Wednesday, December 29, 2010
After the gorgefest of the holidays I was literally dying to get back to my healthy eating. I fantasized about it the way I used to fantasize about cake and I loved me some cake let me tell you. I had fun with my family and I didn't go nuts on the actual holidays but I did eat way too many sweets while I was baking them and certainly not enough veggies the way I usually do. Yesterday I was determined to be back to normal and then I got excited. Normal is healthy. Normal is fruits and veggies and chugging water. I still drank water the way I normally do even when I was eating poorly. My body is so used to it now that I feel off if I am not drinking enough. I had been eating WAY to many simple carbs and not enough protein. I looked back at my tracker to see where I was off track and have made some meal adjustments for the rest of the week. It is shocking to me how those simple carbs make me feel like an addict. Yesterday I was cranky and hungry all day without them and I know it wasn't real hunger. It was the sugar withdrawal. When I cut out all that sugar I don't have the energy highs and lows and my mood is more even.
I have been thinking a lot about the word diet lately because with the new year coming we are going to see A LOT of new members many of whom will last a few days to a few weeks because they are here with a diet mentality. Even the people in my office are going on and on about starting a new "diet". I am excited to say this isn't a diet for me, it is my life, and I am excited and proud. My mom gave me money for my birthday and usually I give any monetary gifts to our savings or pay bills with it but this year I decided to stop depriving myself and doing for everyone else. I am just going to spend it on me. What made me laugh is that almost everything I would want is related to healthy living. I thought of workout clothes, a garmin, new clean eating books, Zumba videos the list goes on. In the past I would have blown the whole thing on a dinner for me and my fiancÚ. I thought a lot about how if he got the money he would spend it on himself. He works hard for his money so when he is rewarded he doesn't have a hard time enjoying it. Why do I? Why do I feel it is selfish to enjoy a reward?
I think the idea of a diet is somehow a punishment. A way to repent for our sins of overindulgence. That is why they don't work. You can't make something good happen when you start out so negative. I am proud of where I am and very excited for my future. I never imagined I could grow so attached to people I have never met. That our friendships could be so complex and deep. Sparkpeople really has helped me to change the direction of my life.