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Sunday evening

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Hi sparkers... have had a good day and actually today and yesterday eve have been regular days, no sad sack here. Which is highly irregular and so welcome. We took dad with us out for breakfast, and other than walks with allie we have been home. Well my walks, lol not hubby although he did shovel the driveway, he still isn't feeling well.

So been thinking what I can do that is different from any other year, or else how can I sustain any of my new ideas. It isn't so much doing it is sustaining. For instance I am craving choc. right now, well there is choc here but on the first I was thinking what can I have... I want to get sugar out.. I have done pretty well with flour for the most part and even more so want sugar to not have such a hold over me.

I also have to keep exercising, I am doing well with Allie being my walking partner although she must learn to heel better as when she pulls it really hurts my back and have been getting odd little sciatica pain in my R butt. NOt what I need at all. I don't want to resort to a haltie or gentle leader, I want her to be able to walk properly at any time.

But I need to get on the strength training bandwagon, I wish I could afford a personal trainer to help me or that my sil would do it or take me seriously. I think she is still too self concious to do it with or for family. I know there are tons of short ones on here and I will have to check them out and print them off. Also I have a book of them, and also a small pamphlet of stuff for bad backs and knees so can use them .Continue to do the knee strengthning stuff for pre surgery. EEEK.

Okay well going to go upstairs and continue sorting in craft room, so much stuff and got the table, large bookcase, and paper holder bookcase cleared. Not doing the closet. lol
Then have a few things to move in my exercise room and get the pump for my ball and will be good to go.

I started back to drinking 1 of my water bottles so will be back to 3 a day jan 1.

But have to get a plan. I will think and write. I got a binder with blank pages and also a small notebook. I want to keep track of food not only for cal. reasons but cos dr said to see if I can figure what was causing the pain in my belly. Haven't had it again and eating the same things.

Okay off to do a bit, and get ready for tomorrow. I hope to go to the mall, find a warmer hat, adn waterproof mitts or gloves on sale. Otherwise not sure what we are doing, Oh going out for breakfast tomorrow just hubby and me for my birthday at Coras as they have fruit and we have gift cert. from ds and dil. Kids will be over at some time, at least dd will as not sure what ds has to work and he hasn't been well again, called in sick day before yesterday as thought that kidney stone was passing but figures not yet. Geesh.

Hugs and cya in the am!!! I am going to have a plan! lol SMART goals. I know.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHRISTINASP 12/31/2012 7:29AM

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
And best of luck with your smart goals!

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NEW-CAZ 12/31/2012 4:47AM

    love it Cinders (Jamie LOL) emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ALEXSGIRL1 12/30/2012 8:55PM

    glad you are happy and soing well emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 12/30/2012 8:52PM

    I need some smart goals as well! LOL.

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JOYINKY 12/30/2012 8:00PM

    Cheers for good days! May you have an abundance of them in 2013! emoticon

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PCOH051610 12/30/2012 7:00PM

    Yummy - Cora's is delicious! You are so organized and I give you a big thumbs up for getting out in this wet stuff to walk! I know what you mean though about trying to find the right clothes for it!

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OJ_2_OK 12/30/2012 6:58PM

    Great blog!!! I want to get rid of sugar too but I am focusing on freggies first. There is a sparkteam about breaking sugar cravings (its an official team, you get some kind of reward when you complete) that I joined for a second but decided to wait. It looked really great. Maybe you could look into it.

As for strength training, use what you got first. yOu can do push ups on the walls and stairs (that's what I'm doing for now) and lunges. A lot of the personal training that I had in the past, used small weights, and my own body doing lunges and other things (not equipment). You can do that at home! That is also my goal right now so we can work on it together!

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CHUM48 12/30/2012 6:45PM

    Thanks for your honesty! It helps each of us to move forward! Thanks! Happy New Year!

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Sat. eve 8:30 pm

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Well I must say I have had a good day. Even though I have been very introspective, I haven't broken down or gotten melancholy. Thanks to some spark replies, spark messages, I again feel as if I am doing okay and don't always have to be looking for a huge"purpose" in my life.

