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My new gorgeous black dress pic

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Here is the dress I blogged about last night. I could not seem to get a picture that does it justice. This was the best I could do. I feel so gorgeous in this dress. Every girl in my office today told me I looked stunning and one lady just stared at me and told me I looked absolutely lovely. I thought that was such a great compliment. I didn't even want to take it off tonight when I got home. Here is the link to it online if you want to see a better pic.
www.lanebryant.com/dresses-skirts/dresse
s/ponte-knit-drape-neck-dress/4031c138
73p65491/index.pro?Mcatn=Dresses&Mcatp
n=Dresses+%26+Skirts&Mcatg=category_ro
ot&Mcatp=cat_4031%406000&Mcat=13873%406000



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOUFANJESSICA 9/11/2010 10:47PM

    Both you and the dress are lovely!

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JEANNESERENITY 9/11/2010 10:56AM

    I can't wait to have dress like this...one that makes me feel beautiful. I hope you get to wear it all the time.

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JO2TOM 9/10/2010 9:20PM

    Wow! You look stunning! No wonder you didn't want to take it off. Hope the rest of your shopping was as successful. I am so proud of you!! emoticon

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MOMMYBYCHOICE 9/9/2010 4:00PM

    that is a hot dress......

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TKAYSMILES 9/9/2010 3:56PM

    Love the dress! You look wonderful! Congrats on your shopping victories!!

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SMOCKON 9/9/2010 10:54AM

    You're right: it fits you perfectly and is definitely sexy. Great purchase!

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KISSIMS19 9/9/2010 10:50AM

    LOVE IT!!! You look fantastic!

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KEJA34 9/8/2010 11:09PM

    Beautiful dress! You look AMAZING!

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HELLORITA 9/8/2010 9:35PM

    I love that dress. I am going to get one like it for a Saturday night out with the girls at a swanky restaurant. We have a Lane Bryant about 2 miles away from me. At least we live in different places so we wont run into each other. emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/8/2010 9:37:31 PM

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PELESJEWEL 9/8/2010 8:14PM

    emoticon Look at you!! How beautiful! You look so happy & confident!

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FRECKS96 9/8/2010 3:27PM

    Looking great! Keep up the good work!

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NEENSTER1 9/8/2010 3:06PM

    That is the perfect black dress. You look Gorgeous girl. You are rocking it. Feel beautiful, Look beautiful. Be Encouraged. emoticon

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MRSGOFARR 9/8/2010 1:20PM

    hey hottie. love your outfit!

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MICMASH 9/8/2010 1:09PM

    You look great. Funny thing I went to lane bryant last night with the hopes of buying THIS dress but they were out of my size.

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RIGBY31 9/8/2010 11:27AM

    Love the dress! Excellent lines, cute shoes. You can dress it up or down. good for you!

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SEESTARS 9/8/2010 9:57AM

    So glad you posted a photo! You look great!

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JENNFIT24 9/8/2010 9:05AM

    You look great:)
Work it sista emoticon

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AMOHAME2 9/8/2010 8:36AM

    Looking amazing lady!!

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KATHLOW 9/8/2010 7:55AM

    super!!!

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CHICAT63 9/8/2010 7:26AM

    emoticon hot Sista walking ! You look great, cute shoes too.

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WINDLEG 9/8/2010 7:05AM

    That is awesome for you!!! Thanks for sharing! Btw, cute shoes, too!!!

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MRSSIBRAT 9/8/2010 6:50AM

    you look great!!

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TRACYZABELLE 9/8/2010 12:27AM

    Beautiful!

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COLD_GOLD 9/7/2010 10:55PM

    that is just lovely, and you can dress it up so many different ways! What a great neckline! very flattering... you make that dress look good!

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THREEE 9/7/2010 10:51PM

    NEAT! emoticon

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IMKFOX 9/7/2010 10:43PM

    Looks great and it makes you feel great - it's the perfect LBD!
emoticon

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ANGELOO29 9/7/2010 10:25PM

    You look great!

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SWEETPEA0214 9/7/2010 9:36PM

    Love it and you look great in it. Way to go girl. All of your hard work is paying off.

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LUCKYDOGFARM 9/7/2010 9:29PM

    BEAUTIFUL Ashley1977, just like YOU!!

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PUDLECRAZY 9/7/2010 9:28PM

    Ooh, Honey, you are lookin' GOOD!

Really - fabulous!

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KATHYJO56 9/7/2010 9:24PM

    You look so beautiful in that dress. It is every bit as cute as you said it was and girl, you do it justice. emoticon

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HEALTHYONE2008 9/7/2010 9:20PM

    Looking good! You sure are beaming.

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DETERMINDCHICKY 9/7/2010 9:14PM

    Everyone needs a little black dress that makes them feel pretty and worthy. emoticon

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LOSIN4MYSELF 9/7/2010 9:10PM

    You look great!!! What a cute dress.

I will be posting a dress picture of my own after this weekend. There is just something very satisfying about putting on a dress and LOVING the way it looks and feels on.

You go girl!!!

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MOMTO3BOYZ2000 9/7/2010 9:08PM

    You are looking great girl!! But the absolute best part of the pic is the big smile across your face! You are beaming!

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CAROLX914 9/7/2010 9:07PM

    nice dress and you look AMAZING in it...

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LOSETHEWTIN08 9/7/2010 9:01PM

    You look amazing!

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TYCA41458 9/7/2010 8:57PM

    Love it! You look awesome!

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MUSTANGMISSY 9/7/2010 8:52PM

    Almost bought the same dress the other day! Looks absolutely gorgeous!

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CUATROMOMMY 9/7/2010 8:39PM

    Looks like you've found the perfect little black dress. You look great in it. I love the flip flops too. I'm a flip flop girl too.

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TEACHERANG 9/7/2010 8:37PM

    I love that dress! You look so beautiful and girlie!

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MOMTORISSA 9/7/2010 8:36PM

    Adorable!! Every girl needs a cute little black dress in her closet - and you found yours. Lane Bryant has some super cute clothes! Your hard work is showing!

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GODDESSLIL80 9/7/2010 8:17PM

    Love it! And you look so happy and confident too.

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RHONDA_11 9/7/2010 8:16PM

    Beautiful! emoticon Rhonda

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FIZZYBALL 9/7/2010 8:12PM

    You look fantastic!

