HEALTHYASHLEY   20,870
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Today, I put myself first

Friday, August 19, 2011

We leave on vacation first thing tomorrow morning. Because I am from this area vacation planning etc is always left up to me as my fiancÚ doesn't know where everything is and I have always let it be that way. I like to make plans and itineraries so it hasn't bothered me. What bothers me is that I will spend days before running around gathering items we need to pack, buying healthy snacks to take etc and in general stressing myself out. I never ask him to help me I just do it and them seethe with resentment. My mother used to do this and it always bothered me. She would rant about how she was so burdened with laundry but we weren't allowed to touch the washer because "we would break it". I realized she created theses situations as an excuse to play the martyr and then punish us for it. That is not a person I want to be. The cottage we are going to is very isolated. No internet, no phones, no TV. I think we need to unplug from life and we are both very much looking forward to it. I got a mani and pedi last night in funky colors because I am away from work and was going to go snack shopping after but I was exhausted so I went home. Today is my last gym workout until we come back Wednesday and I was standing in my underwear debating skipping it so I can run errands and do laundry so I can pack tonight. You know what I am talking about "Oh I really need to put myself first" then "Ashley stop being selfish and do the chores you need to do" then "but I really want to get that workout in and stay consistent". Then I just stopped myself. The dishes will not explode if I don't get them done. The laundry will still be there when I get back and if he doesn't like the shorts he has available to him than he can wash them himself. I am done putting what makes me happy last to please other people because you know what it isn't pleasing me. We have to make ourselves happy. Not our kids, pets, spouses, friends, church people etc. It is our own responsibility. Feel unappreciated? Look at what you are doing to allow it to happen by not choosing your own needs sometimes. No I am not saying neglect your kids but they won't die if they have to miss a cartoon so you can put them in a stroller and go for a walk. In fact you may find it is a good bonding time for you both. Some of my fondest memories of my grandmother was hiking trails in the mountains with her after I whined that I didn't want to go. Your husband won't die if he has to eat the same thing you do. My fiancÚ eats whatever I put in front of him. Period. Yes, I made things we both like but he has taken to eating healthy just as quickly as I have because I told him our health is my biggest priority. I am proud of myself today. Today I made the best decision for me and I will not feel guilty about it. Life is too short to spend it unhealthy and resentful.
I also packed my granola bar and vitatop snacks in a bright pink victoria secret bag. It makes me smile. I am going to be healthy enough to wear their clothes soon!!! Do me a favor and pick yourself this weekend too. Hugs and love sparkpeeps

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANHBH 8/29/2011 12:05AM

    Great blog, Ashley! Hooray for putting your needs and wants first. Love that you are recycling the Victoria Secret bag! Have a fabulous vacation!
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CHATTIEGIRL 8/25/2011 9:16PM

    Hi Ashley;

Good for you, most Moms or people in charge forget themselves for years.And that is not the way it should be because everyone should have a few hours or day for themselves. Even if it is just sitting on the porch with a book and cup of tea for a couple of hours.Keep with your healthy life style. God bless you always.Learn from Spark people each day.

Smile Joyce

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KJDOESLIFE 8/22/2011 1:35PM

    Great job getting your workout in!

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GIRANIMAL 8/19/2011 4:44PM

    emoticon

LOL at "if he doesn't like the shorts he has available to him then he can wash them himself." Right on, sister!

The thing that gets me about when *I* stay in this trap is he wouldn't give a darn which clothes he's wearing anyway. Hell, if he had to, he'd wear them dirty! emoticon This means I totally do it to myself, through and through.

I am a constant do'er and sometimes I whine about it. I sincerely don't think I am playing the martyr -- but you know what, just in case, that's something to look hard at! Thanks, Ashley.

Enjoy every drop of your unplugged time! Sounds dreamy.

Comment edited on: 8/19/2011 4:45:21 PM

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BELLALUCIA 8/19/2011 3:49PM

    Stay safe!

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TREASURINGLIFE 8/19/2011 2:18PM

    That's great! I hope you have a WONDERFUL vacation! :)

And I'm like you...I just "do" instead of ask for help and then seethe when I don't get it, which is just ridiculous, since I'm not asking for it. Duh. LOL. Anyway, I'm taking your lead and I will absolutely choose me this weekend!

Have a great trip!

- Michelle

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OJIBWEEQUAY 8/19/2011 2:04PM

    I LOVE packing the snacks in the Vickies bag!!! What a great idea!!!!!!! Have fun! You deserve it! emoticon

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ROCKMAN6797 8/19/2011 2:02PM

    Have a wonderful vacation!

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CRESHA20 8/19/2011 1:47PM

    I know at home I need to start asking for more help from my husband. He probably just assumes that I want to be superwoman. Then I'm always resentful that he gets to rest when we get home from work while I am preparing the dinner. I have got to do better. I hope that you guys enjoy your vacation unplugged from the madness of this world.