But for now, I am going to go do some stretches and then going to go soak. I wish I used my sauna more, but I hurt to sit in it as it is a one person and I have to sit up pretty straight which really bothers my back. I have such poor posture, that is one area that I was weepy, Saw myself in the mirror side on and what a dowagers hump I will get if I am very very soon not careful. I seem to slump cos my lower back feels better, but when I do my B,D,C,C I feel so much better. That is my short form for hold shoulders BACK, let them rest DOWN, CROWN of head up, and CORE. but since having poor posture since getting breasts at age 12, it has been a long time. I so remember and now wish I had listened to mum, poking me in the back hold your shoulders back you will be glad....

Okay off to have a soak..... HUGS and many many THANKS!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEW-CAZ 12/30/2012 3:17AM

    I learnt a trick with good posture Cinders and it works, takes a little practice but it's a FUN way.
okay, so you see every confident superstar has fantastic posture, think yourself into the charecter of your fav star, a confident one..............and adopt her posture.

Eventually it sticks;;;mine's Madonna! emoticon

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HARROWJET 12/29/2012 10:50PM

    emoticon emoticon

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COSMIC_ENERGY 12/29/2012 10:36PM

    I've noticed I'm getting that hump too.... emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 12/29/2012 9:17PM

    I felt guilty reading this. LOL. I need to work on my posture too.

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ALEXSGIRL1 12/29/2012 8:48PM

    When I went to get my pacemaker inserted the doctor was exclaiming to the nurse like i wasnt there god she has bad posture i will have a hard time putting this in . then he asks me did you know you have extemely bad posture your doctors should have done something with this now it to late. silly man i showed him with exercise and do diligence on my part it is getting better . He is still the guy who tried to put my pacemaker on the left side where most people have them when i told him because of my anatomy it needed to be on the right side like my daughters. He can't fix the extra stiches i got because he didnt listen. but i fixed my posture and so can you , it is never to late to try. hugs If you have a complaint you have a way to fix it.

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OJ_2_OK 12/29/2012 8:04PM

    I've noticed that my posture has been poor lately. I blame it on the couch that we moved downstairs. :( by I've started to mildly strength train and am hoping that helps some as I've been trying to make an effort to notice it when I workout. I glad you are having a better day. :)
-ondrea

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Saturday didn't have a clue what day or date it was

Saturday, December 29, 2012

had to look at the bottom corner of the screen to see what day it was. lol. Sunny, cold and an okay 2 walks, she didnt listen well and I am still sore. Better than last night when I had a lot of pain in my back and my R knee, didnt sleep well at all fitbit says 88% and I do believe it for sure this time. Not tired now , just not rested. Oh well.

Wish hubby would feel better soon, he is coughing and no energy at all. He even said he has things he wants to get done, but even going out to stand the compost bin up after the wind knocked it over tired him out. I don't let allie go wake him before 9 :30 now figuring he needs his sleep but he is also getting into that not being tired and going to bed at 2;30 -3 which isn't good for him.

So have read 3 blogs on New years eve and by the last one I was sad, and nearly crying, man it all comes down to my birthday and how I so don't like it. I don't mind the attention, the happy birthdays etc. I think it is cos I allow it to be the END of the YEAR that I have failed myself yet again. Then I get into am I not worth it even to myself... then spirals from there. So read the last one and thought better blog this out or will be a blubbering mess.
I know I have done good for me things this year, I also have done good for others. I can't allow myself to only see that I didn't get to a goal especially when I don't set good goals.
I know I say I will lose or exercise, or eat well etc. but also know that I am like most, hard on myself.
Anyway....... same ole thing this year... putting myself down and not letting myself see or acknoweldge the good, the healthy, the being nice to me that I did do.
For now I hear dh coughing so he is awake. I am going to get the kettle on as I haven't had a cup of tea yet and we both will want one. I sometimes wish I could just go away all alone for a day/night in a small cabin with woodstove, me tea, journal, books and a good fire going with a warm bed. lol DD asked me what I wanted for my birthday, wouldn't they all be some surprised if I said that! I have never been away alone since I was married, other than to go to take the kids to my parents when hubby was away on course. I did take a day trip with girlfriends to anothers house about 18 years ago.
One of those retreats for women... oh yea, hubby actually said we could go to the one in ON sometime, drive and camp then I could go do that for the 3 days and he and dog would camp. Have to think about it.
HUGS and now to go have hot cup of tea on this sunny but cold cold wind day!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HISTORYRUNNER 12/30/2012 2:38AM