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 9/7/2010 8:10PM

    you look beautiful! emoticon

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MCSNYDER1 9/7/2010 8:06PM

    Beautiful!

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ROSEWCI 9/7/2010 7:54PM

    emoticon Look at awesome you!

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SWEETNEENI 9/7/2010 7:51PM

    Prettiness! emoticon

I just had a "black dress" moment myself on Sunday! It feels SO GOOD, doesn't it?

Wear it proudly! You look lovely!



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JMERLAU 9/7/2010 7:50PM

    whistles....cat calls.....you look great Ashley...CONGRATS!!

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My first post 60 lb weightloss shopping trip

Monday, September 06, 2010

I wrote a blog a month or so ago about the joys of my first shopping trip that I have enjoyed in recent memory. Clothes fit, no tears, it was pretty awesome. My second attempt at shopping, not so much. I went to Kohl's and I have to tell you the inferior quality of the clothing really does impact how everything fits. I felt like an obese freak in everything. The clothes just hung horribly. Just 2 months ago I would have left there in tears, a self defeated mess convinced I was too fat to ever buy normal clothing.
I sell catering which also means I am a party planner. Looks are very important in my line of work. I made a decision this past week that I will just buy nicer clothing but less pieces so that I can still look sharp without going broke. At first I wasn't going down in size very frequently but this past weekend my hunny and I decided to hit the labor day sales. My clothes have gotten so big that some are just literally falling off and belting them makes me look ridiculous. I had to face the fact that I desperately need some new items. Would you want to buy a 40K wedding from someone who looked like a hot mess? I wouldn't. So off to Lane Bryant we went. I have a love hate relationship with the good old LB. See I hate her because I feel like she is a symbol of being too fat to shop in an average store but I like her because the quality is generally good and I can find basic pieces there that are less golden girls than say Macy's. I did some window shopping on the website before hand so I could see what I was looking for. There was this really elegant black dress that is still sexy but work appropriate but still could be used in my personal life that I loved.
I still have that syndrome where I automatically grab a 28 off the rack even though I am not even close to that size. I wish my mind would catch up with my body a little faster. The biggest size they had was an 18/20. I turned to walk away and then I thought "what do I have to lose? It might fit". I grabbed it and other shirt dress I liked as well as a few sweaters and some dress pants. I tackled the dress I wanted first. I took a deep breath and pulled it over my head and guess what? IT FIT! Not only did it fit but it looking FLIPPING AWESOME. I froze and just stared at myself in the mirror. This is again the smallest size I have purchase in my whole adult life. Picture me break dancing in the dressing room. emoticon I am still in shock over it. A size that is in the teens! Woot woot. I went out of the dressing room to show the man who was dutifully sitting in his man chair and his eyes lit up. Even the girl in the next dressing room stared at me in envy and yup I loved it. I wouldn't have cared if anything else fit that day. That dress makes me feel so gorgeous. As luck would have it almost everything fit that day.
The best thing I realized on this trip is that now instead of beating myself up when something doesn't fit I shrug it off and think it just isn't right for my body shape. That has never happened before. The first item that didn't fit would be reason for me to give up entirely and berate myself for days. I feel so free. Free of self doubt, self hate, so many of my neurosis. It makes this all so worth it!
After that we did some shopping for him at Macy's. He got this great new cologne by Chanel called Bleu. If your men like cologne's check it out. It is tres sexy.
Then we headed over to Old Navy where the next most awesome thing ever happened. I wanted to try these really cute casual boots I saw on their website but I am weird about how boots fit on my calf. I don't like the stuffed sausage look. The boots fit great and my calves are definitely smaller. Score. On the way out I saw these adorable sweater and it was so soft. I touched it longingly, I am totally a tactile shopper, and started to walk away. Then I stopped and thought "why am I always willing to doubt myself?" I pulled out the biggest size and held it up to me. I knew it would fit. Already tired of shopping I decided I could return it if I didn't like it. My fiance, bless his heart, was convinced it would be too big. See why I love this man so much? When I got up to pay I won a ten dollar off my order coupon, score, so I had a pretty rocking day. When I got home and tried on the sweater it fit perfect. I BOUGHT MY FIRST SHIRT IN AN AVERAGE STORE. Granted it is a 2XL but screw the nitpicking. I bought it damn it and it looks so cute. Old Navy does not sell plus size in the store, only online, and there is no W after the size so it is average size clothing. Every little victory like this keeps me going. Woohooooooo. This journey is freakin awesome.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMPLE_TAILOR 9/16/2010 10:31AM

    I got the same feeling when I got out of the husky section. It is nice to be able to go pretty much everywhere now (except Abercrombie, but I don't like the smell in there anyway).

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GIANTMICROBE 9/12/2010 1:41PM

    This blog made me smile!!!! HOORAY!!!!

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POLKADOTREVIVAL 9/10/2010 2:38PM

    Sounds like you had an awesome day!
Congratulations :)

And Chanel Bleu smells so good.

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SKINNYPOWELL1 9/10/2010 1:58PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon I can totally relate. Good job on all your hard work.

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SWELL10 9/10/2010 12:34PM

    Isn't it the BEST feeling to buy smaller stuff!!! Makes ya wanna do cartwheels right there in the store! Rock on Girl! emoticon

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COSMOS 9/10/2010 9:45AM

  Buying a sweater in an average size store is a HUGE accomplishment! Yea!

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SMOCKON 9/9/2010 10:52AM

    I'm dancing with you! What a great feeling to put on something and feel fantastic in it. Go you!

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HELLORITA 9/8/2010 9:43PM

    I have found some cool things at the Dress Barn also.

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FARLEY_GIRL 9/8/2010 2:39PM

    Congratulations!!! LMAO @ the Golden Girls comment...so right on target!!!!

@Ribgy31 -- Nordstrom Encore? I think I'll have to look it up!!!

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KELI-RHODES 9/7/2010 10:53PM

    That is so exciting!!! I can't wait!!!!

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LOSIN4MYSELF 9/7/2010 9:18PM

    Girl, right up until the Old Navy part, I could have written this blog myself. Cant tell you how many dressing rooms I have walked out of in tears. And just this past week, I walked into Jones New York, and there was a BEAUTIFUL blue dress on the rack. I had to have it. I checked and the largest they had was a 20. Bummed, I decided to try it, determine if I needed a 22 or a 24 and see if they could locate my size at another store. Put it on, and it fit. I almost shreiked in the dressing room.

