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Ramblings........ on a wet, damp day.

Tuesday, April 08, 2014

Okay of you don't want to "listen" to me go on and on about why I can't do or why I "choose not to", then leave now LOL

I am sick and tired of me and my attitude. I know to have a change you have to change etc. I know, I know and I know. I have been doing some sort of food thing since I was probably 26 or so and for me or anyone to say just eat healthy - well it doesn't seem to work.

I also do believe that GMOS are way to prevalent and deadly, I do believe that the wheat we eat today is not healthy and not our grandmas flour.... etc. I KNOW sugar is a killer, I read about it, see it everywhere, have good friends on here that have been able to give it up, eat healthy. Others say moderation... well I have broken my moderation portion switch. I can honestly say that I am very often hungry after eating breakfast and supper. Not so much during the day. But I can eat as much as hubby, 2 eggs, 4 pc of bacon, hash browns, toast and jam, and he will be so full. I will say really I could eat more toast or bacon. I am truthfully not full. I don't know why, it makes no sense. I am not at that time filling any void just hungry.

So, last year at this time I did the naturopathic diet for 3 wks totally strict. Didn't feel much better but did it, I then stayed on it for 3 months with only 1/4 cup of honey if I was to bake in an entire recipe. Yes I did lose wt, did my pain or anything do better, no. GF doesn't make me feel any different either.

I am saying go back to naturopath diet again cos you lost wt. She told me we live this way, it is doable long term for life. Well, boy I don't even have a clue what to eat for breakfast other than oatmeal or eggs. I was only allowed 1/2 cup fruit a day, and no grains, no dairy and no sugar.... yes to greek yog. 1 serv a day. anyway I know it wont last for life.
Do I want it that bad then, well guess not. I want to eat healthy, clean, and have occasional treats, say once a week.... Is that so bad. NO it isn't, is it do able YES. So why can I not do it, why do I "choose" to make it so hard on myself....

I am at the will I do it if I get ill, cancer etc. point - which I have always said is so stupid, you know to do it now, prevention!!! I worked in the medical field. but then I know many obese nurses. But I know also that to have my knees done it will be so much easier if I loose wt. I will do better in all aspects.

So know why I am writing this......... cos I want a bagel, I desperately want a bagel. hubby has them in fridge. they haven't called me in over 2 wks but today I want reg. cinnamon raisin bagel. Why... I had my oatmeal and am so hungry. I wasn't too hungry then made breakfast and bang man I need food. I am thinking of making bacon cos don't want to eat the bagel. What is wrong with me, my mind and my switch in my brain that turns off hunger....

Now I am debating, stay GF, do paleo/clean eating, do THM, or try again at clean eating with salads, protein, and some carbs cos I do know that carbs make me want sugar. and btw in that oatmeal I had some greek yog for protein and today didn't but some days have berries.

So yea how bad do I want this, it is hard to exercise but many on here do more than I. but as dr said seems even physio exacberates my pain levels. I am back to walking the dog so that is good. he said no to arm ex. till I get my arm back to reg. movements.

I am not sure why I am writing this, do I want YOU CAN DO IT, or SMARTEN UP, or DO THIS... yea I want hey here are some ideas and BUCK UP before your health worsens.

NO idea why I am so confused about it all, started yesterday when I made a cheesecake ( no added sugar but tons in the cheese and such I am sure and no crust) and did share 4 very small pcs with dd and her hubby and ate the rest. yes in one day. Hubby and dd said do you hae to eat it all today. save it savor it. no I have to eat it when it is there. I would rather eat it all, enjoy it and then say okay it is gone , no longer a threat... strange eh?

okay bring in on spark buddies bring it all on I need your input good, bad, ugy and truth!!!
HUGS

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MORTICIAADDAMS 4/11/2014 10:24AM

    I have similar problems - I have eaten and am sometimes even full but not satisfied and still feel hungry. I know the key is to reduce carbs drastically - a couple of weeks of low carb would correct things for me but I fight it. I hope you resisted the bagel. They just set you up for hours of craving.

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GRLTAZ 4/11/2014 9:33AM

    Wow, I see you struggling and I have no solution. (((hugs))) Maybe check out www.choosemyplate.gov for ideas. When I was younger and mom controlled what I ate, I lost weight. She basically followed the food pyramid guidelines which is what I am doing. I hope you find a solution.

