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HEALTHYASHLEY's Recent Blog Entries

Last Meal

Sunday, October 23, 2011

This is one of those diet ideas that many people don't like to talk about yet many of us do it. This weekend was a last hurrah of sorts. Maybe it works for some to pretend they can have whatever they want in moderation but I am not one of those people. It is an all or nothing thing for me. The more relaxed I am with myself the more and more difficult this gets for me. Simple is cleaner and more precise and that is what I need to do. Back to basics. Drink my water, avoid sugar, etc. That is when I have success. So this weekend I got it out of my system. Ate some junk, had a big steak but also made the right decisions to set myself up for the rest of the week. I did not buy all the stuff that was holding me back, like the giant fresh english muffins from my local bakery, and instead invested in healthier choices. I know how to do this. I have all the tools. Now is my time to implement them and if for me that meant eating some of the things I am going to say goodbye to well I have no guilt over that. Yes, a few days a year I will be indulge but I know my body well enough at this point to accept that I am just not built to be able to eat as I please most days of the year. That is ok. It is who I am and no more punishing myself over it. I am going to be happy. The last words my grandmother said to me before she passed was "be the person that would make your grandfather proud of you" and not only do I want to be that person for them but I want to be that person for me.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COOKWITHME65 10/27/2011 8:09AM

    Bravo Ashley! Great attitude.

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MADEMCHE 10/27/2011 7:38AM

    Wonderful, and so true. I feel exactly the same way! You can do it Ash!

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RAVENSONG37 10/26/2011 3:53PM

    Great attitude woman. I'm so proud of you!

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NANHBH 10/25/2011 10:53AM

    And you are so worth it, Ashley! Who you are is perfect in God's eyes.
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KATHLOW 10/25/2011 9:09AM

    This is so in line with what I did this weekend, it's scary. Once again you articulated what I was thinking. I can't eat everything in moderation either, so I made myself get strict again. Two days and so far, so good.

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JANETRIS 10/24/2011 7:57PM

    I believe we all know what will work for us. It's different for everyone. Best of luck with your journey! emoticon

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HEALTHDUDE 10/24/2011 3:51PM

    Really?

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VERONICAVW_140 10/24/2011 1:59PM

    But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize

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BADASSBLONDIE 10/24/2011 12:19PM

    Sounds like a good self-introspection weekend. *hugs* Good on you for finding what works for YOU and deciding to live it. XOXO

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FINALLYBEINGME 10/24/2011 11:49AM

    This is definitely about figuring out what works for each of us individually. Love your grandmother's advice. emoticon

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KASSAY25 10/24/2011 9:27AM

    I don't believe in the phrase 'everything in moderation' either. I think some foods should be avoided at all costs with an occasional 'treat' not cheat. I am the same way, some foods i will NOT buy no matter what nor will you EVER see them in my house.

I see some people complaining because they binged on some processed junk, and then blogging whining about it and my first thought is .. WHY DID YOU BUY THAT 'CRAP'? lol

Sounds like you are on the right track! Way to go!

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MSANITAL 10/23/2011 10:12PM

    Great Blog, I am the same way too. yes I do induldge in the pizza and wings but gosh if I do all the time then I want more and more.. and that is a huge mistake.. eating clean and healthy seems to work better..
keep up the good work

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MAMADWARF 10/23/2011 9:37PM

    Im cheering for you and if you need me to nag or encourage, please let me know!! SOunds like you know what you gotta do and are ready to do it! Fire it up!

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OJIBWEEQUAY 10/23/2011 9:03PM

    I am the same way!!!!!!!! We got this!!!! emoticon

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JTAMSYN 10/23/2011 7:30PM

    That's great that you figured out what works for you. Unfortunately, I tried "all or nothing" once for a few months and I was so miserable that it affected all my relationships and ended gaining back 30lbs. I started having crazy cravings for things that I don't even like (ie licorice etc...) So I've learnt that moderation is what works for me. If I know I can have it, I don't really want it. Figuring out what works for you is a huge step! Wishing you much success!

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BIONICMONARCH 10/23/2011 5:47PM

    Do it for you!