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KAMAPERRY 8/19/2011 1:17PM

    emoticon You go, girl

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ERIKA05 8/19/2011 1:01PM

    Wow! - This sparked a true 'AHA' moment for me.
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I tend to do the same thing with my husband - he isn't a vacation guy, so I do all the planning, quietly feeling resentful and never letting him know how much work it is for me. Then, if he makes even the slightest comment or insinuation that he wishes we could have done something slightly differently, or made time to do X, Y, or Z, I *LOSE IT* and we spend at least 1 day of badly needed vacation glaring out the window and ignoring each other. WOW, how have I never stepped back and realized how insane that is?!?!
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Thanks, Ashley, for prompting the revelation. Have an amazing vacation - you deserve it!
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WORTHEYMOM 8/19/2011 12:41PM

    Amen! Love it! Have a super duper time being "unplugged"! I really hope you get to enjoy yourselves on your vaca!

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MOONBIRD 8/19/2011 12:26PM

    You hit the nail on the head with this! I have problem telling my husband, "I need help with _____." I know many women who try to do it all and never say a word to their husbands and then resentment builds. I put everything and everyone first for a long time, and it got me nowhere, so now I know I have to take care of me because I am the only one who can.

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ANGELOO29 8/19/2011 12:23PM

    We all need to do that from time to time. Remember to put ourselves first. Good for you!

Have a great vacation :-)

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PHEFEY 8/19/2011 11:30AM

    All very true!!!
Have a wonderful vacation!

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CYNDERROSE 8/19/2011 11:20AM

    Have a great vacation. You need it.

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JOSIEISHEALTHY 8/19/2011 11:15AM

    Loved your blog. Have a great vacation and woohooo to choosing to do things for yourself. I think all of us sometimes forget that we need to take care of our needs first. Thanks for reminding me :)

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KKINNEA 8/19/2011 11:13AM

    Just another way of being healthy!!

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BRIAEL 8/19/2011 11:13AM

    Life is all about priorities. :)

Have a wonderful holiday, hope you have lots of love and laughter. :)

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HEALTHYASHLEY 8/19/2011 11:01AM

    I don't think my mother is mentally ill. That seems like a rather harsh judgement with very little information about her and I don't really understand the rest of the comment so maybe I am not taking it the right way. She isn't a bad person, just doesn't handle that specific situation very well.

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XTMONT 8/19/2011 11:00AM

    Love it!

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JSPEED4 8/19/2011 10:44AM

    I'm first for this weekend! Yeaaaay!

People who create a problem/situation, and then want pity or to be the hero, are mentally ill. They often have some cruelty or martyr stuff in their sense of humor, too. Do Not Be "Close To These People. They are like crabs--pulling everyone around them down so that nobody gets out of the crab cage.

Is this person only does this to you--but not to everyone, s/he believes something weird about you, and that needs to be cleaned-up before any more lies, time, sex, commitments, pregnancy, etc get going.

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STAYCXL-NOMORE 8/19/2011 10:40AM

    Have a great vacation thanks for sharing !!
Stayc

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PGNBRI 8/19/2011 10:36AM

    Have fun on your trip! And I *am* going to put myself first this weekend. I'm so looking forward to it!

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CHICAT63 8/19/2011 10:29AM

    Awesome blog Ashley, enjoy your holiday and your time away. Great thing about getting the mani/pedi is funky colors, embrace the sassiness !!!! I figure if the kitchen, emoticon emoticon

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MAMADWARF 8/19/2011 10:08AM

    Have a fabulous time, Ashley.... You are really growing up, arent you? Mama's proud! Cant wait to hear all about your peaceful trip!

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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 8/19/2011 9:58AM

    I love that you packed your snacks in a Victoria Secrets bag!!

Enjoy your vacation!

Hey, take some photo's of your nails and toes so we can see!

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FIZZYBALL 8/19/2011 9:43AM

    Thanks for the peep talk. HAVE A GREAT VACATION WITH THE FIANCE!!!

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SUSIEWHITE1109 8/19/2011 9:39AM

    I loved this blog! Way to go on those choices, and have a terrific vacation!!! emoticon

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HIPPICHICK1 8/19/2011 9:12AM

    "I also packed my granola bar and vitatop snacks in a bright pink victoria secret bag. It makes me smile."

This makes ME smile too!!
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Have an emoticon vacation!

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COOKWITHME65 8/19/2011 9:04AM

    Have a wonderful vacation Ashley. Wonderful that your putting yourself first!

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DEBBIE19580 8/19/2011 9:03AM

    wOW, SOUNDS LIKE ITS GONNA B A AWESOME GET-AWAY, NICE AND QUIET!! ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!! emoticon emoticon

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IBSHAUN 8/19/2011 9:01AM

    Way to go Ashley! Have a fantastic vacation!!!

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JAG-OH 8/19/2011 8:51AM

    Good for you! You have to do the things in life that make you happy, from something important like a workout to something simple, like the pink vicky sec bag. We all need to take time to stop and enjoy life. Enjoy your well-deserved vacation too!