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WALKINGGIRL6 4/9/2014 6:18AM

    The only rule you need to follow is to eat less. Keep it simple, it works

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SUSIEPH1 4/9/2014 1:32AM

    Darling Cindy .. STOP looking for special and outlandish diets ... Just try to eat clean fresh fruit and veggies .. You can do this my friend .. Don't waste money on fad diets .. If you must have bread have a brown bread with grains in it .. Eggs are fine .. Bacon is fine .. Just 2 slices are enough .. My nutrition is open on my page .. Check out what I eat .. Don't forget tracking every little morsel you put in your mouth is essential .. So is drinking your water .. At least 8 glasses a day .. I put lemon or lime juice in my water .. It helps to burn fat and makes water taste much better .. emoticon
Check out other Sparkers pages if the have left theirs open .. Some one who has lost a lot of weight is the best person or persons to advise you ..
Love you my friend ..
JUST STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP ! ..
This just makes you eat more xxx
Love Susie emoticon

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ANJAYS-JOURNEY 4/8/2014 6:55PM

    here we go again lol, now we can you all the advice you want but until you are ready to listen and act on the advice its no use giving it, I mean this in the kindest sense. But when you are ready you will do wonderful, hugs

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NEW-CAZ 4/8/2014 3:23PM

    Ditch the cheese cake number 1, number 2 STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP!
If you fancy something that much have a portion and rearrange your eating over the next few days to compensate.
You'll lose weight if calories out outweigh calories in over a week.
one battle lost does not mean you've lost the war!!!!

Strategize Cinders!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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COSMIC_ENERGY 4/8/2014 10:52AM

    OK Girl--Give that D@^^n cheese cake away. It's a trigger pure and simple. Anything that makes us want to glutton it all up at once is a trigger!

Affirmations for today. I can make smart food choices.
I love that I get to treat my body as a temple.
If I were in charge of my best friend's food choices and her life depended on what the food choices I made for her. I could do it. I can do it for myself too.

Butt kicking aside,

Use these words: "I love when"... or "I get to"
I pass up more toast
I am hungry after dinner
etc...

Even when what comes after those words is a frustration...The I love that, is a positive brain spin...

Come on--step it up mentally when you can't physically. I'll get up off the couch and do 10 min of exercise and not eat after dinner tonight if you will. Deal?(even just stretching or yoga counts)

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Saturday and I walked the dog again

Saturday, April 05, 2014

Well I got up with Allie, first time in what seems like ages but really isn't. We only went 2 blocks and back but that was fine. I woke up with stomach ache and also back and knees hurting. What's up with that, darn... still have 2 days of prednisone and was hoping that the effects would last a bit. But alas it is supposed to rain and rain seems to mess big time with me. Oh well, I will survive LOL

Hubby sold truck today so we are off to pick up our new to us car which is much better on gas. I will drive dads over to the other half of city and then we will come back and go out to the veggie store and walmart.

Not a lot more today, just a reg. wet Sat, doing odds and ends and resting in between. I want so bad to get strong............


HUGS

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUSIEPH1 4/5/2014 4:28PM

    Such a good idea getting a newer vehicle .. Much easier for you to get into. We had to sell our F 150 when I was unable to climb into it ..
So great you got to walk Allie So good for you both .. Hope your pain lessens or the doctor can prescribe something better for your pain .. Love and think of you often .. Susie and Bobby xxx emoticon emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 4/5/2014 4:13PM

    I hope you like the new car. I drive a 4 cylinder chiefly for gas mileage.

I want you to get strong too. emoticon

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GRLTAZ 4/5/2014 2:02PM

    Everything takes time for which humans never want to wait. LOL ! Nice to hear you are getting a newer vehicle and sticking to plan for health.


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SOPHIEDO13 4/5/2014 1:09PM

    Sounds like mostly a good day. I hope the meds last longer for you.

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NEW-CAZ 4/5/2014 11:45AM

    Hope you're feeling brighter emoticon

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DOGMOMMA2THREE 4/5/2014 10:37AM

    You will get there!!!

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GEORGE815 4/5/2014 10:35AM

    Hope your feeling better.

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Long time no blog at least for me.

Thursday, April 03, 2014


Saw this today and just felt it. I have been doing okay the past week. I had lost 5 lbs but now that I haven't walked the dog, cos of falling and then my arm, I have stalled then gained one. Dr has said going to be very hard for you to lose, cos menopause, inflammation, and the fact that everytime I work out even simple easy slow exercises my inflammation flares and pain gets way worse. It hasn't stopped me from doing it for most part, but yes the month of March wasn't great as not able.
However I do think I can do this, honestly not sure how well, cos I am eating very very clean, no sugar, no grain and yet not losing. I don't know what more to do, I am hoping to learn more and figure more and then get back to moving. I did 5 mins on my recumbent bike today and my knees hurt, that is even with feeling good cos of the prednisone. But I will do 5 again and again till I go to 7. that is what they suggested at group and even though I find it too low and want to do more, I know it will hurt me. So slow and steady turtle. Ironically I love turtles, and butterflies.
I haven't been on puter much cos not able to type. Last day or so hasn't been too bad, and today I did walk allie this afternoon around the block. I wont go out in am or dark cos still too much water that could be black ice. If I fall again any time soon I haven't a clue what would happen. My head still aches a lot more than normal and my elbow and shoulder still not great but improving! that's what counts.
So just a catch up blog and letting you all know, I may not be here lots, but am not down and out, and haven't gained lots and am hiding. I don't do that, I come and bemoan and whine not hide. LOL just not here cos busy on THM FB page and not typing much.

