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Sunny sunday

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Boy did it ever rain last night, fast and furious so much so that the back area is flooded again. Oh well thats okay I don't have to go there. lol
So was on the puter till midnight last night going through sites and info etc. and then didnt' wake till 9:20 super late for me! Was tired after breakfast but then picked up energy. DD had sent me an email that she told the rescue owner that we would be amoung the ones applying for a puppy etc. so read that to dh and then went to my next email. Few mins later he said go back to FB and look at that puppy okay what He said I want tyou to apply for the bigger one. Okay ...... I tell you - we both know it isn't time, we both miss marlo, but when hubby wants a puppy then he has fallen in love cos he can say no to any I show him. So applied and so did quite a few others. I hope that with dd fostering and also telling them, it will up our chances but if not okay. I was fine with it later on that eve.

that is her sweet face, he has really fallen for her. I liked her sister as well as she is a reddish colour. I think he remembers marlo in this one. But we have lost more than one dog so know there is no replacement.

Food wise, have done great today. I have decided to stay off wheat, not just because of GMO etc but cos I know if I eat it I get cravings, there is no such thing as one cookie for me. I will concentrate on veggies and fruit ( trying harder to limit it or at least to more berries, apples etc not bananas which I could eat tons of...) and limit as I have been processed foods.
So healthy veggies, meat ( less that I have been with more fish Hmm hubby won't like that oh well lol) and frut. and on occasion if out or with co. a dessert which doesnt always mean sweet, could be apple crisp or something not just cookies or cakes.

Exercise will be as my body lets me, which for now is a bit at a time. I am fine with that cos was so bad for so long just happy to be able to move. Also helping with renos and painting. Oh and can't forget my 2 hrs monday eve tai chi! LOL hoping by mid Oct to go back to back care yoga, but will see.

So now have acorn squash and sweet potato in oven roasting and will make some meat in bit. Going to make less meat for me. May steam some green and yellow wax beans.

Gotta go for now but thanks for the replies. hugs and lots of love. I needed it as we all do from time to time.

Cya and have a great eve/day!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MORTICIAADDAMS 9/24/2012 10:23PM

    I agree with your hubby. That do is adorable!!!

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NEW-CAZ 9/24/2012 3:08AM

    That's my girl Cinders!
You've picked yourself up and found something that works for you-which is always wise. No point in living someone elses methods as they're bound to crash and burn.

Have a good week emoticon

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JOYINKY 9/23/2012 8:58PM

    Puppy is too cute!

So glad you've decided on a plan that will work for you. I know what you mean about bananas; I have to limit how many I buy, the same with grapes. I imagine it's because they are so high in sugar. My favorite fruit for a treat is partially thawed blueberries; they have become my "Ice Cream" substitute. You do know what works for you; what makes you feel good and what makes you sorry you didn't remember how you feel after eating it! Some of the foods we love, actually leave us with a hangover of sorts; or other physical discomfort. That's telling us something and then we get into "stinkin' thinkin' " and tell ourselves that it will be OK "this time". I think that's called insanity. Guess we all have a little. Glad you had a good day. Hugs.

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ALEXSGIRL1 9/23/2012 8:35PM

    Love this i can see from your blog that things are looking up and you seem to be be more positive. I think you have a great plan for eating , I limit my sugar also it took me a while but now i can have coffee with just cocounut milk and no sugar and plain greek yorgurt no sugar. and rarely a dessert.. Like you I have to do better with the breads because i have eaten a half of loaf of Italian bread. That puppy is super cute and will keep you on your toes. have a great week full of happiness and smiles emoticon

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ANJAYS-JOURNEY 9/23/2012 5:59PM

    awesome nice to hear you are back on track for the meantime lol!!!
Hope you get the puppy she is so cute

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COSMIC_ENERGY 9/23/2012 4:39PM

    Yummy--butternut squash in my fav. Roast and blend into soup with coconut milk and spices.

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Okay............. too much thinking can be a pain

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Here I am in one of those tooo much thinking modes again! I am not eating enough and not eating particularly good either. Seems I start this after a while of primal paleo eating.
I have been on MDA ( marks daily apple for those non primal paleo souls) for the past 2 hrs reading diff. threads on the forum.