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IMIN2GENES 8/19/2011 8:50AM

    Woo hoo! Good for you Ashley! I'd love to see a pic of your funky mani/pedi colors. That's fun! I hope you enjoy your vacation and have an awesome time being unplugged.
Chris

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MOXIE-IN-MOTION 8/19/2011 8:49AM

    This is the biggest lesson learned in all of this. You have to choose YOU! It is the only way it is going to work. Don't feel guilty, because ultimately, it is your health!

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Arrogance can be dangerous

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

I was reading a blog today that really annoyed me. I am not going into to details because I truly believe everyone is entitled to their opinion whether I agree or not. However it made me think of this blog so something good came from it. Arrogance is a very dangerous animal. It is easy to come on SP and have some success and suddenly think you are a guru. I have seen people using the site for 2 weeks lose 10 pounds and are suddenly lecturing people who have lost a 100 about how 3,500 calories equals a pound. Seriously, do you think that person doesn't know that? I have seen people lose a bunch of weight and start looking down on other obese people. "They are all lazy". I wish it was that simple. Yes, I do believe it is a choice what you put in your body but I don't think it can be figured out so easily. Why people eat and make bad choices is quite a complex animal and to suddenly feel you are superior because you happen to have figured something out for the time being is condescending and arrogant. I sincerely wish each and every person on here would never regain a pound. That they would make changes and never go back, but this isn't a perfect life and people have flaws. To speak to or about people as if they are less than human because you have had one specific experience is incredibly cruel. Empathy is something we all should demonstrate. If the only issue someone has is laziness than they are lucky but to say people who are emotionally abused who have had traumatic experiences are just lazy is an ignorant statement. Think outside your own reality and have compassion for other people.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MELLYBEANS0919 8/19/2011 9:56PM

    Very well said.

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SYZYGY922 8/19/2011 6:14PM

    I agree.

There's a certain Sparker's blog I encounter often and it makes me feel the same way (ha, I wonder if we're thinking of the same person).

Yeah, it makes me uncomfortable too. This person I'm thinking of isn't alone, either. I see a lot of people on here who forget their former selves and then look down on others.

There are so many factors involved in obesity (socioeconomic status, physical abilities, genetics, activity level, education to name a few) and we all have complicated stories.



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BELLALUCIA 8/19/2011 3:44PM

    Well said!

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TREASURINGLIFE 8/19/2011 2:05PM

    AGREED!!!!!!!!!!! Life would be so much better if we all just showed a bit more compassion to one another and thought - just for a second - before we spoke.

- Michelle

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1TRULYBLESSED 8/19/2011 1:07PM

    I try to remind myself that those people, in most cases at least, truly mean well... I've received plenty of lectures from people who have never visited my blog before, know nothing about me and my journey, and obviously didn't read very carefully the blog on which they're commenting. It's human nature, I suppose, to want to jump in with an opinion (case in point: my commenting here, lol!), but yes, it certainly can be annoying!! Fortunately, the vast majority of my interactions here on SP have been positive.

I'm sorry you felt you had to "go private" with your page, but it's understandable...I've been tempted to do the same, and probably will at some point. Glad we can still be friends!
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RUNTRILAUGH 8/19/2011 12:47PM

    WOW.

I have a few sparkers in mind when I read this blog... Then started reading your comments.

WOW just WOW.....

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JOSIEISHEALTHY 8/19/2011 12:20PM

    Ashley I can't believe some people are saying dumb things on your blog...annoying. I agree with ya and think your cool :)Tell it how it is girl :)

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HEALTHYASHLEY 8/19/2011 12:10PM

    Nowhere in my blog did I ever use the words "all people" in any reference. The author of the blog I happen to have been referring too had lost a significant amount of weight. I also never used confident, I used arrogant. There is a distinction. Seems like you pretty much took the entire blog out of context. It's unfortunate you chose to do so and entirely miss my point.

Comment edited on: 8/19/2011 12:10:28 PM

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JORDANA84 8/19/2011 11:53AM

    I think YOU kinda just lumped everyone together too. Not everyone who has 'confidence' is anything like what you're describing. And for all the comments that people are making,it seems they are saying the only ones who do this are only the people who've lost a measly 10lbs. UM NO
I know alot of severely overweight people who are 'preachy' as well. That doesn't mean you have to listen. And everyone is ENTITLED to be confident !

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GEMINIGEM6 8/18/2011 9:02PM

    Agreed.

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DEBBIE19580 8/18/2011 5:21PM

    all i can say is karma gonna get them, when that person re-gains the weight, they'll come back down to reality. My words to live by, be humble. i tell everyone who is on a weight loss journey that, don't get cocky. ive seen it happen, there the first ones to judge others on their weight as theres comes off, then they re-gain all of it plus more. great blog ashley.

