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I DID IT!!!!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Okay BL is over in my part of the country and I did what I set out to do and way way more. I did weights for the first half hr including weights and bands( the rubber band stretches). I also did a few sitting on the ball. Then for 30 mins I rode 8.7 km on the recumbant bike. I got off and stretched, did a few more weights then for the last half hr I stretched and did slow easy flexability stuff. I am so proud.
After reading both replies below I do realize I have to slow down but not sure how. I do really wonder if dh and good Sp friend white lotus has found a point. Maybe I am trying to keep busy cos dont want to stop and see mum failing. I have been very fortunate in my 52 years only 2 people have died that I have known personally. One friends dd died on her 3rd bday, and dh's father died 4 years ago but he wasnt close to him at all. So I dont have all that to fall back on and besides dont think it is the same when it is a parent and I am an only child too. I do know I do better in "nurse " mode and that is what dad is needing so that keeps me busy and not as personal.
So tomorrow, as of now, I will walk the dog, go take them their coffee, get mum up and ready. then instead of the pool I will wash my cupboards and kitchen floor, as they are bothering me. I know it isnt slowing down but i am sick of getting nothing done in my house. I will go to the gym with dh and ride the bike or elliptical. I also will vacumm, dust etc. I will plan some time in the afternoon to go in my sauna then shower etc. also will read my library book and perhaps fall asleep. I want to get the house cleaned as i have to work fri,sat and sun so if i get most of this done tomorrow I also will deal with whatever the homcecare coordinator has to say as it really isnt me that got him angry etc. it is dad and they have spoken. either way I cant let my fear of what he is going to say make me eat. he is a professional doing his job and i still have the palliative care RN backing me. she is awesome. SO I will have thurs to do what I want. Whew. hope I can do this.
But for now i am so pleased that I got that much exercise in. sure does invigorate me and make me want to get back to where i was in my mind. Have to re read my blogs of a few days ago....
Thanks for being on the path with me in all the twists and turns. I hope I can get through all this without gaining wt as it gets harder.
HUGS

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BUNN43 4/15/2009 3:06PM

    You're doing great! Good for you. Everyone's path is different, and only you can walk your own path - just make sure that you are truly taking care of YOU too!
My mom and dad both smoked heavily and died in early 60's . . . yet on both sides we have lots of relatives and direct ancestors who lived to 100!! So I'm hoping to be one of those healthy happy active ones! It was strange to have both parents gone - my kids never really got to know their grandparents, which is a shame.
By the way, the government statistics are quite shocking - in the 20-65 year old group (most of the workers), 34% WON'T make it to 65. In the US it's just over 34%, in Canada it's just under 33%, so quite consistent stats. About one-third die before 65. So, let's take care of ourselves and our health, and NOT be one of those stats.
All the best to you in your journey. - Celia
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JIBBIE49 4/15/2009 12:41AM

    emoticon

Comment edited on: 4/15/2009 6:56:16 PM

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ATRANSFORMATION 4/15/2009 12:18AM

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April 8th Day 17

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Wow what a great day!!!! I find wed. usually a good day cos watched biggest loser and weigh in day for one of my teams. I am only down .2 but think it is cos i havent been drinking my water. So back to that basic.
I am very proud today, what have you done to make you feel proud!? I love that part on BL. I actually exercised while watching it!!! WHOOO cos i used to eat, then sat and didnt eat now am doing the bike or ball stuff.
Today has been super too!! finally a good day all around. Sunny, not too cold. great walk with the dog, mum was okay, dad slept, I went to the pool, then met dh at the gym. There after a HARD workout at water arobics ( the instructor even said I worked you guys hard today!), i went upstairs and did 20 mins on elliptical and then a round on the weight machines and some free wts.
got home to work called, extra shift toay. so off i go to work. I went down to check mum again, and dd was just getting there so dad can go out. So all in all a good day today. Nice to have one once in awhile.
I was also going to blog about the spark quote that we got today.

Most barriers to your success are man made. And most often you are the man that made them.

I really like that. It sure rings true in our house. I admit it, dh maybe not so much LOl
But I am really doing things to change that quote and be successful.
Gotta scoot cos have to get ready for work.
OH forgot went to the grocery store and bought myself a treat!!! A fresh garden salad allready made, came home added a bit of chicken and was so tasty.
YES!!!
CYA
HUGS

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANNAS5 4/9/2009 12:06PM

    so glad you had a wonderful day. all that working out wow! you are certainly doing what it takes. I watched the BL to while sitting on my exercise ball. It is cool to watch the changes those peope make. wonder why they never hit a plateau. they rarely go a week and not lose something. If I worked out as much as they do I wouldn't be able to walk I'd be so sore.
Hope you have another great day

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KEIRALYNN 4/9/2009 12:43AM

    Go Cindy, Go Cindy your doing fantastic

Comment edited on: 4/9/2009 12:43:28 AM

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JIBBIE49 4/8/2009 10:08PM

    Yes, we do make most of our own barriers, don't we. And the fear we have never comes to light.

