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Amazing Doctor Visit and Good Day!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Saturday's are always busy for me and my honey. It is our only day off together and there is so much to do! This morning started with a visit to the doctor who hadn't seen me in a year. When she saw how much weight I had lost she was very excited for me and noted that when she had seen me last she had recommended weight loss and was thrilled to see I had kept at it and we chatted about sparkpeople. Last year at that time my blood pressure was 140/90 and borderline hypertension. This year it was 110/64!!!! No more blood pressure risk! She was thrilled but I was ecstatic! This is just one of the amazing non-scale I have experienced along the way. I have to admit, when my blood pressure was so high back then it scared me. It scared me a lot and it was enough to really motivate me. I was 32 and was close to needing medication. I felt like I was old and out of shape and I knew that I was at a serious risk. There was no way I could have a baby in that state. I was at risk for strokes and blood clots and I was DOING TO MYSELF. I alone was to blame. Every time I get affirmations of why I am doing this like seeing my vitals go back to normal it makes that fire inside bigger. You can have these kinds of moments too. Just keep plugging away, even when it gets hard. Those are the moments that matter the most!
After getting the great news we went healthy food shopping. Yeah baked miso salmon and homemade vietnamese spring rolls for dinner (like a salad all rolled up). Walked around Target for a bit and then went to the gym to workout. I love when he goes with me. The best part is I kicked his butt on the elliptical. I didn't point it out to him because I didn't want to make it about competition but I was still proud of myself. He is in much better shape than me. Then we both did our own strength training and now we are waiting for the salmon to cook and then have a nice dinner and my 1 glass of wine a week! MMM healthy food and wine. Have a great weekend friends.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NUTS4NUTELLA 3/23/2011 10:06AM

    That is such great news!!! emoticon The description of your dinner is making me salivate by the way.

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4EVERADONEGIRL 3/21/2011 7:06PM

    Absolutely emoticon!!!!

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AGENTNER 3/21/2011 4:43PM

    THAT is AMAZING NEWS!!!! way to go on lowering the BP! It is also one of my own personal goals! I had it checked when I went to the lady doc 2 weeks ago and mine was also in the normal range!!!!! IT IS a GREAT FEELING to know you are taking care of your body and treating it right! ESPECIALLY when you start seeing results! I haven't seen many physical results yet, but my butt does look perkier!!! I just can't wait for my gut to go away :) KEEP IT UP! you are doing fabulous!

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COOKWITHME65 3/21/2011 12:29PM

    Sounds like you had a great day.

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KATHLOW 3/21/2011 9:58AM

    That is such good news. You really have changed your life and you are doing this yourself too!

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JESSIEJUICE 3/21/2011 12:33AM

    emoticon Sounds like a red letter day!

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REMEMBER2BME 3/20/2011 5:25PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
Outstanding job! You took control over your health and the Doc showed you just how great you are doing. Congrats!!!

Great job with the work out too. Sounds like a wonderful Saturday!

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GINA180847 3/20/2011 4:50PM

    I know this should be about you but you made my day. I am just so happy for you. The BP issue is huge and how nice to have a Dr. give you compliments like that. Yahoo!!!

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KAZ814 3/20/2011 4:35PM

    Congratulations! That is awesome about the BP! I'm 31 and had to go ON medicine for my bp. It was really a wake-up call, so good for you coming to that conclusion BEFORE you went on the meds!

And your dinner sounds yummy!

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SLIMTHICK2 3/20/2011 3:34PM

    Congrats on the blood pressure reading, do enjoy the weekend.

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DUSTYGIRL25 3/20/2011 2:55PM

    Wonderful Ashley! Having your Dr. confirm your healthy is the best! And the ultimate best is that you did it yourself!
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MARLARELLA 3/20/2011 2:32PM

    That is so fantastic!!!! You are such an inspiration to me!

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PELESJEWEL 3/20/2011 10:26AM

    Fantastic news from the MD!!! What an awesome day! Miso salmon rocks - was my mom's favorite!! She also loved Ahi Nitsuke, very homey, comforting dish using tuna. I am so thrilled with your positivity & fire. Next milestone: 100 lbs!

Have a chart topping Sunday!

Comment edited on: 3/20/2011 10:27:58 AM

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LISAINMS 3/20/2011 10:10AM

    emoticon
Healthy living will do that to you! Your BP is a testament to your efforts. WTG!!

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RIGBY31 3/20/2011 9:30AM

    It's totally working... happy for you!

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MIZCATHI 3/20/2011 8:28AM

    Great going at your Dr's visit, that is very exciting and I bet a huge relief. Don't you just love busy days now where you can keep up and do everything you want to do?

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SKINNYINMYHEAD 3/20/2011 8:20AM

    congrats on the non-scale victory!

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MADEMCHE 3/20/2011 8:16AM

    Sounds wonderful Ash, so happy for you!

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CHICAT63 3/20/2011 7:00AM

    Woohoo, for an another non-scale victory. This one is AWESOME, so very happy for you. Miso salmon dinner sounds delish....have a great day today.

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TISHA80 3/20/2011 5:25AM

    emoticon That's really great! Congrats on such a big drop in your blood pressure! emoticon on your workout and healthy eating! Spring rolls sound really good. I've never made them at home. I'll have to try that sometime.

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RAINBOWCHOC 3/20/2011 4:50AM

    well done! glad that you have a supportive doctor.
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KAMAPERRY 3/20/2011 1:57AM

    Way to go, soooooooooo happy for you! emoticon

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GENINTHENOW 3/20/2011 1:45AM

    Congrats lady! You deserve it! Sounds like you had a wonderful day emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Hope the rest of your weekend is just as great!

G. :)

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ECONLADY 3/20/2011 1:11AM

    emoticon

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TADTURC 3/19/2011 11:43PM

    How exciting. Im waiting for my BP to be normal and be off of BP med's. Ive been on for 2.5yrs. WAY to young. Ill get there though.

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HOPE2011 3/19/2011 11:28PM

    emoticon

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CMULL328 3/19/2011 11:05PM

    That is awesome!!!! I hope my dr has just as good news for me when I see her this week. 4 months ago I was on the verge of diabetes and am testing daily. I've lost nearly 30lb since then but she still wanted to see me after having a follow up round of blood work done!

So very happy for you! Keep it up!

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RUNNERGIRL60 3/19/2011 10:28PM

    Congrats Ashley!!!! Those non scale moments are worth so much and mean so much!!! Hope you two had a great dinner and eve. You need to celebrate! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Michelle

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TERRYT55 3/19/2011 10:04PM

    What great news, Ashley.......for everything from the doctor's visit to your yummy dinner!

15 months ago my blood sugar was entering diabetic range, my cholesterol was over 200 and my BP was getting high. Six months later everything is normal, especially my sugar. My a1c is now in the normal range. There is nothing like a non scale victory or two!

Congrats!

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FRUITYFUL 3/19/2011 9:27PM

    Wow, you've had a GREAT day! Congrats on getting the blood pressure down. Seeing the true health benefits of your healthy lifestyle is wonderful and gives you even more motivation. Sounds like the perfect spark day to me! Keep up the great work!

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1KKATT 3/19/2011 9:25PM

    How very wonderful to come away from the drs office feeling so good about yourself and your accomplishments! :) Way to go!

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OJIBWEEQUAY 3/19/2011 9:04PM

    yum wine!

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MKT-PLAN 3/19/2011 8:57PM

    Awesome and congrats on the blood pressure and impressing your doctor with your weight loss. You are rocking it! Have a great week!

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IBSHAUN 3/19/2011 8:42PM

    What a great day and a great doc's appointment! WAY TO GO on your success this year. Feels good doesn't it? It must have felt great to have your doc's approval, too. You are doing this and it's great! Enjoy that glass of wine. emoticon

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ROCKMAN6797 3/19/2011 8:40PM

    Awesome news!
Congratulations!
I, too, experienced an "amazing non-scale" event a few weeks ago. My doctor released me from my last diabetes medicine. My last two a1c readings were normal. I literally floated out of the office that day!
Once again, I am so happy for you! Keep on doing what you are doing because obviously it is working!

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REDHEADMOM2U 3/19/2011 8:34PM

    Great day!

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DIVA14K 3/19/2011 8:30PM

    I'm glad you got your blood pressure under control. Sounds like you had a great day. You must feel very pleased with yourself. Keep up the great work.

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RUNWITHMICHELE 3/19/2011 8:29PM

    Amazing as always! It is so nice to see those healthy changes are taking effect on other aspects of your life- and nice job exercising on a Saturday- sheesh, I have trouble moving on the weekend.

