HEALTHYASHLEY   20,870
SparkPoints
20,000-24,999 SparkPoints
 
 
HEALTHYASHLEY's Recent Blog Entries

Why my new name?

Thursday, August 11, 2011

I have never been someone who could come up with a cute screen name for anything. Never. Sometimes I read people's choice and I am amazed at their quick wit or how they identify with a part of their life so strongly. Our names say a lot about who we are. ASHLEY1977T was lacking in saying a lot about who I am. My name, birth year and future last initial. Big woop. That doesn't say a lot about me and truly it has been a pretty good metaphor for the last 33 years of my life. I never felt like I belonged anywhere. I remember reading somewhere the quote "She walks amongst us but she is not one of us". That pretty much has always summed up my life. I had friends but rarely was I identified as someone's "best friend". At work I am excluded from the office click. I never felt like I belonged anywhere truly. There is even a part of my low self esteem in all of this. There was nothing cute or exciting about me to name myself. I just am. I had been wanting to change my name for awhile but as I only wanted to do it once I had to be sure I was ready and it was something that said a lot about me. About who I am and who I want to be. Then I wrote a blog yesterday and there it was. I had renamed myself without even thinking about it. Then one of Speeps pointed it out and she was right. The name fit exactly what I want to say about myself and I realized I do have a place. I only don't belong because I allow myself to feel that way. If people don't like me, that is ok. It is their loss. It is hard to detach myself from people that way but as someone who was abused I have to do it. Period. I need to do what makes me happy. I don't have to wait to reach a number on a scale to be something or feel fulfilled. I am living healthy now and that is something I want to tell the world about.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KKINNEA 8/18/2011 11:54AM

    Indeed! You belong to us for sure!

Report Inappropriate Comment
AMOHAME2 8/18/2011 11:06AM

    I was wondering why you hadn't blogged in a while! Now I know why your blogs weren't popping up on my Google reader!
I love the new name! I keep thinking of changing mine too - right now it's just my generic username, my university ID! I didn't think this whole Spark thing would stick, so I didn't bother trying to get creative when I opened my account. Now I know better, I should really think about it!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DIANNADZ 8/17/2011 3:35PM

    Great new name. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
OJIBWEEQUAY 8/12/2011 2:13PM

    I do love it! Mine translates into Ojibwe woman. Wow so creative eh??? LOL!!! I have a hard time making friends because I really only like a certain type of person! HA! SO most ppl think I am snobby! But not really, I LIKE everyone but choose to share details with people I feel a connection with!! Like you!!! emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/12/2011 2:14:26 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
ROSEWCI 8/12/2011 1:52PM

    emoticon to you! LOVE the name! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
HEALTHYBARB1 8/11/2011 7:06PM

    Hi HealthyAshley....my name on spark is HealthyBarb1 and your blog made me smile!!! I am trying to live my sparkname every day! Smiles Barb

Report Inappropriate Comment
DESERTFLOWER8 8/11/2011 4:44PM

    Dear Healthy Ashley,
It is so hard for me to imagine that you have felt a sense of "non-belonging" for most of your life, (which, btw, I can totally relate to!) Every post of yours that I have ever read, is written by an introspective, intelligent, self confident, ambitious, beautiful woman. I know you are getting married and must very much feel a sense of belonging with your fiance,(if nowhere else), but I can also assure you, that you have a primo place of belonging right here with all of us. I consider you a trailblazer. Blaze on, young beauty... emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DSJB9999 8/11/2011 3:56PM

    I love your new name and so agree with alot of your recent blogs and will use this as my thought for the day - Healthy ****. I have had a few bad choices today and don't feel 'healthy' so tomorrow has to be healthy Donna x

emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SEESTARS 8/11/2011 3:34PM

    Love the new name. So glad you made the change.

Report Inappropriate Comment
LISAWASHERE 8/11/2011 3:33PM

    Nice blog. I totally get it. I'm much the same way.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ROCKMAN6797 8/11/2011 2:17PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAMAPERRY 8/11/2011 1:24PM

    Love it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
IRISHBEANERGAL 8/11/2011 11:42AM

    Love the new name and the new attitude that comes with it... YOU ROCK!