My point here is not to go on about me, but to let you know that I am feeling you, and what this shopping trip did for you. You are doing AWESOME, and I am sooo proud of you!

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ALLBW2U 9/7/2010 8:28PM

    Very, VERY cool!! Good for you!!!

I used to hate shopping, because nothing ever fit. Other people look good in nice clothes, but I looked horrible.

After dropping some weight, I was forced to buy some clothes because nothing fit that was in my closet. My first experience buying jeans went well and they came home with me.

My second trip started out terrible, because nothing fit. Then I discovered that the terrible quality control that goes into the manufacturing of clothes makes for a tough time buying clothes. Now when I find something that I like, I take at least 3 of the same size with me to the dressing room. One will have an inseam that is way too long. Another will be tight around the waist. And....if all goes well....one of the three will fit just right. So I don't let those lousy fitting clothes get me down. I have seen those that fit just right....and now I keep on looking until I find the next ones.

I wish you the very best as you continue to clothes shop....and work towards your goals.

Hope you have a great rest of the week.....Bill

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LUCKYDOGFARM 9/7/2010 5:00PM

    ASHLEY1977T,

Way To Go! do you realize that this latest trip to LB was your last? since you just bought the smallest size they sell, you are OUT OF THERE!!!!

WOOHOO!!

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LUCYSUNFLOWER 9/7/2010 2:52PM

    I am so happy for you! Your blog made my day... Thanks for sharing your clothes shopping story!

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PEARCEC5 9/7/2010 1:59PM

    I have went shopping with my wife many times now and I agree. Plus size stuff in the department stores always looks grandma'ish. congratulations on shopping successfully and for your tremendous job of getting healthier!

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LITTLEONEJLC 9/7/2010 12:30PM

    Way to go, Ashley! emoticon

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HEALTHYKIM101 9/7/2010 11:37AM

    You Go Girl! emoticon emoticon

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RIGBY31 9/7/2010 11:31AM

    Congrats! Shopping is sooo fun. I, too, didn't like the fit or quality LB or Avenue, until I tried Nordstrom Encore! Quality clothes and the pants truly fit my body.

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LOOKY-LOU 9/7/2010 10:51AM

    Loved this blog...it made me emoticon

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SEESTARS 9/7/2010 10:45AM

    Love it!

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KJDOESLIFE 9/7/2010 10:20AM

    Great job! Enjoy that dress!!

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MEEMMOM 9/7/2010 6:42AM

    emoticon

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KATHLOW 9/7/2010 4:40AM

    So nice to hear this! You are an inspiration, I want to go out and buy smaller sizes now (unfortunately not quite there yet ;-)).

Way to go!

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TRACYZABELLE 9/7/2010 3:44AM

    WOW!! That is awesome!! COngrats

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NANHBH 9/7/2010 2:45AM

    Ashley,

I LOVE your enthusiasm! Congrats on another successful, confidence-building shopping trip!

Be well,
Nancy
emoticon

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LOSING107 9/7/2010 1:39AM

    Kohl's rarely has any decent clothes unless you are no bigger than size 8 (or around that size anyway)!

I'm happy for you that you found some things you love, congrats on moving down to a smaller dress size!

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MOMTO6PLUS2 9/7/2010 12:23AM

    So happy for you!!

emoticon

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JUST_SIMONE 9/7/2010 12:08AM

    Congratulations! That sounds like an awesome shopping experience! I love that you can get beyond something not fitting by shrugging it off and deciding it's not right for your body type. That's a great attitude and something I need to remind myself of when I can't squeeze my thighs into the jeans I want.

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RUNNINGOLLIE 9/7/2010 12:06AM

    Glad you had such a great shopping trip!!! Great job mutli-tasking and hitting all the stores in one day! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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AMETHYST73 9/6/2010 11:23PM

    Congratulations darling, what an achievement. Yay you!

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FORTUNATEFOOL74 9/6/2010 11:18PM

    Awesome! Way to go! It feels good when you realize it's the clothes and not you!

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13-1GIRL 9/6/2010 10:43PM

    emoticon emoticon

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MADEMCHE 9/6/2010 10:28PM

    So happy for you Ash! Way to go!

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BEFIT_WITHGUSTO 9/6/2010 10:20PM

    Congrats!! You should definitely post a pic of you in your sexy new dress!

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CHANGINGMORGAN 9/6/2010 10:13PM

    This is awesome! Way to go homie!!!

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HEALTHYONE2008 9/6/2010 9:50PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon You rock girl!

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RHONDA_11 9/6/2010 9:48PM

    emoticonThat is so great! Old Navy's stuff runs small too! If you are on facebook, look up Missus Smartypants. She gives great style tips and wants people to dress for their body and not try to hide under baggy stuff that is just unflattering. Woo hoo for you! emoticon

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TINA5318 9/6/2010 9:38PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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POOKAQUEEN 9/6/2010 9:21PM

    That's so awesome! Good job! Congrats!

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FIZZYBALL 9/6/2010 9:16PM

    woot woot...

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MUSTANGMISSY 9/6/2010 8:45PM

    Woo Hoo! That's awesome! I was as LB today too and saw some great stuff. I'm finally fitting into 18/20's too. Haven't been able to do that since 2000 so I know how awesome you must be feeling right now. So super happy for you, girl! You're doing an awesome job. Be proud!

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COLD_GOLD 9/6/2010 8:35PM

    wow! I am sooo happy to read this post! Good job! go 101010 team!

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SEANSAUNT 9/6/2010 8:23PM

    Woo hoo!!!! emoticon

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SHERRYLHBB 9/6/2010 7:52PM

    If you could see me now, you would see me cheering! Woohoo!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LINDAGRAVEL 9/6/2010 7:50PM

    emoticon emoticon

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SARAHSHRTY 9/6/2010 7:50PM

    That's awesome! Congrats girl! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TARAH85 9/6/2010 7:49PM

    I think it's time for a picture! Great job!

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_COSMOPAULATAN_ 9/6/2010 7:49PM

    Congrats honey, that's amazing!