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GIANTMICROBE 10/23/2011 5:26PM

    Hey, whatever works for ya!

I'm not really "everything in moderation" OR "all or nothing", I am somewhere in the middle leaning closer to "all or nothing".

My BFF and I just had this discussion, she said she needs a small treat every day to keep her from feeling deprived and then bingeing.

I'm a creature of habit, if I eat dessert every day, I want it every day, and I want it more and more and more.

If I can avoid it for a few days, I get into the habit of NOT eating it, and the cravings go away, and when I do get some, I will savor it and really truly enjoy it, then wait another few days or a week before I do it again.

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GRACEISENUF 10/23/2011 5:07PM

    Good for you planning ahead for the upcoming week. I find I am alot more successful when I plan and track ahead of time.

I understand your "all or nothing" statement in your blog as there are some foods I just cannot have in the house period.

Yeah for CLEAN EATS!



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Changing my goals

Friday, October 21, 2011

I decided last night part of the whole "New Ashley" is realistic goal setting. I get so focused on the end that I get frustrated and overwhelmed. SOOOO, I decided to set my first ticker goal for 100 pounds lost. Truthfully that has been my major goal all along. What seemed like an impossible feat. I got so close. Just 6 pounds away and then had the regain. If I did it once I sure can do it another time and beyond. Seeing my running girl so close to that goal is remarkably motivating instead of seeing her have so far left to run.
Last night I came to the realization I have some level of corn sensitivity. We had popcorn left from an event and yesterday I ate some and immediately got itchy and felt dizzy and sick. This also happened last week when I made burrito's for dinner and had added corn to the mix. I also get that feeling from eating candy. I had questioned if I was borderline diabetic but I had my blood sugar tested before my surgery and I am not so that had to be ruled out. Corn is in everything so avoiding it as much as possible is going to be interesting. That must explain why I lose weight easier when I eat clean as well. Corn sensitivity is also linked with weight gain. This seems to be a lot of common sense. Corn syrup is rapidly invading everything we eat and sugar is one of the largest sources of empty calories.
My plan of attack is going strict on my clean eating. Avoiding refined sugar, corn products and corn syrup as much as possible. This seems to be the only way I can take control of this and start to feel better. All I want to do is sleep all the time and if my immune system is under attack that seems likely it is the cause. My mother has serious food allergies so I am most likely prone to them. I had hoped to avoid them myself but she developed hers in her early thirties. Yeah me, another benefit of turning 34 in December. I am starting to feel badly all the time and I miss the healthy, energy filled person I was last spring. I have the power to change this. It is all up to me and it will happen.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALOFA0509 10/24/2011 8:18PM

   
Bye, Bye Corn!!! You got this girl ;)

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FINALLYBEINGME 10/21/2011 9:29PM

    Hi! Love the idea of changing your goal and taking it mini-steps at a time. Sending positive thoughts your way..you can definitely do this :).

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LEANNROCKS 10/21/2011 6:49PM

    emoticon Ashley! Taking control requires that first step. You can do this. I totally agree with the corn issues. You will feel like a new person once you have that out of your system.

Thanks for a great blog!

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BADASSBLONDIE 10/21/2011 1:46PM

    Resetting the ticker sounds like a wonderful plan! I've thought about resetting mine recently as well.

I'm sorry to hear about the corn sensitivity. :( It really is in so many things and it can be hard to avoid. *hugs* But you are going to ROCK this!!! Someone as talented in the kitchen as you can find wonderful things to make while eating clean. XOXOXOXOXOXOO



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ROCKMAN6797 10/21/2011 10:56AM

    Go for it!

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OJIBWEEQUAY 10/21/2011 10:20AM

    Ahh corn!!!!!! You are right! It is in everything! Funny, the corn industry wants to change the name of High Fructose Corn Syrup to corn sugar.I guess it sound less icky!!!! I picked up some All Bran thinking ok super healthy only to read HFCS was one of the first ingredients! Blah!!! You got the Healthy FIT Ashley!

