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Thoughtful Thursday

Thursday, June 30, 2011

First off want to say it would be my mums birthday today. I miss her a lot and wish she was here to see Thomas and Lisas wedding last year and both my kids new houses. I just know she is watching us all and giving us knudges and love when needed.


I went for my barium swallow and it wasn't so bad, the worst part was the can you move oveer this way. OH wow my hip hurt trying to move while laying partially tilted. Now we are getting ready for the trailer and won't get internet till friday as you pay fri to fri.
Oh yea........ I fell coming into dd house and slid on the floor. Landed halfway in the doorway, so fell on my "good" hip and so called good knee which is swollen 1.5 inches bigger than other and must have hit the back of my "bad" knee ( which is the repaired one LOL) as have a huge bruise behind the knee. Geesh leave it to me, but sure scared lisa nd mike.
well better go get the food ready to take. so far all fruits and veggies are ready! just to get rest of the stuff ready. I don't have any chips, cookies etc. so I will be safe. lol
have a great long weekend to all. Happy Canada day tomorrow!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOYINKY 6/30/2011 3:27PM

    I sure hope you haven't damaged anything in the fall! So dangerous to fall, especially at our ages. I hope you have a wonderful, healthy, relaxing weekend! Hugs, Joy

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NEW-CAZ 6/30/2011 12:22PM

    Hi Cinders, what a lovely tribute to you mum. I know you miss her terribly, but she's always in your heart and mind so never far away.
OMG you are in the war today!!! Hope you're okay?!

No wonder Will and Kate are landing in Canada tonight, I clear forgot it was Canada day 2moro!

Hope the rest of your day is more pleasurable hun emoticon

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Food is killing this person..

Friday, June 24, 2011

I have a friend on another site that wrote this, I asked could I re post it here as it is quite the story. Scary but sure shows us what you can do if you have to. So since obesity is a killer too then does give you something to think about....

I have a friend who has lost a ton of weight and never, ever could before this last year and a half. I thought she just got really motivated or had surgery but in talking to her yesterday, I was amazed at what she said.

She said she was on some medication that caused her to have a rare disorder where she is allergic to so many foods now as a result. Allergic as in she swells and is unable to breathe if she eats even one of them.

Unfortunately, she loved to eat and eat really sweet, salty, junk foods... lots of processed stuff and was a great baker, so she always had decadent stuff at her house and ate it on a daily basis.

Then she got really sick and by the time they found out what was wrong, it was progressed to the point that to take one bite of some of these things would mean she would die before they could get meds in her to counteract the swelling. There was always the possibility they could get her to the ER in time, but probably not.

Her big excuse all along was that she was addicted to food to the point that she was incapable of change, so after years and years of dieting, she just quit and made the decision to live the rest of her life fat and happy and to stop the yo yo cycle. She actually never YO'd very much because she never lost much... she never was very successful through all those years at losing even 10-15 pounds before she went back to bingeing.

So how did she lost 180 pounds? She has to eat very clean... nothing processed, no sugar or sugar substitutes even, only fresh fruits and veggies, no preservatives, only certain meats that are lower fat and have to be baked or roasted or grilled, no soda pop even diet, so she drinks a ton of water. She cannot overload her stomach so she eats smaller meals more often during the day.

She said that when they told her how she had to eat and live she was sure she would be dead very soon because she felt like a victim of this addiction and could not change.

But she said she learned how much deception she was living in when she sat down that first day and had to choose to live or to die based on what she put in her mouth. She said she realized pretty quick she wasn't a victim and absolutely had the ability to say no to all the things she craved. She said she was so angry she wanted to ram her fist through a wall she wanted the food so much.

But she still had the ability to say no. And she did. But it took this drastic situation to get her to see that she could have done this all along and lived totally different quality of life. She said all those years she had lived this very selfish, self-destructive life as a victim... saying that the food was winning the battle and that she just wasn't strong enough to fight it.... as IF the food was making the choices for her. She said the truth was that SHE was completely in control all the time and was making the choice she wanted to make and was never a victim. She wanted to eat, no matter what the consequences were, MORE than she wanted to get healthy and have a better life. Her CHOICE was proof of that. She also said she never thought of how her eating was affecting all those people who loved her because through all the years they had to put up with her attitude when she was bingeing.

She said she never understood why she was so angry and pissed off and frustrated if she was supposedly getting what she wanted when she wanted it... FOOD.

So now she has eaten a day at a time, what will keep her alive and is even grateful NOW for the illness that put her in a position to have to grow up and make an adult decision about what to put in her body, instead of living like a spoiled little kid... doing what she wanted to do even though it was taking her life away from her in a myriad of ways.

Our conversation really affected me because I feel like at times that I can't and don't have what it takes to make a right choice where food is concerned and feel weak... but I am not at any point, even my weakest, UNable to say no. I may choose to say no, but I always have the ability. I mean, if I knew the next bite of something I want would kill me, I don't care HOW much I craved it, I would say no. So I have that same ability right now. Today. And all through the day today.

Anyway, thought I'd share this with you guys. I did not do as good a job I'm sure, telling you about what she shared, as she did telling me yesterday.