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VON_1962 4/8/2009 4:41PM

    Super! I am so glad you had such a fantastic day! You so deserve it. Congratulations on your weightloss. Way to go with the exercise and Biggest Loser. I couldn't believe the teams attacking those food trays...totally shocked me. I hope you have a great night at work. Keep up the beat. Oh, I love the quote..it is so true. ((hugs))

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MOMMA_GRIZZ 4/8/2009 11:41AM

    It was so great to read your blog today. Very glad that you are having a great day! Yeah You!

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April 6th Day 15 (expected but not good results on CT scan)

Monday, April 06, 2009

Well results of mums CT scan are back. the cancer has not gotten bigger in lung, nor did it spread to the outside of lung but has gone to the brain. That is sort of what I expected as her confusion is not any better, and yet is down on her pain meds. So now they are saying they can do radiation on it at least to not make it get bigger fast. Not sure what dad is thinking as I wasnt there long. I have extra supper tonight so will take it down to them before I leave for work.
I did go to the pool but didnt work too hard, mind on other things of course. Met dh at the gym upstairs after and I did one round on all the machines but only low wt as first time back since I broke my knee. So busy this morning, and now waiting for a friend to come over for abit, then I have to go to work.
Work will keep my mind busy as well as my hands and mouth. so far so good on the eating. Waiting lunch for my friend but hope she shows up soon.
Guess better go as not much more to say right now.
HUGS

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COSMIC_ENERGY 4/6/2009 2:42PM

    The decision to do radiation at this point is never an easy one. Whatever the choice made I hope you are at pace with it. My mom choose not to do it with her breast cancer which had spread to the spine. She had fairly good quality of life for how advanced the cancer was to the end managed with pain meds. Big hugs. emoticon

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TERRIEJO53 4/6/2009 2:14PM

    Sorry to hear the cancer has gone to your mum's brain. How old is your mum? My dad is 90 and we recently found out he has multiple myeloma, a treatable but incurable cancer of the plasma cell. He also has inoperable (due to his age) lesions on his spine. I'm not sure he is at all interested in going through radiation and chemo at this point. It's the lesions that are causing him pain that has to be managed with morphine patches ... why add the side effects of chemo and radiation to the mix at this point in his life? Still, I'm not ready to lose him and hope he will give it a try. It's hard to watch our parents suffer. I will pray for your mum, and all who love her, to get through this in the best way possible.

Comment edited on: 4/6/2009 2:16:20 PM

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JIBBIE49 4/6/2009 12:49PM

    Lung cancer spreads so easily to the brain. I'm sorry to hear she is dealing with that.
My Nathan went for his Chemotherapy this morning, but his White Blood Cell count was to low and he had to have a shot to stimulate his bone marrow, and he will have to go back tomorrow and get another one. Then wait until next Monday to do another round of his Chemo. emoticon

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MOMMA_GRIZZ 4/6/2009 12:38PM

    I'm very sorry to hear about your Mum's CT scan - it does explain a lot. Big Hugs to you. Remember to breath........

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April 4th Day 13 Own your choices

Saturday, April 04, 2009


The choices you make today will determine the path that your life will take. When you sit back and look at the decisions you've made in your life, are you happy with the route you've paved? If you're not, make a change today. The next time you make a choice, ask yourself if this decision will lead you to the path you want to travel along. Set some new goals that will lead you to your dreams and then plan your course.

What an appropriate introspective for me. I have been doing well when I think it is MY CHOICE so how interesting.
Last night I again struggled. I am starting to have problems sticking to only 3 meals. I also know it is stress right now. This has been a very busy, hard, productive then non productive week. I hate to see dad without service. Have noticed mum is much more confused the past 2 or3 days , have not gotten the results of the CT scan yet. I am so tired...........
So tues I think it was I said I was starving, but did manage to not eat- just drink while watching BL. Last eve i was hungry and did eat a small handful of almonds. Iam glad that is all it was cos there is jelly beans in the cupboard, and still were some cookies. But didnt get into it, got my book, my tea, read about 3 pages and fell asleep in the chair!
So today is an S day, but I am making the choice to have 5 black jelly beans that dh has saved as i love them and he doesnt. We have friends coming over for lunch, I have made soup and will make biscuits - if we have any left over I will take them to dad or dh will have them when he needs something with his pills.
On the good front! Dh has made the choice to go back to the gym! LOL HAHA he had his physical yesterday, and has 2 more meds to add to the mess he takes all ready. one for cholesterol which had happened once before but he got it down with diet ( barely up) and I know he can do it again, but he said didnt before. Yes you did you just didnt stay with it. But he gets very upset as he says cos the dietician told him, he cant eat fresh fruit or veggies cos of his severe IBS. anyway he has limited food he can tolerate so take away his sweets........
So hoping that we both get fit and healthy now. I know I am doing it and hoping that me not eating it will help him to stop.
Gotta go cos have to get to mums and see how the night caregiver went over.
cya later today.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANNAS5 4/5/2009 11:47AM

