HEALTHY4ME's Recent Blog Entries

Hmmmm lot of thinking and here we go...

Monday, December 31, 2012

First off lets just say I had a super birthday, one of my best, I wasn't sad, I was happy I enjoyed my breakast with hubby, smiled asked him what he was looking at, he said a beautful you. awee we went to the mall and I bought thanks to dad another bead for my bracelet. Then ds called and they were going to come over, but was easier for us to go there, he and wife and kdis got me a neat set of sound of Music. It has blue ray and reg, and a book with the story and pics, and a small music box that plays My fav things, and has room for a few favorite things! I love that movie perhaps cos when I was 9 we lived in Germany and went to Salzberg,Austria and I hid behind the same tombs, stood at that fountain etc. Dd and sil bought me another bead, and a small snowman ornament for the tree. Awesome. And think I allready mentioned the bead with dog paws from hubby and Allie. So for the first time in ages, I had a good day, basked in ME, thanked all my FB nd SPark friends for their wishes and just had a good day. having a glass of wine and thinking of my goals.

I changed my ticker to exercise mins rather than wt lost. I want to lose between 40-50 lbs but will see WHEN I get closer. I more than that want to be healthy, fit and happy. I NEED to get healthier for me and my body so that is the priority. I hope to make it an enjoyable and totally doable LIFESTYLE. yea yea hubby says lifestyle but I do want to be able to do this forever.

To be healthier means a few things... mind, body and spirit. I do acknowledge that they all go together and also that I need to work on them all. But I am focusing on body for now. I am sure that if I feel better physically my mind and spirit will come along for the ride.

Well edited this 2x, felt it still wasn't right, and then read a blog that said what are your goals and how do you plan to work life around them... well sort of said that. lol

And I realized that as I wrote what I have now deleted, I was thinking hmmm that is tomorrow... hmmm how do I do that Mike is home... and allready other things were coming to mind to knock out what I figured I would do. So even though I made smart goals, they were too hardfast for me to work life in around them. So for now and probably the month of Jan. I am going to work at this, day by day... hr by hr if need be.

I will exrcise daily and not just dog walk. Hoping to put in 3x wk of strength training and 2 x wk at dd with her machines ( my old elliptical and her treadmill) I had it down to specific days but then realized that every other monday or thurs he is off so that won't work.. butif I am flexible enough to say that this week I have to go to Lisas on Tues and Friday... then good i will still go rather than m, w, opps can't go friday so oh never mind.

I am going to try super hard to eliminate sugar I don't add it to tea, or oatmeal etc. so if I get rid of most processed stuff I will be doing well. I do want to figure some menus up as I tend to get in the don't want to make supper mode then we don't eat well.

So for Jan I am going to eat better........drink my water.......... exercise daily........... walk allie and THINK POSITIVE!! That will all help me reach goals such as be healthier and fitter by my next birthday.

HUGS and this time I feel better about my goals. not so overwhelming and restricting even though they may not be smart enough, I was smart enough to realize the others weren't me.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANJAYS-JOURNEY 1/1/2013 4:17PM

    Great to hear you had an awesome birthday

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PHANTASTICA 1/1/2013 12:44PM

    I struggle with 'don't want to make supper' mode too. I just spent a few days doing cook-ahead meals to freeze and use on those nights.

Happy birthday and happy new year!

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OJ_2_OK 12/31/2012 9:19PM

    Love this blog too!

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IMEMINE1 12/31/2012 7:05PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
Happy New Year.

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Dec. 31st 2012 Happy birthday to me!!! and day 89

Monday, December 31, 2012

Wow we have had Allie for 89 days and I have walked her at least 3x daily! Thanks Allie you are the reason I didn't gain over the holidays!LOL

Well it is my birthday!!! I honestly think this is the first year I remember that I am not sad, still had tears, not sure why but they were okay tears. Just like wow it is my birthday. I think that has something to do with not allowing myself to be important or visible.

I got up this am, before Allie and went and wrote in my journal. I just wrote what I thought. I wasn't going to share it as it is nothing amazing but then thought yea I will as some of you will know how much it is important to me.









