Thursday, February 02, 2012
Okay, after a mini major meltdown yesterday and eve, with moods and feelings all over the board, I went to bed sad, dejected and just blah. Hubby came up and said you are going to cry again, don't feel so bad, we were staying here and have great ideas and plans you like doing this stuff and our mortgage isn't up for renewal for 2.5 years anyway. This will work, and you know we will decide in 3-5 years from now... So I said yes and we talked, discussed, cuddled, I cried some more and it so often comes down to I want mum. So yes we are staying and I am not even going to think of looking. We start renos here Monday. Hubby said I said first week of feb. and I want this weekend to have off and monday we will start by moving rest of stuff upstairs to new workout room and then pull some carpet out.
I called the realtor back and she said well it is subject to the sale of a condo in Portland hills which is super $$$$. I did think OH! then said NO don't get excited.. I told her if it went up when we were ready, then I would call her. Of course she wanted to have my info said no, we are not ready to even list. So have onone bothering us and today I will go buy the paint for the kitchen so I feel as if I have a project too.
I am "starting over" again too. One cos my back made me stop the exercise valid but still, even not being able to stretch made it all impossible. My back still catches when I put my socks on but much better now. and two cos I have eaten well still, but last eve for supper we had a can of stew. ew processed and didnt taste anything as good as my homemade. I had a cup of hot choc. too watered down but ew. So back to thinking good about this house, eating clean and not adding extra stress that we don't need.
Meeting dad at the bank ( stress enough!!!) in half hr. He is moving an act so all are at same bank and thinks I have to sign, well probably not but he wants moral support. Mum did all banking stuff, he gets very anxious then gruff.
I wanted to get dd counter and sink in, that is all that is left at her place, hubby said I will do it, but want to start here. I do too but want to know hers is done! oh well that's okay it will be done, sooner than later.
Now off to brush my teeth and get the spinach out of them! LOL
Hope all of you have a good day and don't give yourself added stress.
BTW my smoothie tasted great!
HUGS for me!!!
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
Now I feel gross, I was craving sweet haven't had sweet in 9 days, not a carb other than fruit... so said I turned down bday cake etc. I will have a hot choc and put less choc but still BLECH and YUK and now I am sad. Not just cos I frigged with my streak and my plans but cos I literally feel rotten drinking it.
Also, makes me frustrated that it was stress that did it, Stress that I am placing on myself totally unecessarly. totally I am thinking constantly about that house. We have an apt for us to go see it tomorrow at 1. I want that house and haven't even see inside, what may or maynot need to be done, if it is big enough, if dad will have room, ettc. and a huge 2 if dad wants to go there, and the bank. so why even stress about it. To the point of if we put in an offer and they accept it pending selling ours, then what if they get a diff offer and we sell ours, then we will be in the same predicament that we were with the one in country, now we have to sell and only 2 that we can afford. Then what cos the one we want will have to fit dad and us and have outside access that dad can get in etc.... but why worry about that we haven't even seen this one. I just know it is only 5 mins from outskirts of city ( 5 mins from where we live) and it is like the country, has some wooded, 80 ft of waterfront... a few back streets to walk the dog on, I just want to be there. It is the best of the "woods- our other dream" and being close to dr and kids. I am sure dad won't care but not sure about all the rest. Also we bought the truck today, awesome deal so fine, but here I am at 55 worried cos dad will always have something to say. always negative and always have to defend ourselves. so I drank choc. better than eating carbs, but wow what a sugar rush that wasn't even good.Pick self up, learn not to get hot choc. but was sick of green tea. And had allready gone to my yoga mat, had lit my candles, even had a nap and a cry. Man I can get down so fast and mostly over nothing or something that isn't in my control.
Anyway just blogging.................... so bored, hungry, dont want to do anything that i have on my papers. and just realized I had broke my streak for exercise of 10 mins day when my back was so bad. I could have done upper but then realized nope anyway I moved it hurt.
OKAY pity party over, we took ds out for his 34th bday and had a great visit, and good time. He quit his 2nd job for a diff. one and is pleased and had some other good news too. so was a nice time, ate well not too much and all primal.
of going to go I don't know what, even hubby said what is wrong, are you goign to cry??? haven't been like this in long while. hmmmmmmm maybe sugar did it all along when I used to blame hormones ?
how about a huge collective ah SH!T not even excited about the truck cos knowing dad will be neg. has always taken the happiness out of vehicles and that is dumb cos that is my take on it.
AH SH!T again.
hugs and back to reg. programing and better signal later! LOL
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Okay no idea why it won't work the other way, cos I can open it , my dd can but no matter I will try to this...
now hope that works, and this is only cos we are interested in this one, not sure about anything yet, just wanted you to see.
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