    Your blog sounded so familiar. I can relate. My Mother who has had cancer for many yrs.got very ill in Nov.she ended up going home in Dec. with hospice. So that my Dad would not have to be alone with her. We (the kids) took turns staying nights.It was exhausting but I'm afraid I wasn't as strong as you. It was Dec. and neighbors brought lots of food. She passed away Dec. 19th. It was an emotional draining holiday season. Jan began a new year and with it hope for a better year. I joined Spark people in Jan. and have been making slow steady progress. Both to lose weight and become healthier.
Just wanted to say hang in there. you've already shown your strength. You have to take care of YOU to. What you said about choices you make today is so true. Its what I tell my girls who are in there 20's although I don't think they really "get it yet"
Best of luck to you. If you need to vent a litlle I can totally understand. sometimes you need to talk or blog to someone besides those closest to you. You can vent to me anytime. I understand.

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VON_1962 4/4/2009 5:27PM

    Hey! Whoa slowdown! I just finished reading both of your blogs since I was not able to catch you online today. I am glad you are taking time out to go for a walk this afternoon. I am sure your dad is feeling a bit more comfortable knowing that there is care in the home for the night. Great job in getting hubby back to the gym. I know he can get his cholesterol back under control especially the way you cook and the fact that you are watching yourself more closely too with the No S diet! Good job on having only the almonds. I made oatmeal cookies the worst thing I could have done. I did great the first couple of days without them but, have come home from work for the past two days hungry and have had one cookie! At least they are oatmeal and not something worse you know how my men like the chocolate chips. Well, keep moving forward! ((hug))


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MOMMA_GRIZZ 4/4/2009 11:21AM

    Hope you can squeeze some ME time in there today....even if it's just going to the pool and floating on your back (just don't fall asleep in the water).

I use to suffer from terrible IBS and before I started my journey, my doc told me to eat more fibre and suggested I take Metamucil. I though he was crazy and didn't take his advice because at the time I thought couldn't eat fruit, veggies, bran without having an attack.....but now that I've increased my fibre I rarely have an attack. I seem to have an attack now if I eat something rich or high in fat or don't eat enough fibre. Of course, I had to introduce the fibre slowly and the first few weeks were kind of rough but I am amazed at how much better I feel and am truly amazed at what I can eat now.

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COSMIC_ENERGY 4/4/2009 9:43AM

    It sounds like you need respite for yourself in a big way. I hope you get some well deserved rest and time where you don't have to mentally be "on call". Is your weather better yet? We're getting sun in VA - try to get outside if you can! emoticon

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ZESTYLADY 4/4/2009 9:09AM

    Always something isn't it? Kudos for you in sticking it out when you would rather trash it up with junk food. Hope all goes well with your folks. I hate this whole end-of-life stuff! Take care of yourself.



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Back from dr.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Going for xray of my knee and shoulder. he wants to make sure I didnt crack the front of my knee cap and checking rotator cuff on shoulder. also I pulled or tore the tendons ligaments in back of my leg up and down. Says i have a very bruised or crracked rib but treatment is same for either. so have to get exray, physio, a perscription for nexium. which i dont want but will take for 2 wks. he wanted to give me an antiinflamatory but when i said have been having big issues with heartburn said rather treat that. i hate having stuff treated before ruling out other stuff but said i would do it till my apt with him on Nov 3.
so tomorrow busy day, exray, check if i have any $$ for physio left dont think so and get perscript filled and go to work with my note for no work till halloween........
cya
off to read a good book......
the writing diet write your self the right size. by julia cameron the same that wrote the artists way...
night

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CJROMB 10/30/2008 8:59AM

    So your knee turned out to be broken, right? How are things going now? Are you in a lot of pain? I'm so sorry that happened! :( Sux to be laid up. It's hard to absorb those setbacks, but you can do it!

Somehow I missed what actually HAPPENED. I bet it's in one of your previous blogs. I'm gonna go see.

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LUVMY3SONS85 10/27/2008 9:04PM

    I hope you feel better, Im sorry you wont be on the team but your health is much more importnant, take care and don't be a stranger/

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