""You should work on listening to your body. Eat what it wants... hell, even if it's not primal. If you find a way to eat that allows you to simultaneously enjoy eating WITHOUT obsession, worry, or fear... that's the "sweet spot". "

found that on there... someone had said that Primal had given them an eating disorder. she was having a hard time going primal and not wanting carbs. People responded some comiserating, some saying well dont do it then some saying suck it up. whatever when I found that I thought That is what hubby keeps saying. but with a diff. he feels that you can have willpower and you are not addicted to sugar, or carbs. I disagree with that totally . but I also agree with what I put up there from the other person.
Seems my problem this past while is I am getting totally obsessed with GMO and chemicals not just that a food may or may not be primal but that it is so totally bad for us. So if I was to not eating all the processed junk and stay away from sugar, then that is nearly primal anyway so maybe I have to change my outlook and think dont eat junk and so much processed. Okay but then it still brings me back to my hardest question.... breakfast....... lol and again for Grokgranny EGGS! LOL
I am not really laughing cos this is getting obsesive and I am not eating. Then I end up not eating healthy either. I also have to make myself KNOW that I am worth the time and I have the time to make that salad. For months I was doign well with smoothie or salad everyday, then the meds and pain were back and now I am wanting carbs.
So after writing this, I will say we had chicken soup homemade for supper, I was starving after, there are brownies on cupboard and haven't had any all eve. and nothign else. Nearly had 2 slices of toast but had no butter to put on it, was all froze. and heaven forbid marg. with all that chemicals.
OMG I have created a monster in myself. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MORTICIAADDAMS 9/24/2012 10:21PM

    I'm craving carbs too and trying to break myself of it.

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JAZZID 9/24/2012 1:38AM

    ... I have nothing muchto add, but I have been there and know how frustrating it can all be!

Hang in there, this is a life long journey... you will eventually find your "sweet spot!"

emoticon I am rooting for you emoticon

emoticon ~ Dee emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/24/2012 1:41:14 AM

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ALEXSGIRL1 9/23/2012 11:45AM

    okay i am no expert but food is supposed to nourish your body so when I get up if I am hungry I think what is best for me a smoothie with fruit., cottage cheese an english muffin and fruit. .egg in a cup with vegetables yorgert and fruit. snacks more fruit or nuts. lunch is usually a salad or smoothie with whey protein. salad has protein,fruit and nuts and lots of greens. then supper comes and I think how hungry am I what do i have to cook that is healthy grains vegetables and fruits and protein. The least amount of junk boxed foods is best. I don't track but I stay in 5 pound range under or over. I don't spend the whole day obsessing with food. my body is a temple and deserves the best healthiest foods i can put in it and i eat till i am full the End . Have a great day.

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JOYINKY 9/23/2012 11:29AM

    Cindy, I have to keep it simple; I can't be "thinking about food" all the time. I don't want to give it that much space in my head. I count calories, protein grams and fitness minutes; period. I eat vegetarian because I like to; including dairy, eggs and fish because I feel better with the extra protein. I don't "forbid" myself anything but over the years have found that many foods are just not worth the calories and some foods- I can't control my intake. The reason no longer matters; I enjoy those foods by buying only small amounts or enjoying them out; if at all. You know what's healthy. You know what makes you feel best. Only you can figure out your own best plan. I will not be hungry, I will not feel deprived, I will be healthy! That drives my choices. Just be honest with yourself and you won't go wrong. You can do this.

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ANJAYS-JOURNEY 9/23/2012 9:24AM

    oh my goodness Cindy you are as bad as I am when I start to think, but for me at the moment is that stupid house in B.C, then I decide to keep my self busy then I do too much, then I an in too much pain, and oh my goodness girl, I can't believe someout there is so much like me, I have a suggestion, its what I did, I tossed out the anti-inflammatory diet, the asa free diet and the other food plan the doctor had me on, I could not do it it drove me insane and I was miserable as all got out. I want back to how I ate before a vegetariaan celiac, I ate what I want, count my calories my plan is 90/10 90 good 10 bad, when we have extra money which at the moment is not, I buy organic if not I buy local, I don't buy corn unless it is organic, and I go from there. Its working for me, if I want cookies I buy them, I try to eat them by serving size, but I have found if you obsess over it, you put on weight if you do what you can, you lose weight.
But eat what you want to eat.
Hope this helps girl