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 9/6/2010 7:48PM

    Oh Ashley, I'm so happy for you! I had a similar experience at a store this weekend with a jacket.I bought it just because I was soooo excited that it fit, not because I needed it *tee hee* It's a wonderful feeling, and before you know it, you'll be in single digits! Where are the PICS?!?!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KATHYJO56 9/6/2010 7:45PM

    Isn't that one of the most awesome feelings in the world to be able to buy things in a normal store at normal sizes and look great!!!! I am so freakin' happy for you! emoticon

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Caloric Cycling-What do you think?

Friday, September 03, 2010

So if you don't know caloric cycling is a method to prevent plateaus and maximize fat burn and minimize lean tissue loss but varying you caloric intake significantly but still meeting your overall weekly caloric deficit.
For example, if you want to lose 1 lb per week and you burn 2300 calories a daily, than you would need to consume 1800 calories a day to create a caloric deficit of 3500 for the week.
With caloric cycling you would still want a deficit of 3500 calories but each day would be different. For example...
S 2000
M1500
T1800
W1600
T 2200
F1700
S 1900
Higher caloric days are supposed to coincide with days of working out.

The owner of the gym my mom works at whole heartedly believes in this method. I tend to listen to his advice because he has a degree in exercise physiology and I respect his expertise. I personally have found I do have better results when I maintain a much great variety in my diet and I don't eat the same number of calories daily. The weeks that I have lost the least weight were when I ate at the lowest level of my calories consistently day to day.
So what do you think? Is this something you have tried? Do you think it is all bs? I am curious.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMPLE_TAILOR 9/13/2010 12:54PM

    There is no doubt to the validity of this. Keep us posted on how this is working for you.

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SWELL10 9/10/2010 12:38PM

    This works for me. I was stuck on a plateau and started reading. I joined the calorie cycling team and they have a calorie calculator link to tell how many calories you need to lose weight and apparently with all the exercise my calorie needs were higher. I upped my calorie range and tried to consciously cycle my calories and the plateau broke. It seems to help keep your body guessing and you can be less rigid in your calories each day -- some days high end and some days low end. Good luck with it. emoticon

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HELLORITA 9/8/2010 9:40PM

    I believe it. I went to physical therapy for 1 hour then evercised in a pool for an hour and I was truly hungry. I did make a big salad with tuna white beans lettace etc. but was still so hungry I made a half bean sandwich. Now that is down right desperate!

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FARLEY_GIRL 9/8/2010 2:43PM

    Thanks for pointing this out.....something I will have to look into :-) emoticon

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MOMTO6PLUS2 9/7/2010 12:33AM

    I believe this works-- I was doing this without realizing that there was an actual term for it! The way it's been happening with me was not as planned out like your example, though-- I eat at the low end of my range (1200 cal), then every other week, or so, I'd have a meal, or a couple of meals that would bump up my calories (NOT a binge or anything like that-- just a few hundred calories up). The next week, I'd have a good loss. I've recently noticed the pattern.

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SCHENPOSSIBLE 9/6/2010 10:46PM

    I'm a firm believer in calorie cycling. It has been really fruitful for me.

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13-1GIRL 9/6/2010 10:43PM

    I've never tried it!! FYI there is an actual sparkteam on here for that!

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KRISKECK 9/6/2010 7:35PM

    I believe it works - I don't do it on purpose but I have noticed when I vary my intake (and I naturally seem to be hungrier when my workouts are tougher -- go figure!) that my weight loss is as much or more than when I consistently eat at the lower end of my calorie range. I think it fools my body out of thinking we are going into starvation mode and plateauing (is that a word?).

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KATHLOW 9/6/2010 9:59AM

    I don't know of anyone who tried this personaly. Should you give it a whirl, let me know! i'm very interested...

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TRACYZABELLE 9/6/2010 4:13AM

    in WW they used to call this the WENDIE plann.. I never did it though..

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EPHSTOP43 9/4/2010 1:29PM

    I've never realized that what I was doing had a name.
I wasn't really doing it intentionally. I'm not perfect every day, but I also don't feel like I am deprived. I eat when I want to eat, moderately, and I work out...
And I've lost 30 so far... this week I'm looking at close to a 4lb loss.
I definitely think keeping your body guessing is the best idea.

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PRETTYINPUNK_04 9/4/2010 12:43PM

    hmm thanks for the idea! Maybe I need to vary my routine in order to lose weight again...Definitely trying it this week emoticon

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LUCKYDOGFARM 9/4/2010 11:10AM

    don't know if i agree or disagree, but here are a few of my thoughts:

Spark is supposed to be a lifestyle change, not a diet. so, what ever we end up doing to loose weight has to be something that we can live with for a month, year, and lifetime.

i tend to eat more calories on my big cardio days than on my low cardio days, so i think that might be just a natural (sub-conscious) way of calorie cycling. your body needs more those days and knows it.



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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 9/4/2010 10:53AM

    I don't know... I'm really curious as to whether or not this works. I do agree that when I have calories at the lower end of my range I don't lose as much... Sounds very interesting!

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BARBARAJ73 9/4/2010 9:59AM

    Never heard of this but it does make some sense... think I'll give it a try
emoticon

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RHONDA_11 9/4/2010 9:18AM

    This works for me as well. I tend to lose more when I eat a little more on a couple days of the week. I work out a lot so I have to make sure I eat enough (that's an odd problem for me to have) emoticon Rhonda

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ASANTIAGO2 9/4/2010 5:03AM

  I think it's great but you have to becareful of getting stuck on too many high calorie days.

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REM-CYCLES 9/4/2010 2:16AM

    I'm doing the same thing, but with a machine I bought in 1998 called a "HealthRider". The days I exercise, I apparently attain about a 1000 calorie deficit according to the "probability math" of sparkpeople.com's website. I did loose a few more pounds since last Saturday. I'm using a heart monitor, a personal trainer recommended it and for me it is working. I wish you well with your exercise

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DESERTFLOWER8 9/3/2010 11:59PM

    I totally believe this works, based on my own unscientific experience. It also happens to dovetail nicely with my natural needs. I find "calorie cycling" to be a relaxed and effective approach to weight loss thaat feels good to me.

