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Letting go of the fat girl

Friday, October 01, 2010

I don't really remember a time when I felt good about what my body looked like. Even in high school when I played 3 varsity sports and worked out 2+ hours a day 6 days a week I never felt small, delicate or thin. When I look back at those pictures it makes me sad that I never appreciated how beautiful I was or how I looked. I still remember the sting of boys I liked not wanting to date me because I was "fat". How is a woman who is 5'10" and a D cup in middle school supposed to look?? At 18 I went to therapy and she told me that my eating was a result of needing to be in control. I grew up in a house with a lot of abuse and VERY controlling parents and she said eating was the only thing they couldn't stop me from doing.
I have held on to this baggage for so long. Three days before my senior year of high school I got into a head on collision that resulted in 2 ruptured discs in the lumbar region of my spine and I was in a back brace for 6 months. This was the beginning with a 60 lb weight gain and my spiral into 14 years of hating my body. Last night when I was blogging I realized something. I am finally letting the fat girl go.
I don't need her anymore. She doesn't make me happy, she doesn't contribute to my life now in a positive way and I don't need the security blanket anymore. Who cares what I USED to be?? Life is here and now and everyday coming forward. A coworker unexpectedly lost his mother in law last night and it made me think "Why am I letting the past control my now?". So I say to you and to myself. LET GO OF THE FAT GIRL!
You are not her anymore. You are a woman who is taking control of her health, her nutrition and her life. Our lives are what we MAKE THEM. Sitting at the computer and whining about how we are miserable and can't lose weight may be mentally therapeutic but it is the action that you take that will change this for you. I have said it before "it is a choice". Everyday when you get up it is a choice to eat a healthy breakfast, to dodge the box of donuts, to skip the 300th office birthday cake of the year but in the end the rewards are worth it. Yes, it is hard but I can tell you getting my life back as the rewards pays triple dividends. So here I go, from today I am no longer Ashley, I used to be so fat. I am just Ashley, health nut, work out freak, cardio bunny (thanks Paula) and new clothes whore. Make it Happen.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BETHIE_BOO 11/1/2010 11:28AM

    NEWGMP329- you and me both! I look back at pics from high school, and wish I had known how beautiful I was.

But this fat girl here, she's gotta go. Maybe she can hitch a ride with your fat girl, Ashley! Thanks for posting!

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NEWGMP329 10/11/2010 4:19PM

    emoticon

I thought you were writing about me in those first few sentences!
I desperately need to "let go of my fat girl" - thank you for putting into words what I have been feeling for so long.

Good luck on your continued journey!


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GEMINIGEM6 10/11/2010 2:41PM

    God I love this blog!!! Go girl!! I'm with you!! Wow!

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SUSIEWHITE1109 10/11/2010 10:36AM

    This is an absolutely awesome blog!! Thank you so much for sharing your story -- I'm letting go of the fat girl too!! You are so right...she does NOTHING for us!!

emoticon emoticon Have a terrific day!!

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JAX1457 10/10/2010 8:10AM

  emoticon

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GAMOMMY3 10/9/2010 7:34PM

    Beautifully said.

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KAREN42BOYS 10/9/2010 10:43AM

    a beautiful post about you really learning to be transformed.

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DIVADOLL73 10/8/2010 1:45PM

    All I can say is YOU ROCK GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! emoticon

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NOMOEXCUSES13 10/8/2010 1:07AM

    Inspiration at its best.....hope to one day release my fat girl!!!

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SPARKANN 10/7/2010 10:36PM

    Wonderful! Thank you!


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POLLKAT 10/7/2010 9:43AM

    Good job. We do deserve to be good to ourselves and think positive of ourselves. Sometimes it takes some effort, but the better we treat ourselves, the better we do. Keep up the great work you are doing.

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NANHBH 10/7/2010 1:39AM

    "I am just Ashley, health nut, work out freak, cardio bunny (thanks Paula) and new clothes whore."

And add to that "ROCKING ELLIPTICAL GIRL!"

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ALFALLY 10/7/2010 12:34AM

  so inspiring!

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MOBEANZ 10/6/2010 8:35PM

    Your blog is another step towards me letting go of the fat girl. I still think of myself as big. Someone will refer to me as "little" and before I can stop it, I say "no i'm not". In Zumba sometimes I don't recognize myself when I glance at myself in the mirror. I catch myself getting changed and look at myself and try to accept it's me and I still have a hard time. I've lost 55 pounds and still don't see myself as smaller. But reading this shows I'm not alone and I hope I can get to the point you are at.

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BEMAGICAL 10/6/2010 6:53PM

  emoticon i'd like to add you as emoticon

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ROSIEP7 10/6/2010 2:20PM

    Great blog! When I left home at 18 to go to university it's fair to say I had a lot of 'baggage'. I also didn't have the perspective to understand that it was the sum of lots of things, some just typical teenage stuff, some justified, and so my baggage was a huge great steamer trunk that I dragged around with me.

After a while I started thinking of the things I carried as separate bits of luggage - large suitcases, some boxes and some little pieces. Each had an expiration date in my head - I could continue to be upset about whatever was in them until that point, but then I had to leave them behind.

I decided nothing that had happened before had to define me forever, and I got to choose how long I was going to let it.

But then again, I'm English and have a weird way of looking at things.....



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DBFBILLY 10/6/2010 12:00PM

    Totally awesome blogs..I'm adding you as a emoticon and I can tell I have a lot to learn from you..

Thanks emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JAZZYONE53 10/6/2010 8:39AM

    emoticon

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CJAC24 10/5/2010 5:51PM

  hi i find it really hard. i am not fat but i feel fat. kind of like how you described. i feel i am in the same situation but never thought of it like that - with my parents. i guess i feel out of control - and i also had an illness. i guess i have been eating to feel better because it is the one thing i can control and it feels like the only thing i have. sad i know. i hope i can turn around my attitude to match yours at some point.

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MELLYBEANS0919 10/5/2010 3:09PM

    You are SO inspiring. Love your blogs. I am going to add you as a friend if that is ok!

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BABBELINGBHELL 10/4/2010 11:11AM

    you rock!!!! wow letting go of the fat girl is something ive been trying to do because all she does is bring me down... amazing and inspiring thank you for sharing!!!

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KLASSIE 10/3/2010 10:20PM

    Bravo!! You recognize what it takes and you're doing something about it. Remember why you're working hard and do it for you. Congratulations on your decision to be healthy for you.

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BELLALUCIA 10/3/2010 5:57PM

    Great blog! It comforted me!

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POOKAQUEEN 10/2/2010 9:43AM

    A beautiful blog. You inspired me and I'm going to borrow your words to inspire a friend who needs to hear them.
I totally love the ending. You are an awesome person and a great inspiration.

