Monday, April 16, 2012
I was watching a show the other night about a young man who lost 320 with lapband surgery. He was sure when he lost the weight he would be happy, but he wasn't. Then it was the huge amount of saggy skin. He made excuse after excuse to not have the surgery but was convinced when he did that would make him happy. It didn't. Now he was heavily scarred and still felt like "a freak". So there he was 3 years later still as miserable as when he started and still turning to food for comfort but scared to death to regain the weight. That is when he met with a life coach. She asked him why he was overweight and he blamed society, the media, mean people, his family, everyone but himself. When he was done she told him it was all crap and he had his victim story down but when was he going to acknowledge he chose to be miserable. The look on his face was utter and complete shock. Now you can't tell me you haven't felt that way when someone in your life has been saying something similar. He got angry but then he realized, she was right.
We all write our victim story and it is what keeps us miserable. This doesn't just apply to weight. It applies to unhappy relationships, jobs, life in general. We create our lives and it is our responsibility alone. Nobody else can make us happy. It is a choice. This is what I have been trying to articulate in my own life for so long. Give up my victim story and start making changes to make the life I want. The best quote was "You are the author of your life". How awesome is that? How true is that? So it might be hard but what is your victim story that allows you to stay comfortable but unhappy? You don't have to tell me but maybe just write it down. Be honest, be brutal. It might hurt but it IS SO FREEING.
The young man stopped making excuses to be unhappy. It wasn't easy for him either. He was afraid of people so he told himself they hated him anyway. It wasn't true, it was his victim story. He also moved out of his controlling and traditional parents home and for the first time in his life felt freedom. He learned to live and author his own life. I cried through so much of the show. We can too. We are only victims if we allow ourselves to be. So as the life coach said.
BE THE AUTHOR OF YOUR OWN LIFE
Sunday, January 01, 2012
My mother gave me this card for my birthday and it brought tears to my eyes because it was so poignant. I wanted to share it with all of you.
If I were your age again, I'd spend a lot less time examining what's wrong about me, and a lot more time enjoying what's right about me.
Because, you know what? You're already perfect enough.
So, live life on your own terms. Be who you are and love what you love. Reserve the right to be wrong.
If things take an occasional turn you hadn't planned on, don't be tempted to call it a mistake. Just call it life, and tuck the experience in your back pocket for safe-keeping.
Pretty soon you can take it out, share it with someone else, and call it wisdom. I'm not kidding. That's how it works.
So, hey- enjoy the life you're in. Be as happy as you can and feel how deeply and completely you are loved. Always loved.
It doesn't get more simple than this. It is time to live my life on my terms and be happy now.
Thursday, November 03, 2011
At least I do now and again. A woman in my office is having a health scare with a lump in her breast and it has thrown me for a loop. I truly believe in my heart we are what we eat and let me tell you as of late I am a pile of white flour and white sugar. I know that is why I collect weight around my middle. I know that is why I am exhausted and irritable. I know if I keep eating this way I could end up with my own health problems. Food is fuel. Would I pour whatever chemical I felt like it in my car and expect it to run?? Why do I do that to my body? The only body I get and I determine its future??? Addiction is scary but it is an excuse. I beat sugar once. I can do it again. Enough is enough.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
This weekend was a good one for me. Saturday I had planned a long day of activities for me and my fiancÚ. We haven't had a lot of time together the last few weeks. It seems like every single weekend something is planned or we have obligations. We got up early, went to the final farmer's market which made me a bit sad. Then we went to meet my father for lunch. My relationship with my father is complicated. It was bad for a very long time. One day I decided to not be angry anymore but that is not what this blog is about. Anyway lunch was interesting and sadly all that really brings enjoyment to him, eating. He still lives in my hometown so after lunch we went to grandmother grave. She died November 11 of the last year. I cried but I was glad I went.
We left my town and drove up the coast to this shop that used to a farm stand when I was a kid and now has become pretty commercial. They sell their own veggies and meats and all of it is organic. I was stunned how much cheaper food is outside the city. Near me, a dozen farm fresh eggs are $5. Absurd, I know but at this farm $2.50. The whole bag we bought was $26 and I bought organic chicken and bacon. Whole foods near me that would have been $75. We both love farm animals so we walked around the farm and said hello to the llama, goats, mini horse, piglets and sheep. Truly I don't know why I love farm animals so much but I as long as I can remember.
The farm is near my mother's house and she had a bunch of house wares and stuff from when I was younger for me to pickup. She is selling her house and moving so there is a lot that I have to take back or it is going to Goodwill. It was fortuitous because now that I am getting serious into my food blog I needed items for staging the photos and did not want to spend a great deal of money. Worked in my favor. We had planned to head to a vineyard around the corner after that but since you are probably already tired from reading this you can imagine how tired we were. My mom lives 50 miles outside of Boston so we headed back home to the city.
I had decided earlier in the week that I wanted to start Christmas shopping early. We don't make a big deal of gift giving. Usually just one main gift and 2 smaller ones. Both of us like to give to charities year around instead of focusing on material stuff for ourselves once a year. I wanted a camera for blogging and he wanted a Northface jacket. I thought it would be a good idea to buy them now before the holiday shopping nonsense starts. Crowds are not my thing. I don't have the patience for it. RAVENSONG37 is an amazing photographer and she recommended a great camera for my purposes and I managed to find it on a special this weekend. Score! We grabbed his jacket and headed home for the day. Time never seems to be on our side on Saturday's.
For dinner I made the last of the organic pork chops from the farmers market with mashed sweet potatoes and rhutabega's and a sauce that I made of local cranberries, brown sugar, thyme and red wine. He loved it. The thyme just didn't thrill me combined with the cranberries but it was different than anything we normally make so I think the recipe has potential. ALOFA0509 had suggested to me to write a cookbook which she didn't know is a secret dream of mine. I decided to start with my blog and work on building the my recipe base for an eventual book. So from this point I will only be posting recipes on my other blog where I have the rights to them. Some will be quick and easy for the novice cook and full-time parents and workaholics. Some will be more involved for the weekend meal or something I saw in a restaurant or magazine.
This morning I met with guy who wants me to work at his new business. We went over the menu he wants me to create for him and the role he wants me to have in the business. Pretty much Operations Manager and Catering Sales. He gave me a surprisingly generous upfront payment and I like a lot of his ideas. I am hoping this turns into what I want it to be and will allow me the time to really focus on my blog in my spare time. Keep your fingers crossed!
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