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THREEE 9/3/2010 10:19PM

    okay...i think it makes sense to always keep your body guessing...

if you want to read about basically this system, i'd suggest googling JUDDDD...
Johnson's Up Day Down Day Diet...i just haven't gotten organized enough to do it, but it is very similar to caloric cycling...

i say, good luck and let us know what results you get... emoticon

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ANGELOO29 9/3/2010 10:09PM

    I find my body responds the same way - I loose more when I change up the routine. I try to keep it new.

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MSANITAL 9/3/2010 10:00PM

    I am sure it works. but I think I do this any ways but not so adhearing to the calories.. I mean thee are two days out of the week tha I eat more calories then normal and that is not by eating junk it is eating healthy food. but I got to tell ya I am not good and keeping track of numbers in my head. for some reason it makes me dizzy.. but good luck with this if you do it and keep us posted..

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FRECKS96 9/3/2010 9:26PM

    I tend to do this naturally because I HATE to get into food ruts. Even though most of my days tended towards average, I always has a couple high days (usually weekends) and a couple low days (mid-week). I really like looking at the calorie differential over time, it's much more telling-especially with this kind of diet.

For me to plan out exactly how many calories I'm going to eat each day would be too tedious, but when I when I let it happen naturally, it works.

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LBEEKMA 9/3/2010 9:05PM

    I have seen this when I have had a low cal day and then a higher cal day but don't have anything in writing to prove this. Anything complicated is beyond me but I saw this mentioned once in Women's World for a turbo weight watchers plan. I'm trying to be consistent with my calories...working slowly but surely. Let us know how your experiment goes!

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JEREMY723 9/3/2010 9:00PM

    I lost 52 pounds in 4 months this past spring doing a straight calorie goal. Didn't eat the same each day but tried to hit a 300 calorie range. It worked for me, never tried anything else.

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AMOHAME2 9/3/2010 8:59PM

    While I've never tried in on purpose, there have been days where I go over my calorie limit and then cut back for the next couple of days. Those really have been my most successful weeks, so there must be something to this calorie cycling thing!

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SANDBBAR 9/3/2010 8:55PM

    I agree that those weeks that you describe are my best weigh in weeks too! A friend of mine and Spark friend belongs to the Calorie Cycling team and she swears by it, and uses it in addition to WW plan. Why not give it a go? emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/3/2010 8:56:14 PM

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FUZZY1TOO 9/3/2010 8:46PM

    lol Ya know, this is something that I have noticed myself, I just didn't realize that it is actually a weight loss strategy. It does seem to work for me, but I stumbled upon it completely by accident.
Hmmmmmm, definitely something to keep an eye on.
Thanks!
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MOMTORISSA 9/3/2010 8:28PM

    Very interesting! It sure can't hurt to try. It makes sense!

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Learning to love pictures of me

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

I have blogged before of my fear of being photographed. I used to literally dive out of photos or I would do something to purposely ruin it so I had time to get out like put my hand in front of my face. I have seriously about 10 photos of me in the last 10 years. It makes me sad. I missed an entire decade of my life because I chose not to take responsibility for my weight. Even now as I am doing this I don't really understand why it took me so long to do this. To start down this path. SP seems to be the major addition to my life and it is this community that has something so special about it. Ok, done being sappy, onto the point.
The first attempt at progress pics left me in a hysterical hyperventilating state of neurosis. I literally could not stop crying. Even after 40+ lbs I really couldn't see the difference. My mind was so messed up I still saw the old person. It wasn't until I had the courage to post those pics and so many people told me what I couldn't see, that something in my head clicked. I really did not look that bad, you really could see the progress.
This past weekend I hit 60 lbs down so I wanted some new pictures. I also got a cute haircut so I figured it was a good time. Who really ever has their hair professionally blown out for pics? I was sitting there snapping away myspace face pics of myself on my phone and I realized, hey, I don't hate how I look in pictures. Sure, I see flaws but for the first time in my life I can say "hey that won't be there in a few more months". HOW AWESOME IS THAT?
I can remember seeing myself in the mirror and thinking I would keep gaining and so this was the best I was going to get. My fiancÚ even snapped a candid of me on his phone and normally I would have gotten really mad. When he showed it to me I saw the good things in it. Yes, my arm looked way bigger than I would like but that is because it is big lol. It will take time to shrink down but it will happen. I realized that why I hated photos so much was they showed me the truth. Cameras don't lie to us. It hurts to be shown the truth sometimes but remember, you can change your life and it is important to record this part of your history so you can celebrate how far you have come!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMPLE_TAILOR 9/11/2010 4:26PM

    I know exactly how you feel. Still not the biggest fan of the camera, but they aren't my mortal enemy.

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KATHLOW 9/2/2010 8:40AM

    this is so true!

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TRACYZABELLE 9/2/2010 5:41AM

    But cameras can help it will let you see what others see-- I am glad I am taking phootos and will be posting a bathing suit picture at 100 pounds gone

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LUCKYDOGFARM 9/1/2010 11:53PM

    ASHLEY1977T, you are so correct. i do the same thing with pictures of myself. i cannot stand having my picture taken. if someone takes my pic and i don't know, it always turns out okay, but the ones where i have to sit there and "pose", i always cross my eyes, stick out my tongue or something like that. all because i don't want to see the real me!

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HEALTHYONE2008 9/1/2010 10:24PM

    I really have to agree with the last post that we seldom see the changes in ourselves until someone points them out, and then we say WOW "Is that me?/"

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CUATROMOMMY 9/1/2010 9:16PM

    That is awesome. Isn't it funny how if anyone is going to notice our flaws, it will be us. People usually don't see us how we see ourselves.

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 9/1/2010 9:05PM

    I totally get that! I have maybe a handful of pics from the 10 yrs. In retrospect it's upseting because I don't have any real pics of me and the kids even. I can't wait till I feel and look good enough to have family photos taken!

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MSANITAL 9/1/2010 8:06PM

    wow way to go girl..keep on keeping on


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FORLIFE5 9/1/2010 7:09PM

    You express yourself really well. So well that we know ourselves a little better.

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MCSNYDER1 9/1/2010 7:02PM

    I get what you mean! I "think" I'm rather small until I see a picture of myself! Between my height (4'10") and my "girls", I look huge! Aaarrgghhh! But you know, I'm pretty sure we are our own worst critics!
You are looking "mahvelous, darling---just mahvelous!"
Mary

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DRUMMERGURL4HIM 9/1/2010 6:57PM

    Been there done that. I love your attitude girl! Stay positive!!
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LOUFANJESSICA 9/1/2010 5:40PM

    I can relate so much to what you're saying. And I have to say that I really admire your positive outlook on everything!

