Saturday, September 19, 2009
What a day yesterday was! I woke up and thought get this house cleaned. Dh does very little to help me and I work full time. Granted I am the one that leaves things laying around more than he but still.
So started a bit, then felt my strange depression coming. I think I have written about that before. I dont think that I get depressed that often but when I do, I can actually feel it like a blanket coming over me. Sort of wraps me in it. Felt that coming said to dh, lets just go to our land today. we own 3 acres of wooded land about an hr or so away. Packed a picnic and off we went. Had a good time, but still didnt feel great inside. I am really missing mum a lot and think that my grieving is starting. I know I haven't done much of that probably cos I wouldnt allow myself to with the new job and keeping things on an even keel.
Anyway we went, had a good time and came home. Made supper and then I had a chocking spell, I dont cough. something feels or does get stuck in my pipe and i cant breath or drink. It hurts bad. All I do is produce bubbles in my mouth that I have to spit. so this continued for afew mins, then dh came down to the bathroom with water drink... omg the pain with a tiny sip of water. but it eventually brought up whatevr it was.
Then I started crying, man i cried and he said he was thinking bet she wants her mum. I lookd up off his shoulder said oh i want my mum and bawled. he just held me.
I got over that and came on here, and lo and behold mama grizz was here. Thank god for her as she listened, chatted and kept me focused and cared. Made me promise to take care of me. I allready know that is super hard and will take forever to even get started.
THANKS again dear friend.
So woke this morning, after a mostly painfree night, and walked the dog farther than we have in long while. Now today will be groceries and housework. I will some how take time for me. Later I will go walk again. IF the rain holds off, we will or I will go to the beach. between 11 and 2 we have someone coming to give us an estimate on the driveway widen and re pave it.
okay rambling now. gotta go get some breakfast. cya
and hugs to all but just a great big smile for mama grizz! LOL she will know why!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
First off I called in sick today. I had such a headache and an apt with my physiotherapist who does alternative treatments. Well just as I did the last time I went to see him 2 years ago, boy do I feel light. So much better, he worked on the upper gum of my mouth to fix my back! go figure you have to be open to this stuff but I know from last time it worked. He worked on other areas to fix my hips. hmmm So did that and some stuff with my neck and boy I feel better. said I may feel woozy but would be okay. He got me to sit up and he put his hand near my R side of head and said concentrate on that side of your head. I did and said feels full and heavy. good. then said keep on and it felt same, suddenly felt very strong pain in lower back....... said okay keep thinking of side of head, and both pains left. I felt very clear. I know some are going to say yea whatever but if you believe it I do feel it will help.
So cos I went to do this today, and CJs blog was today, I am feeling very empowered. Dh is busy with his new puter, so I will go down to dads, do a load of laundry and then help him look for some of mums cards ( point ones more than credit) and then come home and veg. I bought myself some scrapbooking stuff today so hope to get started on ds book. I would love to get that done for him for xmas but not sure I can get it done by then. Oh well thats okay, just want to cos then will want to work on baby one.
Well best go for now. just wanted to add that this is a great day and I hope someone that reads mine gets something from cjs blog too.
HUGS to you all. now to go give my dad a hug.cya
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
Brrr chilly this morning, but I do love fall the most. Woke a tad earlier so just got up. Now I even had time to do some stretching. That is great especially for my job. lol some days feels like the seniors are going to lug me around.
Well up.4 today, deserved. I havent been as diligent and it showed. Luckily it was only that. But I must get my water in better than this and also get out of the junk. 2 nights at 11 pm I ate when I got home from work, so frustrated just felt hungry. HMMM doubt i was but ate. And that costco and their junk isles. Anyway we bought junk yet again and both of the treats didnt taste as good as I remember. sooooooooooo that taste has to stay in my mind so I dont take any more. I will tell dh they are yours, like he needs that junk with his system. Oh maybe this is what some say, they start not enjoying the treats as much. That would be nice. lol
Today, I work days, and then will come home and talk to dh, and then get a new dvd from library and try it, plan to ride the bike again. Will have to check that after I get home, see how sore I am from work. My foot is bothering me again and I wasnt even at work, also behind my knee seems as if one of the tendons or ligaments is tight as it wont bend well when walking. lol that should be interesting for work!
Okay off I go, one of my seniors is 82 and he said noone is to make a fuss. he is so deserving of a fuss. I made a card and will say happy bday but wont bother him till I see how he is about it. Usually they all sing happy bday. he is well liked so imagine they will.
Best scoot check my other email etc. and then get on the way.
Have a super day and make great choices. My issues are work, I dont take $ to buy any thing it is when i get home. So home, water walk dog. lol
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