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LUCKYDOGFARM 10/2/2010 1:17AM

    Yay Ashley! Love that Attitude!!!

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MAMADWARF 10/1/2010 5:41PM

    Aww ashley, you are so totally the bomb. Loved this blog, love the changes, love the attitude. Love what you said about being Just ashley, not ashley who used to be so fat. I love that. I love you! most popular blog award coming up!!

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JENN26POINT2 10/1/2010 4:28PM

    I FREAKING LOVE IT!! This is the best: So here I go, from today I am no longer Ashley, I used to be so fat. I am just Ashley, health nut, work out freak, cardio bunny (thanks Paula) and new clothes whore. Make it Happen.

I said it in another one of your blogs, but it bears saying again... You freaking RAWK girl! You motivate and inspire me daily! :)

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MECHANGEL 10/1/2010 1:55PM

    Great blog, very inspiring!

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STEPH_MORRIS 10/1/2010 1:28PM

    yet another amazingly inspiring blog from you, Ashley. There are no other words to explain how much you just made my day.

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SMOCKON 10/1/2010 1:25PM

    I am so proud of you!

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PAMATX 10/1/2010 1:22PM

    I can relate to not appreciating our beauty. Such a shame. I love this: "So here I go, from today I am no longer Ashley, I used to be so fat. I am just Ashley, health nut, work out freak, cardio bunny (thanks Paula) and new clothes whore."

You go, sister cardio bunny clothes whore!!



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HEALTHYFIGHTER 10/1/2010 1:10PM

    Rock on girl! That's right!

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MAIA2011 10/1/2010 1:01PM

    You go, new clothes whore!

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MCSNYDER1 10/1/2010 12:53PM

    Very motivating blog, Ash! Thanks for posting it! You're right--every day we can choose---choose to be happy, choose to be productive, choose to NOT eat that cake, choose to get off our butts and move!
I've said it before, and I'll say it again! I am delighted with the change I am seeing in you! Your positive outlook is contagious! Thanks for being my friend!

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BROOKDOESLIFE 10/1/2010 12:31PM

    First off, way to go! That is a huge accomplishment just to not feel the jealousy of your sister anymore. I struggle with the EXACT same thing. My sister has always been skinny and pretty. My Mom made food a huge issue and controlled me in that way and is still trying to control me with food to this day. I can just so relate to all of this and glad to see that you are working through your issues and moving on.
This is truly awesome!

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PRETTYINPUNK_04 10/1/2010 11:57AM

    Love it. You are emoticon

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SNAPPY_MOM 10/1/2010 11:15AM

    Great Job! I think the mental aspect of weight loss is the hardest part. Embrace the new you! emoticon

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BETHV10 10/1/2010 11:02AM

    Love your positive attitude. emoticon

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RONIREDD 10/1/2010 10:55AM

    You go girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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KARLYNCANDOIT 10/1/2010 10:45AM

    Great blog! Just what I needed to hear today!!

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FUZZY1TOO 10/1/2010 10:44AM

    Cardio Bunny.....I LOVE IT! Does that mean we all have to wear bunny ears and tails while we work out? Hmmmmmm, I think I could do that.....in purple? lol
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Good for you to recognize those psycho-emotional changes that you have gone through. I'm proud of you. Sometimes those are the hardest to face, accept and embrace.
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Let's keep going on this journey and gear up for a 'Grand Re-opening' next year, eh?
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MADEMCHE 10/1/2010 10:08AM

    Love it Ash! You so deserve this. I am so proud of you. And inspired.

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LITTLEONEJLC 10/1/2010 9:38AM

    Your words are encouraging to me - thanks. I have been having a stressful week. I started feeling like, "I don't know if I can do this." and started falling into my old ways of turning towards food for comfort. But you are right. It is a choice. It is MY choice. So I need to choose to make good choices, and not fall into old traps. The past is the past. I don't need to let history repeat itself. The choice is mine.

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BTINTERNET 10/1/2010 9:27AM

    Most definitely!!!

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SASSYSUNFLOWER 10/1/2010 9:20AM

    WAY TO GO!!!!..Wonderful words! I am right there along with you! Have a great day emoticon

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KATHLOW 10/1/2010 8:42AM

    yeah! couldn't agree with you more (or be happier for you!). Love the new clothes whore:-)

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SASSACAIA 10/1/2010 8:20AM

    You go, girl! I love this positive attitude! I can just feel the power coming through your words! With that kind of attitude, you can conquer anything!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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You look so young

Thursday, September 30, 2010

That is what the no more than 20 year old cashier said to me when she checked my ID while I was buying beer for my fiancÚ. I smiled and said "thanks, you just made my day". She kept staring at me and said "I am sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but I am shocked you were born in 77". Since I am working on taking compliments I told her I was thrilled and I took it as a compliment and thanks. She proceeded to chatter about my manicure and some other girl small talk and it hit me. I have been accepted back into the girls club. If you have never been really big, you probably don't know this, but when you get to a certain size people look through you. Other women do not treat you like one of them. They don't talk about girly things with you like your bag or your manicure. I have honestly never felt very feminine. Even though I love clothes, bags, and shoes I always feel like I am in a costume when I try to wear certain things. I look at girls with flawless makeup and hair and I don't really understand how they can look so perfect.
Anyway, today she treated me like a real girly girl and since kids that age are extremely egocentric it made me feel good. All this work I have been doing to take care of myself is clearly working. I made a vow to myself that I will not wear any clothes that don't make me feel hot, even workout clothes which can also be cute. I have been making sure to give myself time to do my hair and makeup and I really feel like it is helping my self esteem enormously.
My skin looks the best it has in ten years and I really believe it is due to my improved nutrition and all the water I am drinking. Even when I am tired I don't look anything like I used too. I am starting to forget the fat girl which I never thought would happen. I don't need her anymore. There is nothing left to shelter or to hang onto. This life is here for good and I am SO happy about it. Maybe we have all discovered the fountain of youth!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANHBH 10/7/2010 1:41AM

    You DO look young!

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LUV4CHOCOLATE 10/2/2010 7:04PM

    You deserve the compliments! Great job.

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UHYEAHABOUTTHAT 10/1/2010 9:39PM

    I'm with you about looking cute at the gym. I like my stuff to look coordinated and match well...Otherwise, I feel slobbish and less motivated.
I also like that you have made it a goal to look hot. :) That's awesome. good for you!!
Hottie!!
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CARILOUIE 10/1/2010 6:06PM

    I totally get this blog. I love having people compliment my nails and clothes, like I'm part of some Club.
I like your idea of never leaving the house without feeling hot... there is no reason to hide in frumpy dumpy stuff.
WE ARE HOT!!!!!!!!

