Friday, June 24, 2011
I have a friend on another site that wrote this, I asked could I re post it here as it is quite the story. Scary but sure shows us what you can do if you have to. So since obesity is a killer too then does give you something to think about....
I have a friend who has lost a ton of weight and never, ever could before this last year and a half. I thought she just got really motivated or had surgery but in talking to her yesterday, I was amazed at what she said.
She said she was on some medication that caused her to have a rare disorder where she is allergic to so many foods now as a result. Allergic as in she swells and is unable to breathe if she eats even one of them.
Unfortunately, she loved to eat and eat really sweet, salty, junk foods... lots of processed stuff and was a great baker, so she always had decadent stuff at her house and ate it on a daily basis.
Then she got really sick and by the time they found out what was wrong, it was progressed to the point that to take one bite of some of these things would mean she would die before they could get meds in her to counteract the swelling. There was always the possibility they could get her to the ER in time, but probably not.
Her big excuse all along was that she was addicted to food to the point that she was incapable of change, so after years and years of dieting, she just quit and made the decision to live the rest of her life fat and happy and to stop the yo yo cycle. She actually never YO'd very much because she never lost much... she never was very successful through all those years at losing even 10-15 pounds before she went back to bingeing.
So how did she lost 180 pounds? She has to eat very clean... nothing processed, no sugar or sugar substitutes even, only fresh fruits and veggies, no preservatives, only certain meats that are lower fat and have to be baked or roasted or grilled, no soda pop even diet, so she drinks a ton of water. She cannot overload her stomach so she eats smaller meals more often during the day.
She said that when they told her how she had to eat and live she was sure she would be dead very soon because she felt like a victim of this addiction and could not change.
But she said she learned how much deception she was living in when she sat down that first day and had to choose to live or to die based on what she put in her mouth. She said she realized pretty quick she wasn't a victim and absolutely had the ability to say no to all the things she craved. She said she was so angry she wanted to ram her fist through a wall she wanted the food so much.
But she still had the ability to say no. And she did. But it took this drastic situation to get her to see that she could have done this all along and lived totally different quality of life. She said all those years she had lived this very selfish, self-destructive life as a victim... saying that the food was winning the battle and that she just wasn't strong enough to fight it.... as IF the food was making the choices for her. She said the truth was that SHE was completely in control all the time and was making the choice she wanted to make and was never a victim. She wanted to eat, no matter what the consequences were, MORE than she wanted to get healthy and have a better life. Her CHOICE was proof of that. She also said she never thought of how her eating was affecting all those people who loved her because through all the years they had to put up with her attitude when she was bingeing.
She said she never understood why she was so angry and pissed off and frustrated if she was supposedly getting what she wanted when she wanted it... FOOD.
So now she has eaten a day at a time, what will keep her alive and is even grateful NOW for the illness that put her in a position to have to grow up and make an adult decision about what to put in her body, instead of living like a spoiled little kid... doing what she wanted to do even though it was taking her life away from her in a myriad of ways.
Our conversation really affected me because I feel like at times that I can't and don't have what it takes to make a right choice where food is concerned and feel weak... but I am not at any point, even my weakest, UNable to say no. I may choose to say no, but I always have the ability. I mean, if I knew the next bite of something I want would kill me, I don't care HOW much I craved it, I would say no. So I have that same ability right now. Today. And all through the day today.
Anyway, thought I'd share this with you guys. I did not do as good a job I'm sure, telling you about what she shared, as she did telling me yesterday.
We are not victims. The food cannot control or master us. We are able to make good choices. I'm hoping we all do today. Anyway, something to think about...
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
As you all know I have been off work again, due to sciatica and bad pain. I have many worries and thoughts going on in my head, and yea worry is not productive but we all do to some extent and I am much better than I used to be. I worry about how long will this pain stay with me, will I be able to go back to work, do I want to go back to work, or maybe take time to live while hubby and I can.. do I want to travel, or build on our land ( well her blogs make me semi want to be out on the land.. but we wouldnt be in a close knit community like she is), will we have enough $$. Well surprise surprise!! ( not really!) she had dealt with all this and way way more. Much more than I have had to deal with - the only thing lately that I can compare would be my mum passing away.
So yea took me a long time to read all those blogs all so well written and heart felt but glad I did. Cos you know what--- it proved what she and many other sparkers say........ she is just a human who has been through a lot of trials and lots of problems huge ones infact, and she has gone up and down on the scale, she has binged as we all do sometimes, she has learned to love exercise and most of all to love herself and life!! again CONGRATS and I am going to learn from her!!!
Now it is late and I am going to take another pill cos I want to sleep and the pain in bad since I have been to physio... she didn't move me much just put the tens machine on but what hip pain! anyway no complaints just letting you know. lol
HUGS to all and again I am so lucky to have so many spark friends that motivate and support me!!
