Friday, January 18, 2013
All this comes down to choices. WE are in charge of our choices for the most part unless we are not able to do for ourselves and are in hospital etc. and even then we can voice an opinion. Well I am not in the hospital and am still able to do for myself. SO IT IS MY CHOICE.
Hmmm interesting, cos I SAY my choice is to be healthy, fit, strong, happy, live long, live self reliant but I am certainly not living up to any of this. I am going down the road to being unhealthier, not fit nor strong, not happy with myself, and shortening my life and my self reliant capabilities.
I CHOSE STRENGTH as my word this year. Have I allready forgotten all the possibilites and hope that I had a week ago as I wrote that word and the beginning of my page over. I did say at the time, track record for resolutions and goals at this time is bad. Fall is my time of year for beginnings, but that is no reason to forget and totally abandon ship.
I enjoyed a long weekend of helping my dd and hanging out with her. It was busy, hard work and fun. But I didnt plan, didn't think, well yea I did, I thought like my reg. ole self not someone bent on working to change things for the better. We ate and we had 2 drinks. We didnt' over indulge but that amt of sugar, and wheat has messed with me ever since. I can't seem to get back on track.
Here's the thing, was I ever on a NEW improved track?? NO I know I wasn't because nothing really has changed. Meals are the same, moving hasn't changed partially from my bad cough, partially cos I CHOSE to use the excuse I don't know what to do or how. BS as I have a few dvds, I have pages from magazines, I have exercises on here. COME ON yes I want someone to come to my house and help me. I can't really afford that but did I even check it out? no......... my sister in law keeps finding excuses as she is worried she will get me to do something that will hurt my back. I don't think so.
So today, I am putting this puter up off table, getting my notebook out, my cookbooks out( my new ones, spark, clean eating, and paleo ones) and planning. I will check what I have in the freezer and go from there. I will learn new ways and make 2 meals if need be. Hubby won't try and won't eat differently cos he figures it will bother his belly. Perhpas not but won't know if he won't try.
Earlier in the month, I blogged about making these plans for exercise, certain days to dd, to work on her machines etc. and other days to work here with what I have. Well felt that was setting myself up for failure cos probably wouldn't go down when I said etc. So in not doing that, I did nothing........ kept my cough as a great excuse. Well dr did say not till I was feeling better. Sitll not 100% but getting there. I did do some arm exercises while watching biggest loser, and I don't eat anymore while watchng that lol. But cos I don't even feel as if I am exercising when I do these arm exercises I tend to say hmmm not doing this right, or enough or whatever so then I just don't. ( Caz all or nothing thinking perfectionism a tad!? naw not me... LOL) Even doing that is better than nothing but not sure why I don't feel anything or sweat. ( yes one or two are hard and I can't do them well at 5lbs but 3 is too small)
Anyway today is a snow day, we are hoping to have company, my sister in law is coming over and ANJAYS-JOURNEY and her hubby are coming in town and will stop over. Presuming these are both weather permitting. I didn't know it was supposed to snow today.
So for now I am off to get my papers, pen, books and such out. I do enjoy it, I do know how, had to do this for my work and my seniors meals, so there is no real reason why not to. It has been laziness on my part.
STRENGTH, and CHOICE are my words for today and everyday.
HUGS and hope you all find the strength to make the choices you need for your journey. and Thanks spark friends for help on the way!
Thursday, January 17, 2013
So vet has called and said Allie is fine and ready to be picked up around 3. So that is a relief $273.00 taxes in. Whew but thats okay we had planned and saved that when we got her.
I got a lot done, all that I wanted to have done while she wasn't there to "help" me! lol
Feel good about that and pleased that finally it is all finished. Back was bad but not as bad as the other day just sweeping.
Snow has stopped and sun is coming out, a nice day out. Well going to go and fold some laundry and put that away. Soon be time to go get our baby - probably conehead! awww
hope all are doing well!!
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Man time flies doesn't it. All the more reason to stop this crazy yo yoing and get smart.
Here is my fav. boy well his dad is a tie for my fav. lol
Thomas and dad were over today for while for his birthday. They weren't having a party and since Anna had a babysitting kid over Chris said they would come here. Only bit of issue was allie as she still jumps when you are as tall as she in on her hind legs and nips a bit. Thomas wasn't impressed but by end of visit we could let alile go for bit. She will learn as will Thomas.
So here you go. the pic with eyes closed is SMILE he smiled so hard he closed his eye. and a cookie something he isn't allowed but dad gave him one for his bday.
The other is him showing me 3. had used his thumb and fingers, then 3 fingers lol
other is 4 generations but thomas was busy looking at a present. oh well impressed another okay pic of me! LOL
What a boy! he certainly may not talk up to speed, but knows his manners. When he was coming in I said oh like your boots thomas, he smiles says thanks. lol
then later he said oh presents!!! thanks guys. lol not sure he realizes what he is really saying is so cute and funny.
then he went wandering and said hey papa, ds says whats up thomas, he saw the container fo cookies I had made ( ginger molasses with very little sugar in them and ds and son inlaw ate almost all hubby finished them off allready) how about............... a cookie?? OH thanks!
then another then hmmm nan how about...............a juice box. lol
anyway had a good morning and could just kiss those cheeks if he would only stay still. Uncle mike said I have to go to work, can I get a kiss and hug. Thomas laughed and started running mike chased him, caught him and Thomas says here you go and kisses him and then says OOOFFF and hugs.
