HEALTHY4ME's Recent Blog Entries

April 6th Day 15 (expected but not good results on CT scan)

Monday, April 06, 2009

Well results of mums CT scan are back. the cancer has not gotten bigger in lung, nor did it spread to the outside of lung but has gone to the brain. That is sort of what I expected as her confusion is not any better, and yet is down on her pain meds. So now they are saying they can do radiation on it at least to not make it get bigger fast. Not sure what dad is thinking as I wasnt there long. I have extra supper tonight so will take it down to them before I leave for work.
I did go to the pool but didnt work too hard, mind on other things of course. Met dh at the gym upstairs after and I did one round on all the machines but only low wt as first time back since I broke my knee. So busy this morning, and now waiting for a friend to come over for abit, then I have to go to work.
Work will keep my mind busy as well as my hands and mouth. so far so good on the eating. Waiting lunch for my friend but hope she shows up soon.
Guess better go as not much more to say right now.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COSMIC_ENERGY 4/6/2009 2:42PM

    The decision to do radiation at this point is never an easy one. Whatever the choice made I hope you are at pace with it. My mom choose not to do it with her breast cancer which had spread to the spine. She had fairly good quality of life for how advanced the cancer was to the end managed with pain meds. Big hugs. emoticon

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TERRIEJO53 4/6/2009 2:14PM

    Sorry to hear the cancer has gone to your mum's brain. How old is your mum? My dad is 90 and we recently found out he has multiple myeloma, a treatable but incurable cancer of the plasma cell. He also has inoperable (due to his age) lesions on his spine. I'm not sure he is at all interested in going through radiation and chemo at this point. It's the lesions that are causing him pain that has to be managed with morphine patches ... why add the side effects of chemo and radiation to the mix at this point in his life? Still, I'm not ready to lose him and hope he will give it a try. It's hard to watch our parents suffer. I will pray for your mum, and all who love her, to get through this in the best way possible.

Comment edited on: 4/6/2009 2:16:20 PM

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JIBBIE49 4/6/2009 12:49PM

    Lung cancer spreads so easily to the brain. I'm sorry to hear she is dealing with that.
My Nathan went for his Chemotherapy this morning, but his White Blood Cell count was to low and he had to have a shot to stimulate his bone marrow, and he will have to go back tomorrow and get another one. Then wait until next Monday to do another round of his Chemo. emoticon

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MOMMA_GRIZZ 4/6/2009 12:38PM

    I'm very sorry to hear about your Mum's CT scan - it does explain a lot. Big Hugs to you. Remember to breath........

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April 4th Day 13 Own your choices

Saturday, April 04, 2009

The choices you make today will determine the path that your life will take. When you sit back and look at the decisions you've made in your life, are you happy with the route you've paved? If you're not, make a change today. The next time you make a choice, ask yourself if this decision will lead you to the path you want to travel along. Set some new goals that will lead you to your dreams and then plan your course.

What an appropriate introspective for me. I have been doing well when I think it is MY CHOICE so how interesting.
Last night I again struggled. I am starting to have problems sticking to only 3 meals. I also know it is stress right now. This has been a very busy, hard, productive then non productive week. I hate to see dad without service. Have noticed mum is much more confused the past 2 or3 days , have not gotten the results of the CT scan yet. I am so tired...........
So tues I think it was I said I was starving, but did manage to not eat- just drink while watching BL. Last eve i was hungry and did eat a small handful of almonds. Iam glad that is all it was cos there is jelly beans in the cupboard, and still were some cookies. But didnt get into it, got my book, my tea, read about 3 pages and fell asleep in the chair!
So today is an S day, but I am making the choice to have 5 black jelly beans that dh has saved as i love them and he doesnt. We have friends coming over for lunch, I have made soup and will make biscuits - if we have any left over I will take them to dad or dh will have them when he needs something with his pills.
On the good front! Dh has made the choice to go back to the gym! LOL HAHA he had his physical yesterday, and has 2 more meds to add to the mess he takes all ready. one for cholesterol which had happened once before but he got it down with diet ( barely up) and I know he can do it again, but he said didnt before. Yes you did you just didnt stay with it. But he gets very upset as he says cos the dietician told him, he cant eat fresh fruit or veggies cos of his severe IBS. anyway he has limited food he can tolerate so take away his sweets........
So hoping that we both get fit and healthy now. I know I am doing it and hoping that me not eating it will help him to stop.
Gotta go cos have to get to mums and see how the night caregiver went over.
cya later today.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANNAS5 4/5/2009 11:47AM

    Your blog sounded so familiar. I can relate. My Mother who has had cancer for many very ill in Nov.she ended up going home in Dec. with hospice. So that my Dad would not have to be alone with her. We (the kids) took turns staying nights.It was exhausting but I'm afraid I wasn't as strong as you. It was Dec. and neighbors brought lots of food. She passed away Dec. 19th. It was an emotional draining holiday season. Jan began a new year and with it hope for a better year. I joined Spark people in Jan. and have been making slow steady progress. Both to lose weight and become healthier.
Just wanted to say hang in there. you've already shown your strength. You have to take care of YOU to. What you said about choices you make today is so true. Its what I tell my girls who are in there 20's although I don't think they really "get it yet"
Best of luck to you. If you need to vent a litlle I can totally understand. sometimes you need to talk or blog to someone besides those closest to you. You can vent to me anytime. I understand.

