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Normal now and normal back then

Friday, September 02, 2011

Yesterday I heard the pop of a can of soda in my office and immediately thought. Who would be drinking a soda? Then I realized, I am one of the only people in the office who doesn't guzzle diet soda. I don't guzzle any soda for that matter. I have had one soda in the last year and it tasted so gross I couldn't even finish it. Apparently this revelation makes me "weird" to my coworkers. They stared at me mouths agape. "You don't drink soda?" "Really?" "Why?" "OMG I would die!" It surprised me that something so benign would elicit such a strong reaction. Truly I would like to see everyone eat healthy but food police make me nuts and I never ever talk to people about what they or I eat unless they ask me. It does happen to come up a lot since food is what we do but there is never any judgement on either side.
Last night I thought a lot about how my "normal" has changed so much in the last year. Yes, I still eat some things that people on here would freak out over. Donuts happen to be a favorite but they are very rare. I have never really been a packed food person. It has been more than 10 years since I purchased a frozen meal at the store. They just don't taste good to me, then or now. However now when I do buy prepared foods I spent a lot more time reading the labels and making the best choices. I always worry about sodium which was something I had never worried about. I look for items with the least number of additives and preservatives. There is even a local brand of ice cream that is cane sugar, cream and ginger. That is it. I consider myself lucky to really enjoy eating healthy and making informed choices. No one is perfect and I love me some baked goods which are one of the worst choices I can make but being conscious everyday of making better decisions is a habit now and it is something I am proud of. It is a choice what we put in our bodies and I am happy that I am taking control and accepting responsibility for my choices. I don't miss soda and as someone who drank 6 cans a day in college that is a pretty awesome change.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRACEISENUF 9/10/2011 4:36PM

    I don't drink the stuff either. Once I learned how bad it is for me, I gave it up. I recently read that diet soda drinkers have a 60% higher chance of having a stroke. As for the regular soda, the sugar content is enough to steer me clear of it.

emoticon for healthy choices.

Comment edited on: 9/10/2011 4:37:02 PM

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PINK-PEONY 9/10/2011 4:01PM

    You are so right about how 'normal' for most of us Sparkies just doesn't compute for most Americans. My girls' friends usually comment on the lack of snacks if they spend any time at our house before cleaning out the fruit, cheese sticks, veggies, hummus, or whatever else they are gnoshing on. Oh! And only water to drink? Seriously?!?

In the last year, I weaned myself from going out to eat most of the time to only one lunch and one dinner a week. Now, I usually have to just order grilled protein and salad...or broth-based soup...to avoid issues. Ugh! No wonder I was so unhealthy!

Don't forget exercise. For years I sat in my recliner, barely motivated to cook or vaccuum. Now I look forward to getting chores done so we can go play. Yes, you have a good point. I'm keeping my new normal, too.

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MONKEYSNUFFER 9/10/2011 2:58PM

    i wish I had the strength to give up soda. It's the hardest thing for me.

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BELLALUCIA 9/9/2011 3:42PM

    I like donuts too, but I'm gonna eeradicate them. I rarely eat cake nowadays and I don't drink soda, though I will have a diet drink once in a blue moon.

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CORDIA72 9/6/2011 8:45PM

    Baked goods are definitely my downfall too. Soda, not so much anymore but I like you also hate the food police at work watching every bite that I take. It's like get a life already and stop watching me!

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2BEHEALTHYAGAIN 9/6/2011 7:57PM

    You're doing an awesome job Ashley! Isn't it funny how foods/drinks that in the past we thought we couldn't live without now don't even taste good anymore? Those taste buds now like the finer foods of life!!

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JSPIN74 9/6/2011 1:30PM

    emoticon great changes :)

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_COSMOPAULATAN_ 9/4/2011 11:17AM

    It is amazing what is normal now vs. then. I am proud of you!

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DEBBIE19580 9/4/2011 8:01AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NANHBH 9/4/2011 2:40AM

    It always amazes me when people don't believe that I don't drink soda. You are such a good example of making healthy choices. Keep up the good work!

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ALOFA0509 9/2/2011 11:31PM

   
A-men to healthy choices!!! Cheers 2U sista

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FINALLYBEINGME 9/2/2011 4:05PM

    Great changes - funny how that happens. I used to be a big diet soda drinker as well but have scaled way back. emoticon

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OJIBWEEQUAY 9/2/2011 2:45PM

    I like San Pel and beer! Only carbonated items I drink lol!!! Oh baked goods are my down fall!!

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ROCKMAN6797 9/2/2011 2:29PM

    Agreed Ashley!
I have been soda-free for the last 20 months! And I had a 2-litre bottle per day habit! Even though diet soda has 0 calories, I stick with my water. The benefits I have received are immense!
Be proud of the new "normal!"

emoticon

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KAMAPERRY 9/2/2011 1:42PM

    I rarely have soda, only if I eat out, but that is rare. I get green tea when I can. Way to go, I know there is alot of what I used to eat, that I just don't care for anymore!

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MELLYBEANS0919 9/2/2011 12:43PM

    Great blog Ashley. Not drinking soda is a good thing. Good for you!

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PHEFEY 9/2/2011 11:50AM

    Great blog!
I haven't had pop since last Thanksgiving. I had a sip of Vitamin Water and literally choked it down. It was sickly sweet, and my friend couldn't believe I thought it was too sweet.
Anyway, good for you and have a great weekend!