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JENN26POINT2 9/1/2010 5:20PM

    Great blog! I can't wait until I don't pick apart every pic or delete them before they're shared.

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SHELLPRO 9/1/2010 4:05PM

    It will take time? I never 'saw' how big I was until I'd lost it. Now I have to stop Knit Picking the imperfections. emoticon The mirror is a Truer Tale, and the Photos just stick around longer.

Comment edited on: 9/1/2010 4:06:15 PM

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PERFECTVELVET 9/1/2010 3:57PM

    Way to go! Pictures are fun, but they are generally the tipping point for us. Try to see them for what they are: a snapshot of a certain position which may not be very flattering! You're doing fabulously!

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TEAWONDERFUL 9/1/2010 3:50PM

    I love taking pictures, but am not as found of seeing myself in photos. I guess that's the good thing about being the one taking the photos all the time. Your in them a lot less that way.

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GRACEISENUF 9/1/2010 3:45PM

    I can relate to everything you said. My DD showed me a pic of myself last night taken awhile back and I felt sick....UGH! Every pound I drop the less camera paranoid I become.



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FUZZY1TOO 9/1/2010 3:44PM

    Awesome....I totally concur. Pictures have always been my nemesis, but I'm slowly seeing the benefit.
I'm glad you're getting to like the look of you.....we all think you fantastic already!
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Now on to the home movies!
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MADEMCHE 9/1/2010 3:42PM

    I am so proud of you Ash! You are doing an amazing job and you have come so far! The mental thing is a huge step. so happy for you!

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DSJB9999 9/1/2010 3:39PM

    You are right cameras don't lie but I think sometimes we don't like what we see.

I'm learning to like mine more as my 8 year old keeps photographing me and some are really good.

Keep at it, and love yourself, clearly your fiance does too.

emoticon emoticon

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"You don't look obese anymore"

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

That is what someone told me at the gym on Saturday. At first I got mad, like rip roaring, steam coming out of my ears mad. Then I realized it was supposed to be a compliment on my progress. People do say things that are ignorant and it used to send me into a spiral of self loathing and hatred towards the world but no my life is different. Since I started SP I have been determined to work on my attitude about myself. Nobody ever said anything quite as mean to me as I freely bashed myself.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result and that was exactly what I did before SP. I would be lazy, eat crap food and then beat myself up over why was I fat and miserable? I was that way because I never did anything to change my own situation. So now, when I someone says something like "you don't look obese anymore" I have decided to change my approach. Ignorance is the absence of education regarding a subject and I am not making the situation any better by silently seething. Instead I have chosen to spread the spark.
I know my gym friends intention was good. She meant to say I am looking so much better and I looked just like every other person who is just overweight at the gym. I took the time to talk about what I had been doing and how I was getting those results. Instead of always focusing on myself and internalizing every single comment I realized everything is not ALL ABOUT ME. I think I have been so caught up in my own self hatred that I wasn't seeing the big picture. If someone comments on your weight it is for 2 reasons. One they genuinely care about you and are proud of you and happy to see you happy or two they are miserable and so self loathing that their comments are really just projections of their own feelings of inadequacy. When I stop allowing their comments to bring me down and instead off an olive branch in terms of fitness conversation I am turning what would have been a huge blow to my ego just 2 months ago, into something positive. Not all people will accept my olive branch but I feel better knowing I am making my own life better and not giving them the power to hurt me with their own issues.
It feels so good to chose to be happy and accept myself for who I am and where I am in the journey. How have you been handling these kinds of comments?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

2FUN2B_LAZY 9/8/2010 8:53PM

    I can totally relate to your blog. Although that would have made me really angry, I understand the meaning behind it as well. I work with kids who will, without a problem, make a comment relating to my size. Just the other day, I was helping a child with homework and he said "come on over here, big girl".. I just had to let it go and not get to me because I don't think he meant it to hurt my feelings. It is just hard when children know you are bigger and they don't know better than saying something related to it. It's hard to swallow, but I actually have learned to handle it better than I used to -- much like you mentioned.

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TYRADU1983 9/8/2010 5:22PM

    people haven't understood why I am walking everywhere now.. its weird.. its like.. why not? I totally understand where you are coming from.. some people don't think about things before they say them and it comes out all wrong.. like my grandmother.. she would have said something similar to what you heard but it hurts... things will be ok.. the first step is that you realized you had a problem with it and knew how to change your reaction.. Congrats on the weight loss and keep moving forward.. thanks for the blog.. :)

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CECE0330 9/8/2010 3:57PM

    Great blog! We all know how easy it is to take a comment and make it into a dagger that we use to stab ourselves with repeatedly....but we also have the POWER to not let them be a negative comment in the first place!

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APRILBLESS 9/8/2010 3:15PM

    Sometimes it's not just action that shapes your world, but also your REaction. You did really, really good.

You are becoming stronger with every positive REACTION you work for and put out into the world... Keep it going...
emoticon emoticon

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SIMPLE_TAILOR 9/8/2010 3:01PM

    That's a fantastic way to approach it.

Kudos for spreading the spark.

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MAMADWARF 9/6/2010 3:26PM

    You are very wise and I love that you have turned this around. You are the BOMB! (and people are stupid).

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TINA5318 9/2/2010 5:56PM

    Wow! Good for you, on making yourself stronger, both mentally and physically.

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LILMISSRED79 9/2/2010 4:29PM

    You know.. someone at my gym actually said something along the lines of.. "When I first saw you here, you were a lot fatter. You look good now!" I was so blown away by the "compliment" that I couldn't help myself, I just started laughing.

The intentions are good, the phrasing could use a little work. The important thing is that you're progressing- not only in terms of physical fitness, but emotional awareness as well- that's awesome!

Good for you and all of your hard work!

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SUNNYSOCALGIRL 9/2/2010 3:40PM

    Thanks for your post on my blog Ashley...it looks like you have had similar experiences. Like your friend, I think my friend intended a compliment (albeit a back-handed one), but she should have stopped before making the "pregnant" comment. In any event, I agree that people are going to say things and we can choose to let it get us down or not. In all fairness, for every back-handed compliment I get, I receive 4 or 5 gracious ones. The day after the "pregnancy" comment, another friend of mine gave me a very sincere compliment and seemed geniuinely proud of me. Those make up for the other ones! Good for you for choosing to stay positive!

