Tuesday, August 17, 2010
So I am rounding out week 7 on SP and I just realized this is when I would always quit in the past. The weight loss coach I saw several years back, who was awesome, helped me realize that it is so important to recognize self destructive patterns in our own dieting behavior and it was like a light went off. I would always be crazy into it the first 3 weeks and lose a ton of weight. Then I would get cocky and let me portions creep back up at weeks 4 and 5 which we lead to a gain at week 6 and then apathy at week 7. By then I would start looking for excuses for my "cheating" and by week 8 I would be done. Convinced I had failed again and couldn't lose weight.
When I reflect on this cycle now I see it really had to do with my attitude. I viewed it as punishment. This was a diet and I was not supposed to enjoy it and I needed to punish myself for all these years I wasn't concerned with what I ate. I dreamed of the day when I was off the diet and could eat again. No wonder I always failed, I was setting myself up every time.
After vacation this past week I was really hungry over the weekend and really wanting to make poor choices and it started to scare me. I will admit up until this weekend making the healthy choices has been pretty easy for me. We went to the movies last week and my fiancÚ wanted to get popcorn. I said, "sure but tell them no butter and no extra salt and ask them to trade a water for the soda" over my shoulder as I headed to the ladies room. As I walked away I was laughing to myself thinking, who was that person? I didn't even have to think about it and the healthy choice just came right out. I felt proud because I realized how much I have changed my attitude. Then monster hunger hit this weekend and I was afraid I was going to screw up. Then I realized a) the TOM was coming and I always have this hunger surge hit me the weekend before so this was normal and b) I need to pay better attention to my bodies natural rhythms and instead of fighting them I need to learn to plan ahead. My past is not my future and I am enjoying this journey. It is different for all of us and we have to figure out what works for us to keep the momentum forward. Little setback, like the great pizza incident of Sunday evening, are not a reason to berate ourselves or a reason to quit. There is no other option for me anymore. I can't go back to my old life. I can't live obese anymore. I hope you come with me, we can do it together.
So tell me, what did you use in the past as a reason to quit?
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