Wednesday, April 09, 2014
What pray tell is different than yesterday? Well one my spark friends that have known me a long time came through and told me in smarten up, eat well, take care of yourself the best you can. Also helped that I was feeling so ill last eve with belly issues. lol
So this morning, I got up and talked to myself saying YOU have never given up before, yea close calls etc. but you always know that your body is worth taking care of. Heaven knows if I allowed myself to gain wt and get more unhealthy, I sure wouldn't be able to do what I want to do. As it is there are days I am not able to move as well as I want.
PORTION and CONTROL of my hunger are my 2 enemies. I eat fairly healthy for the most part, and have very little processed food in our home. So it is eating when I have eaten enough even though I still feel hungry and portions.
Today, Hubby has dr check up and I am going with him, stop at the store for what I know I need and then home to get some stuff done. Was going to suggest going to the kids but we do take Thomas to the library tomorrow so then will stop in and play after.
So thanks to all that spoke out, that listened and helped. I know that I go through this it seems every so often, but I also know that I do get through it and come out resolved. Working at making this time a long healthy time.
I just was looking for images of life is better with friends and didn't see one that caught my eye but did see this..... how appropriate as life is always going to throw us curves...
Tuesday, April 08, 2014
Okay of you don't want to "listen" to me go on and on about why I can't do or why I "choose not to", then leave now LOL
I am sick and tired of me and my attitude. I know to have a change you have to change etc. I know, I know and I know. I have been doing some sort of food thing since I was probably 26 or so and for me or anyone to say just eat healthy - well it doesn't seem to work.
I also do believe that GMOS are way to prevalent and deadly, I do believe that the wheat we eat today is not healthy and not our grandmas flour.... etc. I KNOW sugar is a killer, I read about it, see it everywhere, have good friends on here that have been able to give it up, eat healthy. Others say moderation... well I have broken my moderation portion switch. I can honestly say that I am very often hungry after eating breakfast and supper. Not so much during the day. But I can eat as much as hubby, 2 eggs, 4 pc of bacon, hash browns, toast and jam, and he will be so full. I will say really I could eat more toast or bacon. I am truthfully not full. I don't know why, it makes no sense. I am not at that time filling any void just hungry.
So, last year at this time I did the naturopathic diet for 3 wks totally strict. Didn't feel much better but did it, I then stayed on it for 3 months with only 1/4 cup of honey if I was to bake in an entire recipe. Yes I did lose wt, did my pain or anything do better, no. GF doesn't make me feel any different either.
I am saying go back to naturopath diet again cos you lost wt. She told me we live this way, it is doable long term for life. Well, boy I don't even have a clue what to eat for breakfast other than oatmeal or eggs. I was only allowed 1/2 cup fruit a day, and no grains, no dairy and no sugar.... yes to greek yog. 1 serv a day. anyway I know it wont last for life.
Do I want it that bad then, well guess not. I want to eat healthy, clean, and have occasional treats, say once a week.... Is that so bad. NO it isn't, is it do able YES. So why can I not do it, why do I "choose" to make it so hard on myself....
I am at the will I do it if I get ill, cancer etc. point - which I have always said is so stupid, you know to do it now, prevention!!! I worked in the medical field. but then I know many obese nurses. But I know also that to have my knees done it will be so much easier if I loose wt. I will do better in all aspects.
So know why I am writing this......... cos I want a bagel, I desperately want a bagel. hubby has them in fridge. they haven't called me in over 2 wks but today I want reg. cinnamon raisin bagel. Why... I had my oatmeal and am so hungry. I wasn't too hungry then made breakfast and bang man I need food. I am thinking of making bacon cos don't want to eat the bagel. What is wrong with me, my mind and my switch in my brain that turns off hunger....
Now I am debating, stay GF, do paleo/clean eating, do THM, or try again at clean eating with salads, protein, and some carbs cos I do know that carbs make me want sugar. and btw in that oatmeal I had some greek yog for protein and today didn't but some days have berries.
So yea how bad do I want this, it is hard to exercise but many on here do more than I. but as dr said seems even physio exacberates my pain levels. I am back to walking the dog so that is good. he said no to arm ex. till I get my arm back to reg. movements.
I am not sure why I am writing this, do I want YOU CAN DO IT, or SMARTEN UP, or DO THIS... yea I want hey here are some ideas and BUCK UP before your health worsens.