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CARMINACG 9/1/2010 4:20PM

    Wow - Did your friend realize her choice in words were seriously wrong and appoligize for the comment? I sincerly hope so!

'Obese' isnt a word that I think people should use when talking about other peoples weightloss accomplishments! There are so many more positive ways to let friends/family know there hard work is being noticed! Its like sometimes people are oblivious on how hurtful or thoughtless there comments can be!

Throughout my own journey comments have come at me from all angles, from diffent friends, family members and aquaintences. However, its pretty easy to see when people are sincerly meaning the comment as a praise. If its of a positive nature then I accept it, thank them and move on. Lets face it, its nice they have made the effort to let me know their thoughts.

However, when the comment is made in a snide, hurtful, even obliviously stupid way I have no quams to nip that behaviour in the Butt! Litterly! I will frankly look at the person and tell them that through all my hard work I dont deserve to be belittled for my acomplishments, and will not put up with it. I tell them to keep their comments to themselves and its not appreicated nor will it happen again. I try to be as tactful as I can, (ie. dont bash them) so it cannot be misconstrued as stooping to their level.

I wrote a entry on my blog called Friend OR Foe? If you want to give it a read on what happend to me.

However, I made the decision I felt was right at the time, and 'talked it out' since then so things are not repeating themselves over and over.

I know your a smart cookie and will be able to see the positives from the negatives when situations like these crop up again! Best of luck to you on your journey you are doing an AWESOME job! :)



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DSJB9999 9/1/2010 3:40PM

    I didn't know what to say when someone said I looked 'normal' now, but sometimes you have to turn the other cheek and walk away!

Keep at it, you're going great guns.


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COLD_GOLD 9/1/2010 3:32PM

    hey fellow 101010 member! Ahh... those kinds of comments are so awkward to handle. Good job for re-framing it in your mind and recognizing the intention behind it. I am working on that myself right now... choosing how I let people's comments affect me. Soo tricky.

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DAWNDMOORE40 9/1/2010 8:39AM

    emoticonI am glad that you decided to look at what your friend said in a positive way! I am sure she meant it to make you feel good and that you should be proud of yourself for all that you have accomplished! emoticon emoticonI know you will be that light to shine on others who need your emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/1/2010 8:45:07 AM

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MGRIFFITH32 9/1/2010 7:18AM

    Okay, I know she meant well, but it would have been all I could do to keep from saying, "And you don't really sound mentally challenged." Her word choice was, um, strange. What about, "You're looking good" or "You're losing weight?" I guess I need to think about what I say today. Sometimes our brains and mouths don't connect! You're rocking it. Keep it up!

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SANDSTRA 9/1/2010 7:09AM

    This is awesome! I love your 2 reasons why people comment on weight loss, it makes perfect sense to me. It seems this journey is making you stronger in more ways than one! Keep on Sparklin'! emoticon

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MADEMCHE 9/1/2010 1:10AM

    You are amazing and you look wonderful. You looked wonderful then too, just different and when this is all over you will look wonderful then as well. But the same beautiful, special person that we all love is there inside, growing and changing every day. That is what this is all about. That is why we are here, so glad you are teaching others to be better every day!

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MOMTO3BOYZ2000 8/31/2010 10:21PM

    The only time it has really bothered me is when a co-worker, meaning well of course, made a BIG deal out of it and went on and on - loudly. Then pulled another co-worker over and said, "Doesn't she look so good and thin?" What could the other co-worker do, now that she was put on the spot, but agree.
I don't mind the comments so much....but please don't make a big fuss about it and embarrass me in front of a lot of people.

I liked the way you handled your situation!

**And BTW...you DO look fantastic!**

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FIZZYBALL 8/31/2010 9:19PM

    yea you turned what could have been a negative outcome and turned it into a positve exchange...mental health is a priority during this journey.

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CARILOUIE 8/31/2010 7:40PM

    It's funny - I rarely get offended by what people say about my weight loss. There is a woman in my district who subs sometimes; she's really noticed my weight loss. She told another teacher "She (meaning me) used to be so big but now look!" Ha! I have to admit, it's partly her Eastern European accent that makes it a little easier to handle...

But good for you for not getting upset. I think sometimes it's hard for people to find just the right words to compliment weight loss. Nobody wants to say "wow, you were really fat," but it's hard to come up with the right words sometimes. (Little do they know, a "you look great" works just fine.)

You are doing such a great job and I love reading about your experiences!

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_COSMOPAULATAN_ 8/31/2010 7:06PM

    You are better than me. I would have punched her in the face! Ok, maybe not really but I would have wanted to!

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MCSNYDER1 8/31/2010 6:39PM

    Good for you, Ashley! It is usually best to react the way you did. Perhaps this person doesn't know any other way to be complimentary. You took the higher ground a reacted with grace.
I think you are doing a marvelous job! We are so lucky to be part of such a magnificent team! Always positive, always caring! Way to go, girl!
MAry

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DINGALLSTOO 8/31/2010 5:25PM

    Just for the record, the other day my BIL was trying to be complimentary and he said "you have legs now" like no wonder I wasn't moving-I had no legs before!!! He also said that he didn't recognize me from behind, when he saw me bent over. I just consider the source. He was trying. emoticon

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JMERLAU 8/31/2010 4:18PM

    LIFE is all about choices.......I'm glad you've made the RIGHT choice Ashley!!

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BEARDMUSIC 8/31/2010 4:04PM

    You are so right about the terrible things we say to ourselves when we are out of control! Loved the blog!

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STEPH_MORRIS 8/31/2010 2:02PM

    I always love reading your blogs. Of all the hundreds of sparkpages I have looked at day by day, I am always coming back to yours. Something about the way you word things and the absolutely beautiful outlook on life that you have really inspires me to try harder when I want to give up, and makes me want to better myself, for me... and not for anyone else.

Take what your "gym friend" said and just smile quitely inside, because our outside appearances can all be changed if we put enough faith in ourselves. People that are ignorant/socially clueless about how to treat and talk to others will end up having a harder time in the long run. One of the most valuble assests to have as a human being is to have compassion, and empathy and girl you've got it. If we cross paths with someone in the "ignorant" category, it is up to us to help them learn.

much love, keep sparking, and know that each and every comment that you make on my page is appreciated and welcomed.