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RUNTRILAUGH 10/1/2010 4:19PM

    Sad commentary on the way people are, but very happy for the way you feel today!

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JENN26POINT2 10/1/2010 4:14PM

    What a wonderful story! I also don't feel very feminine, but it is starting to surface. I don't see myself snatching up the make-up anytime soon b/c I feel like I am more of the athletic type with a tendency to wear jogging shorts and tees over tight jeans and scoop neck shirts, but I do feel more "like" a girl than I did before. :) You're doing great and inspiring me every day!

Kudos on the awesome compliment! ;)

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MAIA2011 10/1/2010 12:58PM

    What a great blog! I am so happy for you!

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CARMINACG 10/1/2010 10:13AM

    Hey you know what I totally hear you! I found once I dropped weight, strangers were more polite to me. I would be approached by people randomly for small chit chat. Maybe I looked more approachable, happy, relaxed...I dont really know.

But one thing I can contest to is - defintiley take the time each day to make yourself feel cute, put together, pretty...etc. I find it helps excude the confidence I know I have and have burried for 'alot' of reasons.

When you are feeling at your best, you are able to postively put yourself out there to talk to people, meet new aquaintances, and show those around you, you are happy with yourself, and worth getting to know! :)

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HOPERISING 10/1/2010 9:17AM

    Woot! Thats you: Young, sexy and confident!

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SIMPLE_TAILOR 10/1/2010 8:54AM

    Who knew that hydrating, eating well, and some exercise was all we needed to look young?

Keep enjoying those compliments!!!

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SPOOKYTHECAT 10/1/2010 8:19AM

    Congrats! & I agree about work-out clothes~ having a cute , pulled together work-out outfit makes me more motivated at the gym!

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COOKWITHME65 10/1/2010 6:12AM

    Its only going to get better Ashley. All your hard work is paying off. You must be beaming.

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KATHLOW 10/1/2010 3:33AM

    wow, people seem to notice you left and right! Send sme of that youthfulness my way :-)

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TRACYZABELLE 10/1/2010 1:07AM

    emoticon

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BTINTERNET 9/30/2010 10:12PM

    Excellent! You've been doing great with people noticing lately!!!

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LEANNROCKS 9/30/2010 8:59PM

    Yes Ma'am - you said it! How sad that we still get judged by how we look instead of what is inside.

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LUCKYDOGFARM 9/30/2010 8:55PM

    Miss Ashley, that is so wonderful! i know exactly what you are talking about, wearing only stuff that makes you feel sexy. since i have started losing weight, i try to only go in public if i am dresses properly. tired of going to town in my farmer clothes. it is nice being noticed again! especially since i turned 50 this year~! not that 50 is so bad, but fat and 49, it really sucked!

Keep up the AWESOME job!

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2FUN2B_LAZY 9/30/2010 8:32PM

    I feel the same way about being back in the "girl club", but I think it is more because I have more confidence! I think people felt like they can step all over me, which they could because I had low confidence. Now, I feel like I'm part of things and it makes me feel much better!

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POOKAQUEEN 9/30/2010 8:31PM

    Awesome! Congrats!

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FIZZYBALL 9/30/2010 8:30PM

    emoticon emoticon

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MCSNYDER1 9/30/2010 8:28PM

    You're hard work is paying off!!! Woo-Hoo!!!!!!

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ELLABELLE66 9/30/2010 8:09PM

    What a wonderful compliment - I am sooo happy for you! GO GIRL!!!

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CREATINGJES 9/30/2010 8:02PM

    I love that feeling :)

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_COSMOPAULATAN_ 9/30/2010 7:44PM

    I am so happy for you, but I'm convinced most people remain egocentric their entire lives :) I think that's part of the deal, we are supposed to feel good about ourselves. It's fun rediscovering it!

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YOUNGNSMYLIE 9/30/2010 7:34PM

    Great blog, and congrats! It's terrible that women -and men- "look through" bigger women, but it does happen, and it is very hurtful. Enjoy being happy, healthy, and beautiful! emoticon

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STEPHANIE0982 9/30/2010 7:32PM

    I love that feeling - when someone notices something small - when it hasn't happened in awhile it can feel like the biggest thing in the world!

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MADEMCHE 9/30/2010 7:29PM

    That is awesome Ash! So happy for you! And good work on accepting the compliments, I know how hard it can be sometimes. You are amazing, and I am so happy that other people are seeing that too!

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Lets Talk About Sex

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

emoticon emoticon Here is my disclaimer. If for religious or personal reasons you find talking about sex offensive. Don't say I didn't warn you emoticon emoticon

So after 3 months on SP and losing 65 lbs I think the thing that has shocked me the most is how much the weight loss changes your sex life. Now I have never been shy about sex and even at my biggest I didn't hide from my fiancÚ etc. This isn't going to go into graphic details or anything, don't worry, some things are sacred and my fiancÚ is pretty conservative in his feelings about how much you should share with other people. At my biggest I did have insecurities about my size and I used to shower 3 times a day because I was so paranoid I would smell bad but it didn't stop me from enjoying sex. There were times like I felt my own stomach was making it difficult to breathe and limited me in my abilities and I had pretty much resigned myself to the idea that this was how it generally was going to be for me.
I can say, just 65 lbs later, this should be a huge motivator for everyone. Not only has my self-confidence skyrocketed but our sex life, which wasn't bad to begin with, has improved so much just from my ability to move around more. I hope this isn't freaking people out but I really can't believe how much things have changed. For a long time I felt like being tired all the time and being unathletic was my fault and that we had to limit our intimacy because of my own inability to deal with my own issues. He could barely hug me because my fat kept me so far away from him. I can remember times when he would try to snuggle me and I would feel like I was suffocating and I would have to move away. These aren't issues for us anymore. I am still big and have a long way to go but I am not losing out on basic human pleasures anymore as a result. I can walk around the park, go dancing, have sex, go shopping and enjoy all the things I have wanted too for so long. I used to choose food over living my life and I can say now, and for the rest of my life, I am going to choose me. Sorry food issues, you are done.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KJCIPSWICH 10/10/2010 5:46PM

  Thanks for the post. You are sooo right. Congrats on the weight loss. Thanks for sharing. You are beautiful and I'm very pleased for you. emoticon

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DIVADOLL73 10/8/2010 1:17PM

    This is an AWESOME!! Blog and very unoffensive in my opinion. It is "real life" and we are all adults on this journey together. I totally enjoyed your blog. Sex is a very important part of our lives and as we become more self-confident and healthy we can maximize this area of our life as well. Continue having fun ((-: I'm looking forward too it!!!!! ((-: emoticon

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NANHBH 10/7/2010 1:44AM

    You make me laugh!