Dec 31 happy birthday to me and I mean it. I deserve a happy day, not a woe is me day. Only I can do that for myself.
The words above are some of what I wish for myself this year. They are all attainable but I will need the STRENGTH to start and continue on my way. This year must be about HEALTH ( all aspects of it) I have too much pain and issues to not make my physical health a priority. I am putting into effect an action plan for healthy eating, exercise for my body and its pains, and taking the time for my mind, promoting SELF-CONFIDENCE, PEACE, CONTENTMENT and LOVE. I am taking the time to relax, enjoy the "Simple things in life". Another gift I will give myself is JOY - joy of love, laughter, companionship, quiet time, but just joy. I will also spend more time with Thomas and Eva and relish their child like wonder of things.
One main issue is worry, we all worry, but I know how to do that better than anything else in my life. Wwell this year it is taking a back seat, when I start to worry, I will remind myself that worry changes nothing, postiive thinking may not change everything but it will make things easier. All this is going to be hard for me but none is impossible.

So............ those are not SMART goals, but more a guideline for my new year, my 56th year of life. My only wish is that I had been able to do it many years sooner, but this year I will try harder as I am not happy in my life as it is. For the most part it is me that has to change, some issues revolve around hubby but I myself, allow him too much control that he doesn't even know he has. It is my lack of self confidence that does it. When I married, I stopped evrything I wanted to be married, have babies more than anything. Yes many from my era ( OMG lol that sounds old) wanted that, but I to the exclusion of ME.I had no interest in anything other than him and kids. Yes I did when the kids were young, take up ceramics and that got me out of the house etc. But actually in the later years, seems my insecurity has gotten worse although some of that has been because of his depression anxiety which has left a large mark on me, and us. So this year if I want to go to the kids, I will , he doesn't have to come, etc. That is all in my making and my choices. He tells me that and says if you want to go then go... if you want to... then do it.

New year, new lessons, new challenges, and I am up for it. I will become more concerned for ME. that is not selfish that is self care.

HUGS and Hope you all have a great 2013 with lots of self love and care in there too.

Now lol to figure my goals............ well maybe I wake hubby up as we are going out to Coras for my birthday breakfast and I am getting hungry! LOL fruit and something.....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HISTORYRUNNER 12/31/2012 11:08PM

    Hope you had a great 56th birthday and all the best as you live by your new guidelines. You'll do great, one day at a time. emoticon emoticon

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OJ_2_OK 12/31/2012 9:16PM

    This is a great blog. I'm glad you are enjoying your day because you DESERVE it!!! And you are important, at least to me any ways. I look forward to your comments every day and am worried when you are quiet. :)

You will have a great year, I know it. It took a lot of courage, wisdom and honesty to be able to draw the conclusions you have. If only more people were that honest with themselves!

Any ways, I think the whole thing about worrying may be a woman thing. I worry about EVERY thing. I am trying to let that go though. Because worrying doesn't get you any where. It doesn't change the outcome, it doesn't negate the risk. All it does is dull the reward because you can't enjoy it as much as you would because you are too busy worring. That's my "resolution."

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MORTICIAADDAMS 12/31/2012 5:58PM

    Happy Birthday and good luck with all your goals and dreams for the future!

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JOYINKY 12/31/2012 11:21AM

    emoticon emoticon
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Cindy! I hope you have a wonderful 2013!



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COSMIC_ENERGY 12/31/2012 9:54AM

    When you get comfortable in your skin and decide you're OK just the way you are and other people are OK just the way they are, it does get easier. Just be you and do the things you want and need to. I grew up in that generation too. Learning that it's OK to put ourselves first some of the time and that selfish can mean you're being good to yourself is a steep learning curve in the beginning. But if you don't take care of you, who will?

Oh yeah! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Happy New Year! You're still younger than me!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 12/31/2012 9:56:42 AM

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PCOH051610 12/31/2012 9:34AM

    I enjoy your blogs so much as you really write from the heart. I think you are just discovering who you really are and that is such an exciting thing!

Happy Birthday emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 12/31/2012 9:32AM

    Have a wonderful day Cinders (Jamie), and I wish you everything good for 2013 emoticon emoticon

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HAPPYWALKER 12/31/2012 9:24AM

    happy birthday Cindy emoticon

my gift, some balloons to put your worries in and let them go! emoticon

happy New Year too emoticon emoticon

Wishing you good health in the new year and all the PEACE, CONTENTMENT, LOVE, SELF-CONFIDENCE, HEALTH, JOY, RELAXATION, AND STRENGTH possible. Those may not be S.M.A.R.T. goals, but they are SMART ones....worthy of being conscious of each moment of every day. Attaining these will take care of all the rest.