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IMIN2GENES 9/2/2011 11:50AM

    Way to go Ashley! Way to go. Those are some pretty darn awesome changes!
Chris

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WORTHEYMOM 9/2/2011 11:25AM

    As a former Mt Dew addict, I totally hear this! I still indulge in a coke every once in a while, but NO mt dew - almost makes me sick to look at - at one point I was drinking 3 to 4 20 oz bottles a day! Moderation is my key to the coke - this might be an excuse but the husband LOVES his coke. BUT I haven't bought any in 2 weeks, so I think we are going to try to wean him from it! It will help all of us in the house! Keep up the super work Ashley! So glad you are feeling better!

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CYNDERROSE 9/2/2011 11:17AM

    I'm the same way. Most of my office lives off of canned beverages, yet I can't stand the tast of them. It was hard breaking the habit, and I know from past experience that its easy to get hooked again.

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ERIKA05 9/2/2011 11:05AM

    I love that you're lovin' the "new normal"!
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The Hus and I take flak all the time for not having pop and sugary juice/punch to offer guests when they come over, but it's just not something either of us have wanted to have in the house since we finished school and stopped living with roomates. His family in particular gets really irritated when they come over (unannouced) and there's no Coke. His aunt even suggested that we had a 'problem' when I told her that the options were water, milk, wine or scotch! Ummm, hello - It's not like we sub the last two for the soda we don't drink. It's just that it's water unless it's a special occasion, or I wanna feel like Don Draper. Obvs.
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Have an awesome weekend!

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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 9/2/2011 11:03AM

    Very awesome change! I use to be a heavy soda drinker and I can't stand it now either.

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PGNBRI 9/2/2011 10:59AM

    I haven't had a single soda in over six years. And I frequently get those kind of reactions when people find out I don't drink it. I don't drink coffee either. Its like people think I'm some sort of freak of nature! I just laugh it off. :-)

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CHRISTINA791 9/2/2011 10:51AM

    Combo meals are my thing now. I still love the odd burger, and even fries if they're good enough to be worth it, but I've really broken the habit of ordering for 'value' and taking a big serving of fries and a tub of pop by default. In fact, I'm amazed at the size of portions and number of items people order without even thinking about it. People seem dismayed when you don't go for the value, as if you're somehow screwing yourself over by not spending an extra 31 cents for another 500 calories.

I've never been big on drinking anything but water, and it's amazing how many people think that's weird. On the other hand, I really can't see myself hydrating myself with syrup, sugar free or not, so guzzling litres of pop in a day is a concept I can't wrap my head around. I like an occasional locally brewed root beer, but it's more in the infrequent dessert category. And don't even get started on the reactions if you don't drink alcohol - no, I'm not a cheap drunk, recovering alcoholic, or religious nut. I just rarely find booze worth the calories.

Comment edited on: 9/2/2011 10:54:29 AM

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ERIN4771 9/2/2011 10:50AM

    i know what you mean..it;s the same reaction when i say i am a vegetarian...it's funny, but anyone can do anything if they put there mind to it, it just takes time to develop a habit...for the record, i don't think you are weird for not drinking soda...i think it;s pretty awesome you kicked that 6 can a day habit emoticon

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AMYMOHIO 9/2/2011 10:48AM

    People freak out that I don't drink soda too... My husband says he's so proud of that and that when I said I was going to stop, he thought "yeah right" and I never touched it since.

I donated blood and passed out and they gave me a Coke. It was so gross...I got like 2 swallows and threw it away.

It's been, well, I'm thinking like 4 years? :-)

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BECOMING_HOLLY 9/2/2011 10:37AM

    Awesome! I heard this fizz of a soda bottle and my first thought was "oh that would taste good right about now" but then I remembered how when I tried to taste soda again (even diet) the taste was just DISGUSTING to me! I totally feel you there. People can't and won't understand it unless they experience it themselves.

Thanks for sharing!

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I am angry

Sunday, August 28, 2011

I am angry that I finally got everything going in the right direction again and was being consistent and I am having it ripped out from under me. Again. It isn't right or fair. I am angry that have to go through all this. That I have to go to work and tell them I need to take time off. I hardly ever take personal time. I have not called in sick, ever, at this job. I pride myself on my dependability. Frankly I can't afford to take any more personal time unpaid because we are trying to save money but that is what I will have to do.
The only positive thing is seeing how my fiancÚ is supporting me 100%. How he is listening to my emotional rants and approaching this as our illness, not just mine. It has made me lose any doubts I have had about if I am doing the right thing or if I am with the right person. I knew he was the one but having had someone abuse me in the past I have serious SERIOUS trust issues with everyone and it has been a problem in our relationship. This experience has made me lose all my doubts about his sincerity or love for me.
Everything in life happens to us to teach us something and make us stronger. It isn't always what we want to happen but it is up to us to take the good or bad from it. Yes, I am angry but I will not let this beat me and as soon as possible I am going to be right back at it working out and living the way I want to live.

Thank you, all of you, for your amazing love and support. It has meant more to me that you all realize. Love you. Hugs

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BELLALUCIA 9/9/2011 3:37PM

    I'm glad you've found your life partner. What doesn't kill u only makes u stronger, a cliche but oh so true!

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MADEMCHE 9/6/2011 10:34PM

    You are such a strong person Ash, you and A will get through this, together!

