Thursday, September 17, 2009
A very good Spark friend wrote a very profund to me blog today and it has struck a cord in me in many ways. If you want to read hers first its here at that link.
First off parent wise- my mother as you know passed away from lung cancer in june after smoking since she was 21 ( 82 when she died). She could have chosen differently but probably at the time thought she was invincible. Dad still has chosen the same path and is now facing a CT scan to find out about the same dreaded disease. He has done very similar in his life as CJs dad so this hit a nerve. Dad drank until 20 years ago, but still does some. he had a triple bypass which they said if he did what was told of him, he would have 8 years maybe 5. so has beaten their odds a lot as that was in 1990! He seemed to be doing fairly well with mums death last month but now with this new dilema he is not doing as well with anything. Everything he has or does is "thats what happened to your mother". Also has started saying no one visits which I sadly say is a bit true. He was never a visiter, stayed in his room when I would go visit and now expect us to think he has changed and should visit. Digressing here....
So as CJ has said we can watch our parents and see ourselves. We can learn from them, or we can do the same as we learnt previous from them. Perhaps it is time for me to start that learning curve all over again. I need to lose weight. Period. Not cos there is a new baby coming into our family, not cos my dd is getting married, not for vanity, not to be sexy. Cos I chose to live. I am not severly overweight, but I do have health issues and so far they are not life threatening.
I have said since I turned 25 that I was going to lose weight. I am now nearly 53. How much time do I have? Am I going to be like both my parents and turn the deaf ear and think OH I have all the time in the world? I am past my half way point so when do I make the right CHOICE? Ultimately it is all up to our choices and what we CHOSE to do. I have blogged on this before and done well for a time.
Well I need to do well for a lifetime, to help me as much as I can have a longer, healthier, happier life. That will in its turn, will hopefully show my children and future grandchildren that we can make a difference if we chose to do so.
I watched biggest loser yesterday morning, ( thanked dh for taping while I was at work) As always I know it is a reality show, but as many it hits a cord in me. I also thought yea as usual they are all doing it for the family etc. but one lady there has as she said no real reason to get up in the am, except for her. Her husband and both children died in car accident. I thought OMG if that happened to me what would I do, immediately thought throw in the towel, nothing to live for etc. I was so humbled by her and thought if she can do this I certainly can lose 40 -50 lbs. I always say I so want to do this but how badly do I want to do this. There is a saying on some blogs that escapes me, but it's essence is if you want to really do it then you have to chose to do it. anyway thanks to CJ I again chose to do it. And am printing out her blog and will someday when I get in that trailer of ours and go south, thank her in person. and to add a bit of levity to the situation, she wants to hug my dog!
HUGS CJ and thanks so much.