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AARONSGIRL420 3/19/2011 8:26PM

    Sounds like a perfect day with your huni and awesome job on the doc visit. Isn't it great to have lovely days like these?

:)

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Score: Gym 1 Laziness/Bad Day 0

Thursday, March 17, 2011

This week has been pretty soul sucking and since I don't eat my stress away anymore it tends to make me tired. As in I want to go home directly from work and sleep until tomorrow kind of tired. Today I decided how to handle the ugliness of my work situation by A. actively looking for a new job and B. realizing that my boss is miserable and there is nothing I can do to change that situation so I am going to continue to be the person that I am until I find said new job. That person is polite, does her work, and behaves in the professional manner that I always do. Yes, I can get outraged and I often do but the reality is I am not going to sink to her miserable level. People who have also been abused in the past understand that we tend to try and people please to try to make anyone in our lives who reminds us of that person stop. FYI it doesn't work. My girl MADEMACHE helped me see that today. Making excuses for my work situation and working harder is only enabling a person who is abusing her employees. Removing myself from this situation is the only option. That being said I have to cope until that happens.
When I left work today I just wanted to go home and lay down. Seriously. I had every intention of skipping the gym. Like I did yesterday. As I was driving home I hit that fork in the road where I either turn towards the gym or continue a few feet to my house. I just couldn't let myself go home. Letting myself get out of shape is not going to solve my problems and I know that if I start to lose muscle it will really affect my self esteem in a bad way. So I went. I stopped making excuses and I went and I worked out hard and I am SO happy I did. The elliptical today was like therapy. Usually I listen to music and get a bit bored but today I was so caught up in my own thoughts about everything and the global crisis on the news that before I knew it I had torn up 5K in around 32 minutes. Go Ashley, It's your birthday. (no not really and if you don't get the pop culture reference ask me lol but don't send me any birthday goodies emoticon). It was exactly what I needed to get out of my own head and just get back in touch with that primal feeling you get from physical exertion. So if you making excuses this week to not eat right or not workout because you are stressed think of me and STOP IT. No problem is worth sliding back into old habits.
I have to address the not stress eating thing here too. It is weird. It feels weird to not have this desire anymore. I wish I could tell you what specifically it was that caused it and if I ever figure it out I will enlighten you. It just isn't there anymore. The desire to binge isn't there anymore. There is something inside me that whenever I think I want to eat it just talks me down. Something to the effect of "Ashley, you aren't even hungry and you know that will make you feel gross. So stop it." The desire to get healthier overrides the desire to eat. You can to this point too. The more you are able to cope in other ways the more it will become habit. You can do this too. Make it happen my friends.

Oh yeah and even though I hate St. Patty's Day since all of you showed me so much love today. Happy St. Patty's Day! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CORDIA72 3/22/2011 8:07PM

    Amen! Thanks for the talking to, Ashley. We all are stressed in some way but I'm right there with saying that I've lost the desire to binge to take care of my problems or stress. I agree it's just not there anymore and I think that it comes from taking the long way to weight loss and learning about what our bodies actually need as opposed to what we've been feeding them over the years. I swear that I every time I look at a box of doughnuts, a bag of cheetos, or a coke I shake my head and wonder why I used to punish my body by eating large amounts of all of the above until I was so stupid with gorging that I couldn't do anything else except go to sleep. No more, no way, no how. Down with bingeing!!!

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EMSJOURNEY 3/22/2011 11:56AM

    5k in 32 minutes!!! holy hell woman! you rock! =)

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DGFOWLER 3/19/2011 9:37AM

    You have been one of the most motivating people I have run across here on SP. You go get that new job, You continue to go to the left instead of right to home and more than that, continue to believe in yourself. emoticon Donna

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MADZOE 3/19/2011 1:38AM

    Way to go! I know exactly what you mean. Today was the day from hell and then a co-worker brought in 310 calorie donuts that looked fantastic, but I avoided them all day and stuck to my plan. Whew.

Hope you find a job you can be happy at soon.


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NUTS4NUTELLA 3/18/2011 11:52PM

    emoticon Once again, your awesomeness prevails!

Comment edited on: 3/18/2011 11:52:01 PM

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CHICKENCHASER78 3/18/2011 9:05PM

    Good for you heading to the gym. I almost didn't work out today due to stress and it took me a few minutes to get into it but once I did I felt so much better for it. Someone once told me the days you don't feel like working out are the days you need it the most. So true!

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GINA180847 3/18/2011 7:49PM

    Good for you Ashley, what a very grown up way to think and handle your situation. I am 63 and can sometimes act about 5, but usually sanity prevails and I get right with the program. These are one of those times I think of the book " I never promised you a rose garden". Yes even though you and I always deserve flowers and good things that doesn't mean we get them. I am just glad for you that your boyfriend is such a great guy so that your home life doesn't suck. How cool that you invested in your health instead of nonhealth when the crap hit the wall!!

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BROCCO5 3/18/2011 3:46PM

    This blog really resonated with me.

"Letting myself get out of shape is not going to solve my problems"

I wish I understood this.... realllly understood this years ago. All those years of trying to eat away my problems (because that's essentially what I was doing!) didn't solve any of them. It made them worse.

Thank you Ashley, for a well-thought-out, excellent blog.

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ROCKMAN6797 3/18/2011 2:25PM

    This is one of your better blogs Ashley. It is quite evident that you have had epiphanies with regards to your work situation AND the role of exercise in your new healthy way of living. I am so happy for you! I am so excited to see what the future holds for you and look forward to reading about it.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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F1AMEDIVA 3/18/2011 1:32PM

    Awesome Ashley! I do the same thing and I think it just becomes an automatic habit that you don't look to food for comfort because you know it's temporary and that exercise can make you feel better short term and also feel better about yourself. I have faith that you will find the best job for you and will be able to chalk this job up to a learning experience soon. emoticon

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MARLARELLA 3/18/2011 1:22PM

    I hope you find a new job really quickly!!!

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RIGBY31 3/18/2011 11:57AM

    Loved your blog, and when you got to the part talking yourself down from emotional eating, I totally have the same conversation... " you know how yucky you'll feel afterwards". I don't know when it happened for me, but wow, what a miracle!

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SLFRISBEY 3/18/2011 9:36AM

    that's my plan for tonight also, to bust through this stress and sleep blissfully and hopefully late! :)

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REMEMBER2BME 3/18/2011 7:40AM

    I agree 100%. I was getting quite stressed and crabby yesterday and just had to jump on the treadmill in order to feel better. Even an easy short run can do wonders for me.

Keep up the positive attitude. You took control by going to the gym rather than bed to sleep.
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THEWEIGHTSOVER 3/18/2011 7:34AM

    what a wonderful attitude. I think its amazing that you have conquered the emotional eating. "They" say that everytime you don't give in to an urge to eat, it gets easier the next time. You must have just not given in so many times that your brain has actually changed and no longer uses those old neural pathways to trigger a binge. You give me hope!!! Thanks for sharing as always. emoticon

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CHICAT63 3/18/2011 6:54AM

    Ashley, I know very well the situation at work. I have been going through the same motions for almost 3 years, I did let the stress get to me; hence me regaining over 50 pounds that I had previously lost. You have so many other things in life than work, a fiance, your wellness journey, family & friends detach yourself from this person. Like you, I decided enough is enough, it's hard to detach yourself but you gotta do what you gotta do to remain sane *lol* and yeah, way to go Shorty, it's your birthday - so you GO Sista !

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KATHLOW 3/18/2011 5:51AM

    great! I am SO proud of you buddy!

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WILDFIREKRISTIN 3/18/2011 2:01AM

    Thanks for reminding me that everyone has stress and that there are other ways to cope with it. I have never been good at that and have to find ways like you have to deal with it all. I am sorry about your boss, but you have it right..get out ASAP! I had one like that and gained 150 pounds. I was a mess daily and now when I look back it I see I should have left the minute she started her abuse towards me. Crazy was she...and so was I for staying. Good luck to you!

Kristin

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ALOFA0509 3/18/2011 1:21AM

   
Way 2GO sista!! 32mins.. Hoot-Hoot.. It's your birthday fo sure!!! ;)

Stay strong, your gonna get out of this toxic work place soon.

Hugs,
Alofa

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COOKWITHME65 3/18/2011 1:21AM

    Good for you for going to the gym. You are a strong determined woman. Hope you find a new job soon.

