Thanks CJ I needed your blog.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

A very good Spark friend wrote a very profund to me blog today and it has struck a cord in me in many ways. If you want to read hers first its here at that link.

http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public
_journal.asp?id=CJROMB

First off parent wise- my mother as you know passed away from lung cancer in june after smoking since she was 21 ( 82 when she died). She could have chosen differently but probably at the time thought she was invincible. Dad still has chosen the same path and is now facing a CT scan to find out about the same dreaded disease. He has done very similar in his life as CJs dad so this hit a nerve. Dad drank until 20 years ago, but still does some. he had a triple bypass which they said if he did what was told of him, he would have 8 years maybe 5. so has beaten their odds a lot as that was in 1990! He seemed to be doing fairly well with mums death last month but now with this new dilema he is not doing as well with anything. Everything he has or does is "thats what happened to your mother". Also has started saying no one visits which I sadly say is a bit true. He was never a visiter, stayed in his room when I would go visit and now expect us to think he has changed and should visit. Digressing here....
So as CJ has said we can watch our parents and see ourselves. We can learn from them, or we can do the same as we learnt previous from them. Perhaps it is time for me to start that learning curve all over again. I need to lose weight. Period. Not cos there is a new baby coming into our family, not cos my dd is getting married, not for vanity, not to be sexy. Cos I chose to live. I am not severly overweight, but I do have health issues and so far they are not life threatening.
I have said since I turned 25 that I was going to lose weight. I am now nearly 53. How much time do I have? Am I going to be like both my parents and turn the deaf ear and think OH I have all the time in the world? I am past my half way point so when do I make the right CHOICE? Ultimately it is all up to our choices and what we CHOSE to do. I have blogged on this before and done well for a time.
Well I need to do well for a lifetime, to help me as much as I can have a longer, healthier, happier life. That will in its turn, will hopefully show my children and future grandchildren that we can make a difference if we chose to do so.

I watched biggest loser yesterday morning, ( thanked dh for taping while I was at work) As always I know it is a reality show, but as many it hits a cord in me. I also thought yea as usual they are all doing it for the family etc. but one lady there has as she said no real reason to get up in the am, except for her. Her husband and both children died in car accident. I thought OMG if that happened to me what would I do, immediately thought throw in the towel, nothing to live for etc. I was so humbled by her and thought if she can do this I certainly can lose 40 -50 lbs. I always say I so want to do this but how badly do I want to do this. There is a saying on some blogs that escapes me, but it's essence is if you want to really do it then you have to chose to do it. anyway thanks to CJ I again chose to do it. And am printing out her blog and will someday when I get in that trailer of ours and go south, thank her in person. and to add a bit of levity to the situation, she wants to hug my dog!
HUGS CJ and thanks so much.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CJROMB 9/20/2009 8:20PM

I'm with Cassioepia. Choose you, darlin'. You're special, you're worth it. You deserve the best you can give yourself. I saw on your status that you're bummed out right now. You can lean on me. Is there something I can do, tell you, share? Is there some sassy comment, silly suggestion or foolish idea I can cook up that might make you smile? Maybe you and your fuzzy buddy just need some snuggle time. And between now and when you're feeling happier, is there just one small thing you can do that will make you smile or make you feel like you're taking even the smallest step in a direction that you want to go? Come tell me what it is! Report Inappropriate Comment

CASSIOEPIA 9/17/2009 1:38PM

I was in CJ's blog, and saw that you were going to blog on it yourself, so came to read yours too. I agree with you that every day we make a choice. I hope you choose "You" today. I have already made a bad nutrition choice this morning, but after reading your blog, I will be reminded to choose "Me" for the rest of the day. Thank you. Report Inappropriate Comment

UROPA40 9/17/2009 12:13PM

Have joined the local running club and am doing a 4 season multi-sport race series. At age 51 thought I was too old to be a runner and have now been running for a year and 1/2. I have met some older people including a 82 year old man who beat me soundly in the bike race. This is how I want to age and feel. Suzy Report Inappropriate Comment