HUGS and be back soon!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHALLENGER15 4/6/2014 2:58PM

    emoticon

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PDQ1203 4/5/2014 10:15AM

    emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 4/4/2014 2:48AM

    Hope you health soon improves Cinders, like Cosmic said, it'll be mostly be water weight and will soon come off again.
Keep as active as you can.
Have a great weekend emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 4/3/2014 10:10PM

    I hope you feel well enough to get back to your everyday plan soon. Spring will arrive soon and maybe it will help your pain.

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COSMIC_ENERGY 4/3/2014 10:05PM

    Hang in there--the prednisone will make you gain weight, but hopefully just water. Keep exercising if you can.

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SEATTLE58 4/3/2014 6:09PM

    Well, it's so good to hear from you again too. I hear you with being on Prednisone and how it so hurts to exercise at all on some days. I'm getting it down to 3x/week with being on the Recumbent bike. I try for 10 min. at a time and try to get up to 30min./day, but doesn't always happen. I try to do my ST on the other days. It just seems like anything I do with having RA, I hurt the next day so much. If I don't do anything, then I hurt too the next day, so I might as well get up and get moving and that helps to lose weight. I can't walk for anymore than 10 min. inside or outside because of too much pain with the RA and OA. They say that slow and steady wins the race, so if we have to go slow and steady, we'll still get there one day! I'm glad that you're feeling some better! emoticon

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Friday afternoon

Friday, March 28, 2014

Oh I am so so tired............ sleeping in the lazyboy for 4 nights is not conducive to a good nights sleep along with a very sore tender arm. But I did sleep last night much better and my arm is doing a fair bit better, not a lot of ROM opps Range of motion but not as much pain. I had a dr apt to get a prescription filled, and he had my xray and blood work back. all blood work is good other than my C reatactive protein is very high which just means my inflammation is high in my body. Well no surprise to either of us with my shoulder, elbow and my reg. issues. He was also glad I had the apt as my xray was back. I don't have nay noticeable arthritis in that shoulder, but at this time have acute tendonitis with multiple calcium calcifications, which he thinks 2 of them burst. He said that is extreme pain... so yea.
Now his answer was cortisone injections and or oral. I have nixed him on the injections numerous times and he said this time I would like to see something asap and I cant do an injection till tues. so I agreed when he said you have to decide to do something so opted for oral... so off celebrex, on my nexium and then oral cortisone for 5 days tapering 5 more days then off nexium 2 days after. Okay fine. not happy but I have to do something.
I am going to check more info into L gluteamine or whatever after I am done this as abetter inflammation helper.
So just lost 5 lbs and now on something that is notorious for wt gain, oh well I know I can lose it and hope to not even gain in first place! I wil do this, take care of me and get well again.
I have a great helper, hubby has done it all for me, dress me, make meals, etec. but lol can't put an elastic in my hair to hold it back when I was sick. Too funny but oh well. I am hoping to have a shower in the am. and will see if he can dry my hair with the dryer. lol that I know he can. Feel bad as his stress is super high and he is worn out too. Had to get my 88 year old dad drive me to dr today as hubby had an apt with his councellor at same time. So all is well that ends well. Not happy with meds, but happy with no arthritis at this time and that it is feeling better.
Okay now off to get my meds and some gas for snowblower as it is to storm yet again perhaps! lets hope not!
HUGS

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MORTICIAADDAMS 3/30/2014 6:08PM

    I occasionally have to take steroids and I hate it too but it really does help. I hope it gives you some relief. emoticon

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DEEGIRL50 3/30/2014 5:10PM

    emoticon A good partner makes a big difference! Feel better soon.