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TISHA80 3/18/2011 12:23AM

    emoticon Thanks for the motivation to get off my butt and get my strength exercises done! :)

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ECONLADY 3/17/2011 11:54PM

    You're doing great!

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KAMAPERRY 3/17/2011 11:49PM

    Way to go, I need your drive!

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FRUITYFUL 3/17/2011 10:28PM

    I love the way you're approaching your work situation and how you're handling your stress. Way to go! It's such a healthy way of looking at things and at your boss.

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LUCKYDOGFARM 3/17/2011 9:40PM

    Don't ya just love that new mind set! I celebrate every day like it's my birthday!

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PRIMAVERA_81 3/17/2011 9:18PM

    Go Ashley "its you birthday, we are gonna party like its your birthday" LOL

Nice motivation, especially for me, this week was really tough for me and I really had to get kicked by my boyfriend in the butt to go for my walk earlier and it worked (I worked 18hrs late night), But done and pretty proud.

Comment edited on: 3/17/2011 9:19:28 PM

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ILUVTOTAT 3/17/2011 9:02PM

    Exactly what I did today! I knew exercise would make me feel better, and I worked hard. It helps so much, and it's so worth the kick in the pants I give myself to do it.

Great job!

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CARILOUIE 3/17/2011 8:28PM

    Nice job on getting to the gym!

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PELESJEWEL 3/17/2011 8:19PM

    I wish I no longer ate when I stress out. I'm not there yet, I totally still crave chocolate or chips. Good plan - do your work, but actively look for something new. Cash flow is important, can't jeopardize that.

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MADEMCHE 3/17/2011 8:18PM

    I am so freaking proud of you!!!! Way to go. What an amazing end to a crappy day. You did it bud, you beat it. The crappy boss and the old you that would have just went home and ate. You changed all of that! Wohoo!!! Love you!

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KT-NICHOLS-13 3/17/2011 8:13PM

    Good for you for being proactive.

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IBSHAUN 3/17/2011 8:11PM

    emoticon Yeah - Glad you took that fork in the road and went to the gym! Sorry to hear that your work situation is so miserable - that's hard but you really sound like you have a good mindset now about it all. Don't be like her - at all! You don't want to become her. You will find a new job and they will appreciate you!

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Re-evaluating my weight loss goals

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Onto the happy blog! First I want to say to all of the people who read and commented on my halfway blog. THANK YOU, seriously, THANK YOU. I can't say that enough. You all said the most kind, touching things to me and brought me to tears so many times. I can not express how much your support means to me. How big of a part of my journey it is for me. No matter how bad I feel. No matter who blows me off in my real life. You guys are here for me. I would not have gotten here without you. Sparkpeople is the one factor that is different in all my other weight loss attempts and I truly believe it is the big push to make me successful.
Last night I called my mom to tell her about my blog and we talked about the rest of the weight I want to lose. The plan, how I feel about how much I have lost, etc. I am 1 pound from losing more weight than she did 8 years ago and she is so proud of me. She asked me what my goal number was and it is 2 pounds less than she weighs now and she is 3 inches shorter. She weight trains a lot and weighs 175 pounds. Coincidentally a spark friend brought up the same topic with me. That maybe my goal weight is too low for my frame. I picked 173 because that is the high end of my healthy weight range but I am starting to think that is unrealistic. I had my frame size evaluated and I am large framed based on my bone structure. The closer that I am getting to goal the more I am realizing that this is less about a final number and more about a feeling.
I want to be in good shape and have great muscle tone.
I want to be able to run a 10K.
I want to be able to fit easily into none plus size clothes.
I think I will know it when I get there.
I have decided to raise my minimum weight limit. Yes, it will still be clinically overweight but I have accepted that for me I just don't fit into the medical communities one size fits all guidelines. This journey is so very personal and I can't let someone else decide for me based on a chart what is healthy and what makes me happy.
Don't me wrong. This isn't about staying overweight and making excuses. It is about being healthy for the sake of being healthy and not just fighting myself to reach a specific number. I don't want to lose 160 pounds and feel like I failed because I didn't hit 173. I think that is when people are in danger of quitting and regaining. So, I am changing my ticker tonight and let's see where this goes.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMPLE_TAILOR 3/31/2011 11:56AM

    This is something that too many people fail to realize and just give up because they can't fit within a supposed norm.

Kudos!!!

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_UMAMI_ 3/19/2011 12:25AM

    I think it's much better to set a higher (weight) goal, then re-assess, rather than have an always-out-of-reach goal that may be unrealistic.

I'm 5'10", too. At my lowest, in my 20's I might have been 142, but my average was 150-155. As I got older, it went up. I was 165 when I was your age. (Yeah, I'd take that number now!) Since then, with two kids, I'd be happy in the 170's and with muscles. I don't care so much about the number as much as how I look and feel. I know I'm never going to be waif-thin, but if I'm fit(ter), I can rock some cool clothes and feel WAY better about myself.

Best of luck! And congrats on reaching your halfway (or now---more than halfway) mark!
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SROBERTS82 3/18/2011 6:01PM

    I read once that Tom Cruise is technically 'overweight' for his height, but I don't think anyone would call him fat! I have the same problem as you, I don't think it is possible for me to get where the charts say I should be - but I am a long way from there and not worrying about it yet. I think I'll know the right place when I get there!

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KATHLOW 3/18/2011 5:49AM

    good idea! You'll know your happy weight when you reach it.

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SKINNYINMYHEAD 3/17/2011 7:23PM

    To hit 173 you'd probably have to lose muscle.. and who wants to do that??? so yeah, have a nice tight body that's strong that can do all the things you need/and want it to do.. who cares what the scale says.. i'm 5'11" and my lean mass is 169lbs.. so my trainer and I have settled on about 190 but even that is negotiable.. I think your thinking is healthy.. not excuse making..
Annie

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F1AMEDIVA 3/17/2011 7:22PM

    I totally agree. Being healthy is more about a feeling and nkowing your own self than a number on the scale. When I started spark I was thinking more in terms of the scale, but since I have been on this journey it has become more of how I feel and what I see as healthy for more. Great for you that that is how you are seeing it.

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SUGARBEHONEYPIE 3/17/2011 6:04PM

    Way to go, good for you. I have a friend who when asked her age says-"it's just a number, and the number is unlisted." For any of us, our final goal should be determined by how we feel, fit, etc~and let the stinkin' number be unlisted LOL. Good job on your realization that to lose all that weight and then feel like a failure because of what? A number? Uh-uh. No. Nada. Love your outlook.

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CHICKENCHASER78 3/17/2011 12:38PM

    Well said. Weight loss is such a personal journey and just because you don't hit a particular number on the scale won't make your journey a failure. I think you have a great, healthy way of looking at it.

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REDHEADMOM2U 3/17/2011 12:26PM

    I think you have a good attitude. When you get down to goal you will know what to do

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MYLIDDLEDALLAS 3/17/2011 12:14PM

    Good for you! I think goals need to be re-evaluated consistently because our needs & wants differ from stage to stage. And no one knows better what those needs & wants are then you. Besides, when you get 'there' you'll know and I doubt it will have anything to do with a number on a scale! emoticon

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RUNJEWELRUN 3/17/2011 12:00PM

    Nice blog :)

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_COSMOPAULATAN_ 3/17/2011 11:56AM

    I think it's healthy to re-evaluate. I'm not little. I'll never be little. I just need to work what I'm working with. I wish I had your height, but I don't. 5'6 and muscle is going to get me where I'm going, and if I can eat whatever I want and run and not lose another pound, ever, well then I guess that may be my fate if I want it to be. The same way you determine your fate. Truth is I am comfortable here because I don't have to do much to maintain it... putting forth MORE effort is really unappealing right now.

And the muscle mass thing? Have you ever had it tested? That may give you some perspective.

I wish you could be here this weekend!

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THISISFORME924 3/17/2011 11:45AM

    Very great insight. I think a range is a great idea and will help you with normal flucuations that occur every week! :-)

Check out the movie Fat Head if you have Netflix its kinda comical- He talks about being statistically overweight- but is very healthy and works out 5 times a week.

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CLAIRE246 3/17/2011 11:45AM

    Well said, it's entirely possible to look too thin at a weight labelled 'healthy' by the experts. Keep an open mind and re-evaluate things when you reach your new goal. Work out what looks and feels right for you. I know well enough that the weight I wore quite comfortably as a teenager would be all wrong for me now (in my 50s). I went down that far once in my 30s due to stress and a hectic schedule and when I look back on those pics, I realise that I looked frail and ill.
You're doing a great job and have achieved so much already. I feel encouraged to keep pressing on with my own goals. Thanks!