Night all!!! sleep well, wake healthy and ready to start another great day! Started EI june 17th 2011
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Well it was a terrific day even though most of it was spent in EXTREME pain. bad pain. I sponge bathed my first client, the 2nd didnt' want one and I did her house work, the 3 rd had shower and housework. I was done and just sat, hurt so bad. she knew and was worried. Anyway got home and called for dr apt AUG 2nd!!!! well uh NO. So said duty dr. said they are booked I said never mind I am in too much pain to think. So laid back down on couch with ice and near tears. Then phone rang, we had a cancellation for duty clinic 6:30 OMG thank you thank you. He spent nearly 30 mins on me, which is long for night clinic. he moved my legs, did the pulses, felt for knots, clots and then took a tounge depressor and broke it and poked me with it to see my feeling. Wanted to know when my back started hurting... said this am. So he got a chart and asked me to show the path of this pain. Said could be siatica... I said it isnt' in my bottom or my back of my leg but it can still go that way or a disc in my back. He also ordered a CT scan but that won't be soon as of the long wait time. So off work for 10 working days. ... He wants me to REST and not lift or anything much. so we are going to the trailer and back for dd birthday adn hubbys dr apt then back for while. so will be nice to get away where there are no stairs and I can't run around busy all the time.
Dh and dog both still sore. dog seems some better off and on,and hubby well his back still not great. Anyway we will be fine.
My one lady said you are strong I know you are a survivor LOL
so going to stop the challenge as we may have limited internet and also no scale. I will concentrate of rest and relaxing something I don't do well.
HUGS but will be around. we will probably get internet while there just not sure if be all the time.
HOpe you all make great choices and do well. Me I will try my hardest to eat well and at least walk. He didn't say I couldn't walk.
OH yea and they liked my hair do. and tomorrow we go see my friends and will spend time with dad i did mention that it was the 2nd anniversary so at least he knows I didn't not think of Mum./
Wednesday, May 04, 2011
Today I was to get my blood work done to check for diabetes. I know I hate needles but wasn't that nervous. I slept well last night and the entire night in our bed( lol I can hear him snoring now though! LOL) Anyway, got up and suffice to say that I have gotten my exercise going up and down stairs to the bathroom at least 8 times in just less than 2 hrs. A few times nearly vomitting. So thought for bit I was okay, would go get blood done, started out and was able to drive to hosp. then had to park in emerg to run in to bathroom. My common sense said you are not going to be able to sit here for 3 hrs to do the glucose testing. So came home and still going but feeling better. I hope so. Will see how I am by noon. I was supposed to have dad come over for supper and also go to Tims for coffee visit with friend. So will see. pretty sure wasn't my nerves that bad, so maybe something I ate last eve and now will be fine.
Positive thinking right! LOL
I am going to figure my own exercise for all these challenges, I will do some from here, but one is doing cardio on day that other is doing strength and I can't keep up. I really want to lose 5% of wt. and like being on a team, and also even if diabetes is a scare like the cancer one, I need to keep this under control wth healthy eating. My leg is giving me some wonders, pins and needles, dull ache...
so going to concentrate on 5% challenge and logging food( which is going to be healthy!), and exercise.
Now on with my day....... I was going to exercise but had to stay near bathroom. now that the pain is gone I will do some strength exercises today.
We only have one thing to do today, other than I was going to go see Thomas but not now. I don't want him being ill nor his preg. mum. she heard the babies heart beat and they are prtty sure there is only 1 in there!
Okay off to get this day underway, after a bad first start!
Cya and hey don't catch anything from my post LOL hugs
Sunday, May 01, 2011
I guess we had our sunny day when we most needed it! LOL it is cooler, dull and looks like rain, but that could change.
Enjoyed myself last eve, had a short rest late afternoon then was awake and up on here till after 10! I redid my page and wandered around seeing what I got myself into with these challenges. I am going to get a 12x12 sheet from my craft room and get it organized on the daily/weekly things for each challenge and put it on the fridge. With my time so limited in morning and tired at night, I have to be able to see what is expected of me. Easier right in front of me.
I will make it a vision board of sorts too. I have one downstairs in my work out area so will have one for up here too.
For now, I am going to go make my breakfast and do my bootcamp challenges and more cos know that it won't be 5 mins of cardio. Okay best get moving, laundry, breakfast, cardio and toning and oh man...............lol track my food! lol
I am missing another sparker.... her internet was down, but see her on FB. Carol come on back!!!!
HUGS to all, a great day in my little world. Going to go see Thomas today for bit if they are home! cya
poster by louise cary
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