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ERIN4771 8/18/2011 10:56AM

    there is definitely a fine line between arrogance and confidence. i tend to stay away from the first. i appreciate people's advice, but cringe when i feel i am being lectured to. I realize what has worked for me, may not work for others, and don't get upset when people do their own thing....empathy is a powerful thing, one i think many people lack unfortunately.....but then again, those are the people i continue to say "suck it" to....haha emoticon
great blog...

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GIRLABILLY 8/18/2011 10:35AM

    Love this. We're all fighting out own battle with weight, food, etc. and we're the only ones who can figure out how to fix it. Simple math doesn't always equate to change.

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1_AMAZING_WOMAN 8/18/2011 1:20AM

    What gets me is those tiny little things who have like 10#'s to lose, and they come to my page and tell me I should be ashamed of posting that "real art" pic in my photo gallery, and how "utterly disgusting it is" and ask in a very denigrating manner, "Do you look like that?!"

Makes me want to slap their 10#'s right off of their tiny little butt.
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Did I say that?

Amber

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OJIBWEEQUAY 8/17/2011 11:02PM

    Wow!!! I never come across those blogs!!!! Ha! I'd love to respond though!!! I run 30 miles a week and still have weight to lose! I am definitely not lazy! Just addicted to sugar!!! LOL! Keep rockin superstar!

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AARONSGIRL420 8/17/2011 10:58PM

    I also agree. I offer advice, if someone asks, but I have tried a few things myself because it worked for others and it did not have the same results for me. Everyone is different, even without considering self-discipline, our biology is different and we just don't respond equally to the same stimuli (exercise, strength training, low *carb/fat* diet, you name it).

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MOONBIRD 8/17/2011 10:38PM

    I was just thinking this the other day. I get extremely tired of people who lost 10-15 pounds thinking they know everything, like it's so easy. A lot of these people have never been obese, they just had a few extra pounds. It's very annoying.

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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 8/17/2011 10:36PM

    Very well said!

I try to just blog about me and to only offer advise when it is requested.

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BTRTHANEVA 8/17/2011 8:07PM

    WORD...

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MEEBELO 8/17/2011 7:59PM

    I couldn't agree more!

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HOPE2011 8/17/2011 6:10PM

    Amen!

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CHRISTINA791 8/17/2011 5:16PM

    So true. I've always hated that attitude (I used to get it a lot with sleep problems. Everyone thought that their warm milk and soothing CD would cure my massive sleep disorder, and I just had to try harder to fall asleep).

I've been lucky enough to be successful here so far. There are times that I worry that, by sharing what's worked for me, I'm saying that it should work for others. No one is identical... otherwise, this stuff would be easy! There's a huge range of medical and emotional issues that go into the weight problems, and I think that every person out there has to find their own cocktail of solutions that work for them. I love seeing what other people have found successful, even if I know it's something that wouldn't work for me, but there's a line that gets crossed often. "This is what's worked for me" isn't the same as "This is what you have to do".

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GIANTMICROBE 8/17/2011 4:46PM

    Oh yes. What I hate is when something works for someone else, so they start preaching about how it's the only way to go. Someone on here told me once, "You need to cut out carbs." Um... what now? I don't NEED to do anything at all..."

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PGNBRI 8/17/2011 4:32PM

    Well Said!

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CHICAT63 8/17/2011 4:22PM

    Oh, yeah !!!!! Totally agree.

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XTMONT 8/17/2011 4:18PM

    Hear hear!

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BRIAEL 8/17/2011 4:16PM

    Amen.

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JBMT08 8/17/2011 4:14PM

    SAY IT!!!!!!!!

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PHEFEY 8/17/2011 3:59PM

    I sometimes think that people who haven't had a setback just haven't been successful long enough. Progress not prefection!

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GRACEISENUF 8/17/2011 3:58PM

    Amen Sista!

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KKINNEA 8/17/2011 3:40PM

    I think there are 2 true things: the same thing doesn't work for everyone and that there are some people who don't try anything except complaining.

That's why I only suggest - just because it worked for me doesn't mean it's the only answer!

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 8/17/2011 3:40PM

    Yep, I"ve read blogs like that too, and it's disappointing. We're all here for support, not to be lectured to.

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COOKWITHME65 8/17/2011 3:36PM

    Totally agree with you.

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ELFITZPA 8/17/2011 3:20PM

    So true. It's easy enough to write off weight loss and being healthy as a numbers game, and for some people it truly IS. But for those of us with far more complex relationships with food, there's just so much more to it. And while I commend those that have it under control, I'm sure they lack the same will power or success in other aspects of life, and surely wouldn't appreciate being on the receiving end of their crappy attitude when it comes to those aspects!

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ROCKCHALKSPARK 8/17/2011 3:19PM

    Agreed!

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IMIN2GENES 8/17/2011 3:13PM

    Well said Ashley! Thanks for having the courage to say it.
Chris

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F1AMEDIVA 8/17/2011 3:12PM

    Exactly! We all are human and we all have issues we are trying to work through. Unless you have "walked a mile in their shoes" you should not judge them.

