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Totally soaked Tuesday

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Pouring rain here.......... but oh well that's okay. Supposed to be nice after today for a while. A good friends mum passed away last eve, I was lucky enough to meet her last year and have a nice chat and sit on her deck with her, a special lady is now a special angel.
Today we are going to go get new glasses. Then groceries and I hope a visit to Thomas. I want to get Annas calendar and copy what he did when cos now that she is talking about a new baby book, it is making me actually start his! LOL I find it harder cos I have no hard copy pics of him, only on puter. But do have the book and know that once I get started it will go well.
Also have to stop at library and return some books.
Last night I had to take 2 morphine to get to bed, and then had hubby rub my foot. He rubbed the inner part of my foot and it immediately went to pins and needles and then I got a pain and a sharp zap in my hip. Directly to my hip... so much tell dr that cos was really noticeable, touch there and wow. Yea I know I am all connected but bypassed all my leg anyway took a while but then slept till 4. did sleep till 7 then got up.
Well going to go get ready for a visit, a girl I went to school with, her daugther needs to interview someone as part of her RN class so I said sure interview me lol
okay hope you all have a great day, enjoy the raindrops if it is raining, pretty sure we won't melt and if it is sunny put on the sunscreen and enjoy.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COSMIC_ENERGY 7/13/2011 10:18PM

    Glad you got your glasses. Hope DH figures or the heater thingy.

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NEW-CAZ 7/12/2011 3:24PM

    It'll be interesting to hear what your doc makes of the pins and needles Cinders.
Nice of you to offer to be interviewed..passing on some knowledge, great.

Hope the sun comes out for you emoticon

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COSMIC_ENERGY 7/12/2011 11:07AM

    When do you see doc again? Hope you have a good day. Doing dinner with friends tonight - cooking in.

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Monday, July 11, 2011

Yea yea I know it doesn't rhyme but my son and dil have found out that they are having a girl, Eva Maria and she was very photogenic. She showed her face, sucked her thumb, moved around. They looked for Thomas a month later and he was so squished in there, you couldn't see much, but so far so good. Anna I think was so shocked. Chris said ha..... I said that when you took the preg. test! LOL
So today we watched that on video as it was being done. Then I went to physio and then we went to dd for hubby to help with some stuff. Ate supper there, all healthy.
Down 2.5 lbs so very pleased. Has to be the better eating cos not moving much. After physio today, my back is so sore, and thigh and foot. I can't go until I get ahold of my insurance to fax me a paper so hubbys insurance can kick in. it will get done.
Anyway my foot is going to sleep, and then my hip is now sore, so going to walk aaround the house for a bit. talk to you all later. hugs all

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REDSHOES2011 7/12/2011 3:14AM

    emoticon emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 7/12/2011 3:01AM

Pleased for you that you ditched 2.5 pounds.
Take care of that hip emoticon

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COSMIC_ENERGY 7/11/2011 7:39PM

    A girl emoticon Yay! Sorry about the charley horses-yuck-especially when you're moving in a hurry.

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OH Emotions

Monday, July 04, 2011

Well had a mini meltdown yesterday, tears, sad, frustration. Dh took it all in stride and we had a good talk. Don't think it really solved anything but did give us some options and some new thoughts.
Not sure what is up with me, but am feeling almost blue again today. I have only been up an hr, and could easily cry again. Nothing specific that either of us did or said, who knows. But am doing better even as I write. I will have a good day today. No tears and what ifs and I just want to know... lol doesn't tell me what if and what I want to know anyway.