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STEPHSADVENTURE 10/6/2010 4:26PM

    I so enjoy reading your blogs. You tell it how it is and speak a lot of what I am thinking! I have lost 40lbs and my husband and I are like newlyweds again. If i had only knew i would have started this sooner. Thank you!

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SPOOKYTHECAT 10/6/2010 2:55PM

    This is a GREAT blog, & should still be featured ~ I'm glad you brought up the subject!
Sex, & feeling sexy is fantastic~ & a wonderful side benefit for all of the healthy choices!

I have only just started , but I can see the difference in just two months & 10 pounds~my size used to make me feel bad , & unsexy.

That is changing :0) emoticon Ashley, you rock!

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ANGELCURLS83 10/6/2010 11:48AM

    Great blog! I so can relate to this. I remember the last time I lost some weight, my husband actually stopped during sex and was feeling my hips and commented on how much smaller they were. That comment made me feel great. emoticon

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HEALTHY4ME 10/6/2010 11:12AM

    Hmm mI don't see anything offensive in this blog at all. I have no clue why it would be dropped as it was a pop blog and hey it says it like it is. I have just added your blogs to my list. I am thankful for you one above about positive- ness and fake it till you make it.

hugs

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HEALTHYFIGHTER 10/6/2010 11:08AM

    I definitely understand what you mean! Self-confidence definitely interferes with the libido! I'm glad you are enjoying yourself, and I saw how they removed this from the popular blog list and honestly, it was completely unoffensive and the word sex was used like 3 times! lol. But yea keep having fun!
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Comment edited on: 10/6/2010 11:08:26 AM

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LOSINGAMBER 10/5/2010 9:15AM

    Awesome! I think a lot of times now my weight has a lot to do with how I feel in the bedroom. I still *ahem* have a good time but I do realize things would be better if I keep up the healthy path I'm on now. Good for you!

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WORTHEYMOM 10/5/2010 8:51AM

    It totally makes a difference in the sex department - totally agree! Here is to having a great time! Hehe!

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NATKITA 10/5/2010 8:42AM

    emoticon emoticon

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REALRADIANT1 10/4/2010 2:06PM

    Congratulations on your wonderful progress. And thank you for sharing your inspiring story.

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MUSIKGIRL 10/4/2010 1:36PM

  emoticon

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PROPMAN1 10/4/2010 1:28PM

  Weight definitely plays a role in sex life. You have to/need to feel good about yourself before you can enjoy real initimacy. Good for you! Keep going and enjoying. emoticon

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BADASSBLONDIE 10/4/2010 12:36PM

    Awesome!!! Congrats!!! I totally know where you're coming from with this and I hope that my sex life keeps improving over my weight loss journey. Now, if only we could make our schedules less hectic... LOL.

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ASANTIAGO2 10/4/2010 12:36PM

  emoticon

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JESSIEHESSIE 10/4/2010 12:34PM

    LOL! Just yesterday my husband said "Thank You Bob Harper for what you have done to my wife's thighs!!" Both him and I realize that our activities prior to my getting in shape were great but now they register OFF THE CHARTS!!
We both maintain that whoever says it isn't cardio isn't doing it right!!
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MYLIDDLEDALLAS 10/4/2010 12:19PM

    Yup, you're 100% right! It makes a huge difference, much nicer when you don't have a budda belly running interference!! emoticon

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TINNATEE 10/4/2010 12:08PM

    Very good post! Losing weight makes you feel even sexier which makes it that much better! You go girl!

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SCS9261 10/4/2010 11:57AM

    I can soooo relate to your post! Even though I'm only 20 lbs or so down...I notice a big difference. I can't wait for the rest of the weight to come off!

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BRINA421 10/4/2010 11:49AM

    I know that weight definitely affects me sexual. When I'm heavy, I'm not comfortable with my partner and therefore it's very hard to enjoy it.

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HAZELDREAMS 10/4/2010 11:35AM

    Good for you!!! It should go without saying that sex is a healthy part of our lives and the fact that you feel your sex life has improved and you are finding more enjoyment is not only a big motivator for you to keep on your journey, but sharing it will help others too. Btw..you also discussed the topic so tastefully that I honestly would be shocked if anyone found it distasteful.

I've lost 30 or so lbs..and find that as it keeps coming off, and of course the more I get out there and walk/jog.. the easier it gets. I like the side effect of having more stamina and not feeling like I'm losing my breathe as I try different things with my husband. lol

Thanks for sharing!

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CANDYCEBARTON 10/4/2010 11:28AM

    WTG on your weight loss! Thanks for broaching a subject I'm sure many people are curious about. I know my husband and my sex life was a lot more active when we were in better shape!

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VIRGOGURL4 10/4/2010 11:27AM

    emoticon

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TIARAG03 10/4/2010 11:22AM

    This is truly the truth. The more weight the more restrictions!!!! Less weight and less limitations!!!!! I can feel the difference in 20lbs down, can't wait to the changes at 50lbs down! emoticon

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OPTIMISSPRIME 10/4/2010 11:18AM

    Wow, AWESOME blog! I really identify with everything you say, despite the fact that I'm now happily single. Feeling bad about myself was like a gray cloud that dampened everything enjoyable in my life with its rain of suckiness. Well, no more! It makes me so happy and inspired to see other people getting healthier and happier too! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KAREN_NY 10/4/2010 11:15AM

    Oh yeah, it's real!
K:)

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BABBELINGBHELL 10/4/2010 11:09AM

    sooooo awesome!!!! gives me some reasons to buckle down and focus again woot woot thank you for sharing!!!!

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YOOVIE 10/4/2010 10:58AM

    I love this!!!!!!!!!!!

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LINDAGAGS 10/4/2010 10:58AM

    I totally agree. It's working for me!

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ITSANEWMEVP 10/4/2010 10:30AM

    Boy, it is nice to know that I'm not the only person who ever experienced the feeling of being suffocated by my own stomach! And hugging is soooooo much nicer when you get to be closer during the hug! Good Job and keep it up!!

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JLEMUS1 10/4/2010 10:27AM

    HECK YEAH!! Even if other people did not put it down on their blog they are so thankful you did!!! Way to go!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HEALTHYKIM101 10/4/2010 9:54AM

    You Go Girl! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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IMAPARROTHEAD 10/4/2010 9:26AM

    A healthly sex life is so important to overall health....at least I think so! And, it can be a great workout!! :) emoticon

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ERIN4771 10/4/2010 9:25AM

    hehe....totally true!!! it's like a new person gets unleashed or something emoticon
gotta love it!!