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ERINBEAR1876 3/17/2011 11:25AM

    I agree with your evaluation. I am medium framed, and still my weight range for my height is 120-160. I am 160, and except for some toning and loose skin issues, I am happy at this weight. Do I want to weigh less? Sure, I like to see lower numbers, but it is about how I look and feel, not about the number. Sometimes hard to see it that way, but when you get there, Ashley, you will know :o}

and you have now inspired me to write a blog. Thank you!!!

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CARMINACG 3/17/2011 11:04AM

    I think a goal weight should be a range. For instance in 5 feet, 5 inches. At my heaviest I weighed 214+ and wore a size 16+. Ive beem working diligently now for a few years and have managed to get to 162lbs and fit into a size 8/9

Overall a 52lb loss total.

I origially had a goal of 160lbs. After much much much consideration and getting close to it I realized I would be happier if I could tone up and get myself anywhere from 145-150. That way if my body wavers 2-3lbs im still in a range where I could maintain.

In the end, I know in my heart if I lost primarly inches for the rest of my journey, I would come to terms with that and be happy in a much leaner frame.





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MADEMCHE 3/17/2011 10:48AM

    Feeling healthy, what a wonderful gift to yourself! You are doing so well, and to realize that whatever the end number is, doesn't matter, is a great revelation. Thank you for sharing.

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PIXIECN 3/17/2011 10:44AM

  I'm so happy for you!! Despite trials in life you're still trucking on and keeping focus of what's healthy and important to you!!

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TIME4AMY 3/17/2011 10:28AM

    The feeling of "living" and "happiness" can not be measure in numbers, but only in the way it makes you feel. I agree...

Granted I need to lose weight and A LOT at that, but I threw a goal out there in the wind. I just want to be out of the 300's, 200's...etc. I don't care if I'm 199, so long as I never have to see 200 again. (Wait, I pledged the 5lb. rule, so If I was to hit 204, then I would have to work my ass off to get to 199 again...hahaha...just sayin') But, it's not about the number really. I already feel soooooo much better, soooooo much happier, and soooooo happy to be "living!" and I'm friggin 326lbs! The more I take care of ME and the healthier I become, means so much more to me than the scale going down. I NEED for the scale to go down, because I'm restricted. I can't fit in many things comfortably...lawn chair, plane, carnival rides...etc. and I want to live and have fun, not be depressed sitting back and watching people live. I NEED to lose weight, because I'm uncomfortable still... my feet ache, my back aches, my hips ache... I NEED to lose weight, because I've been engaged for almost 11 years mainly because I didn't feel good enough to wear a wedding dress. I want to have a beautiful day on a beach and enjoy laying out in a bathing suit comfortably (not a bikini) and snorkle with my fiance' to see what lies under our beautiful ocean. I just want to see the world!...not be trapped just wanting... I NEED to lose weight, because I want to run and chase my kids, not just watch from the side lines. I WANT TO LIVE!

Feeling happy, comfortable, and energetic is my dream. It's not a number. It's smiling when I put on my wedding dress. It's laughing/screaming on a roller coaster ride. It's seeing the sense of adventure in my children's eyes on a plane trip to Disney. It's pure happiness...

May all of our dreams come true! Weight loss will be my Disney World!

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REMEMBER2BME 3/17/2011 8:55AM

    I agree completely. When I am consistently running I can be a bit heavier because my body changes in ways that make me fit into my clothes better. When I am not running consistently my body changes and I am not comfortable. If I stop, I am confident I will need to be at a lower weight to be comfortable. It is an interesting realization.

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RACHELRUNS26 3/17/2011 8:54AM

    Your perspective on this is awesome. I'm the same height as you and I'm currently 176. I wear a size 12. I would prefer to be below 160, but I am trying to make it more about fitness than a number. If you were to get into the 170s and be fit, strong and toned then you may even be smaller than a size 12...it's totally possible. I have very little muscle tone so toning up is one of my major goals right now so that I feel and look better. I know regardless of where you end up, you will look great and have SO MUCH to be proud of!

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AMEHALKO 3/17/2011 8:35AM

  When I look at my goals I not only want lose weight but I want to maintain. I am currently 182 lbs down from 250. My BMI is 28.9. My goal weight is 175, although I would really like to be a size 12 comfortably so if I need to bump that down a little I will. I would need to get down to 156 to be on the high end of the 'normal' range. I would rather be 170 lbs and a size 12 and stay that way, living a normal healthy life than to be 156 lbs and struggle everyday to stay that small. Even if I didn't lose anymore I am healthier than I was 2 years ago when I started this journey. SO proud of you for realizing what your goals should be for you to life a happy healthy life.

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YICHE12 3/17/2011 7:55AM

    Hello Ashley. I am not 5'10" like you, I am a mere 5'1" person. Initially, I wanted to get down to 110 lbs (from 183.7 lbs!) but after consulting with my husband of 42 years, he said that if I reach 125 lbs, that I would feel great. Personally, I would like to be a little bit smaller to have some leeway -- like 120 lbs or so. When I get there, I will see how I feel and make a decision there and then. I no longer want to be the slim person I was in my 20s. I look at thepictures now and I truly feel that I was skinny. I like to have a small amount of reserve on the body because it gives a more feminine look. All this said, I wish you luck and it is a matter of setting reasonable goals for oneself. emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/17/2011 7:56:12 AM

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EAGLE101 3/17/2011 7:03AM

    Totally agree.

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DUSTYGIRL25 3/17/2011 3:43AM

    Your right. You should always do what is best for you, and ultimately what makes you feel the best.
Those charts are just guidelines anyway. Your doing great, your looking good and your feeling healthy. That's the most important thing.
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NANHBH 3/17/2011 1:32AM

    It's all about being healthy. Good for you.

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IBSHAUN 3/17/2011 12:30AM

    So smart Ashley - it really isn't the number. It's a matter of being healthy and happy. I read something today that made me think about what my goals are and the motivation for them. We get really caught up in size and the scale and those numbers. But like you said, it's not one size fits all. Proud of you to take YOU into consideration!

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LUCKYDOGFARM 3/16/2011 11:54PM

    Ashley, i am right there with you. when i first set my weightloss goal, i had no idea what size i would be at that weight, which i had set at 150. i am 5'9". those charts say that i should weight around 128ish. HA! no way. when i got married, i weighed 114. it was WAY too small and i really like having some meat on my bones. so, once i got down to a size 10, even though i was 169, i changed my goal weight to 160. i just met that goal yesterday. it has taken me 6 months to lose that last 9 pounds. but i like the size that i am. i really do not care what the number on the scale is or what some med chart says i should be.
you are the one who has to live in your body, so your weight is totally up to YOU!!

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ECONLADY 3/16/2011 11:53PM

    Your happy buzz is wonderful!

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KAMAPERRY 3/16/2011 11:42PM

    Love your mindset. It is about health, not a number!

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NINNY165 3/16/2011 10:24PM

    Sometimes charts do not tell the whole picture... But I understand your wanting to be in a healthy range according to the chart.....I am guilty myself of the same thing at this point I just want to be at license weight & fit into my summer clothes..then I will reevaluate my real weight ...155 baby steps.... emoticon want ever you set your mind to.....Thanks for being you!!!! emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/16/2011 10:25:51 PM

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 3/16/2011 10:21PM

    I ended up changing mine about a month ago. I originally decided on 150. Just a number I picked, I don't ever remember being that small and I liked the nice round number. Then I found out my "healthy" weight is less than 127... that's so small! So I made my goal 125 and I struggled mentally with that number since I started. I changed it to 147, it's still technically "over weight" but I'm so much more OK with that number. Plus, if I decide to continue on to the "healthy BMI" I'd only have 20 more to go. I've done a lot of thinking over the last couple of months about this journey, and we have to do what's going to make US happy, not what someone else determines for us. Right now, I'm the healthiest I've ever been in my life. God forbid I don't lose another pound, I'm OK! I'm happy and healthy. You deserve to be happy and I know what ever you decide will be what's best for you!

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JOIE501 3/16/2011 10:21PM

    one step at a time...you will get there. i feel like smaller goals are better to set because you can achieve them in a reasonable amount of time and then make new smaller goals, etc. Keep it up! We are here for you =)

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MAMADWARF 3/16/2011 9:49PM

    I picked 180 pounds for me originally. Someone once told me I must be much taller than them (5'5") and I said no, I am 5'5 and a half!! It may seem alot but at 180, I will be comfortable in a medium or large and no more plus sizes. When I get to 180, I will decide if I want to change it. That will be a loss of 111 pounds. So we will see when we get there. Like you, I will know when I get there...Thanks for this blog. I like being realistic, too...