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KATHLOW 10/21/2011 10:11AM

    great idea on changing your goal - 100 pounds lost is not to be sneezed at, right?? I hope you feel better when you start eating clean again, i'm attempting to do some kind of overhaul next week too... i'm here for you if you need to vent or bitch :-)

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MARTELLA3 10/21/2011 10:09AM

    Check out the movie "King Corn." It is informative and entertaining and will give you a deeper insight into how much corn we consume unknowingly.

Marty

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MAMADWARF 10/21/2011 10:08AM

    Now that is interesting! Sounds like a great experiment. I want you to feel the best you can, too. Onward healthy Ashley!

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VICKLET31 10/21/2011 10:01AM

    emoticon Setting realistic goals is such a great idea. Good luck with the clean eating!

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WORTHEYMOM 10/21/2011 9:53AM

    The running girl being so close can make a big difference in motivation and attitude. You got this girl! Baby steps is the best way to go in my opinoin - my husband has told me that for 12 years now and it has totally helped me from health to work to the house. Corn sensitivity would be rough, but if anyone can overcome it, you can! So inspired by your clean eating. I just told my hubby that I need to do away with any and all sugar in the house - you should have seen the look on his face! LMAO! Keep it at girl and you will have all of the energy in the world!

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Helping Myself

Thursday, October 20, 2011

I have said this from the very beginning. I do not believe sustained weight loss is possible if we do not address all aspects of ourselves with brutal honesty. It is not fun and it is painful but it is, at least for me, the only way I will find the root of why I eat. Why I seek solace in food. Why I will stuff myself until I feel sick and then wait with anticipation until I can eat again. I know intellectually it is unhealthy emotionally and physically but the desire still exists.
I ordered a book this past weekend called "How to Win Friends and Influence People". If you are not familiar it is one of the best selling books of all time. Originally published in 1936 it is still relevant today. It was suggested to me by my boss when she was telling me how poor my social skills are. Hi Pot, I am kettle, nice to meet you. Anyway, those of you who know me know that I am all about being honest with myself and in general I am a rather angry resentful person. I am quick to get irritated and impatient with people, most of all myself. I hold people, including myself, to such impossibly high standards that I am constantly disappointed. I decided to start looking more into how I can change this about myself because I do believe it is deeply intermingled with why I am generally unhappy. I have only read the preface and most of the first chapter but there are already so many points I have taken to heart. One of the big ones "By criticizing we do not making lasting changes and often incur resentment". Wow, isn't that true. Turns out the person I resent is myself. Applying to my generally over-sensitive nature is the idea that people innately believe they are the victim. Many famous criminals have been quoted as saying they where hero's of the people or merely acting in self preservation. How often I have questioned why people are attacking me or cheating me with blatant disrespect and now I am realizing it really isn't about me. It is about their own personal reaction to the situation. Admitting our short coming is a very difficult thing to do. Since I seem to be able to do that pretty well so far (to the point of being detrimental!) I am choosing to focus how making my interactions with others and myself more positive. Focusing on the negative aspects of all of this is not getting me anywhere with my body or with people. I am looking forward to the rest of this book. Hopefully there will be even more insights I can share with all of you.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LINDYLIME 10/24/2011 7:04AM

    I've heard of that book - maybe I will pay the library a visit and borrow it. Great Blog - I always love your honesty.

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ME_FIRST 10/22/2011 9:43AM

    I am very critical and judgmental of myself and others and often react badly. For 20 years I worked for a man who gave constant "constructive critisism" and it made me feel inferior.

I now work for a man who is truly kind. He does not judge or label people. I recently made a mistake at work. When I apologized to my boss, he said "Thank you, you don't have to apologize to me. I should be thanking you for everything you do for me, my company and my family.". He not only didn't make me feel worse about my mistake, but made me feel good about the work I do and myself.

Kindness to others and, most importantly, to ourselves is so much better. This is something I have been trying to do. The irritation part . . . that's really ingrained in me so I struggle with it.

Let us know more about the book as you read on.

Yvonne



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KRAWRS 10/21/2011 1:41PM

    THat's one of the books on my "to read" list, and now I know why! Very good advice. Thank you for sharing!

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BTRTHANEVA 10/21/2011 7:37AM

    ah, Dale Carnegie. I know that book well. It's a classic and I'm sure you'll get a lot from it. Sounds like you already are.