We are not victims. The food cannot control or master us. We are able to make good choices. I'm hoping we all do today. Anyway, something to think about...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EGR2BEME 6/25/2011 7:17AM

    So much to think about...and as the background of your Spark page says, "attitude changes everything".

Thanks for the inspirational, and thought provoking blog!

Ellen emoticon

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HEALTHY4ME 6/25/2011 6:23AM

    Hey guys I didn't meet her, it a friend of a person I know on another site. I just read this blog and asked could I post it here. But no matter how I got the info I trust the source and what an amazing lady.

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NEW-CAZ 6/25/2011 3:01AM

    What am amazing lady turning herself around.
We all have it in us to change, but need the inner motivation and self belief.
What an inspirarational story, and told so well Cinders. Thank you!
Just goes to show if you keep trying....as you do, you'll get there emoticon

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COSMIC_ENERGY 6/24/2011 9:00PM

    This is true. We can change. We have to have the internal motivation. Not just "in my head" I want to do it. What is the pain/consequence of staying like we are? What are the possiblities? When I started Eat to Live, I didn't think I could give up salt #1 more less meat. Sugar, no problem. But I did want off cholesteral meds and several other meds I was on. I've read Dean Ornish and Dr. Neal Barnard on eating meatless for heart health but never got this invested.

http://fatfreevega
n.com/blog/2010/01/01/eat-to-li
ve-6-week-plan/
and if you're not ready to go hard core yet...
http://www.drfuhrman.com/
library/are-you-a-nutritarian.a
spx

There are soooo many good sites like these. What I love about the 6 week plan is that there's no counting really, just good fresh or cooked vegs, fruits, some soy and beans for protien/no sugar, oil or salt and for weight loss only one whole grain starch and one serving of nuts (or none). No processed foods or caffine (ok I fudged on that one, but did cut way back).

You are a great listener and you always glean something new to apply. The trick is that you keep trying. I love that about you.

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TEMPEST272002 6/24/2011 7:58PM

    That's an incredible story. How lucky are you to have been able to talk to her about the changes she's made and how she came to those conclusions. Through your writing, I can see you really listened and took in what she had to say. Your turn next! I can't wait to read your first amazed-myself blog!

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Wow

Tuesday, June 21, 2011


As you all know I have been off work again, due to sciatica and bad pain. I have many worries and thoughts going on in my head, and yea worry is not productive but we all do to some extent and I am much better than I used to be. I worry about how long will this pain stay with me, will I be able to go back to work, do I want to go back to work, or maybe take time to live while hubby and I can.. do I want to travel, or build on our land ( well her blogs make me semi want to be out on the land.. but we wouldnt be in a close knit community like she is), will we have enough $$. Well surprise surprise!! ( not really!) she had dealt with all this and way way more. Much more than I have had to deal with - the only thing lately that I can compare would be my mum passing away.
So yea took me a long time to read all those blogs all so well written and heart felt but glad I did. Cos you know what--- it proved what she and many other sparkers say........ she is just a human who has been through a lot of trials and lots of problems huge ones infact, and she has gone up and down on the scale, she has binged as we all do sometimes, she has learned to love exercise and most of all to love herself and life!! again CONGRATS and I am going to learn from her!!!
N
Now it is late and I am going to take another pill cos I want to sleep and the pain in bad since I have been to physio... she didn't move me much just put the tens machine on but what hip pain! anyway no complaints just letting you know. lol
HUGS to all and again I am so lucky to have so many spark friends that motivate and support me!!
Night all!!! sleep well, wake healthy and ready to start another great day! Started EI june 17th 2011

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEMPEST272002 6/22/2011 10:53AM

    Well, now you've made me cry. I'm touched that I've moved you this way. When I was first starting out on SP, I remember doing the same thing with Carolyn1213. I remember realizing that Carolyn was a REAL person - and still she changed her life. To know that I've done the same for you, it's deeply gratifying. Thank you.

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JOYINKY 6/22/2011 8:25AM

    Hope you rested well Cindy. A new day to make healthy choices! Be well.

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NEW-CAZ 6/22/2011 3:20AM

    Hope you slept well Cinders...the answers will come emoticon

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JUFOME 6/22/2011 12:55AM

    Rest well! Wishing you answers and fast healing!

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COSMIC_ENERGY 6/21/2011 10:24PM

    Sweet dreams! I wish for you that this is yet just another temporary challenge or shall we say holding pattern time. The answers will come.