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ERIN4771 9/2/2011 10:48AM

    having that support system is a great feeling, and yes, when you have had trust issues in the pat, can also be a bit scary, but, it sounds like you have a pretty amazing man, and i am happy he is there to support you when you need it most, this is how every relationship should be emoticon

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ALOFA0509 9/1/2011 5:10PM

   
Hugs to you sista!!!!

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NUTS4NUTELLA 9/1/2011 3:47PM

    Your fiance sounds so so so sweet and amazing! You are one lucky girl. You are also strong. You will kick this illnesses butt and be back with a vengeance in no time.
I'm keeping you in my thoughts Ashley!
emoticon

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IMIN2GENES 9/1/2011 10:46AM

    That's wonderful that you've got such support! Best wishes for a successful surgery and speedy recovery.
Chris

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TRAVELINGIRL68 8/31/2011 12:00PM

    So glad to hear you have that support! I too had to go through 2 unexpected surgeries four summers ago and my husband (fiance at the time) was with 120% of the way. Talk about a trust building exercise!! :) It is also totally natural to feel angry about the experience, I still have flashbacks of it now - even though my quality of life - my life, actually - needed to have the surgery done. Take care of you, and think of all the Sparking time you will have while recovering! :)

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ROCKMAN6797 8/30/2011 2:31PM

    Great news on the support, that is key to getting through this roadbump Ashley!

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CHICAT63 8/29/2011 1:17PM

    Sorry to hear you need to deal with your situation, you are very well supporting by FiancÚ. As for work hopefully it will be resolved, most imporantly you need to care of YOU.

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PHEFEY 8/29/2011 1:17PM

    (((hugs)))
It is truly the sign of a good person when they see the silver lining in every situation...hello good person :)

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DUSTYGIRL25 8/29/2011 12:33PM

    You certainly have such an amazing support person in your life. It's all right, let him be strong for you.
I'm sure your job will understand. You have been so dedicated to them, it's time for them to to be there for you.
We're all here for you too.
emoticon emoticon

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TESS5389 8/29/2011 10:17AM

    We're all rooting for you! So glad you have someone to depend on! Take care!

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KARVY09 8/29/2011 8:55AM

    Take care of yourself! Priority #1. *hugs*

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LINDYLIME 8/29/2011 7:14AM

    So sorry to hear about your setback. But just know that you will come back even stronger and better than before.

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ANGELOO29 8/29/2011 6:19AM

    I'm very glad you have such a wonderful support system in your fiancee. And, even more so, that he understands your need to express yourself as an outlet. Take care of yourself :-)

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RAVENSONG37 8/29/2011 1:49AM

    It's okay to get angry... Let it out and let it go. You will get better.

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KAMAPERRY 8/28/2011 11:00PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon So happy at how he supports you.

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HIPPICHICK1 8/28/2011 10:30PM

    The greatest gift that you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.
~ lyrics from Nature Boy by Nat King Cole

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OJIBWEEQUAY 8/28/2011 9:57PM

    Ahhhh unconditional love!!! Doesn't it feel good??!!!! We deserve it! What a great hubby-to-be!!!!!! I know what you are going through will be taken care of and you can continue being the healthy gal you are!!! Xoxo

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TREASURINGLIFE 8/28/2011 8:00PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

- Michelle

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CYNDERROSE 8/28/2011 7:59PM

    You are a strong woman, and you will get through this. And you know what, this little set back, it will make you stronger in the end, and it will make reaching your goals that much more special.

You are emoticon and emoticon You are in my thoughts as you work to get through this.

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_COSMOPAULATAN_ 8/28/2011 7:37PM

    Oh honey... do you have short term or long term disability through work? I know it's rough... I wish there was something I could do.

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JENN03275 8/28/2011 7:07PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MELLYBEANS0919 8/28/2011 6:57PM

    emoticon

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DEBBIE19580 8/28/2011 6:20PM

    emoticon ashley.

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GRACEISENUF 8/28/2011 6:08PM

    You have to be #1 right now Ashley. Do whatever is best for you.

Love and hugs,
Judy

emoticon emoticon

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MOXIE-IN-MOTION 8/28/2011 6:02PM

    As frustrating as the situation is, I'm glad that you realize you have a support network in your fiance. He will help you through this. Remember that you have to take care of yourself.

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Illness and a change in priorities

Friday, August 26, 2011

I haven't been feeling well most of the summer. I also despite actual serious effort have not been able to lose any substantial amount of weight. We decided to return early from vacation so I could take some tests and we received some very upsetting news on Wednesday. I am not going to go into it anymore on here than I need to have some surgery and the doctors feel that should take care of it and I should not need any further treatment if it all goes according to plan.
Needless to say weight loss is not the priority right now and is pretty much not even possible so I am going to be focusing on being healthy and staying positive. It is not life threatening. I wish that my last few bad days could be cured with an attitude adjustment or a it will pass mindset but it is not quite that easy. I appreciate everyone's support. I will do my best to stay active with all of you but I have to say my focus is elsewhere for right now. Love you guys.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALLICATT 9/7/2011 8:49PM

    Take care of YOU! emoticon

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TWINSMOMMY607 9/6/2011 1:28PM

    Hugs!!!

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HANNAH_CALM 9/6/2011 8:38AM

    I'm sorry you don't feel well. Get better soon! You're lucky the doctors know what's wrong, AND want to help you with it. Some of them just tell you to deal with it. But it's so nice that you'll be getting well when this is over.