NO idea why I am so confused about it all, started yesterday when I made a cheesecake ( no added sugar but tons in the cheese and such I am sure and no crust) and did share 4 very small pcs with dd and her hubby and ate the rest. yes in one day. Hubby and dd said do you hae to eat it all today. save it savor it. no I have to eat it when it is there. I would rather eat it all, enjoy it and then say okay it is gone , no longer a threat... strange eh?
okay bring in on spark buddies bring it all on I need your input good, bad, ugy and truth!!!
Saturday, April 05, 2014
Well I got up with Allie, first time in what seems like ages but really isn't. We only went 2 blocks and back but that was fine. I woke up with stomach ache and also back and knees hurting. What's up with that, darn... still have 2 days of prednisone and was hoping that the effects would last a bit. But alas it is supposed to rain and rain seems to mess big time with me. Oh well, I will survive LOL
Hubby sold truck today so we are off to pick up our new to us car which is much better on gas. I will drive dads over to the other half of city and then we will come back and go out to the veggie store and walmart.
Not a lot more today, just a reg. wet Sat, doing odds and ends and resting in between. I want so bad to get strong............
Thursday, April 03, 2014
Saw this today and just felt it. I have been doing okay the past week. I had lost 5 lbs but now that I haven't walked the dog, cos of falling and then my arm, I have stalled then gained one. Dr has said going to be very hard for you to lose, cos menopause, inflammation, and the fact that everytime I work out even simple easy slow exercises my inflammation flares and pain gets way worse. It hasn't stopped me from doing it for most part, but yes the month of March wasn't great as not able.
However I do think I can do this, honestly not sure how well, cos I am eating very very clean, no sugar, no grain and yet not losing. I don't know what more to do, I am hoping to learn more and figure more and then get back to moving. I did 5 mins on my recumbent bike today and my knees hurt, that is even with feeling good cos of the prednisone. But I will do 5 again and again till I go to 7. that is what they suggested at group and even though I find it too low and want to do more, I know it will hurt me. So slow and steady turtle. Ironically I love turtles, and butterflies.
I haven't been on puter much cos not able to type. Last day or so hasn't been too bad, and today I did walk allie this afternoon around the block. I wont go out in am or dark cos still too much water that could be black ice. If I fall again any time soon I haven't a clue what would happen. My head still aches a lot more than normal and my elbow and shoulder still not great but improving! that's what counts.
So just a catch up blog and letting you all know, I may not be here lots, but am not down and out, and haven't gained lots and am hiding. I don't do that, I come and bemoan and whine not hide. LOL just not here cos busy on THM FB page and not typing much.
HUGS and be back soon!
Friday, March 28, 2014
Oh I am so so tired............ sleeping in the lazyboy for 4 nights is not conducive to a good nights sleep along with a very sore tender arm. But I did sleep last night much better and my arm is doing a fair bit better, not a lot of ROM opps Range of motion but not as much pain. I had a dr apt to get a prescription filled, and he had my xray and blood work back. all blood work is good other than my C reatactive protein is very high which just means my inflammation is high in my body. Well no surprise to either of us with my shoulder, elbow and my reg. issues. He was also glad I had the apt as my xray was back. I don't have nay noticeable arthritis in that shoulder, but at this time have acute tendonitis with multiple calcium calcifications, which he thinks 2 of them burst. He said that is extreme pain... so yea.
Now his answer was cortisone injections and or oral. I have nixed him on the injections numerous times and he said this time I would like to see something asap and I cant do an injection till tues. so I agreed when he said you have to decide to do something so opted for oral... so off celebrex, on my nexium and then oral cortisone for 5 days tapering 5 more days then off nexium 2 days after. Okay fine. not happy but I have to do something.
I am going to check more info into L gluteamine or whatever after I am done this as abetter inflammation helper.
So just lost 5 lbs and now on something that is notorious for wt gain, oh well I know I can lose it and hope to not even gain in first place! I wil do this, take care of me and get well again.
I have a great helper, hubby has done it all for me, dress me, make meals, etec. but lol can't put an elastic in my hair to hold it back when I was sick. Too funny but oh well. I am hoping to have a shower in the am. and will see if he can dry my hair with the dryer. lol that I know he can. Feel bad as his stress is super high and he is worn out too. Had to get my 88 year old dad drive me to dr today as hubby had an apt with his councellor at same time. So all is well that ends well. Not happy with meds, but happy with no arthritis at this time and that it is feeling better.
Okay now off to get my meds and some gas for snowblower as it is to storm yet again perhaps! lets hope not!
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