~Irish (aka The Incredible Shrinking Mom)

August Mantra:
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all" ~ Helen Keller

Report Inappropriate Comment
WMMCCRORY 8/11/2011 11:40AM

    I love the new name and your contagious positive attitude!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BEFIT_WITHGUSTO 8/11/2011 11:34AM

    Love it! It's so positive!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MAMADWARF 8/11/2011 11:16AM

    I LIKE IT!

Report Inappropriate Comment
THISYEARSMODEL 8/11/2011 10:47AM

    Good for you, and welcome HEALTHYASHLEY, even though we've "met" before! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ROCKINMOM77 8/11/2011 10:44AM

    I emoticon your new name!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PGNBRI 8/11/2011 10:32AM

    Good For You!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CRAZYDOGLADYBO 8/11/2011 10:31AM

    You go girl!!

I don't have a best friend either, nor do I fit in with the work click.

Report Inappropriate Comment
FINALLYBEINGME 8/11/2011 10:25AM

    I like your new screen name - happy and positive! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PHEFEY 8/11/2011 10:25AM

    Very good and I love the new name!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MSILVER94 8/11/2011 9:59AM

    Good for you!

Report Inappropriate Comment
IMIN2GENES 8/11/2011 9:53AM

    Say it loud and proud! You're awesome my friend. Way to embrace the new and healthy you! I love your new screen name.
Chris


Report Inappropriate Comment
KBEHUNE 8/11/2011 9:41AM

    That is wonderful! As you can see--I am not very creative when it comes to screen names!

Report Inappropriate Comment
IBSHAUN 8/11/2011 9:29AM

    Yell it to the world Ashley! Live your life and enjoy it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
WELLNESSME09 8/11/2011 9:22AM

    Wow, thanks for sharing. Your doing it for you. emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


I missed me

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

I realize this morning that as I struggled and floundered I was missing something. Me. I liked the new Ashley. The person who was taking responsibility for my health and fitness. Who was finding joy in healthy eating. As I got more out of shape again and started to regain I felt desperate and alone but forgot the most important part. I had the control all along. Instead of being scared I was reverting to the old me I had the power to put on the breaks and stop it all. I had created the new Ashley all on my own and she was absolutely obtainable again. Each and every time I would start to have success I would self sabotage. Lose weight and then stop doing the things that go me there. It is like sticking my hand in the fire over and over and thinking I won't get burned.
I was missing that feeling of being healthy. Of the slowly lessening aches and pains. The triumph of feeling strong during strength training or being able to work out harder on the elliptical. Of my clothes feeling looser and looser. The key to all of this was with me all along. It is my choice which person I become and I if I start acting like healthy Ashley I will BE healthy Ashley. It is that easy.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CJANSEN40 8/15/2011 6:02PM

    glad you got yourself back!

Report Inappropriate Comment
THISYEARSMODEL 8/11/2011 10:48AM

    Good for you! Congrats, and way to go!!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
IMIN2GENES 8/11/2011 9:49AM

    Great attitude! That is such a true sentiment. We have the power within us. Go for it! You can totally do it!
Chris

Report Inappropriate Comment
MADEMCHE 8/11/2011 7:41AM

    You can do this! So proud of you. Love and Hugs!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KATHLOW 8/11/2011 5:31AM

    I know what you mean! Good for you and welcome back, healthyashley :-)

Report Inappropriate Comment
OJIBWEEQUAY 8/10/2011 9:30PM

    This is such a wonderful realization!! I feel the same way! I have been lying to myself(and tracker) that I have eating normally! I "forget" to add the peanut butter and jam spoonfuls I have making the hubbys lunch at night! Then I feel plain awful! I like feeling pride and accomplishment in a healthy day! We sooooo got this!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BADASSBLONDIE 8/10/2011 5:50PM

    YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PELESJEWEL 8/10/2011 5:17PM

    Perfect frame of mind! Hello Healthy Ashley! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHICAT63 8/10/2011 2:36PM

    Love the new sparks name and all it entails ! Way to go.