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NEW-CAZ 9/23/2012 3:15AM

    You should listen to WHITE-LOTUS Cinders, I could not agree more.
You really are your own worst enemy when you're in "thinking" mode.
Come on hun you'll be fine emoticon

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CHRISTINASP 9/23/2012 2:35AM

    You may want to read this article:

I can very much relate to the confusion and the thinking so much about what is the best thing to do.

Maybe it's a first step to just re-introduce a smoothie and/or a salad every day?

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HOUNDLOVER1 9/23/2012 12:55AM

    I know it can be quite overwhelming having to figure out which foods are safe/healthy for us to eat. Many people get so overwhelmed that they give up and don't do anything. That's the worst solution. Taking small steps every day and allowing yourself to make mistakes works better in the long run.
I prioritize this way:
1. get rid of highly processed foods completely, even if they are organic
2. avoid those foods that are highly toxic and/or that you are allergic to, I never eat wheat or soy any more and sugar very rarely
3. avoid GMO foods as much as possible by buying organic and staying away from foods that are usually GMO like corn and soy.
4. eat plenty of fat, moderate protein, low carbs as much as possible
5. whenever possible buy organic or local products that are grown pesticide-free at a farmer's market or co-op.
6. fine tune your diet over time, most people need several months or even longer to get to this point

If necessary take these steps one at a time, starting with eliminating all highly processed foods that contain wheat, soy or corn and anything that you are allergic to.
Not having it in the house is important if at all possible.
Sometimes taking one babystep every day works better than taking bigger steps once a week.
emoticon emoticon emoticon


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COSMIC_ENERGY 9/22/2012 11:04PM

    Stop thinking! Do the best you can. Don't be so hard on yourself. I buy organic if it's at the store I'm at, if not the studies are showing that eating healthy fresh fruits/vegs vs processed does is as important as organic (studies are not yet showing that does more good yet).

I don't like GMO, but do the best you can. Cut sugar, fat (meat, eggs, animal products--in my opinion and many studies show it cuts cancer rates), processed foods, white starches (empty calories)

I get that pain and or lack of sleep brings out cravings for junk. Hang in there. emoticon

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CHANGING-TURTLE 9/22/2012 9:39PM


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Sad and crying

Saturday, September 22, 2012

I think I am finally grieving marlo... I have been looking at puppy pics on the 2 foster places that dd deals with. She fosters for one. Anyway, there are these 2 puppies who just caught my heart. I have been looking at lots, and sending pics to hubby and sent these 2 and we sat talkign about them one at each computer. This is the first time he actually did more than say yea, not now. So dd called said they are at the local petcetera and oh they are sweet and soft ect. so I called them said yes they are there, they are not for sale, but we are havign them to show for cool dogs. Yes I know can we see them yes. So we headed out and got there she said you can look at them but thats all. Not what I was told on phone. I said well mydd fosters for this rescue and she went in. Oh that was me and I shouldn't have let her.... so hubby stormed out just cos of the misunderstanding. Boy his fuse is so friggin short. I left and we got the plumbing stuff and then the door. I called dd told her, she felt bad cos she told us to go see them. not her fault.
And on the way home, we were both quiet, I said what are you thinking about, thinking it isnt' the right time. I agree totally but now am sad. sadder than when she wouldnt let us go in. Anyway I miss marlo.
Funny enough Hubby finally got to go through the records as I mentioned, calling out do you remember.... some I did some were our time some were mums time, I said OMG tom jones delilah mum and I used to dance around and sing that, oh what eveer. then he said good night Irene and I said with catch in my voice mum used to sing that all the time, so often and started to cry. I was talkign to dd later about the dogs adn told her about the songs and barely could tell her.
SO now I miss my mum and my dog and jsut want to eat........ nothing here not even fruit I want. salad fixings and apples but no thanks. i want home made buscuits and or ice cream or oh I dont' know I lknow I dont really want that I say as I wipe the tears from my face. OH MAN.