Yesterday was my best day yet with less pain, and much less pins and needles and cramping. Is it the meds? only thing I have done differently. Mid -night last night, I woke screaming in pain +++++ pain it was my R knee ( non operated on ) which did like a week ago in the night. Feels as if someone is twisting my leg and knee stays there. I screamed hubby came and I wasn't able to move my leg then slowly could move leg but not knee. We put ice on it, it swelled and then after 30 mins or so I started falling asleep. Every time I moved even slightly I would wake but guess I slept okay woke at 7:30, late for me. So now, do I call back the specialist to make him aware and see what he says about that knee? argh
I am finding more small pains sthat I presume are arthritis, ie my thumb used to hurt, my shoulder, and my back. thinking that the arthritis meds may be keeping that at bay more, although they hurt periodically.

We go home this morning, was tomorrow am, but it is going to rain and we figured get home and then if dd needs hubby be good as she is off today. Supposed to get her new roof put on today, so wishing the heat and sun would have stayed one more day. maybe it will only drizzle. Can't complain about the weather lately was a super extra long weekend for us.

I saw on a new friends page a comment that made me think again......oh oh thinking that can often cause problems for me, ( ie the crying etc earlier! LOL)

Goes well with the comment : she turned her can'ts into cans and her dreams into plans

So I often think is that is what is wrong? I just choose not to.. mainly cos I am afraid. but then as dr phil. says "hows it working for you! " well this isn't working for me. But yet still worry that I will hurt myself worse. My bil says well you will only be off work longer get more summer off. well thanks sure, but sick adn tired of hurting. I have to try harder, get my head on better, whatever it takes just seems as if I don't know what it takes anymore. So often I feel beaten and not sure if things will change and I know that is cos I get hurt so often just as I start to feel better. So today will help get the stuff ready to take home, get home and do a load of laundry from trailer and go see dd. Then later go see Thomas. July 12 his mum finds out if he will have a brother or sister. Not sure he is going to like either right now LOL HA typical 2 year old by then, well almost lol

Sister in law that has done so well stopped at the trailer last eve with her hubby, and she said she had no clue what she would do with me, cos she feels she isn't trained enough to help me when I have so much pain. That's fine for now as she is never home and super busy. I will get to her when I get a bit better, and that is what is going to happen. I WILL GET BETTER and less pain.

Well there you are back in the loop about my trial with or without my pills and my pain stuff. I will continue for the week and then probably go back on and see what happens. Then I can tell the dr, at end month my observations.

So off to have my healthy breakfast and cup of green tea. Hope you all have a great day and enjoy the holiday my US friends. Everyone make good choices!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    emoticon Try to take it easy on yourself while you determine if it is the meds causing the problems.

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TEMPEST272002 7/4/2011 1:45PM

    Hugs to you. Sometimes tears make our guys really pay attention - which may be the silver lining. Had some tears with my guy yesterday too, but we worked it out quick.

Chronic pain can lower seratonin & trigger clinical depression. Just what you need, right? So here's a good article on how to raise your serotonin levels naturally.

And this one for foods that will raise your seratonin levels:

>Walnuts are supposed to be especially good.

I know it's hard for you right now, but you're doing the right thing by really investigating what's happening to your body & following all avenues to improve your health.

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COSMIC_ENERGY 7/4/2011 11:43AM

    Have you tried not resisting the tears? Just allow them, say it is OK if I feel sad right now. Oh there are those tears again. Give yourself a few min. and then go on.

Pain wears you down and does tend to cause depression or aggrevate it. Yes! tell your doc about the sharp pains and what you're trying with the meds. emoticon

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CALIFSHEWOLF 7/4/2011 11:41AM

    OK, I should have read this blog before I commented on your page, but rather than copy and paste it, go read it and come back...I'll wait.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

OK, you back? At least four times in your blog you said "I think....", but everything you are thinking about revolves around your pain. I'm in pain...have been cutting back on all meds, but right now I am thinking about you, and about typing this reply, and the pain has moved further back in my thoughts.

I assume you have already gotten another opinion from another doctor about the meds you are taking and that you have seen a pain management doctor. I don't know how it works in Canada, but I took those steps to be sure I had all my ducks in a row. I have now taken a very proactive approach to my pain management which includes less meds, yoga, doing walking and exercise dvds, and keeping my mind busy (refer to my note on your page). It's not an easy's hard...really hard, but life is so much harder when my main focus is my pain.