Report Inappropriate Comment
WMMCCRORY 8/10/2011 2:15PM

    Thanks Ashley, I really needed this today. Of course you write your blogs for yourself, but the last few blogs really feel like you have wrote them specifically for me. I haven't been honest with myself for quite a while now. I was close to 20 lbs lost and I gained back about 7 of those pounds because I went right back to the way I was before. I stopped caring what my food was made with, started eating out A LOT again, and drinking soda, and eating way too much, etc. but I couldn't bring myself to update my weight ticker. I was that person you blogged about the other day...Well, after your blog I updated my ticker and reset my goals. This week I started logging some of the food I have been eating again and starting this whole process all over. I am going to take my current measurements before I leave for camping, instead of waiting til I get back down to my previous measurements again. And up camping, I am going to go hiking and walking around a lot to get in some fitness that I have been really slacking on and enjoy the beautiful mountains. Anyway, sorry to make this so long but I wanted to say thanks for blogging about your journey because it helps others, life myself, more than you know. And thanks for making me realize that I miss me.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHANGINGSAM 8/10/2011 2:08PM

    Love it! Do it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PHEFEY 8/10/2011 1:58PM

    sounds like great motivation to me! get it girl!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ATINYDANCER 8/10/2011 1:49PM

    Yay I love it! I know just what you mean. Go YOU! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ROCKMAN6797 8/10/2011 1:49PM

    Nice!
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHEILA1505 8/10/2011 1:44PM

    I do like your new name!!!
It's great - congratulations on such a good choice :D

Report Inappropriate Comment
KELCEE75 8/10/2011 1:25PM

    Awesome! Thank you so much for this!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAMAPERRY 8/10/2011 1:22PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CRAZYDOGLADYBO 8/10/2011 1:07PM

    WooHoo! That is positive and wonderfully stated!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANGELOO29 8/10/2011 12:10PM

    Took the words out of my mouth!! You WILL be you again!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ECONLADY 8/10/2011 11:51AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KJDOESLIFE 8/10/2011 11:48AM

    Yeah, I know how that feels. Even just one day of better eating or one good workout brings it back into focus for me. Some times the months just seem to drag on and it feels like we've been doing this forever, so it's tempting to slack off a little. And then you feel like crap after doing it and have that "something's missing" feeling. But we CAN keep going because we are WORTH it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
COOKWITHME65 8/10/2011 11:46AM

    You are a strong woman Ashley. You know what works for you and kick things in to gear when you feel the need to. You are such an inspiration. Showing us that not every thing is perfect but we are all able to attain our goals with a little realization and hard work. Because we are worth it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BILLIEK17 8/10/2011 11:42AM

    Iím right there with you! Thank you for the reminder that WE are the ones in control! Iím rooting for us both!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BNSUHAS 8/10/2011 11:37AM

    What a powerful realization! Congratulations!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KKINNEA 8/10/2011 11:17AM

    Might be time to change your Spark handle to HEALTHYASHLEY!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ROCKINMOM77 8/10/2011 11:01AM

    emoticon Keep that hand out of the fire!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANNE7X7 8/10/2011 11:00AM

    AWESOME! You have the strength and the power to take your life wherever you want! I know it may not mean much from a stranger on the Internet, but it's true: I believe in you :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEVILICI0US 8/10/2011 10:57AM

    I am glad that you found your way back to exactly where it is that "you" want to be. Trust me, I go back and forth more then I care to admit and am still looking for that balance. It is not easy, but simple as someone else said, best way I have seen to put it yet. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARATHONBOUND 8/10/2011 10:48AM

    Yes it is, you can and will do this! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PISCIDS 8/10/2011 10:47AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SKYEPHOENIX 8/10/2011 10:43AM

    Go Ashley!

I've noticed that, from time to time, focus in one's life can shift to something else (understandably). But it's like we forget all the good stuff if the focus is taken away for too long...and it's great when we get some kind of reminder of those things we used to actually LIKE about ourselves and our journey to that point.

:)

Report Inappropriate Comment
PGNBRI 8/10/2011 10:41AM

    I'm not sure I'd agree that its that *easy* but its definitely that simple! Sometimes the simplest things can be challenging, but certaingly worth it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
IBSHAUN 8/10/2011 10:39AM

    Smile -- yes, you do have the power and the key is you. It's a good day when we realize we hold our own keys. Have a wonderful day Ashley!