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MONKEYSNUFFER 9/5/2011 2:33PM

    feel better

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KATHLOW 9/4/2011 1:24PM

    I just read this today. i'm so sorry you're sick, I hope the drs are right and after surgery eerything will be okay! Take care, ashley.Love, Kath

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ERIN4771 9/2/2011 10:46AM

    take care of yourself first and foremost, the weightloss can wait....hugs...e

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WORTHEYMOM 9/1/2011 12:02PM

    Thinking of you!

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SIMPLE_TAILOR 9/1/2011 10:29AM

    We're here for you. Just let us know what we can do to help.

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PELESJEWEL 8/31/2011 11:06PM

    emoticon emoticon Hugs & Blessings

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RAVENSONG37 8/29/2011 1:47AM

    Love you sweetie. Whatever is going on, get better soon, mkay?

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NANHBH 8/29/2011 12:11AM

    Praying for your good health.
emoticon emoticon

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DRJJ2004 8/28/2011 7:47PM

    Praying for your healing girl!!

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DESERTFLOWER8 8/28/2011 7:19PM

    I am sorry you are have to deal with this, Ashley. I will send all good thoughts and wishes your way... emoticon

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 8/28/2011 6:10PM

    Ashley, I"m sorry to hear this. I just got back into town, and read your blog. I hope everything turns out the way you want it to. I'll be thinking about you. *HUGS*

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GRACEISENUF 8/28/2011 6:07PM

    I just got back yesterday so I am reading this late Ashley. I will be praying for a successful outcome for your surgery.

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love and hugs sent your way,
Judy

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SACGIRL 8/27/2011 2:25PM

    Stay strong my friend! Sending you thoughts and hugs!

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HIPPICHICK1 8/27/2011 12:44PM

    Glad to hear that you are listening to your body. Take care and emoticon

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COOKWITHME65 8/27/2011 3:53AM

    So sorry to here this Ashley. Good for you for listening to your body and taking action to investigate it with your Dr. Wishing you a speedy recovery from your surgery. Take care of yourself Hun. Take any support that is offered. You need to rest up and get healthy. emoticon - Kristan

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ALOFA0509 8/27/2011 1:53AM

   
Your in my prayers sista!!!! Hugs, emoticon

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BRIAEL 8/27/2011 12:17AM

    I hope the surgery brings you to better health and onward to good health being easier to reach.

Life is all about priorities and it sounds like you have yours bang in line.

Best of luck. :)

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LANAIDAMERON2 8/26/2011 11:05PM

    emoticon We'll be thinking about you and I hope you don't mind if I keep you in my prayers?

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IMIN2GENES 8/26/2011 7:49PM

    Take care of yourself my friend! Sorry to hear that you've got to face a serious health issue. I should have read this before I sent the goodie... I'll keep you in my thoughts!
Best wishes for a speedy recovery!
Chris

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GROOVER4 8/26/2011 7:26PM

    That sucks. I hope your surgery goes well. Look after yourself and come back when your ready. We'll miss you.

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FIERY778 8/26/2011 5:12PM

    Thoughts are with you!!

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CHRISTINA791 8/26/2011 4:50PM

    Sorry to hear that. Sending good thoughts and wishes for a smooth procedure. Take care of yourself.

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SYZYGY922 8/26/2011 4:42PM

    I am so sorry to hear this. Do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself, and don't worry about weight loss when you're struggling with a big health issue. Just maintain as best as you can and take care of YOU.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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IRISHBEANERGAL 8/26/2011 4:29PM

    I will keep good thoughts for you and your family. Best wishes for a successful surgery and speedy recovery!

~Irish

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JESSIHOVER1 8/26/2011 4:10PM

    It is so much more important that you just get yourself feeling better the rest will come in time. Get well and good luck.

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OJIBWEEQUAY 8/26/2011 4:08PM

    emoticonfriend! You are gonna shine through! emoticon

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LITTLEONEJLC 8/26/2011 4:06PM

    I'm sorry you are facing another health issue. Continue eating healthy, cuz that's never going to hurt. I will say a prayer that all turns out well. Take extra good care of yourself. emoticon

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TMP311 8/26/2011 3:46PM

    Take care of yourself first and foremost!

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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 8/26/2011 3:17PM

    Take care of yourself. We will still be here when you can re-focus. emoticon

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BADASSBLONDIE 8/26/2011 3:04PM

    I'm glad to hear you're taking care of yourself and putting yourself first, especially at a time like this. *hugs* Sending good vibes your way.

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PHEFEY 8/26/2011 2:46PM

    (((hugs))) I'll be wishing and praying that everything turns out okay and best case scenerio.

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IBSHAUN 8/26/2011 2:38PM

    Best of luck Ashely and we will keep you in our thoughts! Of course, do what is best for you and focus on your health! We will be here when you have time to come back.

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CHICAT63 8/26/2011 2:34PM

    Big hug Ashley, only positive thoughts !!!!! Take care of YOU

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DUSTYGIRL25 8/26/2011 2:29PM

    So very sorry to hear about the negative health news. Just keep your self stress free (if possible) and take care.
Hope you are feeling well very soon.
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MELLYBEANS0919 8/26/2011 2:25PM

    Sorry to hear that Ashley. Take care of yourself. emoticon

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CARMINACG 8/26/2011 2:19PM

    Ill be thinking of you - i hope you can get scheduled soon for your surgery and be recovering sooner then later! Sorry to hear you are not feeling well emoticon

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CYNDERROSE 8/26/2011 2:04PM

    emoticon You have to take care of this before you can lose weight, I understand.

