Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Wondering why I am up ( why did I even get on those scales - it isn't Sat and I tell others the scale isn't the be all and end all) and wishing that I would exercise more, isn't going to help at all.
I am up almost 4 lbs and not really sure why, yes we were away for 2 days and yes I ate more than I should and not clean but geesh..... I have to say I am eating way better, my smoothies are not high cal. mostly composed of spinach, flax seed, bit of hemp seed, almond milk add another veggies usually romaine and cucumber and then one fruit... I am having salad, on the days I dont have smoothies and eating less meat all around. I don't know what I am doing wrong in the food area.
Now coming clean and admitting not enough exercise after my knees aching so bad, I get scared to do much so just barely doing my 10 mins most days sometimes a bit more. I can't seem to get into the chair stuff and just don't do it. When I didn't hurt after exercising I did more and I know that doing it will only help.
So re read my blogs that I wrote doing so well and why do it, visited a few friends that have done great in exercise dept. and today is a slower day for us. We do have dad coming for supper but that's not hard. We are going to take the sauna apart, then hopefully hubby will stay down and help sort some of the stuff in basement. Luckily it is a finished basement, and has a huge window so not like a dungeon but is a dull foggy day.
OKAY enough lamenting on things and just DO IT. I am not sore today, so would be a good day to do 10 mins now, 10 later and see how I do and then do 10 more again later.
Sometimes writing it all out, puts it all in perspective. Didn't have smoothie for breakfast today so salad for lunch.
Hugs to you all and will be back later and I promise ME and YOU 10 mins then another later, I will be walking with JOYINKY and she will push me along!
Monday, January 16, 2012
Sun sun and more, but bittttter cold. Oh well thankfully I have long johns, hat and mitts and a warm house. I do need desperately get out and buy some veggies etc. as I didn't have enough to make my smoothie so made us both oatmeal. yum too
I slept from 11 till 9, hubby a bit longer. He says he feels better and even his ears aren't as bad. I woke with headache but the weather has gone from damp to really cold. If it doesnt go will take tylenol, not keen on them but not having this ferocious pounding all day.
So today I want to go buy a sample of paint, one store has their samples for 1 $ as they are getting rid of them. If they have that one I want will be worth comparing the two I can't really decided on. We need groceries, hubby wants thicker socks and later we will go to Thomas and visit on his real bday. I would have loved to stayed and visited and saw more of the party and the babies and such. Oh well thats okay. Chris is off his 2nd job this eve so will visit everyone. He loves his aqua doodle thing so pleased with that and we got a few pictures. Mike son in law got a few too so hope I can get them from Lisa.
Well not much more new, phone just rang, hubby said to whoever I feel much much better. best go change laundry loads, and get stuff going....
hugs to all!!!!
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Sugar broke my streak, don't see a blog from Sat. but sure I did oh well who knows. not a problem at all especially after my Sat night and drive home today!!!
Okay some may know my background, some may not. quick look back my hubby has been off work since age 47 ( now 53) because of severe depression and even worse anxiety. He took a long while to get med regulated. During that time we went through a lot, those tv commercials about depression hurting everyone are sooooooooo true. Anyway without going way back it was a very hard time, and a time when I stood by him cos my medical training said it was a medical problem and not that he didnt love me.
So we left Sat am to go to PEI about 3 hrs and a bit away, we had to stop an hr down the road to pick up his sister and our niece. Okay .... now hubby has been c/o about his ears being plugged for about 2 wks. didn't say much on way there even though a lot of hills and mountains etc. we get there and visit then the family arrives thankfully a big house cos all the kids 7 and his mum and s[pouses and kids - you get the pic ...
Having a great time, a full Christmas dinner, and his brother who bottles his own wine dowling out wine. well hubby only had 4 small half glasses. stopped around 5 or so... so gradually people leave and just the ones that live there, and us and 2 other sister and hubby are staying. so we sat and chatted coffee, decaf tea for us. and then we all started getting ready for bed.
Cos hubby sometimes snores, we took nieces room, she now doesnt have bunk beds so we had a bed and he took our air mattress on floor. shorten the story, at around 3 are you awake... I need you.... so we go to the bathroom cos when he starts getting painicy his IBS starts. So from 3 - 7 am we go from bathroom to bed and quickly back. When he laid down he wasnt able to breathe( well he was but didn't think so) he also thought he was shaking , wasnt and his pulse was fine but he was getting terrified. then went to can't breathe going to die.... etc. he also has to analyze what is causing it so he can rationalize it.
So put it down to brothers homemade wine, didnt' drink much but the tannins etc. and then he pulling at straws said susan changed her laundry soap... so burp, burp burp, omg omg, i am going to die. MUR breath................ come on so I sat on edge of tub, and breathed with him but it was making me burp and get heartburn.