Report Inappropriate Comment


Negativity and food

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

I never understood people's adverse reactions to food as a child. I ate what I wanted and never had a filter of what was too much. Luckily I was very active so I maintained a healthy weight. Then after my accident I gained an enormous amount of weight very quickly. It was traumatizing and so began my lifetime of good food, bad food. Even today, as I know there needs to be no such label I struggle with this feeling. The newest negative association I have is being full is bad. I am not talking stuffed to gills, made myself sick which used to be an occurrence at every single meal. I mean just being full at a normal level. The second I feel full I get upset. I have equated eating any food with not being able to lose weight. This is a dangerous slope. Obsessive by nature I have an inability to self regulate and eat at a normal level naturally. It is something I have to be conscious of at every single meal, snack, all day etc.
Today I had a higher calorie breakfast than normal so I was determined to eat a smaller lunch. I had my salad and added 2 hard boiled eggs on the top. 245 calories in total. When I finished I definitely was full but knew realistically it was a correct portion and I didn't overdue it. That wasn't enough to keep me from being upset all afternoon. That combined with the great popcorn debacle and it left me feeling pretty worthless. I let myself equate my personal value with what I ate today.
That is a very sad thing. I can psycho analyze myself like nobodies business. I know what is right and what is wrong. Everything in moderation etc but I still felt that way. It frustrates me but it made me realize that this is a battle I always will have and that by attacking it head on and talking myself through it I will always be able to beat it. So when you start the negative associates remember. There is nothing about food that is good or bad enough to change your value as a human being. It is all in how we react to our own negative thoughts and self doubt. We all can beat this.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CJANSEN40 8/14/2011 11:56PM

    The self talk is the hardest part. Sounds like you have a good start on fixing it keep up the good work

Report Inappropriate Comment
MSANITAL 8/11/2011 9:04PM

    great blog, food is not the bad guy nor are we and once we get in a good place with it then we will be able to deal.
Thanks for posting

Report Inappropriate Comment
BADASSBLONDIE 8/10/2011 5:25PM

    I swear, you're in my freaking thoughts.

Yesterday, I was having a LOT of negative self-talk. A problem I had thought I had mostly conquered. And I had a lot of these same issues you speak of. *hugshard* Thank you for sharing this. It's good to know I'm not alone.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SLFRISBEY 8/10/2011 7:55AM

    "There is nothing about food that is good or bad enough to change your value as a human being."

I love this! Thank you!

Report Inappropriate Comment
_COSMOPAULATAN_ 8/10/2011 7:47AM

    I always appreciate your viewpoint. 245 calories for a salad is amazing... what the heck did you put on there? For me, when the negativity hits, I usually just go overboard until the feelings go away... damn feelings! I miss you Ash. Sorry I haven't been a better support to you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KATHLOW 8/10/2011 3:54AM

    This is hard for me too, mainly because of diet after diet after diet.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAMAPERRY 8/10/2011 12:16AM

    Amen to what you realized. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SYZYGY922 8/9/2011 11:09PM

    I struggle with this, too, mostly because of my upbringing.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PGNBRI 8/9/2011 10:22PM

    Not equating your self-worth with what you put in your mouth has been a difficult lesson for me. But I'm learning it! We *can* do this!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LITTLEONEJLC 8/9/2011 9:46PM

    "There is nothing about food that is good or bad enough to change your value as a human being." I absolutely love this, Ashley!! Thank you!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JENBELLE13 8/9/2011 7:47PM

    I think you read my mind. I go through the whole personal fight in my mind over the feeling verse the reality all the time. As hard as it is you've got to believe the numbers. Just keep reminding yourself of what you've accomplished and you will continue to lose if you are within your calories. Keep in mind also that drinking water and eating high fiber foods they will make you feel full faster too.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ECONLADY 8/9/2011 6:27PM

    Thanks for sharing your feelings.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CRAZYDOGLADYBO 8/9/2011 5:24PM

    I like that you talk to yourself about the issue and that it does help resolve the problem. As one obsessive to another, we have to learn what works for ourselves, everyone is different.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SCAZARES39 8/9/2011 5:24PM

    You are right you can beat this! One step at a time girly, one step at a time!