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IMIN2GENES 3/16/2011 9:27PM

    Bravo! I just love your blogs. You've got such a great attitude. You said so many things I agree with. I'm completely with you on the support I've found here. I think that's going to be the extra push for me to be successful in my journey to healthy living and getting fit. Way to go girl!

Chris
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SLIMTHICK2 3/16/2011 9:22PM

    Just today I was re-evalutating my own weight loss goal of 165lbs. I'm actually 30lbs away form it.When I first started I had the goal of 175lbs and decided to change due to an article I read about the BMI index even though in my heart 175lbs. was always where I wanted to be. I think maybe I will give it serious thought and see what I come up with for me.
I enjoyed your blog and I wish you all the success on your journey. All the best to you.

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HEALTHYASHLEY 3/16/2011 9:18PM

    I would love to get that done actually and no I don't know of a place locally. I had it done pretty generally and the said I was between 145 and 165 lbs lean muscle mass which got me upset because that seemed so high to me. That means at a healthy body fat percentage my low end weight was barely my high end weight goal. Uggh.

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XIMERAGREY 3/16/2011 9:06PM

    Do you have a way to get your body fat tested accurately? (Something like BodPod?) In my opinion that's the best way to figure out your goal body weight:

* Get your body fat percentage.
* Figure out your current lean body weight.
* Choose the body fat % you want to shoot for.
* Figure out what your weight would be at your current lean body weight with the ideal body fat %.

I like this method because it's based off real numbers -- off your real body -- not off charts or idealized numbers on a scale.

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AWEBBER3 3/16/2011 8:59PM

    emoticon emoticon

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1KKATT 3/16/2011 8:42PM

    "The closer that I am getting to goal the more I am realizing that this is less about a final number and more about a feeling. "

Thats IT! Thats how I feel about losing. People ask how much I have lost and so far it is 5 lbs. I have been at this for only a short time (this time) a few weeks. And I think 5 lbs is ok, but I don't CARE because already I am feeling better about myself. So far I don't feel any difference in my clothes...or if I do, I feel like it is my imagination...but that isn't the point. I don't CARE if I lose 10 lbs, or 50 lbs...if I feel good, I refuse to have a set weight I have to be. Once I feel GOOD about where I am, I will evaluate whether I need to lose more weight or stay where I am, but I am not going to let that scale tell me how much I HAVE to lose. I will allow it to guide me, but it will not take over my life!

Thank you for putting it into words for me. It isn't about the numbers, it is about a feeling!

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LJOHN44 3/16/2011 8:39PM

    I"m in the same boat. I picked 117 because it's smack dab in the middle of the range for a healthy BMI (I'm short). I'm not sure if I want to lose 20lbs more. I think maybe 10 would be good, but I'm going to play it by ear until I get to where I'm comfy and not dwell on it. I figure I'll know when I get there and if I don't I'm sure the peanut gallery will chime in and let me know.

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FRUITYFUL 3/16/2011 8:32PM

    Doing what's best for you is a great idea. Not everyone can fall within numbers on a chart. As long as you are healthy and happy with yourself, nothing else matters.

I love Sparkpeople and the support the members offer. I have made a couple of really good friends on here. Friendships that I hope will last a lifetime. It's great to have a place where you can brag about your accomplishments or complain about the hard times and get unconditional support.

Keep striving toward your goals. This is my second journey on here, and it took me a long time to get back on the wagon after gaining all of my weight back. It's people like you who have inspired me to get back in the game.

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KIMBYUT 3/16/2011 8:30PM

    I think you definitely have to figure out what works for you - the height/weight charts don't work for everyone. I think your non-weight specific goals are more important than the number on the scale. I also believe you will know what is your "happy weight" when you get there.

I am 5'4'' and weigh somewhere between 158-162 (lol). For my height, I should weigh between 125-145 (125 low end of medium frame and 145 high end of large frame). However, most people freak out when I tell them I'm supposed to lose 20-30 more pounds. They (and finally I am starting to see it too) just don't see where I'm going to drop that much weight and still be healthy. Most people, looking at me think I should stay where I'm at, HOWEVER, I'm not happy at 160 as it doesn't "feel" like my happy weight. I'm aiming for 145 (I think, I've never been that low in my adult life)

Ashley, I just love reading your blogs. The reason that I and so many others enjoy seeing a new blog by you is because you ARE a shining freaking star, and when we get to the end (or usually even just a few sentences in) we are going to feel better, happier, inspired, excited about life in general. You have an amazing, genuine, authentic, bright, optimistic, happy, friendly personality. You obviously care about your family, friends, life, goals, plans, etc. Don't let the woman you work for make you question that, be honest with yourself, you KNOW that you are not that person that she supposedly sees. You can't change the way that she perceives you (although I doubt that she really sees you in that light either, I'm willing to bet there something else going on here, something more personal - more on that in a minute). Just continue being yourself and continue to stand your ground and stand up for yourself. You have to do it in as positive, friendly and civil manner as possible because she is your employer but that does NOT entitle her to treat you like crap. It's difficult to analyze why she acts as she does. I suspect (and who knows since I know NOTHING about her or the situation) that there is something of a personal situation that is affecting her, about you. Whether it be, maybe she sees your success in weightloss, maybe it bothers her that you and her husband have a good working relationship, maybe she sees you doing a great job and trying to rescue this division and she's trying to bring you down because it's something that she couldn't do herself, or that this business is "her baby" and the way she's been "raising her baby" hasn't been working then some "outsider" comes in and tries to change things up (which yes, is what HAS to happen, as you said, can't expect different results by not changing) and suddenly her "baby" is responding "better" by someone else's "parenting" and maybe that bothers her. Who knows...it's all merely speculation. My point is, be honest with yourself and if you are truly even half as positive and radiant as well all know you to be, then there is an underlying issue and you are her scape goat. I'm a firm believer in "whatever is supposed to happen will happen" - I know that's not comforting but if/when something happens, you cross that bridge, make the best of it and what happens happens. Que sera, sera. You are way too determined not to make any situation you end up in work for you and succeed.

Thank you for being an awesome friend and inspiring us all here in SparkWorld :)

hugs!

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MOXIE-IN-MOTION 3/16/2011 8:28PM

    I struggle with this idea constantly. I am healthy, am going to run a half marathon in May, and have tons of muscle. But still weigh 180. But don't look it to other people. (My self-perception is still rather skewed.) I've been working hard on not focusing on the number so much, and only weigh myself once a month now, just to get away from it.

I really wish I could adopt your outlook. Even though I tell myself it isn't about a number, it is hard to not let it be about that number. I want to be at peace with my decision to just be happy.

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SUSIEWHITE1109 3/16/2011 8:16PM

    I love what you're saying here, and I honestly think it's the healthiest way to approach this journey. I can so easily get caught up in "competing" (this all goes on inside my head, because I don't usually admit this to anyone else) about weight, and comparing myself to everyone around me, etc...etc...

In the end, I've come to a place where my goals are, in this order:
1. Live healthy, and that means eating within a predictable calorie range for either losing or maintaining my weight; and exercising on a regular basis each week...usually a minimum of 5 days each week.
2. Live in active recovery with relation to my compulsive eating/binge behavior.
3. Focus on LIVING life in the now, which means I no longer 'wait until I reach a certain weight' to do things I want to do.

It is about being healthy -- obsessions with numbers, as you said, can really be a set up for us to fall back into our old and unhealthy habits.

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ADVENTURE-GIRL 3/16/2011 8:13PM

    You have to do what works for you and what you can live with in the long-term. My goal weight is technically above the healthy range too, but f I keep up this lifestyle I know I will be the healthiest I have ever been in my life.

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Halfway Point Reached and 89 lbs lost with Pics!!!!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

This is the first time I actually wrote out a blog before I put it on SP. I usually fly off the cuff, write it and publish it right away but I felt this one deserved more forethought. The middle of last week I reached my halfway point. 86 lbs lost and weighing in at 259 lbs. When I got on the scale I just knew I had reached it and when I looked down my stomach flipped and I saw 258.8. I had done it! Funny thing is that there are milestones that we all dream about when we start, no matter what weight we start at, and halfway is one of the biggies. Probably second only to reaching goal and slightly edging out the going under 200 mark for many of us. Starting out at 345 lbs I remember crying to my fiancé and telling him I just could not imagine ever being thin and halfway seemed impossibly far. However, I never let the idea slip away. The hunger inside me to be healthy kept me going and truly after I lost the first 20 I never doubted that I would get here. Maybe it would be slower than I would like but I would get here. I had imagined that I would sob uncontrollably. It was very surprising that although I was reasonably happy and smiling like a fool I felt a bit numb about it.