You are in my thoughts.

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RONIREDD 8/26/2011 2:03PM

    emoticon

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F1AMEDIVA 8/26/2011 2:01PM

    emoticon I will keep you in my thoughts. Definitely focus on getting better. You can go back to the weight loss journey when you're better.

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AARONSGIRL420 8/26/2011 1:53PM

    Good luck, stay positive and get well soon.

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JENBELLE13 8/26/2011 1:47PM

    Your in my thoughts. I know it can seem discouraging to postpone your goals of losing weight, but you have to do what's right for your body at this time. We will all be here waiting for your quick recovery.

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FINALLYBEINGME 8/26/2011 1:47PM

    emoticon Sending positive thoughts your way.

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KAREBARE00 8/26/2011 1:44PM

    i'll be thinking about you. hope everything goes well!
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BIRKIE528 8/26/2011 1:34PM

    Best wishes!!! emoticon

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KAMAPERRY 8/26/2011 1:15PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon Praying for you!

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JSPIN74 8/26/2011 1:10PM

    sending you good vibes...

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ROCKMAN6797 8/26/2011 1:09PM

    Sorry to hear about your predicament.
Take care, be strong, and keep yourself focused on the most important person, you!

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Today, I put myself first

Friday, August 19, 2011

We leave on vacation first thing tomorrow morning. Because I am from this area vacation planning etc is always left up to me as my fiancÚ doesn't know where everything is and I have always let it be that way. I like to make plans and itineraries so it hasn't bothered me. What bothers me is that I will spend days before running around gathering items we need to pack, buying healthy snacks to take etc and in general stressing myself out. I never ask him to help me I just do it and them seethe with resentment. My mother used to do this and it always bothered me. She would rant about how she was so burdened with laundry but we weren't allowed to touch the washer because "we would break it". I realized she created theses situations as an excuse to play the martyr and then punish us for it. That is not a person I want to be. The cottage we are going to is very isolated. No internet, no phones, no TV. I think we need to unplug from life and we are both very much looking forward to it. I got a mani and pedi last night in funky colors because I am away from work and was going to go snack shopping after but I was exhausted so I went home. Today is my last gym workout until we come back Wednesday and I was standing in my underwear debating skipping it so I can run errands and do laundry so I can pack tonight. You know what I am talking about "Oh I really need to put myself first" then "Ashley stop being selfish and do the chores you need to do" then "but I really want to get that workout in and stay consistent". Then I just stopped myself. The dishes will not explode if I don't get them done. The laundry will still be there when I get back and if he doesn't like the shorts he has available to him than he can wash them himself. I am done putting what makes me happy last to please other people because you know what it isn't pleasing me. We have to make ourselves happy. Not our kids, pets, spouses, friends, church people etc. It is our own responsibility. Feel unappreciated? Look at what you are doing to allow it to happen by not choosing your own needs sometimes. No I am not saying neglect your kids but they won't die if they have to miss a cartoon so you can put them in a stroller and go for a walk. In fact you may find it is a good bonding time for you both. Some of my fondest memories of my grandmother was hiking trails in the mountains with her after I whined that I didn't want to go. Your husband won't die if he has to eat the same thing you do. My fiancÚ eats whatever I put in front of him. Period. Yes, I made things we both like but he has taken to eating healthy just as quickly as I have because I told him our health is my biggest priority. I am proud of myself today. Today I made the best decision for me and I will not feel guilty about it. Life is too short to spend it unhealthy and resentful.
I also packed my granola bar and vitatop snacks in a bright pink victoria secret bag. It makes me smile. I am going to be healthy enough to wear their clothes soon!!! Do me a favor and pick yourself this weekend too. Hugs and love sparkpeeps

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANHBH 8/29/2011 12:05AM

    Great blog, Ashley! Hooray for putting your needs and wants first. Love that you are recycling the Victoria Secret bag! Have a fabulous vacation!
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CHATTIEGIRL 8/25/2011 9:16PM

    Hi Ashley;

Good for you, most Moms or people in charge forget themselves for years.And that is not the way it should be because everyone should have a few hours or day for themselves. Even if it is just sitting on the porch with a book and cup of tea for a couple of hours.Keep with your healthy life style. God bless you always.Learn from Spark people each day.

Smile Joyce

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KJDOESLIFE 8/22/2011 1:35PM

    Great job getting your workout in!

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GIRANIMAL 8/19/2011 4:44PM

    emoticon

LOL at "if he doesn't like the shorts he has available to him then he can wash them himself." Right on, sister!

The thing that gets me about when *I* stay in this trap is he wouldn't give a darn which clothes he's wearing anyway. Hell, if he had to, he'd wear them dirty! emoticon This means I totally do it to myself, through and through.

I am a constant do'er and sometimes I whine about it. I sincerely don't think I am playing the martyr -- but you know what, just in case, that's something to look hard at! Thanks, Ashley.

Enjoy every drop of your unplugged time! Sounds dreamy.

Comment edited on: 8/19/2011 4:45:21 PM

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BELLALUCIA 8/19/2011 3:49PM

    Stay safe!

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TREASURINGLIFE 8/19/2011 2:18PM

    That's great! I hope you have a WONDERFUL vacation! :)

And I'm like you...I just "do" instead of ask for help and then seethe when I don't get it, which is just ridiculous, since I'm not asking for it. Duh. LOL. Anyway, I'm taking your lead and I will absolutely choose me this weekend!