    Just look where you were, a year ago, and you'll be pleasantly surprised to see notable progress. Keep on keepin' on! emoticon emoticon

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OJ_2_OK 12/29/2012 8:09PM

    Don't focus so much on the overall weigh loss. Look at the fact of all the activity you are getting with Allie. And how you are such an encouraging spark member. You are still here and trying. Those are all successes that you are overlooking. Don't focus on the goals not accomplished think of the things you have. :)

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HEALTHY4ME 12/29/2012 7:00PM

    OH Jill wish I could respond but without your spark page I don't know how. I hope you are doing fine and I wish you well. I so do miss you...

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ZESTYLADY 12/29/2012 6:22PM

    Hello old friend! I found a cheap retreat space near my home that gave me a chance to be alone, reflect and renew...it was worth every cent and I plan to do it again this year. Went thru a year of counselling to learn that I am an introvert forced into a culture of introverts. Without time and space to reflect and renew...I get crazy an depressed. Peace and blessing on you!

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DADDYS_GIRL6 12/29/2012 4:14PM

    Happy Birthday you have made progress! You are blogging to friends instead of slipping on that terrible spiral down!! That in itself is huge!! I am so proud of you! You really ought to ask your DD's for that gift for your birthday. They can stay with Dad so you aren't worried about him, you can rest and do just what pleases yourself and when you come home you will be refreshed and able to tackle the needs at home! Think on it!
Hugs and blessings!


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ANJAYS-JOURNEY 12/29/2012 3:24PM

    we all need time alone, one day it will happen, take care and maybe start a collage on everything positive that has happened this year

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JAZZID 12/29/2012 3:16PM

    ... everyone needs time alone sometime. Maybe you can plan on doing that,I think it would do wonders for you. emoticon

Don't be so hard on yourself, you are doing great!... I haven't reached my goal yet either, and I have been trying to reach it for years... but I can say that I am closer than I was at the beginning of 2012 and I also have a better understanding of what I need to do in order to reach my goal!

... so don't despair, you are not alone, we are all in this together and we will make it happen. emoticon I am rooting for you! emoticon

emoticon Let's rock 2013... emoticon emoticon

~ Dee emoticon

PS:... I hope your hubby feels better soon! emoticon

Comment edited on: 12/29/2012 3:18:29 PM

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COSMIC_ENERGY 12/29/2012 3:13PM

    Ah...there, I found you again. I'm with the "you're way too hard on yourself" side! You are such an inspiration to so many. And the dedication you have to blogging is fantastic. You judge yourself far harder than anyone else.

I often would go to visit family in FL with the kids, then alone. I say, make a retreat a 2013 goal for yourself. The family can survive without you and it would be good for everyone. emoticon

You really do have many strengths and so the thought should be why do you continue to see failure?

Sending you uplifting positive thoughts. The end of a year is no different than the end of another day. The strength is in us continuing to do the work, wherever it take us.

I sure am happy to have met you along the way!

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GOPINTOS 12/29/2012 12:17PM

    I came up short of my 2012 goal also, but I am much farther ahead of the game than I was a year ago. So just keep trucking!!! Make your commitment. This time next year you will be so glad you did!!

Thanks for sharing!

emoticon

Smile and Enjoy the Rest of Your Day!
Melinda (gopintos)
Perfect Health Diet Team
Country Living Team
Dr Oz Show Fans Team
Wheat Belly Team

emoticon

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ONEKIDSMOM 12/29/2012 9:32AM

    emoticon Sweetie, take good care of you. Sounds like a locked door and some personal space is in order! Hang in, and feel better.

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NEW-CAZ 12/29/2012 8:57AM

    Cinders you are WAY TOO HARD on yourself hun!
Have to agree with PCOHO51610.

You have my love and support as always babe, you know that.
Maybe the retreat alone would do wonders for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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PCOH051610 12/29/2012 8:35AM

    Oh boy, you do sound overwhelmed. For this birthday why don't you pledge to be kinder to yourself? Don't set yourself up to fail and every night before you go to bed think of the good things you did for yourself that day. I have a huge problem in being the "all or nothing" type but once I started appreciating some of the little stuff I realized I'm okay. I suffer from major depression so sometimes my thankful list is pretty mundane ( e.g. I washed my face and applied sunscreen) but other it does help with my mindset.