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CHRISTINASP 12/31/2012 8:52AM

    Enjoy your day! It's funny because I cannot really imagine you being insecure... you don't sound like it to me! Here's to your self confidence! Happy happy birthday!

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Sunday evening

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Hi sparkers... have had a good day and actually today and yesterday eve have been regular days, no sad sack here. Which is highly irregular and so welcome. We took dad with us out for breakfast, and other than walks with allie we have been home. Well my walks, lol not hubby although he did shovel the driveway, he still isn't feeling well.

So been thinking what I can do that is different from any other year, or else how can I sustain any of my new ideas. It isn't so much doing it is sustaining. For instance I am craving choc. right now, well there is choc here but on the first I was thinking what can I have... I want to get sugar out.. I have done pretty well with flour for the most part and even more so want sugar to not have such a hold over me.

I also have to keep exercising, I am doing well with Allie being my walking partner although she must learn to heel better as when she pulls it really hurts my back and have been getting odd little sciatica pain in my R butt. NOt what I need at all. I don't want to resort to a haltie or gentle leader, I want her to be able to walk properly at any time.

But I need to get on the strength training bandwagon, I wish I could afford a personal trainer to help me or that my sil would do it or take me seriously. I think she is still too self concious to do it with or for family. I know there are tons of short ones on here and I will have to check them out and print them off. Also I have a book of them, and also a small pamphlet of stuff for bad backs and knees so can use them .Continue to do the knee strengthning stuff for pre surgery. EEEK.

Okay well going to go upstairs and continue sorting in craft room, so much stuff and got the table, large bookcase, and paper holder bookcase cleared. Not doing the closet. lol
Then have a few things to move in my exercise room and get the pump for my ball and will be good to go.

I started back to drinking 1 of my water bottles so will be back to 3 a day jan 1.

But have to get a plan. I will think and write. I got a binder with blank pages and also a small notebook. I want to keep track of food not only for cal. reasons but cos dr said to see if I can figure what was causing the pain in my belly. Haven't had it again and eating the same things.

Okay off to do a bit, and get ready for tomorrow. I hope to go to the mall, find a warmer hat, adn waterproof mitts or gloves on sale. Otherwise not sure what we are doing, Oh going out for breakfast tomorrow just hubby and me for my birthday at Coras as they have fruit and we have gift cert. from ds and dil. Kids will be over at some time, at least dd will as not sure what ds has to work and he hasn't been well again, called in sick day before yesterday as thought that kidney stone was passing but figures not yet. Geesh.

Hugs and cya in the am!!! I am going to have a plan! lol SMART goals. I know.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHRISTINASP 12/31/2012 7:29AM

And best of luck with your smart goals!

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NEW-CAZ 12/31/2012 4:47AM

    love it Cinders (Jamie LOL) emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ALEXSGIRL1 12/30/2012 8:55PM

    glad you are happy and soing well emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 12/30/2012 8:52PM

    I need some smart goals as well! LOL.

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JOYINKY 12/30/2012 8:00PM

    Cheers for good days! May you have an abundance of them in 2013! emoticon

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PCOH051610 12/30/2012 7:00PM

    Yummy - Cora's is delicious! You are so organized and I give you a big thumbs up for getting out in this wet stuff to walk! I know what you mean though about trying to find the right clothes for it!

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OJ_2_OK 12/30/2012 6:58PM

    Great blog!!! I want to get rid of sugar too but I am focusing on freggies first. There is a sparkteam about breaking sugar cravings (its an official team, you get some kind of reward when you complete) that I joined for a second but decided to wait. It looked really great. Maybe you could look into it.

As for strength training, use what you got first. yOu can do push ups on the walls and stairs (that's what I'm doing for now) and lunges. A lot of the personal training that I had in the past, used small weights, and my own body doing lunges and other things (not equipment). You can do that at home! That is also my goal right now so we can work on it together!

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CHUM48 12/30/2012 6:45PM

    Thanks for your honesty! It helps each of us to move forward! Thanks! Happy New Year!

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Sat. eve 8:30 pm

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Well I must say I have had a good day. Even though I have been very introspective, I haven't broken down or gotten melancholy. Thanks to some spark replies, spark messages, I again feel as if I am doing okay and don't always have to be looking for a huge"purpose" in my life.