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SUSIEWHITE1109 8/17/2011 3:11PM

    emoticon emoticon Bravo on this blog!! You are so right about this! Thanks for posting.

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JOSIEISHEALTHY 8/17/2011 3:10PM

    You spoke what was on mind! OMG I made a new profile to get away from those crazy people. I had a sp friend who lost a lot of weight and I was happy for her and she was awesome. Then she soundly thought she was better than anyone. She talked bad about people who couldn't stay motivated and yadda yadda yadda. It was annoying, rude and hypocritical. I mean she was in the same boat before and fell a few times and then all of a sudden she is too good for everyone. Ugh.
Anywho I totally agree with you, you rule :)

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KAMAPERRY 8/17/2011 3:06PM

    Amen, girl. I think this food addiction is truly the hardest and complex one out there.

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Feeling Desperate

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

I haven't felt desperation in awhile. It feels strange and unfamiliar. Like being in someone else's body or the uncomfortably snug jeans that fit just a few months ago. This is standard protocol for me as I attempt weight loss.
Now before someone inevitably only reads into this what they want to read. I am not saying I am going to quit. Yes, I know it is a process. This is about working through feelings, all of them good and bad.
I wish I could say I don't care about losing weight and this is just about being healthy and I am ok with losing a pound a week. The truth is I am not. I am frustrated with how slow this is happening and I want my body to match how great I feel about myself on the inside. I am tired of catching a glimpse of myself in a mirror and feeling like I look so cute and then seeing my reflection and seeing how much work I still have to do. I know this will pass and I will push through it. I will use these feelings as motivation to keep on the right path. It makes me even more determined to do this for myself. I was reading about a 48 year old with 2 small children that had a heart attack and died in a parking lot. He left his kids and wife behind. It made me so sad to see a young life cut short and I will do anything to not let that be a pain my family has to endure. I will fight through this and come out stronger.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALOFA0509 8/27/2011 1:52AM

   
I think your just SUPER!!!! Love, Me

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LUVMYCRAZYKIDS 8/17/2011 4:48PM

    I have only begun my journey but I can say that I know how you feel. Sometimes I think to myself "HOW DID I GET TO THIS POINT WITHOUT NOTICING OR CARING??!!" Those feelings do pass for me as well and I then get energized! It's cyclical! The best reasoning for myself is that I must continue moving forward...no matter HOW LONG IT TAKES!! Backward is NOT an option! emoticon

Stay strong friend!!

Dawn

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IMIN2GENES 8/17/2011 3:17PM

    I understand the feeling, but I don't really have any advice to offer, just support and an ear to listen. I'm behind where my little tracker says I should be in my weight loss and it frustrates me. I wish it would go faster! All I can really say is that I'm right there with you putting one foot in front of the other and cheering you on!
Chris

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SUSIEWHITE1109 8/17/2011 3:14PM

    I can totally relate to what you're saying -- it's hard to not get down on myself, so I appreciate you writing this. I needed to hear the message today.

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KKINNEA 8/17/2011 12:05PM

    I think everyone has these patches, and if they say don't, they're probably lying!

I think the important thing is to guide yourself through these to the other side, picking back up a better attitude or anything else dropped along the way. The best thing is to not grind to a halt!

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HIPPICHICK1 8/17/2011 10:51AM

    Perhaps you should be okay with losing a pound a week. It'll prepare you for when you will only be losing a pound a month or you're on a plateau for, say 4 months. Losing a pound a week sounds pretty good when you consider those slower alternatives.
The stress you are adding to your life by deciding to be frustrated isn't doing you any good, is it?
Just keep on swimming, swimming, swimming and when you find yourself unhappy, look at the recent past and give yourself a pat on the back instead of a kick in the head.
All you have to do to change your life is change your mind.
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CYNDERROSE 8/17/2011 10:07AM

    You took the works out of my head.

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FITNFABMAMA 8/17/2011 9:27AM

    I SOOOO know how you feel! I feel like I am looking so damn hot, then get a glimpse in the mirror or put on something that looked good last week to only feel like crap at the way I look on the outside. These are the times when its good to push yourself a little harder, more so to get rid of the bad feelings and bring the good back. LOL! Some good screaming does the mind good sometimes too!! Just make sure whom ever is around knows you are just screaming to release and that nothing is wrong!! (Trust me, don't want to create anymore stress for yourself!!!) Hope things starting going more the way you want!! The quicker the better, but still staying healthy! Let me know if you need any positive reinforcement!! I'll bring the troops! emoticon

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IBSHAUN 8/17/2011 12:36AM

    No advice to offer that would be different from what you already know. Just words of encouragement and a reminder that we're here with you!