I think you should take that trip alone....it sounds lovely

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Day 85 and what a messy day it is

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Snowed and oh boy does Allie love that! then it has rained, poured rain, so we have snow, slush and just yuk. One of the worst dog walking days. So 9:47 and I am going to put on rain pants, snow boots, jacket, all to go out for 10 mins maybe. lol I so so so wish the darn fence and steps were done so she could just run down the backyard. oh well spring.......

Had a good visit with family at sister in laws yesterday, good drive there and back. Today hubby sounds worse, dad is so tired all the time, and I am sore. Weather was to change so perhaps that is part of my back issues. I took arthrotec this am, and was going to take it this eve, even though I must eat with it, but didnt' eat any supper or anything else cos I had a cup of sepcialty tea and got super heartburn, bad enough and long enough to take my nexium med. I think I will take it for a few days to see if I feel better, as had a bout a few days ago, coudl be the hiatal hernia bothering me.

Had a nap this afternoon, I find our house cold in afternoon as hubby turns heat down from 11 -5 and it gets damp. EVERYONE says it is, but hubby. I remember one time my sister inlaw, brother in law and niece sitting on the couch at 10 pm with their jackets cos the heat goes down at 10pm till 6 am. hhubby said I am nto at all cold. but offered to put the heat up she insisted no, as they were leaving soon. GOOD Grief and yet he thinks it is me, dd, dil, that "think" it is cold. Dad has his heat way up of course which is good. Hubby doesnt mind that but anyway, I had a nap cos was cold, not sleeping well at night with hubbys cold - snoring so went to bed to read, curled up under the duvet, and fell asleep. Was nice for hour and a bit.

Okay off I go to let her out and then go find that warm bed may try a cup of tea, not even my green one just red rose decaf.
NIGHT ALL HUGS

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANJAYS-JOURNEY 12/28/2012 9:31AM

    hugs and hope your pain settles down
have a great day today

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VON_1962 12/28/2012 9:05AM

    Hope you all get to feeling better soon! We had snow yesterday and over night. Off today and it is still snowing. Used the treadmill this morning and thinking of you! Hope to see you online today to catch up and get prepared for our goal setting. ((hugs))


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NEW-CAZ 12/28/2012 2:49AM

    I hope everyone is soon on the mend Cinders, this Christmas has seen illness in both our houses. It would be nice for you when all are well enough to celebrate your approaching special day! emoticon

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OJ_2_OK 12/27/2012 9:40PM

    I hope your household feels better soon!

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MORTICIAADDAMS 12/27/2012 9:17PM

    We are getting ice pellets and more snow tomorrow. I hope everyone at your house feels better soon. My son is finally doing better.

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Merry Christmas YES it is almost over.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

I am not a scrooge, nor bah humbug ( if I had to choose one or the other would be bah humbug). Only that I don't like commotion and busyness. So last night was at our house and total commotion as allie knocked baby over asap, then wouldn't stop going nuts so was in the kennel barking for 2 hrs. Thomas was good and so was Eva, was just the noise, just as they left the other gang came.... then that was noise as Nikki let the dog out and the others were just leaving.

So then today it is at dd wtih the same crowd, supper was to be at 5 wasn't totally done till after 6. so Thomas kept saying supper soon please papa, ended up falling asleep eating 2 mouthfuls of sweet potatoes. Eva was good. Thomas woke up and had one of his screaming at the tiop of his lungs crying fit. Lily the other 3 year old was bugging the dog and the 10 year old was bugging me. LOL food was awesome and dd did fantastic as she did nearly all of it. I commend her doing it all. and the noise of the crowd. Dad came but was exhausted by the time he ate, so we took him home, and I went back foer a pc of pie. Lemon ahhh, she mad 3 pies and chris and family had gone, and so had dad and hubby she has way lots left.

Tomorrow is another one, at sil and bil house but will be more civilized as no little ones and not as much commotion.