But for now, I am going to go do some stretches and then going to go soak. I wish I used my sauna more, but I hurt to sit in it as it is a one person and I have to sit up pretty straight which really bothers my back. I have such poor posture, that is one area that I was weepy, Saw myself in the mirror side on and what a dowagers hump I will get if I am very very soon not careful. I seem to slump cos my lower back feels better, but when I do my B,D,C,C I feel so much better. That is my short form for hold shoulders BACK, let them rest DOWN, CROWN of head up, and CORE. but since having poor posture since getting breasts at age 12, it has been a long time. I so remember and now wish I had listened to mum, poking me in the back hold your shoulders back you will be glad....

Okay off to have a soak..... HUGS and many many THANKS!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEW-CAZ 12/30/2012 3:17AM

    I learnt a trick with good posture Cinders and it works, takes a little practice but it's a FUN way.
okay, so you see every confident superstar has fantastic posture, think yourself into the charecter of your fav star, a confident one..............and adopt her posture.

Eventually it sticks;;;mine's Madonna! emoticon

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HARROWJET 12/29/2012 10:50PM

    emoticon emoticon

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COSMIC_ENERGY 12/29/2012 10:36PM

    I've noticed I'm getting that hump too.... emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 12/29/2012 9:17PM

    I felt guilty reading this. LOL. I need to work on my posture too.

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ALEXSGIRL1 12/29/2012 8:48PM

    When I went to get my pacemaker inserted the doctor was exclaiming to the nurse like i wasnt there god she has bad posture i will have a hard time putting this in . then he asks me did you know you have extemely bad posture your doctors should have done something with this now it to late. silly man i showed him with exercise and do diligence on my part it is getting better . He is still the guy who tried to put my pacemaker on the left side where most people have them when i told him because of my anatomy it needed to be on the right side like my daughters. He can't fix the extra stiches i got because he didnt listen. but i fixed my posture and so can you , it is never to late to try. hugs If you have a complaint you have a way to fix it.

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OJ_2_OK 12/29/2012 8:04PM

    I've noticed that my posture has been poor lately. I blame it on the couch that we moved downstairs. :( by I've started to mildly strength train and am hoping that helps some as I've been trying to make an effort to notice it when I workout. I glad you are having a better day. :)

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Saturday didn't have a clue what day or date it was

Saturday, December 29, 2012

had to look at the bottom corner of the screen to see what day it was. lol. Sunny, cold and an okay 2 walks, she didnt listen well and I am still sore. Better than last night when I had a lot of pain in my back and my R knee, didnt sleep well at all fitbit says 88% and I do believe it for sure this time. Not tired now , just not rested. Oh well.

Wish hubby would feel better soon, he is coughing and no energy at all. He even said he has things he wants to get done, but even going out to stand the compost bin up after the wind knocked it over tired him out. I don't let allie go wake him before 9 :30 now figuring he needs his sleep but he is also getting into that not being tired and going to bed at 2;30 -3 which isn't good for him.

So have read 3 blogs on New years eve and by the last one I was sad, and nearly crying, man it all comes down to my birthday and how I so don't like it. I don't mind the attention, the happy birthdays etc. I think it is cos I allow it to be the END of the YEAR that I have failed myself yet again. Then I get into am I not worth it even to myself... then spirals from there. So read the last one and thought better blog this out or will be a blubbering mess.
I know I have done good for me things this year, I also have done good for others. I can't allow myself to only see that I didn't get to a goal especially when I don't set good goals.
I know I say I will lose or exercise, or eat well etc. but also know that I am like most, hard on myself.
Anyway....... same ole thing this year... putting myself down and not letting myself see or acknoweldge the good, the healthy, the being nice to me that I did do.
For now I hear dh coughing so he is awake. I am going to get the kettle on as I haven't had a cup of tea yet and we both will want one. I sometimes wish I could just go away all alone for a day/night in a small cabin with woodstove, me tea, journal, books and a good fire going with a warm bed. lol DD asked me what I wanted for my birthday, wouldn't they all be some surprised if I said that! I have never been away alone since I was married, other than to go to take the kids to my parents when hubby was away on course. I did take a day trip with girlfriends to anothers house about 18 years ago.
One of those retreats for women... oh yea, hubby actually said we could go to the one in ON sometime, drive and camp then I could go do that for the 3 days and he and dog would camp. Have to think about it.
HUGS and now to go have hot cup of tea on this sunny but cold cold wind day!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HISTORYRUNNER 12/30/2012 2:38AM