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BELLE_CHANSON 10/4/2010 9:23AM

    Awesome!

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ADZY86 10/4/2010 9:04AM

    GREAT post!!! Not that I have a bad sex life now, but I am soooooo looking forward to it getting even better emoticon

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CALLMEMILO 10/4/2010 8:36AM

  hehe awesome! gives me even more reason to get into shape!!

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PLSA62 10/4/2010 7:51AM

    Enjoyed your blog.

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ANNROBERTS54 10/4/2010 7:50AM

    :)

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HEIDE69 10/4/2010 7:49AM

    emoticon

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GRAMMIE1959 10/4/2010 7:35AM

    emoticon emoticon

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RESTLESSSPIRIT 10/4/2010 7:19AM

  Great blog,,,you got that right girlfriend.......I would write more but going to get some water and take a long walk,,,,ohhh mercy the possibilities!!!!!!!Loved it.

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CNIANE 10/4/2010 5:36AM

    So true! Great job and keep up the great work. More good things will come with the loss of more weight and the continued consistency. emoticon

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-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 10/4/2010 5:14AM

    emoticon

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GINADOWNUNDER 10/4/2010 4:40AM

    :-) Way to go girl!

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MRE1956 10/4/2010 3:53AM

    emoticon

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10INPROGRESS 10/4/2010 3:26AM

    I know that's right get him girl! Keep up the good work :o) emoticon

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LIBBYL1 10/4/2010 2:17AM

  enjoy

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UHYEAHABOUTTHAT 10/1/2010 9:40PM

    emoticon Yayyy for hot sex!! You go girl!!!!!

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Average Size Clothing Store Fear

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I realized when I was getting dressed this morning that I have 1 long sleeve shirt of any type left. Not a sweater, nothing. All of it got bagged up for Goodwill. Yeah for having shrunk that much but it also means shopping is a necessity. The first none plus size sweater I bought last month is huge already and when I checked the size chart on Old Navy I am firmly in an XL, well I checked 3 times actually lol. I had the intention of stopping on my way to the gym. There is a flagship store right near it and they would have a good selection. When I drove by I convinced myself I looked a mess and should stop on my way back. On my way back I talked myself out of it because I was all red faced and sweaty. I finally had to own up to the reality.
I am afraid to shop in an average size store. There, I said it, and I am really embarrassed about it but it is true. I was so big for so long that I have myself trained to avoid any store I know doesn't care plus size. Part of it is the disappointment. How many times have you seen a really cute top and realized the largest size they carry is a freaking 10? It hurt too many times. I also have this insecurity that people are thinking that fatty can't possibly think she can find anything here. What is she crazy?
Even when I shop online I automatically click on the plus size section first even though I can wear average size tops now. My gym gave me a t-shirt so I threw it on and it fit. I couldn't stop smiling.
What is funny is I am not intimidated at the gym anymore nor am I insecure around the cardio bunnies. I will be one of those girls strutting around in my spandex pants with my cute butt soon. I know I am strong and powerful and I am doing the right things to change my life.
So tonight I decided I am no longer going to be afraid. I deserve to shop in a store just like anyone else and screw them if they don't like it. I have worked to hard to worry about what other people think. I can't believe how fast my body is changing. This is a pretty cool trip.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FLWRCHLD97 9/29/2010 4:47PM

    I sometimes go shopping with my friend who is a size 2 (or 4, whatever, she's small). She'd go into the plus sized stores with me and I'd go into the petite regular stores with her. I do look at the clothes when I am in her store, but I know I will not be able to fit into one piece of clothing.

What I sometimes do to lighten the mood (trying to make me feel better because I'm fat and I know I can't wear anything in the store, and every other woman in that store knows that I am too fat) is that I would hold up a shirt (or pants, skirt, etc.) and ask my friend, "If I buy two of these and sew them together, do you think they'd fit?". My friend would chuckle, I'm not sure what the other ladies thought (maybe something like, "Fatty made a funny!"). I don't know...but it is intimidating and I really don't like going in to those stores.

I swear, some of those shirts would not even cover one of my boobs!

But, I'm working on changing that too - just like you!

Congrats on your progress and success so far!

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WORTHEYMOM 9/29/2010 3:54PM

    have fun and enjoy! You deserve it!

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PRETTYINPUNK_04 9/29/2010 3:18PM

    Loved this blog!

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GIRANIMAL 9/29/2010 2:38PM

    I can relate. I didn't need to shop only plus sizes at my heaviest, but I was still terrified the first time I bought smaller-size clothes. My 14's (which had been embarrassingly too tight) were hanging so far off my hips it was ridiculous, and yet I was so, so, so afraid that a 12 would still be too snug and I would be positively devastated after how hard I'd been working. So yeah, my throat caught when the 12's slid right on. I all-out cried once I mustered the courage to try the 10 and they fit. When 8's came along -- well, I am sometimes still in disbelief.

So your trepidation is understandable! But those Old Navy clothes are going to fit you now. And you're gonna look hot in them! And if you're an emotional mess like I am, you'll cry like a baby in the fitting room. So bring tissues. emoticon

I agree with MAMADWARF. Post a pic in your cute new clothes! It's fun for us and incredibly empowering for you. emoticon

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LOOKY-LOU 9/29/2010 11:02AM

    Honestly, people at the store DON'T care...okay there are probably a few icky girls left over from high school, but they do not have any power!

You are strong..and you deserve this!

Have fun, and don't worry about what other people think..it's what you think that matters!!!!

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HOPERISING 9/29/2010 10:56AM

    I understand this fear. I went into the Gap once, looking to buy a gift for a friend of mine. A little size 0 clerk came up to me and said, "I'm sorry but I don't think we carry your size in this store." I left angry and humiliated, and I have never set foot in a Gap since, or an Old Navy, or any of those boutiques that don't sell anything plus-sized.

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RED_WRITINGHOOD 9/29/2010 7:43AM

    Wonderful blog girl!! You said it perfectly and yes you do deserve it!!

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MRSBERTA_69 9/29/2010 7:31AM

    Great blog! I have the same fears too! emoticon

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MRSSIBRAT 9/29/2010 7:16AM

    way to go lady! go shopping and have fun!! you deserve it! you look great so go get some cute clothes for the new you!!

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KATHLOW 9/29/2010 4:44AM

    just dive in and go for it! Side effects may include an ampty wallet though....everything will look cute on you! Don't say i didn't warn ya!

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TRACYZABELLE 9/29/2010 3:53AM

    My daughter likes the Gap and OLD navy seems their clothing is more forgiving-- good luck shopping!

