Wednesday, February 09, 2011
I am so excited to report this today. One of my biggest battles with my weight is against sugar. If I fantasize about food it is almost always related to desserts and candies. When people will try a dish and tell me it is too sweet I usually look at them like they are crazy. Rarely is anything too sweet for me. EVER.
Last week I mentioned on my status that I had to go to this candy warehouse to buy candy for my client's Valentine's Day candy buffet. Yes, these are the days my job is really fun. However, sending me to a candy warehouse was like sending an alcoholic to a liquor store. I said it to be funny but it is true. I have learned to control myself and I did not buy myself a single thing. However, I did smell it all the way home in the back and it was hard not to want to open it. Gummies, jelly beans and liquorice are particular favorites and that happens to all fall into the mix I purchased.
For me there is not half way with sugar. I just have to cut it out as much as possible. I can't eat just one. I will eat the bag. No, not kidding. You put a whole 1 lb bag of twizzlers on my desk I will eat them until I am sick and the bag is empty. I tried to figure out why I do this and doctor's have always babbled to me about serotonin and tried to put me on some drug to compensate and I would be magically cured. I wasn't and I don't like to take medicine all that much anyway.
The point of all my ramblings was that yesterday I was setting up the buffet in all of the different glass jars and doing a trial run to make sure I liked the design and how it looked so I had to open all the candy. Yes, I ate some. Guess what? I don't like candy anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Even as I am typing this I am in total disbelief of how this is even possible. The taste was awful and I felt so sick. I didn't enjoy it at all and I felt angry I wasted the calories. Now some of you may be reading this and not understanding this at all or thinking this was easy for you. This was one of my biggest obstacles to weight loss and a healthy life, EVER. The whole rest of the afternoon I felt sick and I could feel my blood sugar crash and I just felt gross.
What was the precipitous for this huge breakthrough? I don't really know. I feel like it is just the power of healthy eating. When you stop eating all of the processed junk and artificial sweeteners and sugar etc your body just doesn't want it anymore. As easily as we can addicted to that type of diet we can also get turned off of it. At my biggest I used to sit and watch trainers talk about how they enjoyed their whole grain, no butter, no flavor diets and snort to myself and think "It isn't possible". What I have learned is that it really is possible. The days of feeling sick and dizzy all the time. Of feeling exhausted by 3 PM and getting sick every time I got stressed out are pretty much over. My aches and pains diminish every day and are replaced with sore muscles from working out. That kind of pain I welcome .
So my wonderful SP friends, tell me your latest breakthrough or NS victory. If we focus on these types of improvements we can focus less on the evil scale!
Tuesday, February 08, 2011
Last night I was reading an article about the model Crystal Renn. If you don't know about her she is gorgeous and when she was young she was anorexic and exercised compulsively to get her 5'10" body down to the sample sizes she needed to wear to be a standard model. One day she decided to get healthy and stopped starving herself and exercising entirely and ended up a size 12 or a "plus size" model. She is still gorgeous. Unfortunately she went to both extremes, too thin and then not exercising at all. Neither one of those is good for your body. When she decided to find balance and exercise a healthy amount she found her body is naturally around a size 8. For this she has received harsh criticism. She is "too fat" to be a regular model but too small to be "plus size". Her comment to the magazine was something to the effect of"why can't I just be what I am, why do people have to care what size I am?".
I thought about this article all night. I remember when Jennifer Hudson and Sara Rue both lost weight and I read some rather harsh blogs on SP about how they had "abandoned" their plus size sisters. Both of these women had faced harsh criticism in the past for being too big and once they inarguably got healthier they were criticized for that as well. Why is someone's size so important to other people? Why do we project our own body issues on friends, family and even celebrities?
What exactly is beautiful? For a long time I thought beautiful had to fit a mold. Petite, thin, perfect figure, shiny hair and if I wasn't those things than I was nothing and I didn't have a place. What I realized over the past year is nobody is perfect but we can be happy. We can love ourselves for whomever we choose to be. The perfect body is what we choose for it to be. If you are happy at a size 16 and lead a fulfilling life than why do we need to label it "plus size". Why does a size have to have any label at all? Nobody has to live in your body but you and you can decide what is healthy for you. No, I am not advocating any specific size. I am saying that if you are eating a normal, healthy diet in a reasonable calorie range and working out for your health and personal enjoyment and not obsessively to lose weight than wherever your body falls in that size range is fine.
When I started I wanted to be a specific size and a specific weight. Basically just smaller than I can remember being in my entire adult life. I am less worried about that now. I just want to be healthy. I want to be able to run a 5K and not feel like I am going to die. I want to be able to hike with my family and play at the beach. Whatever size I end up will be ok as long as I can live the active life I want to lead. Beauty is in everything and you get to decide what is beautiful. If we all work to change our shallow culture it can happen. It starts inside us and our own attitudes about our bodies. You are beautiful as you are, getting healthy. Healthy is beautiful.
Get An Email Alert Each Time HEALTHYASHLEY Posts