Editing to say I am fine now, just was frustrated. now am only frustrated at myself lol same ole same ole lol

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GGMOM06 9/24/2012 10:46PM

    emoticon emoticon

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CHRISTINASP 9/23/2012 2:47AM

Just take your tiime to grieve.... I know it's hard but we must do it to be able to move on - you can't just force yourself to move on. You loved Marlo.... of couse you miss her... and the feeling of loss will just extend so you will feel the pain of other losses, too... basically I believe that is a healing pain...
I think it's a good idea to not rush into getting another dog. It can't replace the dog you lost... won't take away the grief, that will just take it's time. I think.

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HOUNDLOVER1 9/23/2012 1:03AM

    I'm glad that you can grieve the dog that you lost, even when it's hard. I hope you can come to the place of mostly fond memories soon. I've lost several dogs over the years and it never gets any easier.
I know that there will be another dog for you, and it will work out when the time is right, it always does.

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ALEXSGIRL1 9/22/2012 7:24PM


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ELIZRN 9/22/2012 7:19PM

  How wonderful that you were able to be in "that food place" & to see/feel it clearly & then move out. When we get to see how our emotions are connected to our desire to binge & especially the specific foods....that is SO MUCH SELF-CONTROL & GROWTH. That is coming up the ladder to Divinity.

Another thing....think about the dog that is truly meant for you & waiting. It is there.


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JOYINKY 9/22/2012 7:17PM


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TEMPEST272002 9/22/2012 6:23PM

    Hugs. Grief is a funny thing - it comes like the ocean in ebbs and flows. Icecream will not make you feel better. Having a little cuddle with hubby might.

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ANJAYS-JOURNEY 9/22/2012 6:00PM

    So sorry Cindy, it is so difficult for you at the moment, so much going on!!!

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GETSALONG 9/22/2012 5:30PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SCRAPPINPOLLY 9/22/2012 5:14PM

    I'm so sorry about the loss of your Marlo and your mom. Grieving is so hard to go through. I hope you have a good weekend.

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Sunday eve

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Slept in today till 9:30! haven't done that in years. We told dad we would meet him at 10:15 so some quick stepping for the two of us . lol
Had a good day mostly. Friends that we saw 2 wks ago, when they brought their son down to university texted saying we are here want to meet for coffee. Well they were bringing ds back to uni. and had their older one with them. HMM?? he lives on the other coast of Canada. Here was story, our friend Ian's mother passed unexpectedly and they were home fro funeral. So sad that it was, was nice to see them again so soon.
I am struggling again. I wish to high heavens that I could just stick to something, something that was healthy and good for you. I can do primal for months and then bang it is back to wanting and craving sweets. But really if I think of it not really craving bread just sweet. Perhaps have had too much sugar and that has started the carb craving again? I don't know but know there is nothing I want. 2 wks or so ago when I was hungry an apple was awesome, today not at all. I want cookies lol that would be a real mess wehat and sugar.
Anyway I know if some of you say moderation is the way, I have tried that for 30 years and doesn't work, I either can have no sweets ie cookies etc. or eat them. There is no happy medium. So I chose not to have them. Fine, but then started on the it is too hard to find stuff to eat. I know my portion control is wrong probablly but I don't really know.
So tomorrow will be start day again. I HATE saying that cos so often I just am lieing to me and you. But tomorrow I start the beginners tai chi so figured, if I do that as a start, and go back to eating better I can say mid sept was my start.
I think also that I am discouraged cos I really felt in my heart that this year I could change, Yes I did I ate healthier for more part of this year than I ever have. Then in May my pain started up again, I allow that to be "more of an issue" than I should. Many on here are on the chair team and have much worse pain than I. But my all or nothign gets in the way and I tend to think well drs have said don't walk and actually as most know there was time I couldnt' walk but I could have biked some, or did the chair stuff etc. Also doesnt help having a hubby say don't do.... you will hurt yourself and also you over do it evrytime, ( yes I do mostly!)
So tomorrow am........... healthy breakfast hmmm no fruit in house nothing much even though I got groceries. nothing good on sale this week and have to say with fall winter wont be as much choice and more $$. I just don't know what to eat other than eggs.......... have a spark friend that laughs at me and my eggs issues. lol but no idea how she can eat such limited fare. hats off to grokgranny!
Okay off to figure my day and get to bedf earlier than I did last night.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Moderation doesn't work for me either. What works for me is low carb. If I eat a serving of bread it triggers cravings and a down fall.