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KAMAPERRY 8/17/2011 12:33AM

    I know how you feel. I have been working so hard and it seems to only be inching off. Times like this I like to look at old pictures of me and remind myself of how sick and awful I felt. AND to see what I can do now. We are gonna get where we want to be and will be glad for the time it took, 'cause it gives us time to learn! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MAMADWARF 8/17/2011 12:27AM

    meh... that is a crummy feeling. Please dont feel you have to explain or justify. Sometimes it is ok to just complain and throw it out there and feel what you feel. I know positive Ashley will be back in a day or two. It is a hard thing we are doing and sometimes it gets to you, me and all of us. You have lost a staggering amount of weight and I know you want more and I know you want to "get there" cause I feel the same way. But progress, not perfection right? I see every time you log into the gym and I know how hard you are working... You are doing great and I am with you. Win, lose or draw. I got you, Babe!

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COOKWITHME65 8/16/2011 11:24PM

    I feel the same way Ashley at times. Tomorrow is a new day. Lets make it the best we can! It's one step further towards our goals.

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FINALLYBEINGME 8/16/2011 11:01PM

    I completely understand and have no advice that you already don't know - just want to say that "this too shall pass" and you will be looking back at this as a blip on the radar screen. emoticon

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SMILINGTREE 8/16/2011 10:30PM

    I understand the feeling you describe. There have been days when I felt great - strong, healthy, like I'm really doing well. Then I will get dressed and my reflection is a complete shocker. I also understand wanting your outside to match your how you feel inside. I don't have any words of wisdom to share - just wanted to let you know I feel the same way. Maybe frustration loves company like misery does?

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MADEMCHE 8/16/2011 10:28PM

    This feeling happens to me too. I hear you loud and clear. You can do this, we can do this together. We support each other through these times and move on. I am here whenever you need to talk and cheer whenever you want it! Love you!

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GIRANIMAL 8/16/2011 10:08PM

    This kind of frustration sucks. emoticon

But unfortunately, I do think it is par for the course.

Just try to think of it this way: Losing the weight more slowly means your brain has time to catch up. Really, I know right now your body is the one lagging behind, but I'll bet there will come a time when it will be your perception instead. It's still true for me after 75 pounds. And both are hard!

It's also true that slower loss is easier to maintain, of course. And maybe you won't have many loose skin problems this way either!

Hang in there, girl. You're one tough cookie!

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GRACEISENUF 8/16/2011 9:47PM

    I totally get this blog Ashley as I feel the same way.

WE WILL DO THIS!

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MOXIE-IN-MOTION 8/16/2011 9:10PM

    So sorry you're feeling this way. I wish I could offer some advice, but I often feel the very same way. One second, weight doesn't matter, it is all about how I feel. The next, I'm frustrated that the scale isn't moving. Granted, I'm not nearly as restrictive as I used to be food-wise, and real life gets in the way, but still, there has to be some happy medium with our feelings!

I am inspired though, about your idea to use these thoughts as motivation. Instead of letting them get me down, maybe I'll try using them to help me push harder.

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GETTING_FIT44 8/16/2011 8:35PM

    Hey!! I'm going through the same thing!! Except one thing: My weight is less than a pound a week, if any. Sometimes it's just the way it is.I've been told you may not lose anything weight wise but if you track inches around your body you might actually see you lost 3 inches the week you didn't lose weight.Muscle weighs more.While you're trying to lose muscle is being built which could take a while to kick your body into gear and start losing 2 pounds a week.The first time I lost weight (this is my second and no proud) I was the same way as I am now.Sometimes I would lose nothing and then a pound a week every week.It was totally slow and I took advantage of that.It was slow and I forgot to realize that I had lost 23 pounds.Now, I smile every morning dispite what I see.I'm doing something now, and I know I'll see changes.For me, college is about to start.I am so terrified,but I can do it. Don't let anything get to you.I catch those ugly looks and see how far I have to go.I always always always look away.Even if my thought goes all the way through, I look away and remind myself that I feel great.And confidence is something MOST people DON'T have (basically because of the economy and stress).Take a breather.You're doing an awesome job :)

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CRESHA20 8/16/2011 8:33PM

    Ashley, I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I know it doesn't help to hear this, but it is better to lose it slower because it's easier to keep it off. I also think that you will appreciate it in the end when you do reach your goal because you know you had to struggle to lose every pound. You will have put in some hard work towards that goal. I know you can do it. Just remember that it didn't come on overnight, so it won't be so easy to get it off. It's a lot easier to consume 3,500 calories than it is to burn those suckers off unfortunately. Keep up the great work, and you will achieve your goals.