One good thing was that I get nervous cos of his previous way of dealing ( which was to max out cards with cash and leave then call crying lost and scared and come back put the $$$$$ on cards back and start okay for while) ( that was only when messing with meds has been fine for that since 2006 and half lol so he said something and said whats wrong i said scared you are going to leave.... HE freaks thinking I mean die as that is what he is thinking. I said no breathhhhhhhhh i mean leave and there is available $$ right now. So got that in the open. he said when we get the bills paid, you can take it back and put rest in the acct that is yours only. we will see what we want go to bank get it and go back to store adn buy it. so cos he was allready in that state, he was able to realize why I said it and to agree.
So at 7 am we head downstairs sil and niece slept in living room so we hoped they would wak early adn we would get a head start as we had Thomas grandson birthday to go to when we got home. WHEW so he felt okay fro a bit so off we went. said good by cos they were all waking up then. Then we drove for abut an hr and bit and he pulls over said I am dizzy and want you to drive. Fine but he always drives so know it is bad. Anyway we drop off sil and get home. rest for few mins and go to thomas in time to sing happy bday. Hubby stayed by the door, a big crowd of people some he didnt know, kids playing crying etc. I was able to take a afew pics oif his cake and him and get a kiss and thats was it. come now we have to leave. so explained to both our kids what was up adn we went home.
So we both had a short nap, then he fell asleep again, and ow is laying on his chair with housecoat and blanket hoping to nap.
Needless to say I hope he can sleep this eve cos we have been up since sat am at 7!!! with about 2 hrs sleep and within that driving for 7 hrs total.
I hope and pray that he is only having an inner ear infection or sinus infe. and that it isnt anxiety coming back............. we talked a lot last night cos it helps him and i said if it is dad or renos tell me now... we can back out tell dad it is tooooo $$ or something. but he says no.
So that was my weekend, good, bad, and ate too much, my plan was one sweet well had too many and knwo that was stress cos not always good with all his family is together and his mum.
But tomorrow is another day adn we will great it adn what is in store then. and if we need to go to hospital at least it is ours. but he wont go. lol hoping to get him to duty dr or a cancellation with ours
so what can I do today to make my tomorrow better........
breath!!!!!!! think positive!!! and hope and pray hubby will be okay. adn now I lol hahah leave you with this.
the birthday boy after the party!!!"watching his dad's team play!!"
day before he is 2!!! lol
HUGS and hope you all had a better weekend than I!! but we got home safe and sound and had a good visit in the eve! think positive. almost even had him agree to go to yoga or learn meditation. think that wont last though lol
Friday, January 13, 2012
Slushy mess now other than the snow banks, didn't snow too much and hope it continues to warm up till at least we are back from PEI.
Today has been another great day. Had a good chat with my buddy Von and then went and did a bit, back for a few. Got my disability money so will go buy a set of taps that match the other bathrooms and are 50% off! also buy a bday gift for Thomas then dd wants us to come down and look at counter samples. later then have to drive dad and hubby to legion -debating if I will stay or go home then pick them up later. So busy day but will get my ME time as going in sauna today and also have my library books and mags.
I hope you all have a great day, good choices and all... find some Me time and also believe in yourself!!! It really does make a difference.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
I was clearing up my craft room the past two days and I am huge writer - downer lol
I have as my mousepad a pc of paper. When I see a quote, or some info, a name of a book, anything that I find relevant or what to remember I write it down. Today I decided to use notepad and put them all on here and get rid of my paper pile - I don't know what is on what paper, where it is etc.
So in doing so I wrote out a lot of my fav. quotes. I have a spark buddy who is having a very hard time these days, her work is expecting too much, her family well they are the reg. family mum keeps it all together, she is tired, burnt out and next thing she will hurt her body at work cos she is so tired and her body will make her stop. I hope that by writing some of these she will get her spark back and find time for her and realize that life will go on if she doesn't work as much, do as much and make time for her. easy for me to say now, I used to do her work and know how hard it is.
I hope that other sparkers that read this may find encouragement or motivation in one of these quotes too. I don't know who wrote them all and would acknoweldge them if I knew.
HUGS to all and special hugs to VON and also to Carol who is working a lot too learning new special things but takes a lot of her time up.
hugs to you all my spark friends....
If you don't like the road you are walking on, start paving another.
consistency - I choose to achieve my goals because I believe they are valuable and I am worth the effort, even when life gets in the way.
Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change
She turned her can'ts into CANS, and her dreams into PLANS
the more energy I spent investing in myself, the more I started to believe in myself. The more I started to believe in myself, the more the imposed limitations started to peel away.
before you can accomplish anything, you must expect it of yourself.
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