Later that night I called my brother who has himself battled the same 60 lbs up and down his whole adult life and I told him how I was feeling. What I love about him is he is as honest and direct as I am and he said “Ash you look truly amazing and I am really proud of you. It is ok to be happy. When you are unable to be happy and celebrate your progress that is when you cross over from a healthy lifestyle to an unhealthy obsession and can develop an eating disorder.” His words were very powerful for me and I knew he was right. I had earned this and I deserve to let myself be happy and celebrate. That moment was a big wakeup call for me because I decided to stop truly punishing my body. I have paid enough for letting myself get out of control and I don’t have to pay for it anymore. I am not the fat girl I used to be. This is the person I always was and was afraid to let out.

My brother had asked me how I was planning to celebrate. I was going to tell him with cake with snicker but then it got me thinking about rewards. Rewards were something that when I set out to start losing weight I thought they would motivate me. I carefully planned out each reward and its special meaning. You know how many I actually bought? 1 and it was about 3 months after I got past 300 lol. I realized as the weight started to come off that to me all the amazing things I was gaining such as flexibility, endurance, stamina, mental toughness, and happiness where enough of a reward. Material possessions are nice and who doesn’t love to shop when you keep getting smaller???!!! But the thing is now I don’t need stuff to make me happy. I filled the void in my life with so many things, shopping, food, alcohol and none of it ever truly made me happy. Just tonight I realized I can flex my triceps and you can REALLY see it and victories like that happening daily are what makes me happy.

I have thought a lot about where do I go from here? Well, I keep going down :). Mini goals work best for me and I am currently 1 lb from 90 lost, 6 lbs from my lowest adult weight since I was 18 (this is another huge one for me), 11 lbs from 100 lbs lost, 51 lbs from weighing less than my fiancé and 56 lbs from being in 1-derland! It is funny how when you have already lost close to 90 lbs another 50 doesn’t seem so overwhelming. The pictures that I am going to post following really tell so much of my story. As I looked at them I realized I was truly so in denial of how large I had gotten. We could not believe it as we looked back at the past and there is a person in these photos I hardly recognize. The best part is the ones at the end that I took this past weekend at 257 lbs, size 16/XL top and size 20 pants. When I started I was 345 lbs and wore a 3X shirt and a 30/32 pant. I am 5’10”, I always wonder that when I see people’s progress pics.

I was in pretty serious denial this was how I really looked.

I felt amazing that night and this is truly the first time I didn't rip apart a picture of me right away.

I love how my arm looks in this one. You can see some real muscle tone!

The best part of this is that now I am truly living my life, not just existing. You can do this too. Maybe you are reading this and thinking you can’t imagine getting this farther either, well think again. I was there too and it was difficult, just ask me if you are curious. I never gave up and I will not quit until I am at a place that makes me happy. Don’t wait until you have another 20 lbs on or another 50. I wish I had dealt with my issues before I let myself get to almost 350 lbs. It is never too late to start. I put this paragraph on my SP page about a week ago and I think it articulates my situation rather eloquently. “Since I joined SP what feels like a lifetime ago I have changed pretty significantly. I have learned patience, perseverance, tolerance and humility. I have learned that I am stronger and more powerful than I ever could have imagined and that I can accomplish anything. I have learned that failure only happens if you allow it to happen. Your life is what you make it and being healthy is a choice you make everyday. I choose me.”

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EDWARDS1411 4/10/2011 9:49PM

    You are doing great and are a great inspiration to us all!! Keep up the excellent work!!!
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MICHELLERI 4/4/2011 7:04PM

    Congratulations on all your success and continued success!! You look fantastic, and I know you feel fantastic. Thanks for sharing! Your an inspiration!

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SANDYBRUNO 4/3/2011 9:39PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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OKIE_RUNNERGIRL 4/3/2011 7:18PM

    Absolutely inspiring!

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SHAPNUP 4/3/2011 10:35AM

    You go girl! So inspiring! emoticon emoticon

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LADYDRGN 4/1/2011 11:02AM

  Way to go! The strength you have on the inside is showing on the outside! emoticon

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MOSTLYH2O 3/30/2011 3:10PM

    Congratulations -- truly inspirational!!! Keep it up girl, you are awesome!!!!!

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WHATSARAHEATS 3/30/2011 12:48AM

    Great job and what motivation for me when I am re-starting my journey to health! Thanks!

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SLIMMER58 3/29/2011 3:41AM

  Wow! Great effort. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LPNEUTZ 3/28/2011 8:37PM

  Congratulations to you! You are truly an inspiration. I have slipped lately, and you have driven me to move forward. Was at 348#, lost 160#, and have gained some back recently since I took my eyes off my goal for awhile. Thank you for the incredible story and sharing your pix@

Pat

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AJFAVEGRL 3/28/2011 7:54PM

    Your pics look like 2 different people. I think that a lot of this journey while its physically exhausting and makes us sore and wish we didn't have to continue on that the difference in photos of ourselves and seeing others so happy with their weightloss in what keeps me going. I am still a long way from my goal but i can't wait to get to the half way mark. good luck on the rest of your journey.

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MICKYC47 3/28/2011 2:35PM

  WOW!! You look like a different person. And reading your blog, I believe you are a different person. Thanks for inspiring me!

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SPECIALGURL7 3/28/2011 2:32PM

    Great work. Congratulations on meeting the half way mark. I really like your message.

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BIKINIMAMA11 3/28/2011 12:35PM

    You have accomplished an amazing transformation! Definitely something to be proud of. Keep up the great work!

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KOREENREGIS 3/28/2011 12:01PM

  emoticon emoticon

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MSUNEK 3/28/2011 11:58AM

  You look WONDERFUL!!!!!

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CATHYUNEW 3/28/2011 10:43AM

    You are beautiful, inside and out! Thanks for sharing this motivating story!



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DEANAC20 3/28/2011 10:26AM

    Not only do you look wonderful, but I absolutely love your positive attitude! Congratulations to you!!!

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OMINSHEW 3/28/2011 10:12AM

    Great job, seeing the improvement in yourself is the best reward!!

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HEIDI37217 3/28/2011 10:04AM

  Ashley,
Congratulations!!! You look great! You're such an inspiration to others.

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EVASTEPHEN 3/28/2011 9:41AM

    You are awesome! Keep up the good work! emoticon

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MY4SWEETONES 3/28/2011 9:28AM

    You look AMAZING! Your blog always inspires me emoticon

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DIXIEDOODLEDEAN 3/28/2011 9:09AM

    You are sharing just the message I need. You have inspired me to stop this mad behavior. I want to be free from over weight. Thank you for talking.

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KARENE10 3/28/2011 8:59AM

    You look great!!! Very Inspiring:) You CAN accomplish whatever you set out to do.

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MAGICNUMBER180 3/28/2011 7:36AM

  You are an inspiration! Congrats on such a wonderful accomplishment!

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TOMNJERI 3/28/2011 7:18AM

  You look great. I'm sure you love the new you look too!

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MEETNEWME 3/28/2011 6:19AM

  Hey Gal!!

Congrats on ur achievement!!! u luk soooo fab!!!

Cheers

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INIT2LIVEIT 3/28/2011 5:37AM

    Congratulations! you look beautiful. Way to go on all your hard work, may it continue. You are an inspiration!

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JOL2367 3/28/2011 5:04AM

    You are amazing! You really do look fabulous! emoticon

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GIVENTOFLY_ 3/28/2011 3:43AM

  Amazing work!

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LINMHEATH 3/28/2011 3:11AM

    Awesome!!!!

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SWAN47 3/28/2011 1:51AM

    emoticon Proud of you and all you've learned on your journey. I wish you the best in life...you are doing great...keep it up! Thanks for sharing... emoticon

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SWEETMAGNOLIA2 3/27/2011 11:00PM

    Love your blog and pics! I DO see the muscle tone in your arms! You look awesome!


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TERRBEAR12 3/27/2011 10:05PM

    Absolutely wonderful! You are a true winner. Keep it up.
TerrBear

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PEPPER22 3/27/2011 10:05PM

    emoticon

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SORCHA89 3/27/2011 10:03PM

    Great job girl! Keep up the FANTASTICAL work!

