can be liberating to not have to have everything figured out, but to be able to adapt and roll with what life offers us.

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MAMADWARF 7/19/2010 11:09AM

    I think it doesnt matter the why of the change, simply the fact that you want to have a better, healthier life is the key. As far as figuring out what you want, that is tricky. I never thought I would end up a roofer's wife, running 2 businesses, but yet, here I am. Life is a funny journey and you never know what it will throw at you or where you will end up. That is what makes it exciting, turning left instead of right, heading south instead of north. Every turn takes you a different direction but ultimatly, it is you doing the driving. Keep moving forward! progress, not perfection!

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 7/19/2010 10:13AM

    Great blog, I think we all need to reflect a little more to see where this life is taking us.

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POOKAQUEEN 7/19/2010 5:31AM

    Fabulous blog, I really enjoyed reading it. You have a wonderful view on life, I know you'll do great.

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BELLALAINE 7/18/2010 6:50PM

  Very good thoughts!! thanks for sharing and for the inspiration. trying really hard to just BE and LIVE, you know? stop being so self-critical. missing opportunities to just live out loud. wishing you the best. :)

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MADEMCHE 7/18/2010 6:34PM

    Great blog Ashley! And wonderful realizations in the end. As long as you are happy and healthy you are doing great! I am so glad you wrote this, needed to hear that today.

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