CAZ_NR_HEATHROW 9/17/2009 10:39AM

Great blog Cinders and i read CJs blog. I think it's all been said- I am on this journey for me, health is important to me as I lost my mother to a heart attach bought on by smoking (even after a mitre valve operation to extend her life was not deemed a wake up call for her) and my dad to a brain tumor...also smoking related. They were both 62! 62! No age at all. I gave up smoking at 21 and have never really enjoyed booze so no problems there. But I also saw in my mum that she was quiting on life and became a hermit towards the end of her life. I have learnt from them both that life is for living and I want to live a long and healthy life. I pray that all is well with your dad and you get to enjoy each other's company for many years to come and that you continue on your journey to get fit and slim for YOU. YOU are important Luv Caz Report Inappropriate Comment

Monday has to be better than sunday! LOL

Monday, September 14, 2009

Well so far my Monday has been better than Sunday but I dont go to work for an hr and half. Yesterday, went to work to learn we were 3 people short, so had to get everyone up alone. I did it at my pace and said oh well. Then the girl that came in wasnt familiar with my household so again oh well.
Start eves at 3. For 3 wks so easier workload in some respects. I have to go get my shower soon.
My best friend was in town for an apt. but she got a late start so we didnt have much time together but oh well. She gave me a new mug, says miss you on the inside lip, outside has a sort of stick lady. cute. Then we went to atlantic fabrics and she got material for her aprons. She makes aprons for the craft sale that she runs during xmas. I will be working that weekend so guess wont be going. she wasnt impressed to hear that.
Well still not doing great with my eating. and also have had bad pains in belly. My eating isnt that bad, think I still have a bug from before every now and then as the residents do too.
Okay enough rambling gotta go get ready for work.
cya
HUGS

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMMA_GRIZZ 9/14/2009 7:06PM

I hope you had a good Monday at work. You're right, you can only do what you can do :) Have a good rest when you get home. Report Inappropriate Comment

CAZ_NR_HEATHROW 9/14/2009 4:16PM

Thank heavens you get it easier for a while Cinders. Take care and enjoy your Monday Luv Caz x Report Inappropriate Comment

Sat. working weekend

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Well am working this weekend but will be home in time to go to the health fair and watch the fireworks from my deck. The small "community" that I live in amoungst the city, has their day today and has celebrations that are held in the field behind us.
I didnt acomplish near what I wanted but got two housework things done, laundry and vacumn. Did go for massage and felt great. Also called to book apt with the alternative physio but got the machine. Thats okay call me back monday. No hurry. I had dad and ds and dil for supper which turned out great. Had a good visit although must say dad isnt as himself. I know he is worrying about the ct scan and diagnosis. He seems to find anything wrwong with himself and say that was what your mother was like. Oh well will deal with that as it comes.
better cut this short as it is 6:30 and I have to leave for work. Hope you all have a great Sat. and I am planning to. I will wear my orthotics all day at work if able and also try to remember to stand tall.
cya
HUGS

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WHITE-LOTUS 9/12/2009 1:19PM

Have a good weekend. I got out with some friends last night. Had bad food-chicken wings and pizza, but getting back on the horse today. Report Inappropriate Comment

MOMMA_GRIZZ 9/12/2009 9:30AM

Sounds like you had a fantastic Friday! Yeah You! Hope you have a great Saturday too. :) Report Inappropriate Comment

CAZ_NR_HEATHROW 9/12/2009 7:37AM

Hey Cinders pub was a blast night! Hope your back is still okay today, enjoy the fireworks Luv Caz x Report Inappropriate Comment

A day off well sort of.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Sure it is a day off of work, but boy do I have lots to do. First off is vacumm this living room carpet and couch. Blast dh for allowing the dog to learn to get on the couch a few years back. argh...
Laundry is done, but clean up bathrooms. Then kitchen. Make supper which isnt bad as did some overnight in crockpot. Having roast in crockpot with dad and ds and wife to visit for supper.
I also have to hunt down my sheet of paper on which is a list of prices for massages at diff places in town. Book one FINALLY. Also book an apt with the physiotherapist. He is an alternative guy and does strange but it works stuff. I went a few years ago, and my best friend said okaaaaay........! well lo and behold she and her sister went and she agreed a very calming but works guy. So I too must get back into caring about me. Funny that before she met me she never did anything like this, she exxercised but never anything as "strange" as a massage. well she is getting massage monthly and also now goes to brian. Me who is working full time in a hard for your body job and swore I was going to go has yet to even make an apt. SO time for me again. and oh yea going to pop in and get my eyebrows waxed somewhere today.
LOL dh will have a what are you doing ! but doesnt really care either way.
So busy day but will get stuff I want accomplished. Even may go and get some paint chips for the spare room. I also want to do those kitchen cupboards.
LOL YEA YEA and after today off i work 6 in row till next day off. When pray tell will I find time to do this painting! lol rest my weary body rest.
cya have a super day everyone cos I plan to! busy but productive!
HUGS