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ALICALI 9/29/2010 12:38AM

    Yeah Ash!!!!!

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VGIMLET 9/28/2010 11:02PM

    Go, go go!

It is an amazing experience, especially if it's been a long time. Depending on your personality, make sure you have tissues. Or your dancing shoes on. Or both. emoticon

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MAMADWARF 9/28/2010 10:40PM

    You know what someone is going to see when you go into that store? A pretty woman looking for a top. Period. Thats it. just someone shopping. Go get a shirt then take a picture of you wearing it for us!!

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AMOHAME2 9/28/2010 10:08PM

    Have fun with your new selection of stores to shop in!! Don't be afraid of them, walk in with your head held high, and you'll have a wonderful time trying on clothes that will fit you beautifully!

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GRACEISENUF 9/28/2010 10:05PM

    I loved the line..."I have worked to hard to worry about what other people think". Yes you have. Strut right in there and get you some "hawt" clothes!
emoticon

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COLD_GOLD 9/28/2010 9:49PM

    wow! good job! Don't be intimidated by the shops... explore! have fun! find which shops carry clothes that flatter your body! emoticon

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POOKAQUEEN 9/28/2010 9:41PM

    Change is scary. These are good changes and you're doing great. You deserve a nice shopping trip and you deserve lots of cute clothes to wear!

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MAIA2011 9/28/2010 9:40PM

    Go for it! You have nothing to fear!



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KARVY09 9/28/2010 9:37PM

    Don't be afraid. Just go in and enjoy. It'll take awhile to realize you're not that big anymore, but once it clicks, you'll feel so good. I promise.

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_COSMOPAULATAN_ 9/28/2010 9:21PM

    I may be a cardio bunny (and now I have the shirt to prove it!) but I will NEVER wear spandex pants. Ever! Congrats on being an XL! That size seems to stick around forever for me... I can't escape it!

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BJW-FARMGIRL 9/28/2010 9:13PM

    Oh, hon, you deserve to have some FUN now!!! Those people won't even realize you used to have to have plus sizes. One piece of advice: Take a size smaller than you think you need into the dressing room with you. You may very well need it! Happens to most of us, from what I've read. Now, you go have a great time getting some new clothes!

Comment edited on: 9/28/2010 9:14:44 PM

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MCSNYDER1 9/28/2010 9:05PM

    I am thrilled for you!! Now, you get in that store and shop, shop, shop!!!!!!

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SASSACAIA 9/28/2010 9:02PM

    You go, girl! Shop! And enjoy it! It's a girls' right to do so!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JEREMY723 9/28/2010 9:00PM

    What a great reward, and at the same time a major change that will take getting used to. Best of luck! Enjoy as well!

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KARLYNCANDOIT 9/28/2010 8:56PM

    emoticon It is a great feeling to do this and when you do you will feel very impowered!!!

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SYDNEY_DE 9/28/2010 8:52PM

    Congratulations! It's awesome that you've made it this far! I'm glad that you were able to go into the store and shop. The psychological ramifications of being overweight might be one of the hardest to really get over.

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GOCELTICSGO 9/28/2010 8:49PM

    What did you start at?

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Tired of obsessing about food

Friday, September 24, 2010

First my problem was that I obsessed about food all the time. Now I still feel like I obsess about food and it is making me nuts. I would like one day when I eat food just as fuel and don't think about it all day and have to plan and worry and calculate and think about every single item. Sometimes I watch my fiancÚ who can be happy to just eat the same thing day in and day out and I am just not wired that way and it makes me sad. When I was a kid we ate almost all processed foods. My mom worked 3 jobs because my father never wanted to work so my brother and I ate a lot of boxed foods, frozen meals, etc. My mother is also one of the most picky eaters I have ever met, I mean ridiculously bad, so we experienced very little in the way of new things. I always longed for new experiences and when I worked in a restaurant it was like a whole new world to me. I wanted to try everything and I loved all of it. My cravings for different types of foods can get expensive. I spend all day working with a chef who used to be the chef at the Four Seasons, it is kind of like a drug addict working for a coke dealer. Sometimes my cravings can be so strong I can not even focus on anything else. They are not always for bad food, today for example it was sushi and I can never eat a lot of it because I get so full so I only at 350 calories worth which is fine. However, that one roll was 10 dollars. That is ridiculous when I could have just cooked at home for a few dollars. I wish I could work past the point of obsessing good or bad. It seems to come in cycles. I will think that I am starting to work past it and then a day like today will happen. I saw a girl talking about how she had never tried hummus and was afraid to try it because it was expensive, $3. It made me laugh because hummus is not even remotely exotic to me and because she would probably choke and die if she knew what I spend on food sometimes. When I saw a therapist to try and get to the root of my emotional eating she told me that food cravings are actually really normal and most people experience them. I wish I could sit and eat a meal and just be normal for one day. I am determined to get to that point. It is hard because people who aren't food people really don't understand me. I am sure there are people on here who don't think I am totally crazy and it is nice to be able to talk about it.
Do you obsess about food? Is it something that you have been able to work through or is it something you still struggle with?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMPLE_TAILOR 10/12/2010 2:29PM

    i would agree with the therapist. Food cravings are natural. Part of that is your body telling you it needs a nutrient. When you have a crave, think about what you are craving and look at some of the nutrients in that food and see if you can come up with an alternate, healthier option.

I know that pizza is one of those things that I struggle with. When the pizza hits the table, my stomach turns into a black hole and it just starts going in.

You are going to get there. Just have patience.

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JBMT08 10/7/2010 9:32AM

    GIRL!!!!
I felt like you and I were separated at birth (LOL!!) I too obsess over food. what to eat, how much, cravings, etc. I too am trying to find a happy medium with just eating for fuel without saying "I feel like having this" or "I am feening for that". I love Rachel_mac's comment. I strive to get to that point : FOOD IS FUEL, ONLY! We will get there!! emoticon

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TRACYZABELLE 9/27/2010 4:06AM

    One person said I obsess about food because I am always talking about a new recipe or show I saw I don't think that is obsessing but just showing I like a variery of things.. heck I am happy with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich as long as it is the right bread and spreads, lol.. SHe said I need to eat to live but she said I live to eat

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COOKWITHME65 9/27/2010 2:42AM

    Ashley, now you got me thinking about oysters. Im obsessed with food also but am starting to try and lighten up my favorite recipes. What a great job you have. Although I'm sure it can be tempting at times.

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ANAJAK 9/26/2010 6:22PM

    I definitely obsess over food!! I have always worked with food and have just changed careers to something not remotely linked with food! (Not saying you have to do this btw, just my experience!!)