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CORTYB 3/27/2011 10:00PM

  Truly awesome emoticon

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HONORINGGOD 3/27/2011 9:59PM

    emoticon keep up the great work ,your worth it

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AMBERADFA 3/27/2011 9:55PM

  Great job!! you look amazing! Keep up the good work.

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VANANDEL 3/27/2011 9:19PM

  You shine! It's amazing what you have accomplished!! Enjoy the rest of your journey - you're traveling in the right direction.

You have a very smart brother!

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MISSY0009 3/27/2011 8:56PM

    Wow!!! Congrats! You are doing amazing! And you look amazing!!

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SLIMMERSUSAN10 3/27/2011 8:45PM

    Absolutely FABULOUS!! Way to go!! emoticon

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MCASCONE 3/27/2011 5:44PM

  You are an inspiration during my week 4. Congratulations.

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AURYNGURL 3/27/2011 3:48PM

    You look awesome! Congratulations.

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BS2678 3/27/2011 2:33PM

  Wow...really loved your post. I do feel that it's never gonna happen...and I always wonder where is the fat gonna go? I mean I think I shoudl get a scraper and scrape it off cuz it must be stuck on there pretty thick. BUt I read your blog, and I feel good that you are happy and maybe just maybe I will get there too. Thanks for sharing!

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CHANGE4THEBEST 3/27/2011 2:27PM

    Congratulations Ashley you look fantastic and an inspiration to all. Keep up the hard work.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PLAYGIRL77 3/27/2011 2:22PM

    So motivating!!! You SHOULD be incredibly proud!! emoticon

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ANUSCHKA9 3/27/2011 2:16PM

    Congratulations! You look great.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JILLYN 3/27/2011 1:27PM

  Congrats! You look amazing!

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MYJUNIEMOON 3/27/2011 1:09PM

    You are doing fantastic!!! This is a life journey, not a marathon and remember to enjoy every day's accomplishments!

You inspire me!



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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Weekend wrap up and shopping in the land of tween sizes

Monday, March 14, 2011

This past weekend was a nutrition challenge for me and I will be honest and say I was nervous about it. We went to 2 different restaurants for 2 different birthday celebrations and I was scared. This past week was so good for me nutritionally and I didn't want to undo all my hard work in just 2 meals. That being said I also don't want to be such a food nazi that I can't enjoy a nice meal out with my friends. My game plan was just use the knowledge I have and order something I knew would be one of the healthier options on the menu and eat a normal portion. Luckily the Argentinean steak house we went to had smaller "gourmet :)" servings which made me really happy because it was what a normal portion should be. I limited myself to one glass of wine and we had a fabulous time.
Saturday was sushi night and since sushi is generally healthy I wasn't stressed out. I don't pick anything with fried stuff in it anyway or rolls with tons of mayo and other unhealthy ingredients so other than eating more rice than I normally do it was all fine. I had bought a special shirt for the occasion and I was feeling like I looked really cute. In the past one of my sparkfriends had mentioned to me that she was surprised after losing quite a bit of weight that none of her shoes fit anymore. I discovered I have this issue this weekend and luckily had bought those new snakeskin print pumps so I rocked those and was feeling pretty awesome. I will post pics of me in my big milestone blog tomorrow. The sushi was absolutely delicious and my fiancé was really happy. They seated us in one of the private shoji screened rooms and it was nice to have our own private tiny room for the entire meal. We had an octopus and oyster appetizer, both delicious. The sushi itself was so good. I like nigiri better and he likes the maki rolls better so I ordered a mix of both and he devoured all of it. It was really cute. Then we went to Finale (dessert and coffee bar) and got espresso's and a single cupcake to celebrate. The cupcake was too rich for me, which is a total first! I had a few bites but that was that. These 2 meals out really opened my eyes to how far I have come since I started. Even when I give myself permission to eat what I want I choose the healthier options and I am naturally practicing portion control. Another first!
Yesterday I went shopping alone, I needed work pants and I just wanted to see how clothes are fitting me these days. I went to Lane Bryant because they were having a huge sale. I didn't see a lot of things I liked but I grabbed some pants, a few shirts, bra's that I had no intention of buying but I was curious about my size and a dress that caught my eye. The dress was AMAZING! It fit me perfectly. I looked tall and sexy and curvy which is a first for me. Seriously. However, at close to a hundred dollars I decided I wouldn't wear it enough to make it worth buying. I was a bit sad but I got to enjoy the feeling of how good I look and that was awesome in and of itself. All of the shirts were tents. It was actually funny and I realized I have out shrunk LB tops for good now! The strange problem I have now is I am too small for most plus size stores but too big for most regular stores. This tween place is a strange one and I hope to be out of it soon so I can shop in average size stores entirely.
I found one pair of pants that looked really good. Problem is that it fits perfect and when I asked the girl at the counter if they would stretch she looked at me and goes, "I don't think a lot, I guess." Gee, thanks for the help. I also snagged a hoodie on super duper clearance sale for $7. Score. It was an 18 and is a bit big. This is what brought on the comment from fiancé that I need to stop buying clothes a bit big and buy the one that is a bit tight. When I go to the store I still look for a size 28 and it is hard for me to wrap my brain around being a 14/16 or so in tops and an 18/20 in bottoms. It is also strange for me to be 257 lbs and wearing sizes most people wear in the low 200's. I guess one of the advantages of being really tall is weight distribution. This weekend was great affirmation of how far I have come. Saturday night we were looking over pictures of me from that night and I said "I finally like pictures of me but I don't feel like I am that different in my head." My fiancé pulled up old photos of me from the beginning and it was visually shocking to me. It was the first time I truly looked like a before and after success story and it made me cry.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JACKIESJ 3/21/2011 3:40PM

    Being tall is definitely a plus! I'm 6'-1" and know exactly what you're talking about with weight distribution. The only place mine doesn't distribute is to my chest!!! (Darn it!) lol. Try Levi's 16 Long Bootcut.

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MOJOGIRL 3/16/2011 10:30PM

    I have been at that tween size and what I found works is if you can find a clothing store that sells clothing in an extended size that is cut regular and not plus, for example if you go on line GAP goes up in size, but is not cut like a tent. Good luck!

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COOKWITHME65 3/15/2011 6:40PM

    So glad you had a nice weekend. Keep an eye on that dress. It will be marked down after easter I'm sure.

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KELLIHOBBS 3/15/2011 1:37PM

    Hi! I totally know how you feel. I'm 5'10 and I've lost 60 pounds and am now around 220 and pant size 16 to 18. I've found that Old Navy jeans work the best for me. They come really long and have different cuts that work for everyone! :) And isn't it great when you realize that the "big people" clothes don't fit anymore? My senior year of high school all I ever wore was Lane Bryant shirts. I recently gave them all away and went "sexy clothes" shopping with my besties. Great feeling!

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WOMANCHEF 3/15/2011 7:24AM

    I wear the same sizes as you and I am around 240 - it is because we are tall. If you have any department stores near you like Macy's - they have women's sizes that will fit. The big girl store clothing runs too big or is cut for shorter women so they don't work for me any more either. Unfortunately the bargains are few and far between for us tall girls. I'm psyched you found a few. Your fiance is right - buy stuff a little tight and you will get more use out of it. I'm glad you feel pretty - good for you!

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ABB698 3/15/2011 2:09AM

    Tween shopping is hard, and I hear ya on being drawn to the bigger sizes/sections, because losing the big girl mentality is hard! And do go for the tighter fits, not only does it motivate you, it keeps you on track! Think about it, if you had lose pants you'd think I'm okay to eat xxx, but if you are wearing something fitted, you pay more attention, because you don't want to feel like a stuffed sausage!
I was bummed this morning myself, as I put on a top I loved, and it used to hide my tummy so well, but now that I don't have much of one left, it just hung and looked dumpy and I had to add it to the other 5 boxes of clothes that don't fit. Nothing the clearance rack won't take care of! emoticon Hang in there, you're emoticon!

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ROCKMAN6797 3/15/2011 2:04AM

    Wow, sounds like you had a fantastic weekend!
You are right, clothes shopping is great indicator of where one is on one's journey toward better health. When I face a "tweener" choice I made a decision to purchase clothing that is one size smaller on the premise that I will fit into it rather than buying something that will be too big for me in time.