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LUCKYDOGFARM 8/31/2010 1:19PM

   
ASHLEY1977T, What you have said is sooo true! sometimes we are too ready to be offended by others. ready to take everything wrong, negative. the same way this world is turning, and we see and hear it every day on the news. maybe not about weight issues, but skin colors, nationality, sex, etc. people are just uneducated and we have to take the time to teach them.



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KISSIMS19 8/31/2010 12:02PM

    Great blog - as always :) It's so easy to relate to you on so many levels. I've found keeping my attitude (especially about myself) positive as one of the most difficult things to do along this journey. I can rely on you to pick me back up. Thanks for being here and sharing!!! Spread the spark!

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BOURNBABE 8/31/2010 11:45AM

    emoticon emoticon

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PIINKCUPCAKE 8/31/2010 11:40AM

    How people treat u is their Karma... How u react is urs!
You are amazing and insightful and wonderfully inspiring to me and so many THANK YOU!

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MUSTANGMISSY 8/31/2010 10:32AM

    Good attitude! It's all about responding (or choosing not to) rather than reacting! Some people mean well they just have no filter on their mouths. Your'e doing a great job!

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GRACEISENUF 8/31/2010 10:27AM

    Great attitude and that person has no tact!

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DESERTFLOWER8 8/31/2010 10:18AM

    how is it that you got to be so darn wise??? kudos to you, miss ashley!! your comments will be very helpful to me with my own issues...

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ANASONIC 8/31/2010 10:11AM

    Good for you for taking that ill-worded compliment and changing it around. I had something similar happen not too long ago and I am amazed at the insensitivity of people. You handled it with grace, rose above it and turned it into a positive. emoticon

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MRSGOFARR 8/31/2010 10:03AM

    i agree that you handled it well. much better then me. it is always shocking that people feel they can say whatever the hell they want to you. ive gotten comments over the years and it just does nto even surprise me anymore!

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KEL_BEL_FX3 8/31/2010 9:56AM

    you handled that so well, I think I would have been steaming mad at first as well. I'm not sure I couldn't have replied with, "thank you for the compliment but you know you might want to phrase it differently for the next person you want to compliment or they may get really mad."

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 8/31/2010 9:54AM

    That's a great way to look at things positively!

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POOKAQUEEN 8/31/2010 9:44AM

    This blog and some of the comments on it made me stop and think. How many times have I deflected a compliment, no matter how it was worded? How many times have I taken those comments and stuffed them down inside to seeth about? Too many to count. Thank you for sharing, you've given me insight into myself.

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PERFECTVELVET 8/31/2010 9:31AM

    A lot of people have trouble structuring intelligent sentences. I would have taken it as a compliment but, like you, been annoyed at the wording. (I will say, I can't wait until my Wii Fit calls me overweight instead of obese -- that will be a good day!)

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AEBROWNSON 8/31/2010 9:25AM

    One of the hardest things to learn when you have been down on yourself for so long is to smile and say "Thank you." A friend of mine told me I was looking good and I said "Yeah, but I still have xx weight to lose." She turned to me and said, "Say Thank You." What a wake-up call! I think that most people, even when they make tactless comments, really mean well, and I am learning to accept those comments/compliments graciously.

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NEENSTER1 8/31/2010 9:11AM

    Yes I agree it could have been said differently. But it was meant as a compliment. That's a good thing that they are noticing your hard work at the gym is paying off and that is emoticon In a couple of months I wonder what they will say. Be Encouraged and have a good day. Your emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/31/2010 9:18:33 AM

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LUVDOGZ 8/31/2010 8:58AM

    What a great attitude to what was a thoughtless comment. Our minds are powerful things aren't they? Thanks for blogging about this. I need to try to be careful on how I process things others say to me. I am my own worst critic. Great blog! Keep up the great work!

emoticon emoticon emoticonMichelle

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SUPERSMILE37 8/31/2010 8:54AM

    Great attitude and yes not all about you.

However, that would initially upset me too. I don't like it when people comment on my body. Except my Hubby he can do it... he says things like .. oh your tummy is getting a bit smaller.. or we need to get you a new XXXX that one is a bit big.

Anyone else I can't do that with out offending me. When they say oh you are doing so much better or you have lost a ton of weight... it makes me feel like what when I was bigger I was unacceptable to you? I know it is not rational it is what it is.

You are doing great!!! Awesome Attitude

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LOUFANJESSICA 8/31/2010 8:39AM

    That was an insensitive thing for your gym friend to say and I can totally understand why you initially were ticked off! And seriously, that is so awesome that you didn't lose your cool and kept a positive attitude. You rock, girl!!! emoticon

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MKT-PLAN 8/31/2010 8:27AM

    You're awesome!

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PEARCEC5 8/31/2010 8:20AM

    I would have just considered it a compliment. It might have been phrased better but saying you dont look obese anymore is a good thing, right? I think you are on the right track of letting go of the self hatred and learning to take a compliment no matter how off color it was. BTW, you are definitely looking great! Keep it up! emoticon

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MELTINGMIMI 8/31/2010 8:17AM

    Attitude is everything!! Keep up the GREAT work!!
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K82BTHIN 8/31/2010 8:15AM

    What a great attitude. You handled it very well. I am still at the stage in my journey where I would rip their heads off.

Smile and nod. I just can't help wanting to say, "and I see your lack of proper judgement in choosing words wisely hasn't changed yet."

You did great!

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KATHLOW 8/31/2010 8:11AM

    not the most sensitive comment...but you handled it very nicely! Way to go on your progress ash! I need to learn this too, I would NEVER say things as mean to someone else that I say to me...and let's keep in mind that I have a misanthropic streak, so i'm not that nice to begin with :-)

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BLYNN710 8/31/2010 8:07AM

    You are doing great! I love your attitude, keep up the awesome work.

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NATKITA 8/31/2010 8:06AM

    It still amazes me how insensitive people can be...but what amazes me more is your wonderful attitude toward it. I need to take a page from your book next time someone says something thoughtless like that. Thank you for the reminder to look at it from a much healthier perspective! You rock!

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