Have a great trip!

- Michelle

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OJIBWEEQUAY 8/19/2011 2:04PM

    I LOVE packing the snacks in the Vickies bag!!! What a great idea!!!!!!! Have fun! You deserve it! emoticon

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ROCKMAN6797 8/19/2011 2:02PM

    Have a wonderful vacation!

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CRESHA20 8/19/2011 1:47PM

    I know at home I need to start asking for more help from my husband. He probably just assumes that I want to be superwoman. Then I'm always resentful that he gets to rest when we get home from work while I am preparing the dinner. I have got to do better. I hope that you guys enjoy your vacation unplugged from the madness of this world.

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KAMAPERRY 8/19/2011 1:17PM

    emoticon You go, girl

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ERIKA05 8/19/2011 1:01PM

    Wow! - This sparked a true 'AHA' moment for me.
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I tend to do the same thing with my husband - he isn't a vacation guy, so I do all the planning, quietly feeling resentful and never letting him know how much work it is for me. Then, if he makes even the slightest comment or insinuation that he wishes we could have done something slightly differently, or made time to do X, Y, or Z, I *LOSE IT* and we spend at least 1 day of badly needed vacation glaring out the window and ignoring each other. WOW, how have I never stepped back and realized how insane that is?!?!
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Thanks, Ashley, for prompting the revelation. Have an amazing vacation - you deserve it!
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WORTHEYMOM 8/19/2011 12:41PM

    Amen! Love it! Have a super duper time being "unplugged"! I really hope you get to enjoy yourselves on your vaca!

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MOONBIRD 8/19/2011 12:26PM

    You hit the nail on the head with this! I have problem telling my husband, "I need help with _____." I know many women who try to do it all and never say a word to their husbands and then resentment builds. I put everything and everyone first for a long time, and it got me nowhere, so now I know I have to take care of me because I am the only one who can.

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ANGELOO29 8/19/2011 12:23PM

    We all need to do that from time to time. Remember to put ourselves first. Good for you!

Have a great vacation :-)

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PHEFEY 8/19/2011 11:30AM

    All very true!!!
Have a wonderful vacation!

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CYNDERROSE 8/19/2011 11:20AM

    Have a great vacation. You need it.

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JOSIEISHEALTHY 8/19/2011 11:15AM

    Loved your blog. Have a great vacation and woohooo to choosing to do things for yourself. I think all of us sometimes forget that we need to take care of our needs first. Thanks for reminding me :)

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KKINNEA 8/19/2011 11:13AM

    Just another way of being healthy!!

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BRIAEL 8/19/2011 11:13AM

    Life is all about priorities. :)

Have a wonderful holiday, hope you have lots of love and laughter. :)

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HEALTHYASHLEY 8/19/2011 11:01AM

    I don't think my mother is mentally ill. That seems like a rather harsh judgement with very little information about her and I don't really understand the rest of the comment so maybe I am not taking it the right way. She isn't a bad person, just doesn't handle that specific situation very well.

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XTMONT 8/19/2011 11:00AM

    Love it!

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JSPEED4 8/19/2011 10:44AM

    I'm first for this weekend! Yeaaaay!

People who create a problem/situation, and then want pity or to be the hero, are mentally ill. They often have some cruelty or martyr stuff in their sense of humor, too. Do Not Be "Close To These People. They are like crabs--pulling everyone around them down so that nobody gets out of the crab cage.

Is this person only does this to you--but not to everyone, s/he believes something weird about you, and that needs to be cleaned-up before any more lies, time, sex, commitments, pregnancy, etc get going.

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STAYCXL-NOMORE 8/19/2011 10:40AM

    Have a great vacation thanks for sharing !!
Stayc

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PGNBRI 8/19/2011 10:36AM

    Have fun on your trip! And I *am* going to put myself first this weekend. I'm so looking forward to it!

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CHICAT63 8/19/2011 10:29AM

    Awesome blog Ashley, enjoy your holiday and your time away. Great thing about getting the mani/pedi is funky colors, embrace the sassiness !!!! I figure if the kitchen, emoticon emoticon

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MAMADWARF 8/19/2011 10:08AM

    Have a fabulous time, Ashley.... You are really growing up, arent you? Mama's proud! Cant wait to hear all about your peaceful trip!

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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 8/19/2011 9:58AM

    I love that you packed your snacks in a Victoria Secrets bag!!

Enjoy your vacation!

Hey, take some photo's of your nails and toes so we can see!

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FIZZYBALL 8/19/2011 9:43AM

    Thanks for the peep talk. HAVE A GREAT VACATION WITH THE FIANCE!!!

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SUSIEWHITE1109 8/19/2011 9:39AM

    I loved this blog! Way to go on those choices, and have a terrific vacation!!! emoticon

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HIPPICHICK1 8/19/2011 9:12AM

    "I also packed my granola bar and vitatop snacks in a bright pink victoria secret bag. It makes me smile."

This makes ME smile too!!
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Have an emoticon vacation!

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COOKWITHME65 8/19/2011 9:04AM

    Have a wonderful vacation Ashley. Wonderful that your putting yourself first!

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DEBBIE19580 8/19/2011 9:03AM

    wOW, SOUNDS LIKE ITS GONNA B A AWESOME GET-AWAY, NICE AND QUIET!! ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!! emoticon emoticon

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IBSHAUN 8/19/2011 9:01AM

    Way to go Ashley! Have a fantastic vacation!!!