Report Inappropriate Comment
-AIMIE- 8/9/2011 5:22PM

    I think you are one of those "all or nothing" personalities... I know because that's how I am! You just have to think of the progress you have made and give yourself a little wiggle room because in life you need some room for error! I think of it like this...you ate more calories in popcorn without realizing it. How many times before your mindful eating did you knowingly eat a lot of calories in junk food? I know just a month ago, I knew exactly how many calories were in a box of little debbie brownies... and I still ate the entire box in one day, now that is something to get worried over! And bottom line you already said "We can beat it!" And yes, I do believe we can :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
GIRANIMAL 8/9/2011 5:18PM

    Thanks for sharing this, Ashley.

My problem lately remains perception -- about how much fat is still on my body and how much food is necessary/normal.

When I was struggling through a cleanse/fast to try to unearth my food sensitivities, I was super hungry for a few days. My calorie range had to be around 1,000 or less very briefly. As I started reintroducing foods, I was hovering around 1200-1300 on good days. When I started to go over this -- and feel an appropriate fullness -- I started to panic for awhile that I was "overdoing it" and the 10 pounds of inflammation/sugar weight I dropped would come back.

I am back up to a respectable 1400 or more, and I am holding steady. But even still, I feel so guilty for sometimes being hungry at night! As if I am doing something wrong.

I am discovering more and more that the brain needs just as much training through this journey as the body does.

Report Inappropriate Comment
HEALTHYASHLEY 8/9/2011 5:11PM

    Thank you for the support. I am aware of food journals and how useful they can be for some people. It doesn't seem to help me unfortunately.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BLACKROSE_222 8/9/2011 5:03PM

    One of the hardest things to learn in this cycle and lifestyle change is that food is fuel. You can't run a car with no gas, or even crappy gas. Your body will tell you when it needs to be 'topped up' - and it can be a struggle to figure out when to listen.

One thing that some people find helpful is to keep a food journal - more so focusing on WHY you are eating, then WHAT you are eating. Please check out this Spark Article - you might find it helpful.

http://www.sparkpeo
ple.com/resource/nutrition_arti
cles.asp?id=1660

Congrats on your success so far - you can do this

Report Inappropriate Comment


Following through

Sunday, August 07, 2011

I am proud of myself for setting goals and sticking with all of them this week. Today starts my third week of working out consistently. I even went on Friday night because I knew we were going out to dinner and I wanted to make sure I got a workout in. Plus when I exercise I tend to not be as hungry or want alcohol which is a good side effect so I would be even less inclined to overeat. I was so inspired after the gym I ran to the store and got dinner so we could grill on the porch instead of going out. We were celebrating the wedding being a year away and had some champagne which I adore.
This was a good week. I can tell by my clothes fitting better already that I am getting smaller. A few weeks back I had purchased some new underwear and was pretty upset when I got home and they were so snug they gave me a muffin top. Yesterday they fit perfectly. I lost 2 pounds as well which is great but I am more excited because I know it is more because I built a lot of muscle. One thing I do love about myself is I build muscle mass easily without bulking up. I just get toned and after all the things I have that make my life difficult, big flat feet, tall, no clothes fit. It is about time I have a benefit from my body that I can be proud of!!! emoticon
The most exciting part of all of this is I followed through. I made promises to myself and I accomplished all of them and felt balanced. That is what this is about. A life I can maintain and be proud of myself.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CJANSEN40 8/12/2011 2:38PM

    very proud of you keep up the good work!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BADASSBLONDIE 8/9/2011 6:46PM

    I'm so proud of you! That's absolutely fantastic!!! :D

Report Inappropriate Comment
RACINGSLUG 8/9/2011 12:36PM

    I am proud of you too! Your determination and consistency is a continued inspiration!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CSDOWNING 8/8/2011 6:08PM

    We should start a Spark Team for tall, big-footed women!
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARATHONBOUND 8/8/2011 3:38PM

    That's great Ashley! I love it when all the positive changes you make start paying off..keep it up, you're awesome!!