I'm so impressed with you, Ashley. You're very aware of what works and what doesn't work in your life, and you're honest with yourself on working on your weaknessess. Most people would tell you they don't have many - if any. Continue your self-improvement journey and watch how you transform your life.

At 55 years young, I am still a work in progress. However, now when I wake up - I feel good about myself and my life. I am able to embrace love from others and am finally able to love myself - imperfections and all. I've learned to let go of my past and have stopped playing the victim. It's been a long, strange trip - but one that's been very gratifying and empowering. What's most exciting is I know my best is yet to come.

SO IS YOURS... KEEP ON KEEPIN' ON!!! YOU ARE AWESOME, ASHLEY. And you're such a role model to so many people who are starting to find their way by sharing your life with us...

YOU ROCK!

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AMOON502 10/20/2011 10:54PM

    You may have heard...
What you put in, is what you get out, in reference to types of food = energy.

The same applies with your attitude in reverse though...
What you send out is what you get back in.

Food for thought.

Keep pushing Ashley! You can do this!

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MELLYBEANS0919 10/20/2011 8:00PM

    Sounds like a very good book, I will have to put it on my 'to read' list. I am very much like you Ashley, I found out in a therapy session recently I am very angry at myself - and I project it as what others feel about me, when really I am the one who feels it about me.
It was quite the shocker, but good to hear. I hope you are able to get to the bottom of everything, it is so hard to dig deep. I am still a work in progress myself.

Take care!!

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MAMADWARF 10/20/2011 6:33PM

    well leave it to you, ash, to find a solution and make it work for you. I am looking forward to hearing what you are learning. I always like the comment that the only one you can change is you. It is so true. I think by changing ME, I have attracted a much better quality of people towards. Yes, I mean you. :)

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KKINNEA 10/20/2011 5:40PM

    I needed these thoughts today - thanks!

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GRACEISENUF 10/20/2011 5:27PM

    Sounds like a great read. I heard once,(can't remember the source) that the faults we find in others are most likely the faults we have. I thought long and hard about that one and found it to be true in my own life.



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BELLALUCIA 10/20/2011 5:25PM

    Enjoy the book. Good luck to you!

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KT-NICHOLS-13 10/20/2011 5:11PM

    That is a great book. I'm looking forward to hearing more from you as you read on.

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BADASSBLONDIE 10/20/2011 5:04PM

    I am constantly amazed at how insightful you are. You are an amazing motivation to take notice of my own emotional issues. Thank you thank you thank you.

XOXO

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DUSTYGIRL25 10/20/2011 4:56PM

    Wow! Sounds like a fantastic book Ashley! Thanks so much for sharing. Next trip to the bookstore, I'm going to pick one up to read. emoticon

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CHANGINGELAINE 10/20/2011 4:54PM

    Sound like a great read!
I will have to check it out.
Thanks

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Taking responsibility

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

I have reached that point. Another enough is enough moment. I am tired of all the drama and excuses. I can make them all I want but if I don't freaking knock it off I will be 300 lbs again. That is a fact. I am eating like I used to again and sitting around feeling sorry for myself. Yes, some good habits have stuck but not enough of them. I am eating too much in general. I let my business and food blogs dream slide because it didn't happen right away. As soon as I had obstacles put in my path I just stopped trying. I laid on the couch last night for 4 hours straight. That was when it hit me. There was a lot more I could have done with that 4 hours than watch TV. I don't have any time for working on a business plan and writing? Bull. I have time I just don't make the best of it. I did accomplish a truly delicious soup that I wanted to share with all of you. I lightened it a great deal from the original and was so pleased with the results. Why haven't I posted it yet? Because I am telling myself my photos aren't good enough. I am frustrated because I am letting my low self-esteem impede my personal goals and dreams. I want to be successful. I want to own my own company. I want to be healthy and a reasonable size. I have accepted that my chances of rocking a bikini are pretty much slim to none but I am ok with that. I just want to accomplish my professional and personal goals and I am letting my addiction control everything.
So here is a line drawn in the sand. No more mindless eating. No more using candy for energy and stress coping. Back to living healthy all the time not just Monday to Thursday. Nobody, especially me, is keeping me down anymore.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KKINNEA 10/20/2011 2:39PM

    You've got it! Just keep working on moving forward a little each day with your plans - it will add up!