Now I channel those urges into creating healthy AND tasty alternatives to all our favorites! I even take what we would order at restaurants and make them healthy - it takes care of the obsessing and the family requests for desserts etc and I am always making up or looking for healthy recipes or recipes I can adapt so still about food but not necessarily bad to eat (like your sushi!!)

Good luck girl - you can do it!!

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RACHEL_MAC 9/26/2010 6:19PM

    I was certifiably obsessed with food until about a month or two ago, when I fell into a natural rhythm. I knew a few ideas for breakfast, a few snack ideas, and a few lunch/dinner ideas, and now I go by those guidelines (for example: have to have a protein shake at breakfast, but other than that I eat all the carbs I can stuff in my face. Morning snack can have fruit, but PM snack doesn't. Lunch and dinner are usually the same, 4-6 oz protein and veggies, but lunch includes a wrap, slice of bread, or rice/quinoa). I follow those rules (and still track my food just so I have an idea of what I'm getting) and it works. It took me YEARS to get here, though, you just have to learn what works for your body, then sieze on those little rules and make them work to your advantage. You'll get there, I promise!

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PURPLESPEDCOW 9/26/2010 5:37PM

    Sometimes it helps me if I give in to a craving - but I try to limit the amount. Like someone before me said, a craving will demand to be fed. If I want say a cookie, then I will go ahead and get the cookie because otherwise I find myself eating everything else but the stupid cookie and all those calories are worse then if I had just eaten the cookie in the first place. If you are eating healthy, and can afford it, I say go ahead and plan for your obsession.

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LOSING107 9/26/2010 5:25PM

    I think I was food obsessed during my marriage. I'm not anymore, and it seems to be because I am venturing out and exploring other things in life. Lunch and dinner used to be the highlight of my day, but I think that is b/c my life sucked. =P

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HEYPINK 9/26/2010 5:06PM

    I obssess about food (and god does that get expensive!). There are times when I will get a craving and it literally wont go away until I do something about it. And I am talking days later. Its rediculous. I am a believer in God, so I just close my eyes send up a prayer and try like hell to involve myself in something that will take my mind off of it.....sometimes it works, other times it doesnt. I wish I had a magical cure-all for you though - for me too.


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HELLORITA 9/26/2010 5:04PM

    When I eat my soy protein and yogurt etc my cravings and hunger go down. I do think some people-me included do have more bad habits than other people. I feel it is environmental and some genetic predisposition. Now that I am retired, healthy food and exercising is my full time job so I am always planning my week for it. I sometimes need just a break too. Then I try and go out with a friend for lunch along with another activity so its not always about food. Good luck. I think most of us at Spark PEople have some difficulty with this or we wouldnt be members and would not have gained the weight in the first place. emoticon

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KATHYJO56 9/26/2010 4:59PM

    Ashley, I think that most people obsess about food and frankly, I think that it is a problem. We are wondering what we are going to eat the next time before we are finished with what we are eating at the current time. I wish I knew the answer to that. I am trying to work past that myself, because like you, I like lots of different things with lots of different flavors and textures.

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HEALTHYASHLEY 9/26/2010 4:50PM

    There is a big difference between food as a hobby and an obsession. I consider cooking a hobby but I get these times where literally all I think about every second is 1 specific item, like say crispy duck. I will drive an hour to get duck at this one specific place and pay like 30 dollars for it and eat the whole half a duck myself or obsess about oysters etc. That is not normal or healthy and certainly at my worst this was happening 5-7 nights a week with the items varying nightly so that is a ridiculous waste of money.

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LOOKY-LOU 9/26/2010 1:50PM

    I definitely obsess about food. I get a craving and then it's all that's in my head...for hours!

Sometimes I give in, especially if I am alone. I can eat everything in the house and not feel satisfied, or I can just have whatever it is I crave and get back to the rest of my life.

However, if I am not alone, I try to ignore the craving...I still obsess, but don't give in...I do find the "obsess" time has decreased...

Good luck in figuring out what works for you!

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CARILOUIE 9/26/2010 9:02AM

    I'm on the same page as Giantmicrobe - food is a hobby for me.

Sure you spend $10 on sushi, but could you have made it at home for that much and as well? When my honey and I go out to eat, we usually try to go for foods that we can't make at home and/or couldn't make as well. It's typically Thai or sushi, but knowing that you really enjoyed it and couldn't replicate it yourself makes it not so bad to spend the money.



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BTRTHANEVA 9/26/2010 8:45AM

    Eating has become a national past-time. And the portions are out of control. By 2020, it's predicted that 75% of Americans will be overweight. And we're considered to be one of the smartest nations in the world???

I have gotten past eating food for pleasure. I now view it as the fuel to keep my engine burning. Yes, I have my moments - 2.5 cannoli's Friday night - but I don't have them ALL OF THE TIME, like I used to. I'm taking my vitamins everyday too. Let's face it - I'm an old fart. But a smart fart! (not to be confused with a sweet-tart! But occasionally referred to as a *sweetheart*.) Somebody stop me!

I wasn't going to use the nutional tracker when I first joined SP. I was in need of *fuel for thought*. One day I decided to see how my daily nutrition measured out. It didn't. I wasn't giving my body what it needed to run optimally. I'm making the adjustments because my body deserves to run on SUPER PREMIUM. I try to eat mindfully now. Ask myself why I want to eat and eat slowly - savoring the flavor instead of shovelling handfuls down at a time. (your stomach realizes it's full in 20 minutes; therefore, slower eating = less eating)

Be mindful. If you're obsessing about food - just think of what you're missing in life! Put nutrion in some context that works for you.

CHOW (mindfully, of course...hehehehehe)

Comment edited on: 9/26/2010 8:46:48 AM

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AEBROWNSON 9/25/2010 1:06PM

    Yes, Ashley, I obsess about food...most of the time. I hope that eventually, after I'm at a normal weight, I can begin to internalize all the stuff that I have to think about consciously right now. I can see that it is starting to happen, but there are still times...and I know what you mean about having expensive tastes, which is hard, when you live in the middle of nowhere and can't GET the stuff you want without a two hour drive. Heck, I have to drive an hour to get to a grocery store that stocks the kind of Greek yogurt I like!

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BTINTERNET 9/25/2010 1:05PM

    I didn't obsess when I was younger, but as dining has become more and more my social outlet, it has gotten worse. I also find that as I am trying to watch my intake, I have to really obsess - planning makes me much more successful. It's a trade-off because I am a foodie, now I just have to be a foodie with more healthy tendencies.

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TML-2012 9/25/2010 12:59PM

    I totally know what you mean. I am trying to move food out of the main spot light of my life.