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VON_1962 4/4/2009 5:27PM

    Hey! Whoa slowdown! I just finished reading both of your blogs since I was not able to catch you online today. I am glad you are taking time out to go for a walk this afternoon. I am sure your dad is feeling a bit more comfortable knowing that there is care in the home for the night. Great job in getting hubby back to the gym. I know he can get his cholesterol back under control especially the way you cook and the fact that you are watching yourself more closely too with the No S diet! Good job on having only the almonds. I made oatmeal cookies the worst thing I could have done. I did great the first couple of days without them but, have come home from work for the past two days hungry and have had one cookie! At least they are oatmeal and not something worse you know how my men like the chocolate chips. Well, keep moving forward! ((hug))

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MOMMA_GRIZZ 4/4/2009 11:21AM

    Hope you can squeeze some ME time in there today....even if it's just going to the pool and floating on your back (just don't fall asleep in the water).

I use to suffer from terrible IBS and before I started my journey, my doc told me to eat more fibre and suggested I take Metamucil. I though he was crazy and didn't take his advice because at the time I thought couldn't eat fruit, veggies, bran without having an attack.....but now that I've increased my fibre I rarely have an attack. I seem to have an attack now if I eat something rich or high in fat or don't eat enough fibre. Of course, I had to introduce the fibre slowly and the first few weeks were kind of rough but I am amazed at how much better I feel and am truly amazed at what I can eat now.

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COSMIC_ENERGY 4/4/2009 9:43AM

    It sounds like you need respite for yourself in a big way. I hope you get some well deserved rest and time where you don't have to mentally be "on call". Is your weather better yet? We're getting sun in VA - try to get outside if you can! emoticon

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ZESTYLADY 4/4/2009 9:09AM

    Always something isn't it? Kudos for you in sticking it out when you would rather trash it up with junk food. Hope all goes well with your folks. I hate this whole end-of-life stuff! Take care of yourself.

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Back from dr.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Going for xray of my knee and shoulder. he wants to make sure I didnt crack the front of my knee cap and checking rotator cuff on shoulder. also I pulled or tore the tendons ligaments in back of my leg up and down. Says i have a very bruised or crracked rib but treatment is same for either. so have to get exray, physio, a perscription for nexium. which i dont want but will take for 2 wks. he wanted to give me an antiinflamatory but when i said have been having big issues with heartburn said rather treat that. i hate having stuff treated before ruling out other stuff but said i would do it till my apt with him on Nov 3.
so tomorrow busy day, exray, check if i have any $$ for physio left dont think so and get perscript filled and go to work with my note for no work till halloween........
off to read a good book......
the writing diet write your self the right size. by julia cameron the same that wrote the artists way...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CJROMB 10/30/2008 8:59AM

    So your knee turned out to be broken, right? How are things going now? Are you in a lot of pain? I'm so sorry that happened! :( Sux to be laid up. It's hard to absorb those setbacks, but you can do it!

Somehow I missed what actually HAPPENED. I bet it's in one of your previous blogs. I'm gonna go see.

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LUVMY3SONS85 10/27/2008 9:04PM

    I hope you feel better, Im sorry you wont be on the team but your health is much more importnant, take care and don't be a stranger/

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March 29

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Well some beautiful out if it was Christmas morning, but we really didnt need snow today! LOl