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GROKGRANNY 9/17/2012 4:51PM

    I am so, so sorry that you are struggling with the diet. WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE, SO YOU HAVE LOTS OF COMPANY AND YOU ARE SAFE HERE WITH US!!

It sucks!!

My husband is the same with sweets. It's like it's in his DNA. I would prefer a salt lick. lol But he can only take it so long and then he goes off. Plus the bad part for him is that he is diabetic!!

Hope Tai Chi is fun and relaxing. My friend goes and loves it (think I told you?) Let us know how you like it.

(I also saw your post on my blog from today. While on protocol I am not eating much at all, but actually with rotating foods I do okay when I'm eating around 1200-1500 cals).

Hugs to you and hang in there!!

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ANJAYS-JOURNEY 9/17/2012 7:46AM

    Cindy I bake gluten free muffins, and I keep them in the freezer so I just have one, also glutino chocolate fingers or lemon fingers although have sugar in them or wheat free, as you know they are good, as you ate them at my place, I find if I don't allow myself to indulge then I struggle, but if I have one treat night a week that is what I call my 10%, I cruise right along, this week was nachos, now I am back on track my treat night is always a Friday night or if we are on a challenge a Saturday night. But I feel we must be happy with how we eat, if not we are fighting a losing battle, hope this helps, oh and by and by, it is the meds that made you crave carbs, everyone I talke too has problems craving carbs with gabapentin and lyrica, just a thought to ponder, take care and have a wonderful day.

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NEW-CAZ 9/17/2012 3:15AM

    I think your perfectionist is showing again Cinders and maybe trying too hard to stick to something that doesn't suit so after a while it becomes a chore.
If you eat healthily and have some treats it's okay- just don't go overboard emoticon
Tai Chi sounds interesting.
I know DH is worried you'll hurt yourself but you know your body best so if you want to try something, try it, better to have tried it and seen if the exercise is suitable than to wonder about it forever more emoticon
It could also be that will FALL on the way your inner cavewoman is telling you to take on carbs for happens to me emoticon

Have a good week emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/17/2012 3:15:33 AM

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Wet and wild Monday

Monday, September 10, 2012

WOW what wind and rain, that is what woke me up instead of the alarm. lol I have chiro earlier today so we have to leave by 9 am., so was fine to be woken up at 7:30! lol
It is still humid and close as mum would say, even though it is pouring and windy, hurricane type weather. I will have to look and see how close "Leslie " is to us.

So weighed myself last eve, OMG I am so disgusted, yes I gained with the prednisone and yes some was my own fault but have gained yet again. Hubby says check your pills cos I haven't seen you eating lots more or anything. Sure enough........ so hoping that today I will feel well enough and do the bike, even if it is in 10 min spurts. I can't even believe I was below 180 so far from that now. Oh well will weigh this am, as I should know better than weigh at night, and yes it is only a number but know I have gained.

So today is chiro,then reno and then figure what we need for plumbing and maybe go get that. At 4:30 go to homedepot and get ds stove for him so that when he gets off work they can bring it into the house. Lets hope it stops raining some by then or it will be soaked. Geesh well at leas the box will be.

have to go shower now, and get ready to leave soon. Hope you all are well and will try to get here daily again! LOL

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    We had that muggy weather before the rains came and then it has cooled off for a few days again.

It's a bummer to gain as I well know. And it's really hard not to when you have to take steroids. You have a good plan to work on it.

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ALEXSGIRL1 9/10/2012 7:33PM

    have a happy day

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JOYINKY 9/10/2012 9:12AM

    Have a good day Cindy!

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ANJAYS-JOURNEY 9/10/2012 7:48AM

    hope all goes well today, and you have a great day emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 9/10/2012 7:38AM

    Hope your appt goes well emoticon

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