I'm sending you virtual hugs...I can tell you are having a rough time.
emoticon emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 7/4/2011 11:40AM

    B4 you start back at fitness get yourself well Cinders. I know you were thinking of yoga.
Maybe the tears are frustration? You've had a lot to contend with recently,.

As Joy says one step at a time emoticon

Thanks for the goodie hun, nice of you to think of me emoticon

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JOYINKY 7/4/2011 11:02AM

    One step at a time Cindy. Be well.

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Thoughtful Thursday

Thursday, June 30, 2011

First off want to say it would be my mums birthday today. I miss her a lot and wish she was here to see Thomas and Lisas wedding last year and both my kids new houses. I just know she is watching us all and giving us knudges and love when needed.

I went for my barium swallow and it wasn't so bad, the worst part was the can you move oveer this way. OH wow my hip hurt trying to move while laying partially tilted. Now we are getting ready for the trailer and won't get internet till friday as you pay fri to fri.
Oh yea........ I fell coming into dd house and slid on the floor. Landed halfway in the doorway, so fell on my "good" hip and so called good knee which is swollen 1.5 inches bigger than other and must have hit the back of my "bad" knee ( which is the repaired one LOL) as have a huge bruise behind the knee. Geesh leave it to me, but sure scared lisa nd mike.
well better go get the food ready to take. so far all fruits and veggies are ready! just to get rest of the stuff ready. I don't have any chips, cookies etc. so I will be safe. lol
have a great long weekend to all. Happy Canada day tomorrow!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOYINKY 6/30/2011 3:27PM

    I sure hope you haven't damaged anything in the fall! So dangerous to fall, especially at our ages. I hope you have a wonderful, healthy, relaxing weekend! Hugs, Joy

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NEW-CAZ 6/30/2011 12:22PM

    Hi Cinders, what a lovely tribute to you mum. I know you miss her terribly, but she's always in your heart and mind so never far away.
OMG you are in the war today!!! Hope you're okay?!

No wonder Will and Kate are landing in Canada tonight, I clear forgot it was Canada day 2moro!

Hope the rest of your day is more pleasurable hun emoticon

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Food is killing this person..

Friday, June 24, 2011

I have a friend on another site that wrote this, I asked could I re post it here as it is quite the story. Scary but sure shows us what you can do if you have to. So since obesity is a killer too then does give you something to think about....

I have a friend who has lost a ton of weight and never, ever could before this last year and a half. I thought she just got really motivated or had surgery but in talking to her yesterday, I was amazed at what she said.

She said she was on some medication that caused her to have a rare disorder where she is allergic to so many foods now as a result. Allergic as in she swells and is unable to breathe if she eats even one of them.

Unfortunately, she loved to eat and eat really sweet, salty, junk foods... lots of processed stuff and was a great baker, so she always had decadent stuff at her house and ate it on a daily basis.

Then she got really sick and by the time they found out what was wrong, it was progressed to the point that to take one bite of some of these things would mean she would die before they could get meds in her to counteract the swelling. There was always the possibility they could get her to the ER in time, but probably not.

Her big excuse all along was that she was addicted to food to the point that she was incapable of change, so after years and years of dieting, she just quit and made the decision to live the rest of her life fat and happy and to stop the yo yo cycle. She actually never YO'd very much because she never lost much... she never was very successful through all those years at losing even 10-15 pounds before she went back to bingeing.

So how did she lost 180 pounds? She has to eat very clean... nothing processed, no sugar or sugar substitutes even, only fresh fruits and veggies, no preservatives, only certain meats that are lower fat and have to be baked or roasted or grilled, no soda pop even diet, so she drinks a ton of water. She cannot overload her stomach so she eats smaller meals more often during the day.