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JAG-OH 8/19/2011 8:51AM

    Good for you! You have to do the things in life that make you happy, from something important like a workout to something simple, like the pink vicky sec bag. We all need to take time to stop and enjoy life. Enjoy your well-deserved vacation too!

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IMIN2GENES 8/19/2011 8:50AM

    Woo hoo! Good for you Ashley! I'd love to see a pic of your funky mani/pedi colors. That's fun! I hope you enjoy your vacation and have an awesome time being unplugged.
Chris

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MOXIE-IN-MOTION 8/19/2011 8:49AM

    This is the biggest lesson learned in all of this. You have to choose YOU! It is the only way it is going to work. Don't feel guilty, because ultimately, it is your health!

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Arrogance can be dangerous

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

I was reading a blog today that really annoyed me. I am not going into to details because I truly believe everyone is entitled to their opinion whether I agree or not. However it made me think of this blog so something good came from it. Arrogance is a very dangerous animal. It is easy to come on SP and have some success and suddenly think you are a guru. I have seen people using the site for 2 weeks lose 10 pounds and are suddenly lecturing people who have lost a 100 about how 3,500 calories equals a pound. Seriously, do you think that person doesn't know that? I have seen people lose a bunch of weight and start looking down on other obese people. "They are all lazy". I wish it was that simple. Yes, I do believe it is a choice what you put in your body but I don't think it can be figured out so easily. Why people eat and make bad choices is quite a complex animal and to suddenly feel you are superior because you happen to have figured something out for the time being is condescending and arrogant. I sincerely wish each and every person on here would never regain a pound. That they would make changes and never go back, but this isn't a perfect life and people have flaws. To speak to or about people as if they are less than human because you have had one specific experience is incredibly cruel. Empathy is something we all should demonstrate. If the only issue someone has is laziness than they are lucky but to say people who are emotionally abused who have had traumatic experiences are just lazy is an ignorant statement. Think outside your own reality and have compassion for other people.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MELLYBEANS0919 8/19/2011 9:56PM

    Very well said.

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SYZYGY922 8/19/2011 6:14PM

    I agree.

There's a certain Sparker's blog I encounter often and it makes me feel the same way (ha, I wonder if we're thinking of the same person).

Yeah, it makes me uncomfortable too. This person I'm thinking of isn't alone, either. I see a lot of people on here who forget their former selves and then look down on others.

There are so many factors involved in obesity (socioeconomic status, physical abilities, genetics, activity level, education to name a few) and we all have complicated stories.



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BELLALUCIA 8/19/2011 3:44PM

    Well said!

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TREASURINGLIFE 8/19/2011 2:05PM

    AGREED!!!!!!!!!!! Life would be so much better if we all just showed a bit more compassion to one another and thought - just for a second - before we spoke.

- Michelle

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1TRULYBLESSED 8/19/2011 1:07PM

    I try to remind myself that those people, in most cases at least, truly mean well... I've received plenty of lectures from people who have never visited my blog before, know nothing about me and my journey, and obviously didn't read very carefully the blog on which they're commenting. It's human nature, I suppose, to want to jump in with an opinion (case in point: my commenting here, lol!), but yes, it certainly can be annoying!! Fortunately, the vast majority of my interactions here on SP have been positive.

I'm sorry you felt you had to "go private" with your page, but it's understandable...I've been tempted to do the same, and probably will at some point. Glad we can still be friends!
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RUNTRILAUGH 8/19/2011 12:47PM

    WOW.

I have a few sparkers in mind when I read this blog... Then started reading your comments.

WOW just WOW.....

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JOSIEISHEALTHY 8/19/2011 12:20PM

    Ashley I can't believe some people are saying dumb things on your blog...annoying. I agree with ya and think your cool :)Tell it how it is girl :)

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HEALTHYASHLEY 8/19/2011 12:10PM

    Nowhere in my blog did I ever use the words "all people" in any reference. The author of the blog I happen to have been referring too had lost a significant amount of weight. I also never used confident, I used arrogant. There is a distinction. Seems like you pretty much took the entire blog out of context. It's unfortunate you chose to do so and entirely miss my point.

Comment edited on: 8/19/2011 12:10:28 PM

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JORDANA84 8/19/2011 11:53AM

    I think YOU kinda just lumped everyone together too. Not everyone who has 'confidence' is anything like what you're describing. And for all the comments that people are making,it seems they are saying the only ones who do this are only the people who've lost a measly 10lbs. UM NO
I know alot of severely overweight people who are 'preachy' as well. That doesn't mean you have to listen. And everyone is ENTITLED to be confident !

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GEMINIGEM6 8/18/2011 9:02PM

    Agreed.

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DEBBIE19580 8/18/2011 5:21PM

    all i can say is karma gonna get them, when that person re-gains the weight, they'll come back down to reality. My words to live by, be humble. i tell everyone who is on a weight loss journey that, don't get cocky. ive seen it happen, there the first ones to judge others on their weight as theres comes off, then they re-gain all of it plus more. great blog ashley.

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ERIN4771 8/18/2011 10:56AM

    there is definitely a fine line between arrogance and confidence. i tend to stay away from the first. i appreciate people's advice, but cringe when i feel i am being lectured to. I realize what has worked for me, may not work for others, and don't get upset when people do their own thing....empathy is a powerful thing, one i think many people lack unfortunately.....but then again, those are the people i continue to say "suck it" to....haha emoticon
great blog...