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GFNOMAD 9/11/2009 9:23PM

That's a full day you scheduled! I'm glad you are taking time for something for yourself. Report Inappropriate Comment

CAZ_NR_HEATHROW 9/11/2009 3:13PM

Hi ya Cinders, great that you're pampering yourself. After all the running you do for everyone else at home and at work, you so deserve some "me time" babe. I hope you enjoy your massage and that it does your back some good into the bargain. Hey, how's the cold now? Luv Caz xx Report Inappropriate Comment

MOMMA_GRIZZ 9/11/2009 10:36AM

I love having productive days - they feel great! Tiring but great! I hope you get all you wanted done and have fun too! :) Report Inappropriate Comment

Okay what is up with me...

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Nothing new, but why once I lose wt for a week or two do I allow myself to backslide? This happens constantly - I rarely get more than 5 lbs off. So today I will walk after work or supper whichever. I will get more protien in to keep me satisfied and I must get to work at that xmas stocking. Just have to put the xstitch or knitting where I see it and think of it.
I am eating between meals and thats what it is. The 2-3 wks that I did well, I ate good food and not between. My NO S way.
Okay I know what it is and I know why, tired when I get home from day shift and I eat. So today when I get home, I will remember the high and the energy you get from moving. I think part of that problem is I move at such a pace all day and just am worn out. My back is starting to ache all the time, not a good thing as that precludes a back fallout.
I stretched on the ball this am when I got up and did that last eve before I went to bed.
So today I promise myself I will stretch on the ball when I get home, then exercise either walk or bike after that or after supper. Thinking right after cos once i finish supper............. easy to wimp out.
Allright the number will go down next week. I want to see 170 before I start saying I am fine with the number cos I am toning. who knows what my number my body wants so will also go with how my clothes fit etc.
So here we go again. I have to get back to the basics of HAAHAHA three weeks ago.
I know what to do, how to do it so JUST DO IT!!!
Cya gotta scoot for work.
HUGS

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WHITE-LOTUS 9/9/2009 9:32PM

I've had 3 pretty clean days. No junk food - 1 c. coffee a day not 2 plus a qt. or more of tea - and no artificial sweetener. I so seem to have less inflammation or is it my imagination? I want to eat sooo bad at night. Not sure how long I can hold out. Report Inappropriate Comment

GFNOMAD 9/9/2009 1:10PM

I feel as though you have written this for me. I yoyo around the same 5 lbs. Even when I have gone travelling and lost 10 lbs, my weight creeps back up to the higher level. It's like it wants to stay there. After visiting far away friends, they said their habit is to have a yogurt after dinner instead of dessert. Because I was their guest, I did the same. I've now done it for 2 night since returning home and have not snacked in the evening which is my downfall. Like you I need to up my protein in the morning so I am not hungry gbefore noon. That 10 lbs less puts me into the high end of what my BMI should be. I'm subscribing to your blog to see how you do and to keep me on track. Thanks for posting! Report Inappropriate Comment

MOMMA_GRIZZ 9/9/2009 10:37AM

It's so easy to backslide but kudos to you for figuring out why and taking care of business. Going back to basics is a good thing - it reminds of what we should be doing. Enjoy your walk and remember the energy that movement gives you (I like that, I'm going to remember to tell myself that today). Take care. Report Inappropriate Comment

CAZ_NR_HEATHROW 9/9/2009 7:49AM

HI Cinders I so recognise the "sabatoging" thing. If you're on the go all day and now exercising added it maybe 5 smaller more satisfying meals are the way to go or munch on a banana or something similar if you really do need food between meals, Great stratagies for getting exercise in hun. Now you're promised yourself you'll do it, do it! Think of that wedding.....it's getting closer by the week LOL. Luv ya Caz x Report Inappropriate Comment