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JTAMSYN 8/16/2011 8:32PM

    I'm sorry for how you're feeling. I often feel that way and this has been the cause of all my previous failed attempts. I spoke of it in my first blog on Sparks. Its so much work and it can be hard to keep the initial excitement when the results don't match our expectations. I think its really good of you to focus on how great you feel on the inside as that's the most important. The rest will come with time and persistence. Hang in there!
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Comment edited on: 8/16/2011 8:33:23 PM

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4th straight week of consistency

Monday, August 15, 2011

I am proud to report I have kept up with all the goals I set 4 weeks ago about being consistent. I have worked out a minimum of 3 days, most weeks 4, every week. Both strength training and cardio, as well as some ab work etc at home. I have brought my lunch every single day except once that I planned not too and I didn't go crazy and tracked everything. I have been making consistently better food choices and planning ahead. I even went to 2 different supermarkets this weekend to get different healthy products that are helping me get on track that I can only get at specific places. I just stock up so I don't have to go too frequently. I can see my body changing every day and I truly believe strength training is a very important thing for me. More muscle makes me look smaller, feel stronger and burn more calories. Women can not bulk up the way men do so stop using that as an excuse ladies and add strength training. You will be surprised how much better you look after even just a week!
My next goal is to get a better handle on my eating. I am still mindless eating or grabbing junk that is in front of me that I don't need. It bothers me because I know if I got a handle on the unplanned snacking this will be the key to my keep all of this under control. I feel like I am finally living a way that is manageable and that is exciting. Not feeling deprived and like I have no time for myself. It has also made me realize that I don't like what I do and until I make a change work will stress me out. I hate sales, always have. I like the planning the events portion but not the cold calling and soliciting. It just isn't my thing and I need to accept that and look for a new job. It is scary but it is the right thing to do.

My goals this week:
Keep up the working out and pushing myself at the gym
Get the mindless eating and unplanned snacking under control
Start looking for jobs that are more my thing
Be more consistent with my water. I am either drowning myself or not drinking enough. I need to be mindful of that.
Address some issues with a good friend of mine that are bothering me and I need to just say something and resolve it or move on from the friendship. It is causing me too much stress.

Have a great week my sparkpeeps. I love you guys!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRACEISENUF 8/16/2011 4:52PM

    Way to go on the strength training Ashley. I do hope you find another job that is less stressful and you really enjoy doing.

Happy vacay!

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NOTABOUTHEFACE 8/16/2011 1:29PM

    Sounds like you are kicking butt and taking names! Keep up the great work!

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NUTS4NUTELLA 8/16/2011 12:43PM

    I'm SO glad you are doing well! Consistency has proven a bit difficult for me as of late. Now I am even more inspired to strive for it. Thanks for writing this and keep up the awesomeness!
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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 8/16/2011 10:20AM

    I have been consistently doing my ST and I have noticed a tremendous change in my arms. I have shirts that were snug around my biceps that are now baggy. I love ST!

I need to be more consistent with my water too. I get in nine 8 ounces, but I need more on my running days and on my yard days, I live in northern AZ.

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IMIN2GENES 8/16/2011 10:03AM

    Ashley,

Congrats on your consistency! Way to work it. I love your goals for the week. That's such a great idea and probably helps keep you focused. I might have to try that one... sometimes I lose my focus during the week.

Thanks for sharing your insights! I enjoy reading your blogs. I'm totally with you on the strength training. That made a big difference for me! I've been a little lax with it these last 2 weeks, so I really need to get back on it!

Chris

PS - Good luck with the job search! I'll send positive thoughts your way!

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LINDYLIME 8/16/2011 12:26AM

    I love hearing how you are always striving to better yourself for your health. It encourages me to do the same. Thanks for sharing!

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LORETTA24 8/15/2011 11:35PM

    emoticon Awesome! emoticon

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KAMAPERRY 8/15/2011 11:35PM

    emoticon

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PELESJEWEL 8/15/2011 8:13PM

    emoticon very well earned check mark for consistency which is one of the keys....

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JESSIHOVER1 8/15/2011 5:05PM

    emoticon


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SEESTARS 8/15/2011 5:03PM

    Ash, it is so good to hear about your 4 week success and your goals for the next week. Way to go with the workouts and I totally agree that ST is the key for a lot of ladies if they would only try it. Many hugs. And good luck with the job search (and thanks for the reminder I should be doing the same thing).

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HIPPICHICK1 8/15/2011 4:04PM

    Congrats on your consistency! I agree with you about strength training. It's an awesome thing! Have you ever been to this website?
http://www.stumptuous.c
om/
Totally rocks!

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SYZYGY922 8/15/2011 3:58PM

    Work snacks are the worst. Congrats on your consistency. I don't like the act of doing strength training, but I like the difference I see already!

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BELLALUCIA 8/15/2011 2:07PM

    Keep trucking, nice name btw.

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KKINNEA 8/15/2011 2:02PM

    Great report and great job!!

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HEALTHYASHLEY 8/15/2011 1:21PM

    Uggh the snacks are provided by work so I can't control their existence. I don't buy anything tempting for my house but for example some put literally a bucket of sliced tea cakes in the middle of our office. Out of the 6 of us 3 are very careful about what we eat. After about an hour I just moved them back to our common kitchen.

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FINALLYBEINGME 8/15/2011 1:15PM

    Congratulations on staying consistent for 4 weeks. I hope the situation with your friend works out. It is good to speak up and clear the air sometimes! emoticon

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RAVENSONG37 8/15/2011 1:15PM

    Wonderful progress darling!