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MCSNYDER1 9/25/2010 12:15PM

    Ashley, I never used to obssess about food, but somehow, now I do. It's like I just think all day.."what can I eat"..."what shouldn't I eat"..."if I eat that,m then I'll walk more"....

I am finding that staying busy keeps my mind off it---but I don't work around food. I also chew gun a lot now! I guess my jaws are happiest when they are working; and like RJ, I love crunchy! I LOVE peanut butter filled pretzel nuggets. I started eating way more than a serving, so now I just keep plain pretzels in the house.

I was going to suggest therapy, but after reading what your therapist told you, I'm thinking maybe you should try a different therapist! It seems that one just "poo-pooed" your issue and did nothing to help you solve it.

My new job has me doing paperwork all day every Friday instead of seeing students. Yesterday, I thought I'd eat my ink pen! I wasn't hungry---I just wanted to eat!! So, I got a crunchy honeycrisp apple and walked around the perimeter of the school property to keep me busy! It worked!!!

Know that I am ALWAYS here for you!
Mary

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HOPERISING 9/25/2010 12:09PM

    I could have written this blog myself. I am absolutely food obsessed, and I could cry if I thought about all of the money I have spent supporting this flavor-craving "addiction". Ironically, the foods I crave are usually pretty healthy, but also expensive. I don't smoke or drink or do drugs, but I have wasted sooo much money on food. Last night at work I started craving steamed vegetable dumplings like MAD. It was all consuming, all I could think about.

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POOKAQUEEN 9/25/2010 10:42AM

    Definitely not crazy. I get that craving from time to time too. Hummus is one of my favorite snacks now, I make my own. Cans of chick peas aren't very expensive, and I live on a budget. I know what you mean about having good food instead of the bland boxed stuff on a budget. It takes a lot of planning, but I think I've finally struck a balance.
Oh, and my hubby can eat the same thing happily every day too! I just can't do it! Variety is the spice of life and boy do I need that spice!

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POOKAQUEEN 9/25/2010 10:42AM

    Definitely not crazy. I get that craving from time to time too. Hummus is one of my favorite snacks now, I make my own. Cans of chick peas aren't very expensive, and I live on a budget. I know what you mean about having good food instead of the bland boxed stuff on a budget. It takes a lot of planning, but I think I've finally struck a balance.
Oh, and my hubby can eat the same thing happily every day too! I just can't do it! Variety is the spice of life and boy do I need that spice!

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GIANTMICROBE 9/25/2010 10:05AM

    I don't consider it an obsession- I think of it as a hobby actually. I love food, love talking about food, love browsing recipes, love cooking and baking and serving food. I think of myself as a foodie in training.

I also love working out, love talking about working out, love researching fitness... that is a hobby too.

They're some of my interests... they make me who I am.

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HEALTHYONE2008 9/25/2010 9:53AM

    You are not alone on this one. I find that on some days it is all that I think about.

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JEREMY723 9/25/2010 6:23AM

    I think and have read that food is especailly hard when it's an addiction because you can't cut it out. You can stop smoking, doing crack, etc. completely but you have to always keep eating.

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KATHLOW 9/25/2010 4:15AM

    yep, you need to move out of my head sharpish!

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REM-CYCLES 9/25/2010 1:17AM

    Cruncy things get me. But there are other things. I have learned to have other things to concentrate on instead of focusing on what I crave. I think it is probably normal, but I personally curb it by filtering my thoughts and having prefabricated thoughts based on goals to combat the thoughts centered on cravings.

Not that I always have this going.

Regarding breakfast, mine typically that one I blogged about (weekdays). It works, I don't get headaches by hitting the protein more. The fiber in the morning helps me stay full all the way until lunch.

What is helping me now is pre-planning my foods at minimum one day in advance. Recognizing I'm going to post the sum of calories, fat, cholesterol, etc each and every day in our "accountability" thread seems to help me. That's my end, it's a daily focus and a daily goal.

Not that it's always easy. My wife gave me a tactic that has merit; when observing a food that I would typically be drawnTM to, remember that I enjoyed it once, and that I don't really have to have it now.

Here's one more good thing:
http://www.sparkpeople.co
m/resource/wellness_articles.as
p?id=596

I read that earlier today and posted it to another person. There's a few good tips on what we're talking about here, and I can relate to what's spoken about in that article.

Decide on a plan when the cravings hit. We can surpass our cravings with practice. But it is good to occasionally allow a craving, however, there's a bit about being balanced in this.

Comment edited on: 9/25/2010 1:24:54 AM

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LBEEKMA 9/25/2010 1:06AM

    I came from a family who planned every day around what they're going to eat...it drove me nuts at times, but I have to admit that I love trying new things and eating out. I have found that the best way for me to succeed in combating this food-obsessive behavior is to eat at home. I know it is not very exciting at times, but my son loves to experiment with spices so that helps. Keep trying new methods...I know you'll find one that works for you!

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SERENEART 9/24/2010 10:59PM

    I still obssess about some food. Wish I could get it to go away and just be.

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LUCKYDOGFARM 9/24/2010 10:13PM

    occasionally i obsess about food. mostly desserts though. i love sweets. i could eat the same meal day in and day out and it would not bother me a bit, but i HAVE to HAVE my desserts.

i have given up all sodas. so no problem there, but i don't see myself ever giving up dessert!

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MAIA2011 9/24/2010 10:09PM

    Between ages 11 until 17 when I left I lived with my single dad who starved me. There was beer and condiments in the fridge. One day in frustration I made a sign for the fridge that said Condiment City in big letters. My dad was really pissed. At 14 I got a job as a busperson in a really nice restaurant in Pacific Grove, California so I could buy groceries. Cue A Whole New World from Aladdin. There was swordfish and buerre blanc and potatoes au gratin and cream soups and brioche bread pudding and creme brulee. OMG! Also, since I was starving I weighed just over 100 pounds at my full adult height of 5'7". They loved to feed me because I went bananas. I also loved to be fed. The love affair of my life, the one with with restaurants, began there.

I read yesterday that the best thing to do for weight loss is to eat the same thing everyday. That is what I am trying to do. It works as long as I don't leave the house. Of course, I have to leave the house so it's not working. If you get any answers then let me know first! Good luck!

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GRACEISENUF 9/24/2010 10:06PM

    I am a "foodie" from way back and I get it. I had to kinda laugh when you described your work situation as an addict working for a coke dealer but I can see that would be really hard.

I too love really pricey foods, trying new things, organic if possible and alot of people would probably gasp at some of the items I purchase as well. I also think it came from eating a routine/bland diet as a kid.

To answer your last question, yes it is something I still struggle with.

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