Thursday, October 20, 2011
I have said this from the very beginning. I do not believe sustained weight loss is possible if we do not address all aspects of ourselves with brutal honesty. It is not fun and it is painful but it is, at least for me, the only way I will find the root of why I eat. Why I seek solace in food. Why I will stuff myself until I feel sick and then wait with anticipation until I can eat again. I know intellectually it is unhealthy emotionally and physically but the desire still exists.
I ordered a book this past weekend called "How to Win Friends and Influence People". If you are not familiar it is one of the best selling books of all time. Originally published in 1936 it is still relevant today. It was suggested to me by my boss when she was telling me how poor my social skills are. Hi Pot, I am kettle, nice to meet you. Anyway, those of you who know me know that I am all about being honest with myself and in general I am a rather angry resentful person. I am quick to get irritated and impatient with people, most of all myself. I hold people, including myself, to such impossibly high standards that I am constantly disappointed. I decided to start looking more into how I can change this about myself because I do believe it is deeply intermingled with why I am generally unhappy. I have only read the preface and most of the first chapter but there are already so many points I have taken to heart. One of the big ones "By criticizing we do not making lasting changes and often incur resentment". Wow, isn't that true. Turns out the person I resent is myself. Applying to my generally over-sensitive nature is the idea that people innately believe they are the victim. Many famous criminals have been quoted as saying they where hero's of the people or merely acting in self preservation. How often I have questioned why people are attacking me or cheating me with blatant disrespect and now I am realizing it really isn't about me. It is about their own personal reaction to the situation. Admitting our short coming is a very difficult thing to do. Since I seem to be able to do that pretty well so far (to the point of being detrimental!) I am choosing to focus how making my interactions with others and myself more positive. Focusing on the negative aspects of all of this is not getting me anywhere with my body or with people. I am looking forward to the rest of this book. Hopefully there will be even more insights I can share with all of you.