She said that when they told her how she had to eat and live she was sure she would be dead very soon because she felt like a victim of this addiction and could not change.

But she said she learned how much deception she was living in when she sat down that first day and had to choose to live or to die based on what she put in her mouth. She said she realized pretty quick she wasn't a victim and absolutely had the ability to say no to all the things she craved. She said she was so angry she wanted to ram her fist through a wall she wanted the food so much.

But she still had the ability to say no. And she did. But it took this drastic situation to get her to see that she could have done this all along and lived totally different quality of life. She said all those years she had lived this very selfish, self-destructive life as a victim... saying that the food was winning the battle and that she just wasn't strong enough to fight it.... as IF the food was making the choices for her. She said the truth was that SHE was completely in control all the time and was making the choice she wanted to make and was never a victim. She wanted to eat, no matter what the consequences were, MORE than she wanted to get healthy and have a better life. Her CHOICE was proof of that. She also said she never thought of how her eating was affecting all those people who loved her because through all the years they had to put up with her attitude when she was bingeing.

She said she never understood why she was so angry and pissed off and frustrated if she was supposedly getting what she wanted when she wanted it... FOOD.

So now she has eaten a day at a time, what will keep her alive and is even grateful NOW for the illness that put her in a position to have to grow up and make an adult decision about what to put in her body, instead of living like a spoiled little kid... doing what she wanted to do even though it was taking her life away from her in a myriad of ways.

Our conversation really affected me because I feel like at times that I can't and don't have what it takes to make a right choice where food is concerned and feel weak... but I am not at any point, even my weakest, UNable to say no. I may choose to say no, but I always have the ability. I mean, if I knew the next bite of something I want would kill me, I don't care HOW much I craved it, I would say no. So I have that same ability right now. Today. And all through the day today.

Anyway, thought I'd share this with you guys. I did not do as good a job I'm sure, telling you about what she shared, as she did telling me yesterday.

We are not victims. The food cannot control or master us. We are able to make good choices. I'm hoping we all do today. Anyway, something to think about...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EGR2BEME 6/25/2011 7:17AM

    So much to think about...and as the background of your Spark page says, "attitude changes everything".

Thanks for the inspirational, and thought provoking blog!

Ellen emoticon

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HEALTHY4ME 6/25/2011 6:23AM

    Hey guys I didn't meet her, it a friend of a person I know on another site. I just read this blog and asked could I post it here. But no matter how I got the info I trust the source and what an amazing lady.

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NEW-CAZ 6/25/2011 3:01AM

    What am amazing lady turning herself around.
We all have it in us to change, but need the inner motivation and self belief.
What an inspirarational story, and told so well Cinders. Thank you!
Just goes to show if you keep you do, you'll get there emoticon

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COSMIC_ENERGY 6/24/2011 9:00PM

    This is true. We can change. We have to have the internal motivation. Not just "in my head" I want to do it. What is the pain/consequence of staying like we are? What are the possiblities? When I started Eat to Live, I didn't think I could give up salt #1 more less meat. Sugar, no problem. But I did want off cholesteral meds and several other meds I was on. I've read Dean Ornish and Dr. Neal Barnard on eating meatless for heart health but never got this invested.

and if you're not ready to go hard core yet...

There are soooo many good sites like these. What I love about the 6 week plan is that there's no counting really, just good fresh or cooked vegs, fruits, some soy and beans for protien/no sugar, oil or salt and for weight loss only one whole grain starch and one serving of nuts (or none). No processed foods or caffine (ok I fudged on that one, but did cut way back).

You are a great listener and you always glean something new to apply. The trick is that you keep trying. I love that about you.

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TEMPEST272002 6/24/2011 7:58PM

    That's an incredible story. How lucky are you to have been able to talk to her about the changes she's made and how she came to those conclusions. Through your writing, I can see you really listened and took in what she had to say. Your turn next! I can't wait to read your first amazed-myself blog!

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