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100LBLIGHTER 3/15/2011 12:39AM

    The first thing I had to buy after I had lost a few pounds were panties. My old ones would not stay up. It was such a surprise to find I had to get a couple sizes smaller. I agree with your guy.....get them a little tight so you can wear them longer. Because soon they will be too big for you too. I am looking forward to your next blog. Thanks, Grace emoticon

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SM-ARTGIRL 3/15/2011 12:05AM

    You are doing so well with portion size & healthy dining out choices! emoticon

"I am too small for most plus size stores but too big for most regular stores. This tween place is a strange one and I hope to be out of it soon so I can shop in average size stores entirely." Same, plus I am not tall like you Ashley, and a lot of the plus styles are made to suit taller ladies.
I like designer boutiques & organic designer shops but they seem to insist that to be ethical you must be thin!
Same gos for running clothes, yoga clothes and so on!
Anyhow, we WILL shift this excess!


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KAMAPERRY 3/14/2011 10:47PM

    How exciting!!! Do post pics!

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PELESJEWEL 3/14/2011 8:21PM

    emoticon 5'11 & tall here too! I love my height! I know exactly how you feel. I still remember how hard it hit me - when I realized it's more hard to find a size 14 or 16 in a plus size dept, then 22, 24, 26, 28 sizes. It hit me like a ton of bricks when I realized sizing was demand based.....meaning more women on that end of the pendulm, followed by - AND I'M NOT THERE ANYMORE!! Right? I feel that way everytime I go shopping now. It's the feel good part of this journey.

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IBSHAUN 3/14/2011 7:29PM

    What a great weekend all around! Way to go!

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BAYBELIEVER 3/14/2011 7:27PM

    Amazing! I am so happy for you! Don't worry about being "tween," I know with your determination and attitude you soon will be looking back and Lane Bryant and waving good bye to those of us who are hoping to soon be able to shop there! I am so proud of you! And so glad to hear that at 257 you are fitting in those sizes! I am tall too (nearly 6 feet, how tall are you?) and at 330 still not able to be sure I can shop at Lane Bryant. So, I guess/hope someday I will be rolling on out of these clothes!

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RIGBY31 3/14/2011 7:12PM

    Clothes can definately break the bank! But looking awesome (even for just a few minutes trying them on), priceless. And again I say to you... I love Finale's!!!

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SOULOFADANCER 3/14/2011 7:11PM

    wow major steps congrats

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DUSTYGIRL25 3/14/2011 7:10PM

    Your doing wonderful! I just say is keep up all the wonderful healthy things you have been doing. emoticon

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ANGIEN9 3/14/2011 7:03PM

    Good Job!! emoticon

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SKINNYINMYHEAD 3/14/2011 6:52PM

    I hear ya about the 18's... the other day I was.. well.. bragging that i'd gotten into size 18s (woot woot) and a work friend asked how much I weighed and I said 293.. she said you mean 193... I said no, I mean 293.. she barked TWO HUNDRED NINETY THREE POUNDS and you're wearing 18s? (like I should be wearing 28s).. yesssssss... I'm blessed with fairly distributed weight on a 5'11" frame.. so take THAT... it sorta irritated me .. but then I decided her words reflected more on her than me.. whatever..

Annie

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ECONLADY 3/14/2011 5:54PM

    I'm thrilled that you are doing well!

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HANNAH_CALM 3/14/2011 5:33PM

    I'm glad you had a fun night out! Congratulations for graduating out of Lane Bryant tops! I hope you won't be between stores for long, good luck!!!

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GIANTMICROBE 3/14/2011 4:24PM

    No one ever believes me when I tell them I lost weight in my feet too. So true!

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AMEHALKO 3/14/2011 3:52PM

  The end of your blog really hit home. My entire family is heavy for their size. Even my sister who is a size 8 is in the 160's. I feel like I used that as an excuse for so many years. I weighed 250 lbs but was still in a size 18, where so many other people at 250 were larger. It must be ok then... I finally realized it's not.

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REMEMBER2BME 3/14/2011 3:52PM

    Absolutely fantastic all the way around. You must be so proud of yourself making good decisions while eating out AND enjoying yourself in your sexy snakeskin print pumps (too cool). And how special to be able to reminisce with your man and see how far you have come.

A BIG emoticon to you!

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DIANA_IS_BACK 3/14/2011 3:10PM

    Good for you! emoticon

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SAMMYSWEETPEA 3/14/2011 2:30PM

    You're doing so well Ash! You're a great inspiration!

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WORTHEYMOM 3/14/2011 2:20PM

    Goosebumps! You are awesome!

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KIMJEWKES 3/14/2011 1:42PM

    You are awesome and you are definitely a success story!!!

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ANITA_NM 3/14/2011 1:34PM

    I'm glad you had happy, healthy birthday celebrations! You rock! And Happy Birthday, btw.
I went to Lane Bryant, too, because their sale was awesome. And suddenly, I realized that I could get some baggy stuff in there, but not stuff that I should be buying, because the scale's going the other way, now. Isn't it great when you realize that you aren't their target audience, anymore? Now, we just have to keep up all this great progress, and we'll soon be the clientele of all those other cute stores in the mall. Ann Taylor Loft, anyone? :)

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HIPPICHICK1 3/14/2011 1:29PM

    I know exactly how you feel! Going through this journey can be an eye opening experience for any one who has done it.
Too big shoes? Yup.
Tween sized? Yup.
Not feeling too different in the head but old photos of the old you make you cry with the joy of accomplishment? Yup.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TREASURINGLIFE 3/14/2011 1:26PM

    Wooo-whooo! GREAT WEEKEND! You've come a long way and have done a wonderful job (inside, and out). Keep on keeping on! :)

- Michelle

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LITTLEONEJLC 3/14/2011 1:25PM

    It's so awesome to see how healthy living is just NORMAL living for you now. You rock!

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KATHLOW 3/14/2011 1:02PM

    you are doing so great i'm glad the lifestyle is working for you! I look forward to your blog tomorrow too



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RACHELRUNS26 3/14/2011 12:58PM

    Your dinners out sounded fab!! So happy for you that you practiced good portion control. :)

And yes, I find that us tall women have better weight distribution than shorter women. I'm 5'10" and wear a size 12 bottom from 185 lbs down to 160 lbs. Only in the 150s do I even get close to feeling comfortable in a pair of size 10 jeans. Right now in tops I wear a mix of large talls and medium talls. On one hand it is kind of depressing to lose 25 lbs and be the same size, but it also means that people most certainly under estimate how much we actually weigh.

I hope you can find some nice clothes that fit you, but I agree with your fiance - buy them on the small side! :)

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 3/14/2011 12:56PM

    That's so great that you had such a good time. I have a really hard time wrapping my head around my new size. I just automatically grab the biggest one they have! Well, NO MORE sister, we've got this!

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NEWNESS2010 3/14/2011 12:50PM

    Wow! Great blog. I'm so inspired to keep going! Keep up the good work.


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MADEMCHE 3/14/2011 12:49PM

    You are doing an amazing job, and I am so very, very happy for you Ash!

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BECOMING_HOLLY 3/14/2011 12:40PM

    You're such an inspiration... I can't believe you started at the same place as I did! My mom got me some size 28 dress pants for Christmas this year, and now they are SO HUGE... but I am so scared to buy new ones (not cheap!) because I want to shrink more... you know what I mean? haha, sure you do!!

I think it's so awesome that you have made so much progress. Have fun shopping and trying on!!

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GRACEISENUF 3/14/2011 12:39PM

    So happy for you and ALL the progress you have made.
emoticon

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MOXIE-IN-MOTION 3/14/2011 12:37PM

    I really enjoyed this blog, and am looking forward to the pics tomorrow! It is such an awesome feeling to realize, yeah....I do look that good.

Also, congrats on the portion control and still having a good time while going out. You should be so proud of yourself.

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JESSIEJUICE 3/14/2011 12:32PM

    Aw, I can't wait to see your photos tomorrow :). I went out to eat a lot this weekend as well and was pleasantly surprised at how I no longer over-order or over eat. Have a great week! emoticon

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DANIELLESAUTUMN 3/14/2011 12:32PM

    Hey that's great!! I definitely agree with the fiance of opting on the small side versus too large, it will make you feel even BETTER when you DO fit into them. And daaang that's awesome that you're so evenly proportioned. I think it was you that said to me we have the same body-type. And that's about right- my bottom is a size larger than my top. And i'm 250 and ALMOST 14/16 top and 18/20 bottoms. i think 10 more lbs and for sure.

Congrats! It is really hard to actually feel small. I had someone at work today that said my face looks "Tiny"- uhh WOAH, that's new. But when i look at "Before" pictures- I just smile :) Do the same- you're doing great!

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