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MARTELLA3 10/20/2011 2:27PM

    We have met the enemy and he is us.
All of us can relate to our being the main obstacle in the quest for a better life. There is victory in getting back in the fight.

Today is Day 1!

Marty

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NANHBH 10/20/2011 12:39PM

    Way to go, Ash! Draw that line in the sand. I'm gonna draw one, too. Together we can do what we cannot do alone!
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CHICKENCHASER78 10/20/2011 11:14AM

    I think sometimes we have to get sick and tired of ourselves to get fired up enough to change. I myself get tired of my ups and downs but I just refuse to give up and I'm glad you are the same way. emoticon

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JANETRIS 10/20/2011 9:19AM

    You sound so determined and mad!GRRRR......go get what you want and best of luck to you! emoticon emoticon

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KATHLOW 10/20/2011 9:11AM

    Good luck! Make it happen for yourself

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MELLYBEANS0919 10/19/2011 10:00PM

    emoticon

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ECONLADY 10/19/2011 4:02PM

    emoticon

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JENN26POINT2 10/19/2011 3:20PM

    You are already six steps ahead by blogging about what you see, how you intend to fix it and why. You're going to be great. I know it. You're one of those people that takes off like a rocket and doesn't stop for anything.

Obstacles are annoying and disappointing, but I know you can climb over them and move on.

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SMILINGTREE 10/19/2011 3:20PM

    I've been working on building a business while also becoming healthier. I took on both "projects" at about the same time and have found that the requirements to do either well are about the same. Also, success in one area often spurs me to try harder and become successful in the other.

It really is all about personal responsibility, you are right about that. The problem is when you realize you haven't been responsible and let the spiral of negativity begin - at least, that's the problem for me.

Thanks for sharing. I love it that you talk about the struggles AND the successes in your posts.

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OJIBWEEQUAY 10/19/2011 2:32PM

    emoticon

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EVRLNGFOO 10/19/2011 2:22PM

    you can do it!

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TAKINBACKMYBODY 10/19/2011 2:14PM

    You can do it !!! emoticon

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HEALTHYASHLEY 10/19/2011 1:56PM

    Thanks but my body is too damaged from being obese. I would need serious surgery to be able to go out in public in a bikini. I have accepted it.

Comment edited on: 10/19/2011 1:57:06 PM

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LITTLEONEJLC 10/19/2011 1:43PM

    This is all good except for one thing. If you want to get down to where you are comfortable rocking a bikini, I believe you can!
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ANGELONE11 10/19/2011 1:04PM

    Great blog where you have fully taken responsibility for your slide and recognized that the only person who can make the changes stick and do something about it is YOU!! emoticon

Get up and get going!!

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BADASSBLONDIE 10/19/2011 12:30PM

    Woooo hooooo!!!!! You go girl!

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AMOON502 10/19/2011 12:21PM

    You can do it! Stay strong and fight the good fight for you!
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GIRLABILLY 10/19/2011 12:20PM

    I've been at this point so many times....even throughout one day I can fluctuate back and forth between irresponsibility and getting it together. It's a tough thing to do. It's good to have some resolve, like you're showing, and it will all come together...bits and pieces. It's tough every day but it will be worth it. We're all fighting this battle! Good luck :0)

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 10/19/2011 12:17PM

    I know you read MAMA's blog about getting fired up. You need to get that fire back. I know it's in you, I've seen it. We started this journey together and I miss that Ashley. The one that wasn't going to let anyone or anything get in her way. Like MAMA said, "FIRE IT UP!!" *HUGS*

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YRINA03 10/19/2011 11:55AM

    That is great. I just had somewhat of the same Epiphany, except mine was a few months ago, but i finally decided to come back to SP and face all my past mistakes from this entire year. All the hours spent in front of a computer or TV. Saying i have no time, but it's really just Excuses. So i'm very happy that you decided to post up that line emoticon

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PGNBRI 10/19/2011 11:53AM

    You can absolutely do this! And I can't wait to see that recipe!