So hubby is watching idol and I can't decide to watch or get ready for bed. Go up and plan some exercise routines with my stuff.... wonder why I never sweat, o get tired when I do weights.Feel as if I am not doing much at all.
Okay off here anyway. hope you enjoyed my boys
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
When I fall I fall hard, always have lol and this time I mean fall of the healthy wagon. Whew.
This weekend well actually friday to monday, I was aching in my back but whatever.
So friday we had pina coladas, yes with rum and added coconut milk, coconut yogurt etc. they were thick and so tasty. Didnt eat much more "bad". Sat spent time with her and we worked and I don't know what I ate, have to look as did write it down but nothing really diff srikes out. Sunday we were busy and we all came here and ordered pizza and had wine compliments of dad. Monday oh I dont know oh yea... cos I had the pizza and whatevr hubby said if you aren't going to do this then don't waste the money on GF stuff as it is so very very $ here. I agreed so we got reg. cin. raisin bagels. I had 2 over the course of the day. Then had whatever. DD hubby bought home the best ever in the land lol (better than mums homemade) restaurant made coconut cream pie. Honestly I don't usually eat pie but that is so good. So dd gave me a pc cos I helped so much. Okay that was today then we went to costco and we both had a twist cone. Supper we had YUK processed chicken burgers, fries and wax beans a la can a consession to something good?!
I feel rotten, tired, sick, blah. not bloated ironically and no bowel issues which usually plauqe me. But just so tired and blah not a lick of energy. The other thing that I am thinking of is the weather is supposed to change, we had snow, then it was warm and all has melted, heard it is supposed to get colder and snow. So............. is it the weather or the food or a combo which it could be... but here we go........................................
......... start at the top! LOL
My L thumb hurt so bad this am, I screamed and woke hubby trying to put on my bra
My R shoulder is hurting to lay on it or when I lean.
My mid back is aching really bad but just an ache
My hips well top of hip side of body lower back need to draw lol are achy
My lower back is really sore if I bend sideways at all partial cos fo painting
Both knees which have been good for almost 2 wks are sore and not wanting to "unlock" all the way
and my L foot is getting sharp pains in the bottom off and on.
OKAY........ when the weather changes yes I ache more but not like this. I have never really noticed what food does other than bowel issues and bloat and heart burn.
So now that I have eaten like a pig, junk and slop, I am ready to stop. Really have no interest in it all now. Thought I was done the other day then dd said coconut pie. yea yea dumb!
How do I keep myself saying do what is good for you... know that this doesnt help your body... what can I do today to make my body and my day better tomorrow, food health or harm... all those things. HOW do I continue day to day. I even said out loud to myself DONT continue you will be so depressed and discouraged if you yet again dont reach these goals. YOU are 56 for for Gods sake you know what to do, you are smarter than this....
I am not angry just tired of falling into the same routine. I am not going to go over and over this and belittle myself, I will just start tomorrow with more determination and planning. SLENDERELLA suggested taking healthy snacks to dd's. I can honestly say I never even though that stuff, just was going to work abit and got hungry. lol After I read her reply, I thought that would have been fun we could have had like a healthy picnic. I have in past few days cut veggies and hummus so not all the time was junk. Just cos have done so well in past month or so that it seems over whelming.
OKAY somehow I have to have a plan, I know no plan means plan to fail, I know that I have to figure what I want to do. do I want to contiue grain free, do I want to do mediteranian, can I do that cos when I have some carbs esp breads I HAVE to have more. Yes I know willpower etc. but truly do feel as some drs are saying that grain iesp wheat is worse than sugar and I know I am more carb crazy than candy. Do I want to try to do primal paleo which to me is really low carb healthy carbs and just healthy.
I feel like saying okay eat as healthy as you can with reg. foods. but know that it will not work I have never lost any wt doing that and kept it off. I dont know.
So now going to go have a bath, and rest and think positive. Tomorrow is a new day with no junk in the house and I will eat properly and well. I also will walk the dog and do some other exercise too.
HUGS and any replies are welcome. Need ideas, motivation although my health should be enough!
Sunday, January 13, 2013
My son in law has a brother that is a well known thought out Canada and states as a professional photographer, His sister is also a photographer in her own rights and great with animals. She took just casual pics of Zuri when they were home in Oct.
Well son in law just posted this - his sister took head shots for him ( he is an aspiring actor) and took this one too for Lisa........
All I can say it is Allies turn soon and glad they look so much alike cos I can say gee Allie looks just like that LOL
That is allies sister zuri sitting pretty!
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