    Just look where you were, a year ago, and you'll be pleasantly surprised to see notable progress. Keep on keepin' on! emoticon emoticon

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OJ_2_OK 12/29/2012 8:09PM

    Don't focus so much on the overall weigh loss. Look at the fact of all the activity you are getting with Allie. And how you are such an encouraging spark member. You are still here and trying. Those are all successes that you are overlooking. Don't focus on the goals not accomplished think of the things you have. :)

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HEALTHY4ME 12/29/2012 7:00PM

    OH Jill wish I could respond but without your spark page I don't know how. I hope you are doing fine and I wish you well. I so do miss you...

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ZESTYLADY 12/29/2012 6:22PM

    Hello old friend! I found a cheap retreat space near my home that gave me a chance to be alone, reflect and was worth every cent and I plan to do it again this year. Went thru a year of counselling to learn that I am an introvert forced into a culture of introverts. Without time and space to reflect and renew...I get crazy an depressed. Peace and blessing on you!

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DADDYS_GIRL6 12/29/2012 4:14PM

    Happy Birthday you have made progress! You are blogging to friends instead of slipping on that terrible spiral down!! That in itself is huge!! I am so proud of you! You really ought to ask your DD's for that gift for your birthday. They can stay with Dad so you aren't worried about him, you can rest and do just what pleases yourself and when you come home you will be refreshed and able to tackle the needs at home! Think on it!
Hugs and blessings!

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ANJAYS-JOURNEY 12/29/2012 3:24PM

    we all need time alone, one day it will happen, take care and maybe start a collage on everything positive that has happened this year

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JAZZID 12/29/2012 3:16PM

    ... everyone needs time alone sometime. Maybe you can plan on doing that,I think it would do wonders for you. emoticon

Don't be so hard on yourself, you are doing great!... I haven't reached my goal yet either, and I have been trying to reach it for years... but I can say that I am closer than I was at the beginning of 2012 and I also have a better understanding of what I need to do in order to reach my goal!

... so don't despair, you are not alone, we are all in this together and we will make it happen. emoticon I am rooting for you! emoticon

emoticon Let's rock 2013... emoticon emoticon

~ Dee emoticon

PS:... I hope your hubby feels better soon! emoticon

Comment edited on: 12/29/2012 3:18:29 PM

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COSMIC_ENERGY 12/29/2012 3:13PM

    Ah...there, I found you again. I'm with the "you're way too hard on yourself" side! You are such an inspiration to so many. And the dedication you have to blogging is fantastic. You judge yourself far harder than anyone else.

I often would go to visit family in FL with the kids, then alone. I say, make a retreat a 2013 goal for yourself. The family can survive without you and it would be good for everyone. emoticon

You really do have many strengths and so the thought should be why do you continue to see failure?

Sending you uplifting positive thoughts. The end of a year is no different than the end of another day. The strength is in us continuing to do the work, wherever it take us.

I sure am happy to have met you along the way!

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GOPINTOS 12/29/2012 12:17PM

    I came up short of my 2012 goal also, but I am much farther ahead of the game than I was a year ago. So just keep trucking!!! Make your commitment. This time next year you will be so glad you did!!

Thanks for sharing!


Smile and Enjoy the Rest of Your Day!
Melinda (gopintos)
Perfect Health Diet Team
Country Living Team
Dr Oz Show Fans Team
Wheat Belly Team


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ONEKIDSMOM 12/29/2012 9:32AM

    emoticon Sweetie, take good care of you. Sounds like a locked door and some personal space is in order! Hang in, and feel better.

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NEW-CAZ 12/29/2012 8:57AM

    Cinders you are WAY TOO HARD on yourself hun!
Have to agree with PCOHO51610.

You have my love and support as always babe, you know that.
Maybe the retreat alone would do wonders for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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PCOH051610 12/29/2012 8:35AM

    Oh boy, you do sound overwhelmed. For this birthday why don't you pledge to be kinder to yourself? Don't set yourself up to fail and every night before you go to bed think of the good things you did for yourself that day. I have a huge problem in being the "all or nothing" type but once I started appreciating some of the little stuff I realized I'm okay. I suffer from major depression so sometimes my thankful list is pretty mundane ( e.g. I washed my face and applied sunscreen) but other it does help with my mindset.

I think you should take that trip sounds lovely

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