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Totally done Tuesday now. lol

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Well it was a terrific day even though most of it was spent in EXTREME pain. bad pain. I sponge bathed my first client, the 2nd didnt' want one and I did her house work, the 3 rd had shower and housework. I was done and just sat, hurt so bad. she knew and was worried. Anyway got home and called for dr apt AUG 2nd!!!! well uh NO. So said duty dr. said they are booked I said never mind I am in too much pain to think. So laid back down on couch with ice and near tears. Then phone rang, we had a cancellation for duty clinic 6:30 OMG thank you thank you. He spent nearly 30 mins on me, which is long for night clinic. he moved my legs, did the pulses, felt for knots, clots and then took a tounge depressor and broke it and poked me with it to see my feeling. Wanted to know when my back started hurting... said this am. So he got a chart and asked me to show the path of this pain. Said could be siatica... I said it isnt' in my bottom or my back of my leg but it can still go that way or a disc in my back. He also ordered a CT scan but that won't be soon as of the long wait time. So off work for 10 working days. ... He wants me to REST and not lift or anything much. so we are going to the trailer and back for dd birthday adn hubbys dr apt then back for while. so will be nice to get away where there are no stairs and I can't run around busy all the time.
Dh and dog both still sore. dog seems some better off and on,and hubby well his back still not great. Anyway we will be fine.
My one lady said you are strong I know you are a survivor LOL
so going to stop the challenge as we may have limited internet and also no scale. I will concentrate of rest and relaxing something I don't do well.
HUGS but will be around. we will probably get internet while there just not sure if be all the time.
HOpe you all make great choices and do well. Me I will try my hardest to eat well and at least walk. He didn't say I couldn't walk.
OH yea and they liked my hair do. and tomorrow we go see my friends and will spend time with dad i did mention that it was the 2nd anniversary so at least he knows I didn't not think of Mum./
HUGS cya

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESS0107 6/1/2011 10:30AM

    Bless your heart! I hope you get to feeling better soon! You just make sure that you take care of yourself so you can be up and about in no time.

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FUNKY5RED 6/1/2011 9:33AM

    I hope you are able to rest and heal. We will miss you on the Cats team, but support you in what you need to do. Hang in there.

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NEW-CAZ 6/1/2011 3:01AM

    Aww Cinders sorry to hear this hun, you take care and make sure you rest!!!
Enjoy your trailer time.
Hope you feel better soon. I know and understand mum is on your mind, only natural, try to remember the good memories emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 6/1/2011 3:02:35 AM

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BAREFOOTN 5/31/2011 9:01PM

    Hope you are doing better soon! Sorry to see your in such pain.

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JOYINKY 5/31/2011 8:30PM

    I hope things are better soon. Rest well tonight. Hugs, Joy

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OH man..........not feeling well on my day off leg pins and needles

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Today I was to get my blood work done to check for diabetes. I know I hate needles but wasn't that nervous. I slept well last night and the entire night in our bed( lol I can hear him snoring now though! LOL) Anyway, got up and suffice to say that I have gotten my exercise going up and down stairs to the bathroom at least 8 times in just less than 2 hrs. A few times nearly vomitting. So thought for bit I was okay, would go get blood done, started out and was able to drive to hosp. then had to park in emerg to run in to bathroom. My common sense said you are not going to be able to sit here for 3 hrs to do the glucose testing. So came home and still going but feeling better. I hope so. Will see how I am by noon. I was supposed to have dad come over for supper and also go to Tims for coffee visit with friend. So will see. pretty sure wasn't my nerves that bad, so maybe something I ate last eve and now will be fine.
Positive thinking right! LOL
I am going to figure my own exercise for all these challenges, I will do some from here, but one is doing cardio on day that other is doing strength and I can't keep up. I really want to lose 5% of wt. and like being on a team, and also even if diabetes is a scare like the cancer one, I need to keep this under control wth healthy eating. My leg is giving me some wonders, pins and needles, dull ache...
so going to concentrate on 5% challenge and logging food( which is going to be healthy!), and exercise.
Now on with my day....... I was going to exercise but had to stay near bathroom. now that the pain is gone I will do some strength exercises today.
We only have one thing to do today, other than I was going to go see Thomas but not now. I don't want him being ill nor his preg. mum. she heard the babies heart beat and they are prtty sure there is only 1 in there!
Okay off to get this day underway, after a bad first start!
Cya and hey don't catch anything from my post LOL hugs

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEW-CAZ 5/4/2011 3:28PM

    Cinders it could have been something you ate but nerves can do some funny things. Try some slow breathing, if it's adredalin through stress this will help emensly.
Hope you got there and got it out of the way; the thought of something is often worse than the reality. Hope you feel brighter soon.

Good luck with your "other" challenge- the 5%. emoticon

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JOYINKY 5/4/2011 2:47PM

    Hope you're feeling better by now Cindy. Could be nerves; but you never know. Wise to stay away from Thomas and his mom until you're sure. Be well. Joy

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TWNOMWE 5/4/2011 2:02PM

    Hope that you feel well very soon.
You inspire me just by having very positive attitude. I need that.
As the saying goes, the battle is won or lost by the attitudes we have going in.
emoticon emoticon

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FUNKY5RED 5/4/2011 11:39AM

    I hope you feel better very soon! Your attitude is good, despite being ill. The 5% Challenge is good, because we can all support each other. Glad to have you on the team!

emoticon emoticon

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JESS0107 5/4/2011 11:05AM

    I hope you get to feeling better soon. I'm sure it's just your nerves. I do that all the time. Oh, at least you are getting some cardio in by running up and down stairs!

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MJK0430 5/4/2011 8:33AM

    Hugs! I hope you're feeling better and that your day improves from this morning. I'm with you on the 5% challenge. We can do this!

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