Saturday, September 22, 2012
I think I am finally grieving marlo... I have been looking at puppy pics on the 2 foster places that dd deals with. She fosters for one. Anyway, there are these 2 puppies who just caught my heart. I have been looking at lots, and sending pics to hubby and sent these 2 and we sat talkign about them one at each computer. This is the first time he actually did more than say yea, not now. So dd called said they are at the local petcetera and oh they are sweet and soft ect. so I called them said yes they are there, they are not for sale, but we are havign them to show for cool dogs. Yes I know can we see them yes. So we headed out and got there she said you can look at them but thats all. Not what I was told on phone. I said well mydd fosters for this rescue and she went in. Oh that was me and I shouldn't have let her.... so hubby stormed out just cos of the misunderstanding. Boy his fuse is so friggin short. I left and we got the plumbing stuff and then the door. I called dd told her, she felt bad cos she told us to go see them. not her fault.
And on the way home, we were both quiet, I said what are you thinking about, thinking it isnt' the right time. I agree totally but now am sad. sadder than when she wouldnt let us go in. Anyway I miss marlo.
Funny enough Hubby finally got to go through the records as I mentioned, calling out do you remember.... some I did some were our time some were mums time, I said OMG tom jones delilah mum and I used to dance around and sing that, oh what eveer. then he said good night Irene and I said with catch in my voice mum used to sing that all the time, so often and started to cry. I was talkign to dd later about the dogs adn told her about the songs and barely could tell her.
SO now I miss my mum and my dog and jsut want to eat........ nothing here not even fruit I want. salad fixings and apples but no thanks. i want home made buscuits and or ice cream or oh I dont' know I lknow I dont really want that I say as I wipe the tears from my face. OH MAN.
Editing to say I am fine now, just was frustrated. now am only frustrated at myself lol same ole same ole lol
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Slept in today till 9:30! haven't done that in years. We told dad we would meet him at 10:15 so some quick stepping for the two of us . lol
Had a good day mostly. Friends that we saw 2 wks ago, when they brought their son down to university texted saying we are here want to meet for coffee. Well they were bringing ds back to uni. and had their older one with them. HMM?? he lives on the other coast of Canada. Here was story, our friend Ian's mother passed unexpectedly and they were home fro funeral. So sad that it was, was nice to see them again so soon.
I am struggling again. I wish to high heavens that I could just stick to something, something that was healthy and good for you. I can do primal for months and then bang it is back to wanting and craving sweets. But really if I think of it not really craving bread just sweet. Perhaps have had too much sugar and that has started the carb craving again? I don't know but know there is nothing I want. 2 wks or so ago when I was hungry an apple was awesome, today not at all. I want cookies lol that would be a real mess wehat and sugar.
Anyway I know if some of you say moderation is the way, I have tried that for 30 years and doesn't work, I either can have no sweets ie cookies etc. or eat them. There is no happy medium. So I chose not to have them. Fine, but then started on the it is too hard to find stuff to eat. I know my portion control is wrong probablly but I don't really know.
So tomorrow will be start day again. I HATE saying that cos so often I just am lieing to me and you. But tomorrow I start the beginners tai chi so figured, if I do that as a start, and go back to eating better I can say mid sept was my start.
I think also that I am discouraged cos I really felt in my heart that this year I could change, Yes I did I ate healthier for more part of this year than I ever have. Then in May my pain started up again, I allow that to be "more of an issue" than I should. Many on here are on the chair team and have much worse pain than I. But my all or nothign gets in the way and I tend to think well drs have said don't walk and actually as most know there was time I couldnt' walk but I could have biked some, or did the chair stuff etc. Also doesnt help having a hubby say don't do.... you will hurt yourself and also you over do it evrytime, ( yes I do mostly!)
So tomorrow am........... healthy breakfast hmmm no fruit in house nothing much even though I got groceries. nothing good on sale this week and have to say with fall winter wont be as much choice and more $$. I just don't know what to eat other than eggs.......... have a spark friend that laughs at me and my eggs issues. lol but no idea how she can eat such limited fare. hats off to grokgranny!
Okay off to figure my day and get to bedf earlier than I did last night.
Monday, September 10, 2012
WOW what wind and rain, that is what woke me up instead of the alarm. lol I have chiro earlier today so we have to leave by 9 am., so was fine to be woken up at 7:30! lol
It is still humid and close as mum would say, even though it is pouring and windy, hurricane type weather. I will have to look and see how close "Leslie " is to us.
So weighed myself last eve, OMG I am so disgusted, yes I gained with the prednisone and yes some was my own fault but have gained yet again. Hubby says check your pills cos I haven't seen you eating lots more or anything. Sure enough........ so hoping that today I will feel well enough and do the bike, even if it is in 10 min spurts. I can't even believe I was below 180 so far from that now. Oh well will weigh this am, as I should know better than weigh at night, and yes it is only a number but know I have gained.
So today is chiro,then reno and then figure what we need for plumbing and maybe go get that. At 4:30 go to homedepot and get ds stove for him so that when he gets off work they can bring it into the house. Lets hope it stops raining some by then or it will be soaked. Geesh well at leas the box will be.
have to go shower now, and get ready to leave soon. Hope you all are well and will try to get here daily again! LOL
Sunday, September 09, 2012
Man it is so humid. We have had no rain all day, other areas have had rain and some heavy rain. It feels like tropical storm/hurricane weather. We have one that is supposed to by pass us. Lets hope.
Well haven't felt like blogging lately, nothing to say or nothing diff. but then realized that wasn't true.
Yesterday was the best day I have had in probably 2 months. I was able to walk over to our local harvest festival and back with out issues. While there got some neat info, did a few physical tests - did poorly on them all. Was interesting as it was a co. that does physio and balance stuff and boy did I do poor. Then went to some more booths got a free learn to walk with nordic poles, and a free ti chi class. We bought some fresh corn and blueberries.
Later we drove an hr and bit to get our trailer set up for seasonal, we had to go pay the deposit and then also go look around at the site. We have camped there and enjoyed it and it is a nice place, lots for kids to do and not as expensive as the other place. Today my knees are aching like arthritis but is so humid my cothes even feel damp. ewwwy. Have some pain but not too bad; today we went to look for flooring but wasn't there. nufff said stupid store. We found some that isnt that much more that we like better but that store wasnt open on sundays. lol
No renos as hubby has muscle pain in his belly area. No idea what he did but thnk could have been firday when we were doing the floor. he was c/o of his back hurting.
Tomorrow i go to chiro early then we have nothing else planned. I must get to dads and start packing some stuff.
Okay think I am caught up. going to go open some windows I was cold then muggy now hot. have been gettng so many more hot flashes, wondering if it is the pills, or just more menopause.
Wednesday, September 05, 2012
Good Morning Sparkers....
I am having a good day so far, it is 9:39 am, have been to dr and back allready. Yes it is better to get in early so you don't wait but my symptoms are worse as the day goes. But thats okay, he ahd results of CT scan and they are not that diff than last year. Good news as it didn't get worse. He says that he feels this will be a continuing trend, good, then flare up, then good. He does feel it will get worse or longer times to get better, which we are seeing allready but said I can send you to dr bond but as long as you can still do the tests he did he won't do a cortisone shot, I an still bend forward and backward and to the sides. As for Spec. he said he will probably not do surg. yet and will say when it gets worse. He said your is agravated with the arthritis and such and also your knees. He checked my L knee and of course after a good nights sleep it wasn't too bad. I go see him in 3wks and booked one for end of Oct.
So not a lot new, just hadn't bloged in while cos busy or by end of day too sore to sit.
Hope everyone has been well and doing their best.
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