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NEW-CAZ 3/29/2014 4:14AM

    At last you have some treatment Cinders, just because the side effects are notorious for weight gain doesn't mean it will affect you like that. But if it does, better to get well then concentrate on the weight. emoticon
Have a great weekend emoticon

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ALEXSGIRL1 3/28/2014 7:01PM

    happy no arthritis and a cure for your pain the weight will come off later but you will feel good in the mean time

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SOPHIEDO13 3/28/2014 5:57PM

    Glad you found out what it is that's half the battle. emoticon

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SEATTLE58 3/28/2014 4:10PM

    Good to hear no arthritis in your shoulders. So sorry that you've had so much pain, but that you're doing better. emoticon I know all about weight gain because of Prednisone, and I trying so hard each day to lose it, with no luck, but won't give up! And I know that you will too! emoticon emoticon

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SUSIEPH1 3/28/2014 3:32PM

    Hi Cindy .. Glad you saw doctor .. Great news no arthritis .. Don't worry to much about weight gain with Prednisalone .. Better to be pain free than a little weight gain ..I use Prednisalone for asthma.. So have gained quite a bit recently as had a nasty few weeks with asthma and two courses of Prednisalone ..
All well now and working at getting this weight off again .. Thinking of you .. Love susie x emoticon emoticon emoticon

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tues duty dr visit this eve

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Well that was painful...he asked the reg questions and such then said can you take your top off. well it was a pullover and I got it on this am. well OMG he watched and I had Mur come in and holy sugar... PAIN. so then he felt it and said hot, so okay something is inflamed. I said I am tired of my muscles hurting. he said well how did you fall again. I don't know. kind of long for that but could have done something that aggravated that and now it is hurt. he wants blood work and exray as soon as possible cos of the storm. he said can you put your arms out in front well I got about an inch and I screamed, so to the side no not at all, can you and he sort of smiled, put them above your head NO. which he knew watching me take my arm out of my top.
He did say could be arthritis in my shoulder but this isn't that pain which he also acknowledged. Said could be a calcium buildup like a cyst and may have burst. and he did say another thing which has totally slipped my mind. Murray doesn't remember cos he was busy remembering the name of the meds I had at home and which one to take. he has me on narcotics for pain and on 2 clelebrex instead of 1. He will call when he gets the results or if not better by next week come back.
I will say that since 3 pm when I iced and took the Tylenol it is 100% worse. Really really bad, I can't move my arm more than 1/2 inch from body, putting it down is hell and then feels as if it is loose hanging. he moved my shoulder as much as he could to ensure it was okay but said I didn't get a good range of motion cos of your pain. Best if feels is if I take my other arm and lay my sore one on the table, and then lean back a bit. but then if it moves it is bad............
oh well will keep you guys informed.
HUGS

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANJAYS-JOURNEY 3/27/2014 7:56PM

    take care and hugs

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GRLTAZ 3/26/2014 7:23PM

    Cindy, sorry for all the extra pain you are having. I hope it feels better soon. Be careful with the Celebrex. It is known to cause ulcers so just stay aware of how your tummy feels and watch for black stools so you can tell doc if it occurs. Rest up.

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SUSIEPH1 3/26/2014 3:27PM

    So sorry Cindy that you have to endure so much Pain .. I am very worried about the Celibrix .. It's a very dangerous drug .. Perhaps ask your doctor if there is anything else you can take ..
Love Susie xxx

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SOPHIEDO13 3/26/2014 5:34AM

    I thought of you today with your pain. I had my own pain today, I had a reaction to some new medication I was having and It made my whole upper body hurt Chest was tight, and abdomin got hard, I was that way for 4 hours I took the only pain releiver I had in the house 2 aspirin, but just had to wait out the meds as it ran thru my system. So today I have to call the Doc and let them know I can't take that medicine. I hope your pain decreases Prayers going your way. emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 3/26/2014 4:38AM

    oh babe, you're really going through the wringer emoticon
hope you get something to help- and soon emoticon emoticon

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DS9KIE 3/26/2014 12:07AM

    ouch...I hope you get to feeling better

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COSMIC_ENERGY 3/25/2014 10:41PM

    I hope it's something "fixable" and soon!

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MORTICIAADDAMS 3/25/2014 9:18PM

    I hope they find out what is wrong soon so they can get some treatment going. emoticon

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EJB2801 3/25/2014 8:47PM

    I am so sorry to hear about this awful pain!

Just a few years ago I had terrible tendonitis in my arm. It woke me up from sleep. I am a musician, so I couldn't work other than to teach, and that was pretty ineffective without being able to demonstrate. With the pain, believe me, I didn't feel like moving anyway. In fact, I caused the injury from moving heavy equipment as well as music stands and then playing piano a LOT and LOUD the next day.

Besides resting the injury, I found that moist heat helped me more than ice. It took a while to heal, and I went to physical therapy to learn ways to keep it from re-occuring.

I definitely feel more empathy for professional athletes with tendon injuries now!

I hope you will get relief and healing very quickly. Meanwhile, be good to yourself!
emoticon


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RAPUNZEL53 3/25/2014 8:44PM

  Hope you feel better soon!

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