Amanda

Report Inappropriate Comment
PELESJEWEL 8/8/2011 1:44PM

    Awesome job on the consistency, lost, & feeling proud about you!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PHEFEY 8/8/2011 1:04PM

    great job!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
IBSHAUN 8/8/2011 11:03AM

    :) Yay for underwear that fit! and I agree with carilouie - there is nothing like 'em to tell us how we are *really* doing...

Report Inappropriate Comment
CARMINACG 8/8/2011 10:02AM

    So wonderful! Keep up the awesome work pretty lady! :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
CARILOUIE 8/8/2011 9:57AM

    There's nothing like underwear to tell us how we're *really* doing on our journey.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ME_FIRST 8/8/2011 8:24AM

    You have a lot to be proud of Ashley. Keep going!!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
OJIBWEEQUAY 8/8/2011 8:23AM

    Here is to balanced living! From one tall big footed girl to another! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 8/8/2011 7:17AM

    That's so great! Ashley's back!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KATHLOW 8/8/2011 3:00AM

    great going!

Report Inappropriate Comment
HANNAH_CALM 8/8/2011 1:48AM

    Fantastic!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ECONLADY 8/8/2011 1:10AM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
FINALLYBEINGME 8/8/2011 12:27AM

    I think promises kept to yourself are the most important kind. emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DIVA14K 8/7/2011 10:47PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PGNBRI 8/7/2011 10:42PM

    Good for you!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAMAPERRY 8/7/2011 9:37PM

    Way to go, girl!! Keep it up! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Respecting and appreciating myself

Thursday, August 04, 2011

Several months back I remember there were a few days where there was a lot of debate about "ticker honesty". Whether it mattered and how accurately people kept it etc. I remember one woman's comment which has bothered me since that time because I thought it was so self defeating and sad. She stated "I have been 9 pounds heavier for months but I just can't bring myself to update it because I don't want anyone congratulating me on losing pounds that I never should have gained in the first place and I don't deserve to be congratulated on". I didn't comment on her statement because I could see how sad she was and didn't want to call her out and upset her but it made me sad for her.
There is NO shame in struggling. There is NO reason you don't deserve support for every pound you lose, regardless of how many times you have done it before. What it comes down to is respecting and loving yourself enough to feel proud of each and every victory. Show me one person on here that has lost every pound they ever gained and never regained an ounce and I will say either they are a miracle or a liar. There is no such thing as perfect and to hold ourselves to some ridiculous standard is absurd. Especially to not offend or please other people. If someone is unable to offer you support when you are making a genuine effort (this does not include people who never lose any weight and make constant excuses for why they don't when really it is that they are not trying at all) than they are not a good friend. Period. The most important part is being a good friend to yourself. Yesterday my boss sent me a string of emails that upset me because I felt attacked. Eventually it was resolved and she apologized but before she did I ate 2 cookies. I spent the rest of the afternoon feeling sick over it and then I stopped myself and thought "would I beat my friend up emotionally over 2 cookies?" Um, no that is silly. So why I am I doing it to me? I tracked them. I was still within range for the day and I worked out. Life is messy and imperfect. It is ok. Treating myself with respect and love is how I will continue to be successful. How I will not slip back into a life of low self-esteem and self loathing. Push out the shame and negativity and you will be surprised how much easier this gets. Be honest with yourself, make a plan and execute it. It will work and you will be happier. I promise.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BADASSBLONDIE 8/10/2011 5:09PM

    Thank you.

I feel like that always ends up being my comment on your blogs, but how is it that you always know the perfect thing I need to hear, huh? Get out of my head! :P

Report Inappropriate Comment
BECKYB73 8/8/2011 4:11PM

    I LIKE this. As much as I hate moving my ticker "the wrong way", I realize how important it is to do. Every loss, even if it's a repeat is worth acknowledging!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEENSTER1 8/5/2011 10:18AM

    emoticon Be honest with yourself, very important. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GRACEISENUF 8/4/2011 10:56PM

    Been right where you decribed and it's taken me a long time to accept myself and love myself right where I am at.