Thought I did okay only cried 5 times and only 1 time did anyone notice and was hubby and wasn't crying just biting my lip, cos the 9 year old was being a pain in the a$$ and man I have no patience. I used to be amazed at how angry mum would get a kids when they were just bugging, well arghhhhhhhhhhhh hge was only being stupid asking me the same thing over and over to be a pain. Well I got up and moved after I asked him to stop, went over to hubby said I love you, he said whats up nothing, gotta get out of here, so i just walked down dd hall.

Had a good xmas morning, I got up walked dog, we had breakfast at home, then I went and got in the tub and even tried to curl up to fall asleep, did relax to the point of seeing purple which is always relaxing for me. I was then going to go back to bed but decided I better make dil a bday card as her bday is tomorrow adn was giving her her present tonight. So till we went over to dd it was nice. I only was sad melancholy 3 xs. I don't know why I get like this. Mum used to say was always like that since I was small. Oh well. at least it is only 2 days a year and my birthday.

So now going to finish here, go hug my hubby trying not to cry so he doesnt get upset and then me and my tea are going to bed. I so want to sleeeeeeeeep. am exhausted and didnt do near as much as dd, i just hope her back doesnt hurt in the am.

I hope an dpray you all had the day you wanted, happy, busy, or quiet and peaceful, whichever you wanted.

I got 2 charms for my braclet, and a top, ds gave us a gift cert for a restuarant here so we could go to a diff place for breakfast as he knows I wanted to go to coras but hubby says too $$ for every sunday. and dd and sil are happy, they didnt give gifts but the niece got her glasses yesterday!!! in time for Christmas day. Must have been a very joyous day in that household!

Okay night all and hugs to all of you, sleep well.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COSMIC_ENERGY 12/29/2012 3:21PM

    I get not enjoying the commotion and feeling that you are trapped in it. I haven't had to put up with it too much since I got divorced (his side was crazy-noisy, drinkers).

Christmas has never been my favorite. Too many unmet expectations from the past I guess. Got tired of being the one to "make it happen" for everyone else and no one trying to make it happen for me.

I've lightened up. Just trying to enjoy the company and not worry so much about buying that perfect gift or getting it either. No one bought me the pressure cooker I wanted, so I ordered it myself the day after!

Hang in there. emoticon

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NSMOOMAA 12/27/2012 10:35AM

    Wow it sure sounds like a busy time. Good for you for taking a little me time. I hope you get more over the next few days. Sometimes this season is just so busy. Relax a bit and enjoy the time now. Hugs emoticon

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ALEXSGIRL1 12/26/2012 7:44PM

    glad you made it through okay.

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OJ_2_OK 12/26/2012 6:30PM

    Glad your niece got her glasses and HOLY MOLY that sounds like a lot of commotion. I would cry too. Maybe that's why you get sad during the holidays? Perhaps the "melancholy" feeling is just really anxiety due to al the chaos? Any ways, I'm glad things will be settling down for you.

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ANJAYS-JOURNEY 12/26/2012 7:55AM

    Awesome you survived, glad you had a good time Christmas can be so difficult, today you have a chance to unwind and slow down a little
Have a great day
hugs

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NEW-CAZ 12/26/2012 3:01AM

    You survived the day Cinders with those you love and care for.
Our Christmas this year has been marred by ill health, DH has had a tummy bug and I've got a streaming cold. Despite this he was well enough yesterday to tuck into a toned down version of the normal feast with no starter and no pud and we caught up with family and friends on the phone. Last night I could stand the cabin fever no more and went for a 30 min walk- it was freezing cold but was lovely and the people I met responded in kind to my "Merry Christmas" offerings.

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DIDMIS 12/25/2012 9:29PM

    emoticon

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SWEETYOUNGTHING 12/25/2012 9:22PM

    I was a Scrooge all this holiday season. All our company left by 7 pm. It was a nice day but I'm glad the holiday is over. Glad you enjoyed your holiday (despite being a bit "bah humbug-ish" :-)

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SLENDERELLA61 12/25/2012 9:11PM

    You got through it!! Good for you. Tomorrow won't be as much commotion and then I hope you get well rested. Take care. Be patient with yourself. -Marsha

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MORTICIAADDAMS 12/25/2012 8:45PM

    Reminds me of years past when I had 3 Christmas celebrations to go to. Too much!!!

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