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MAMADWARF 10/19/2011 11:52AM

    Good for you, ash! I dont have time to come to boston and kick your @$$ so you are gonna have to do it yourself!! Where is your fire? Where is your passion? WHy are you letting obstacles immobilize you! I know you dont want that so FIRE IT UP, girl!! I am with you!! Just take it one day, one step, one meal at a time. Just for today, take care of yourself and make good choices. I want to see that login that you were are planet fitness!! Got it? GOOD!!!

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Giving myself a mulligan

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

I realized last night I am almost at the exact same weight I was at last year. At first I was upset. Then I decided I am taking a mulligan. One year of staying in a relative weight range is not a bad thing at all. I had a lot of ups and downs starting with my grandmothers death that will be one year ago next month to the day. The year is over. The negativity is over. I am cleaning house. I am actively taking steps to change my career. It isn't just a job but the industry that makes me happy so I am moving on. I hate sales. I am not an extrovert and that is what this job requires. I don't want to keep fighting it. I want to be a writer. It is that simple. I love food so I need to find a way to combine my passions. I want to own my own business and be free from the rat race. It is funny how often when you get what you thought you wanted it isn't what you thought it would be.
I am ok with this past year. I am not where I wanted to be but I learned so much about myself and who I want to be and what I want for myself. I found my strength. I found me. That is the best thing that could have happened. I learned my happiness is not in a number on a scale. It is in a feeling. If I set goals and follow them I will be successful and cutting out the bad things is the most important part.
Today is a new day and a new year. Moving on.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANHBH 10/20/2011 12:41PM

    You GO, Ashley!
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PINK-PEONY 10/16/2011 10:25AM

    I think sometimes our insides just need time to catch up with our outsides. I love your mulligan perspective, I'm going to have to borrow that!

Hugs,
Melissa

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ECONLADY 10/16/2011 12:47AM

    Good for you!

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JACKIESJ 10/13/2011 10:04AM

    Good for you!

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BTRTHANEVA 10/13/2011 7:33AM

    Acceptance of what is and understanding why you are where you are = the tenderlovingkindness and awareness you need to move forward. Following your heart and pursuing work in a field you're passionate about is key to living a happier and less stressful life! Sharing your wise insight with your facebook peeps = PRICELESS... As are you!

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BELLALUCIA 10/12/2011 5:57PM

    Proud of u!

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RED_WRITINGHOOD 10/12/2011 3:00PM

    I love your view on this!! I am taking a mulligan too!

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OJIBWEEQUAY 10/12/2011 2:55PM

    I am with ya there sista!!! emoticon

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PGNBRI 10/12/2011 2:44PM

    Good For You!! Your weight may be the same as a year ago, but YOU are not the same. You should be proud of yourself.

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KKINNEA 10/12/2011 2:43PM

    Your mulligan let you find yourself and that's the best thing! It should allow you to continue to grow your passions and get fit - very exciting!

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SUZYGREENBERG94 10/12/2011 1:21PM

    I've been following your blog for the last year and yeah, you have ups and downs, and the CONSISTENCY you've maintained for the year is nothing to shake a stick at! You're a real inspiration to a lot of people people here on Spark, myself included! Take that mulligan with a smile on your face and start a new year with a new job, new passions, refocused energy! If anyone can do, YOU are the one!

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BNSUHAS 10/12/2011 1:19PM

    Maintaining for a year is never a bad thing as long as we learn from it and it seems that you have. Congrats on recognizing that you weren't happy with your job and taking steps to correct it!

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NMK1980 10/12/2011 1:08PM

    Happy for you!! You go girl!

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RUNTRILAUGH 10/12/2011 12:57PM

    Sounds great!!!!!


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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 10/12/2011 12:51PM

    I love that you gave yourself a mulligan. I am a firm believer that yesterday is gone and it is now that matters.

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BADASSBLONDIE 10/12/2011 12:43PM

    You go girl!!!!!! :D

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PATTY267 10/12/2011 12:43PM

    You are on the right track ... Blessings to you as you continue your journey.
emoticon ... here's some new shoes to help you on your way!

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