Great message Ashley.

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PELESJEWEL 8/4/2011 8:56PM

    Beautiful & Timely! Thank You for sharing this vibe!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PINK-PEONY 8/4/2011 8:47PM

    You are so right, it takes work to make change and words to warm the air. Let's keep making changes, lady!

Melissa

Report Inappropriate Comment
SYZYGY922 8/4/2011 2:16PM

    Great post. This is something I'm working on. If I wouldn't say something to my best friend (or even my worst enemy!) to her face, then why am I saying this stuff to myself? It's a struggle.

My ticker was inaccurate for a long time, mostly because I was inactive. I got down to 198 and then didn't change it until I gained a few pounds. Now my ticker is actually high because I lost weight but it's not weigh-in day yet! I feel almost like it's lying to put my weight loss on early.

I'm a dork!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
OJIBWEEQUAY 8/4/2011 1:53PM

    I tried to blame not pooping for my 2 pds! Ummm yeah a month later the 2 pds was obviously not poop emoticon I reluctantly changed the tracker! But when I lose it I will scream it loud and proud! Ha! Sorry for the TMI emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NINNY165 8/4/2011 11:48AM

    emoticonI needed that...I will remember to loving to myself along this process & to be my own best friend & cheerleader as well. I am not where I want to be but nor I am I where I was. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
RIGBY31 8/4/2011 11:48AM

    "Push out the shame and negativity"... need to read that because it gets me nowhere. Thanks.

Report Inappropriate Comment
WORTHEYMOM 8/4/2011 11:48AM

    LOVE IT - Thank you!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NETTIEDEE 8/4/2011 11:33AM

    :-)

Report Inappropriate Comment
PGNBRI 8/4/2011 10:48AM

    Very well said.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BNSUHAS 8/4/2011 10:29AM

    Well said! I really needed to hear this today. My scale has been up for a couple of weeks and I have really abused myself over it. You are right, life is messy and imperfect. You're a rockstar!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CRAZYDOGLADYBO 8/4/2011 10:24AM

    Well said Ashley. I too know some people that are not trying at all.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ECONLADY 8/4/2011 10:22AM

    Nicely said.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PHEFEY 8/4/2011 9:58AM

    You are absolutely right, I wouldn't beat up a friend for missing a run cause they were tired, or eating a cookie her dad made, why beat myself up for that?
Great blog, very thought provoking. Thanks!

Report Inappropriate Comment
HEALTHYASHLEY 8/4/2011 9:53AM

    There are many people making excuses and not trying. That is the reality. You clearly have a medical exception but those are rare. I know plenty of people who eat horribly, don't work out, make excuses and don't try. That was clearly stated. They are not trying and this statement would clearly not apply to you because you are trying.

Comment edited on: 8/4/2011 9:58:19 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 8/4/2011 9:35AM

    I agree. There is a ticker tape parade when you lose it, but an awful feeling of shame if you gain some back. Why do we let ourselves feel that way? Like you said, you wouldn't berate a friend who had a cookie, why do we get upset if we eat a cookie? We are our own worst enemy. You've done great things Ash, and I know you'll keep going and and reach your goal. *HUGS*

Report Inappropriate Comment
MAMABEARLEHMAN 8/4/2011 9:34AM

    Wow. I love this blog entry. This is exactly what I needed to hear and I totally agree. Thanks for being a good spark friend and sharing your thoughts and experiences with us.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
EARTHMOTHR 8/4/2011 9:30AM

    Most of what you say here I agree with 100%, except for your exception about people who never lose any weight and really they are not trying at all. Sometimes they are trying. I have faithfully measured, weighed, tracked and exercised. I watch my water consumption. And yet, in the last 3 months, I have managed to GAIN seven pounds. I am so frustrated and unhappy. I don't know what else to DO. I am diabetic, and my doctor says my fluctuations in blood sugar (I'm having a lot of crashes) is causing the problem. I don't know what to believe. But be careful of accusing people of not trying at all. You can't get into their minds or their skin. I am feeling a lot of self-loathing right now, and self-doubt, so I guess that comment just got to me.

Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 Last Page