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GIRLABILLY 8/18/2011 10:35AM

    Love this. We're all fighting out own battle with weight, food, etc. and we're the only ones who can figure out how to fix it. Simple math doesn't always equate to change.

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1_AMAZING_WOMAN 8/18/2011 1:20AM

    What gets me is those tiny little things who have like 10#'s to lose, and they come to my page and tell me I should be ashamed of posting that "real art" pic in my photo gallery, and how "utterly disgusting it is" and ask in a very denigrating manner, "Do you look like that?!"

Makes me want to slap their 10#'s right off of their tiny little butt.
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Did I say that?

Amber

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OJIBWEEQUAY 8/17/2011 11:02PM

    Wow!!! I never come across those blogs!!!! Ha! I'd love to respond though!!! I run 30 miles a week and still have weight to lose! I am definitely not lazy! Just addicted to sugar!!! LOL! Keep rockin superstar!

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AARONSGIRL420 8/17/2011 10:58PM

    I also agree. I offer advice, if someone asks, but I have tried a few things myself because it worked for others and it did not have the same results for me. Everyone is different, even without considering self-discipline, our biology is different and we just don't respond equally to the same stimuli (exercise, strength training, low *carb/fat* diet, you name it).

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MOONBIRD 8/17/2011 10:38PM

    I was just thinking this the other day. I get extremely tired of people who lost 10-15 pounds thinking they know everything, like it's so easy. A lot of these people have never been obese, they just had a few extra pounds. It's very annoying.

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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 8/17/2011 10:36PM

    Very well said!

I try to just blog about me and to only offer advise when it is requested.

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BTRTHANEVA 8/17/2011 8:07PM

    WORD...

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MEEBELO 8/17/2011 7:59PM

    I couldn't agree more!

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HOPE2011 8/17/2011 6:10PM

    Amen!

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CHRISTINA791 8/17/2011 5:16PM

    So true. I've always hated that attitude (I used to get it a lot with sleep problems. Everyone thought that their warm milk and soothing CD would cure my massive sleep disorder, and I just had to try harder to fall asleep).

I've been lucky enough to be successful here so far. There are times that I worry that, by sharing what's worked for me, I'm saying that it should work for others. No one is identical... otherwise, this stuff would be easy! There's a huge range of medical and emotional issues that go into the weight problems, and I think that every person out there has to find their own cocktail of solutions that work for them. I love seeing what other people have found successful, even if I know it's something that wouldn't work for me, but there's a line that gets crossed often. "This is what's worked for me" isn't the same as "This is what you have to do".

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GIANTMICROBE 8/17/2011 4:46PM

    Oh yes. What I hate is when something works for someone else, so they start preaching about how it's the only way to go. Someone on here told me once, "You need to cut out carbs." Um... what now? I don't NEED to do anything at all..."

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PGNBRI 8/17/2011 4:32PM

    Well Said!

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CHICAT63 8/17/2011 4:22PM

    Oh, yeah !!!!! Totally agree.

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XTMONT 8/17/2011 4:18PM

    Hear hear!

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BRIAEL 8/17/2011 4:16PM

    Amen.

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JBMT08 8/17/2011 4:14PM

    SAY IT!!!!!!!!

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PHEFEY 8/17/2011 3:59PM

    I sometimes think that people who haven't had a setback just haven't been successful long enough. Progress not prefection!

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GRACEISENUF 8/17/2011 3:58PM

    Amen Sista!

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KKINNEA 8/17/2011 3:40PM

    I think there are 2 true things: the same thing doesn't work for everyone and that there are some people who don't try anything except complaining.

That's why I only suggest - just because it worked for me doesn't mean it's the only answer!

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 8/17/2011 3:40PM

    Yep, I"ve read blogs like that too, and it's disappointing. We're all here for support, not to be lectured to.

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COOKWITHME65 8/17/2011 3:36PM

    Totally agree with you.

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ELFITZPA 8/17/2011 3:20PM

    So true. It's easy enough to write off weight loss and being healthy as a numbers game, and for some people it truly IS. But for those of us with far more complex relationships with food, there's just so much more to it. And while I commend those that have it under control, I'm sure they lack the same will power or success in other aspects of life, and surely wouldn't appreciate being on the receiving end of their crappy attitude when it comes to those aspects!

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ROCKCHALKSPARK 8/17/2011 3:19PM

    Agreed!

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IMIN2GENES 8/17/2011 3:13PM

    Well said Ashley! Thanks for having the courage to say it.
Chris

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F1AMEDIVA 8/17/2011 3:12PM

    Exactly! We all are human and we all have issues we are trying to work through. Unless you have "walked a mile in their shoes" you should not judge them.

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SUSIEWHITE1109 8/17/2011 3:11PM

    emoticon emoticon Bravo on this blog!! You are so right about this! Thanks for posting.

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JOSIEISHEALTHY 8/17/2011 3:10PM

    You spoke what was on mind! OMG I made a new profile to get away from those crazy people. I had a sp friend who lost a lot of weight and I was happy for her and she was awesome. Then she soundly thought she was better than anyone. She talked bad about people who couldn't stay motivated and yadda yadda yadda. It was annoying, rude and hypocritical. I mean she was in the same boat before and fell a few times and then all of a sudden she is too good for everyone. Ugh.
Anywho I totally agree with you, you rule :)

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KAMAPERRY 8/17/2011 3:06PM

    Amen, girl. I think this food addiction is truly the hardest and complex one out there.

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