Been thinking of my last blog, and having issues on how to write this as I feel I have said and thought this a hundred times. But am really trying to see it in a diff. light and more in tune with my true feelings.
How do I want my body to feel and look like. Well I want it to feel healthy - able to walk, run, stretch get up and down from the floor easily and move without pain. To have a glow to my skin and look bright, vivacious and "clean" - you know that clean look. ( lol not that I am not clean lol).I dont want to look muscular just have some definition to my biceps, triceps and get rid of the small blob at the back of my bra line. To lose my 2 rolls and firm up my abd. to have space between my thighs when I sit with them close. I want to look toned and sexy, be able to wear a nice dress sometime and when I have a top and pants on, not have rolls that you notice first. So as before healthy, toned and fit - sexy would come with that!
How do I want my life well that is too long for any blog. I am still feeling that there is a purpose missing in my life. I read a lot about that stuff and have some ideas but not sure. One has jumped at me but is very complex and not sure how to even start but one day I will and you guys will be first to know.
Otherwise life in general is better these days than has been in past. Living with an anxious, depressed spouse takes a lot out of you and your life changes. I am learning now to live my life even if he can't or won't. I have put many things on hold but now know that if I don't do some alone I will never do them. I love my hubby dearly and chose to stay and help him with his life. I am not negating him, he has done all that the drs and counc. physcologists and iatrists tell him. He is better but the anxiety is still large.
For my life, I would love to go on a retreat sometime.I have read Joan Andersons books " a walk on the beach" and that book so talked to me, her other 2 were good too. I would like to be able to build a cottage on our land in the woods and just go some days. I am good alone but also a people person. My hobbies are very solitary ones and love to read. At the same time, my work is very people oriented and many say I am a caregiver by nature. so guess that sort of gives me some balance. One thing I have found interesting is a few of my closer friends have said I am very strong and I havent seen it, till I looked at me with their eyes. it is usually said in respect to my husband and all the problems we have had in past few years. But that makes me feel good to think that I am strong a characteristic that i dont see in myself. neat.
I am not sure what to say for my life - so in short, happy, content and in balance is what I strive for. sure the mortgage and bills paid would be great, hey throw in a paid for trailer and a big enough truck to haul it. I will pay to go places if you pay all that. lol
so as many I want to be fit, toned, sexy, happy, content, in balance which in my mind is HEALTHY in mind, body and spirit.
I am a work in progress and hope to keep on getting better at it all.
Raise your water glass to HEALTH!!! thats what mum always said if you haven't got your health you dont have much.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HADYDADUBR 3/30/2008 4:15PM

    Cindy, we all need some time to ourselves so make sure you get some. Just take one day at a time and you will get to your goal. Mary :)

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ZESTYLADY 3/30/2008 11:32AM

    Realizing that you have to "save yourself" first is huge. I totally understand the need to have some quiet space and alone time to recharge. Your strength comes across in your writing as well. Peace on you and yours.

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March 22nd

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Well this is very reflective......... I have been reading the best year of your life by Debbie ford, Our councillor said she recommended it to someone else and I would find it interesting after telling her i like self help etc. I found at the library in town today life lessons for women 7 essential ingredients for a balanced life. by the chicken soup guys.... sooooo after a busy week at work, getting my cold back, still working out LOSING lbs. and just life I had a nice long soak with me my book and a bunch of candles. so I am reading this chicken soup book and a few of the stories are really talking to me. I read this one that says in essence stop and think about your life, slow down etc. reassess your priorities and think what you want out of life. Also had the quote by E Roosevelt The purpose of life , after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience. I then thought of what I have read many times, life isn't a dress rehearsal and live life it is the only one you have...
well I thought of my life and thought yea girl, you have to think about this ( but i have problems knowing what I really want)
anyway not to start digressing. I immediately after started thinking of my neighbours husband who HATES with a lot of passion his job of gee 20 + years. in fact we say he is depressed because of it. well i sobbed for him and though oh .... live your life. stopped and got out of the tub thinking then of my husband who is off work because of depression/anxiety. then i decided to come to speople to see if some of my fav blogs had any new entries. when sitting down, I saw a binder that I had started a afew months ago, i had started it to be an incentive to live healthy but in my mind it was to lose weight. I have on it a vellum saying "its all about me" I suddenly had a light bulb moment thinking I am not all about my weight and my life isn't either... and i am going to add diff things in my binder.
so doing maybe I will find what I am searching for as I feel something is missing but am never sure what.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CJROMB 3/23/2008 11:16PM

    It's interesting to me how clear my head has become now that I've started losing weight. It's because all the noise of "I have to lose weight, I have to lose weight" is gone. I'm just doing it.

I got a book for one of my employees called "The Field Guide to Happiness". You're saying you don't know what you want. She has the same issue. This is helping her get some clarity.

Thanx for sharing your reflections. I shared mine today, too, but they were in a TOTALLY different realm. :) I shared a conversation I had with my nasty grandma.

I've read other books by Debbie Ford. If you like her, try Cheryl Richardson. She's got a few that changed my life!

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ZESTYLADY 3/23/2008 8:16AM

    Hey Cindy! Don't you just love those "a-ha" moments when you realize none of this really has to do with weight? I am truly beginning to understand that living the life of my choice and dreams is the only way to live. I have spent an awful lot of time waiting for others to become happy so I could then be happy. I often felt like I was running a support group for the chronically unhappy ( I was leader of course because I have to run the world!). I'm glad the books are working for you. I love inspirational reading!

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LUVMYORKIES 3/22/2008 10:04PM

    Cindy, Funny that you wrote this!!! I have been feeling like this all day!!! I couldn't figure out what was wrong....I am feeling like all I do is read label's and count calories, etc. It is hard not to make it 'ALL ABOUT ME"!! lol I Will have to write down the name of this book you are talking about, and give it a try. I too, enjoy self help books, and this one sounds like a winner! Thank you, and I hope you have a wonderful Easter!!! Take care and God Bless you!

Hugs, Love, and Prayers,

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