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ROCKMAN6797 8/15/2011 12:57PM

    Ugh!
I am with you about the mindless eating!
I have to continually remind myself to eat with a purpose (and get rid of all those enticing snacks!)
Congrats on your consistency, keep up the great work!

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XTMONT 8/15/2011 12:56PM

    Great plan!

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DRJJ2004 8/15/2011 11:12AM

    Sounds like you're doing great!!! Way to go!!



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PGNBRI 8/15/2011 11:07AM

    ST makes such a huge difference! This is the first time I've ever included it consistently and I can't believe the noticible change! Its amazing.

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WORTHEYMOM 8/15/2011 10:30AM

    Love strength training! It really makes a difference! congrats on meeting all of your goals! Keep up the great work!

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SAMMYSWEETPEA 8/15/2011 10:19AM

    Awesome job! Consistency is key.

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 8/15/2011 10:16AM

    Good for you Ashley! You're doing great, and I know you'll keep going!

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IBSHAUN 8/15/2011 10:13AM

    Great job on keeping to your goals! You are right about the ST - it really makes a difference. I didn't get it in the beginning and thought I had to only cardio cardo cardio, but then something clicked with the ST and I feel better. Things are also better toned and it helps me to feel smaller. Very good points Ashley! Good luck this week! I hope things clear up with your friend - that can be very stressful.

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Something amazing happened to me today

Sunday, August 14, 2011

We stopped for coffee on the way to drop my fiancÚ off at work this afternoon and for the first time EVER I had zero urge to order anything. Baked goods are my weakness. Especially muffins and donuts. I rarely eat donuts anymore but even when I know intellectually most muffins are about 3 serving sizes and are horrible for us I still have the urge. Today there was no urge. I actually was kind of repulsed by the idea. This is HUGE for me. I don't think that I will ever be 100% over the desire to eat baked goods but it felt good not to have the feel being overwhelming or controlling.
Everything I ate today was in the realm of healthy and I chose to eat them. That is an amazing feeling. I have always had a choice but to not be obsessed with food is one of my long term goals. To be able to freely choose to have an indulgence without the urges to eat anything and everything control. To be able to put my fork down when I am full not when my plate happens to be empty. Today I felt one step closer to that.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IMIN2GENES 8/16/2011 9:56AM

    Woo hoo! What a great feeling!
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KJDOESLIFE 8/16/2011 9:09AM

    Great job!

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KKINNEA 8/15/2011 5:07PM

    Too awesome - great job!

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SDM0618 8/15/2011 4:29PM

    emoticon Good for you...hopefully I will be able to get there myself emoticon

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HIPPICHICK1 8/15/2011 4:09PM

    All I have to do to stop myself from eating something that may look good is read the nutritional info on the label (if available). Also my mantra since joining Spark has been "If I don't know how many calories are in it, I ain't eatin' it!" How do you track it if you don't know how it was made? I like my numbers to be accurate whether it's a calorie in or a calorie burnt.
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CYNDERROSE 8/15/2011 3:43PM

    Great job!

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KRAWRS 8/15/2011 2:21PM

    Hey, that makes two of us! We stopped at Dairy Queen to use the bathroom on my way home from camping with a friend... she got some DQ, I didn't. And didn't miss it. Woah victory! Go us! GO YOU! :D

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ANGELOO29 8/15/2011 2:21PM

    That is absolutely awesome!! I need to get there!!!

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FLACA_CHIQUITA 8/15/2011 12:48PM

    Yay! Flippin' awesome!

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COOKWITHME65 8/15/2011 11:26AM

    emoticon Ashley, you are in control.

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DUSTYGIRL25 8/15/2011 10:35AM

    Wonderful,what a great feeling!
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OJIBWEEQUAY 8/15/2011 8:10AM

    What an accomplishment! I too am a lover of the bake goods! One of my first stops on Sat. at my bakery is the clearance rack(I wont pay 10 but I will 5)! Oh what a bad habit! I need to stop that!!! Good for you girl! You are on the fast track!! emoticon

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MADEMCHE 8/15/2011 7:31AM

    Way to go Ashley! Super proud of you!

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CARILOUIE 8/15/2011 7:24AM

    emoticon

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KAMAPERRY 8/14/2011 11:41PM

    emoticon

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FINALLYBEINGME 8/14/2011 11:13PM

    emoticon That is a big step :).

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SYZYGY922 8/14/2011 9:26PM

    Congrats! I've noticed similar changes in myself, too. It just goes to show you that if you put the time and effort in, your habits eventually change.

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GRACEISENUF 8/14/2011 9:21PM

    emoticon

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MELLYBEANS0919 8/14/2011 8:52PM

    Congrats on passing on the baked goods!

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ROCKMAN6797 8/14/2011 8:38PM

    emoticon

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PGNBRI 8/14/2011 8:00PM

    That's wonderful! Congratulations!

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