Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Okay what gives with me. WHAT!!!! I do not understand what this is and why I do it. How do I get so prepared, ready, up, all about health and movement, get so motivated and then 10 mins later could care less. It happens so darn often. I don't feel scared, don't feel as if I can't do it, I just don't care at all.
Then I happened upon this:
Staring at me on FB... Not even a friend had shared it, was just on my page. Well, that has to be a sign, I am not stupid, nor am I foolish. Procrastinator, worrier, tired, sore, lazy, ummm sure. But I know I am not stupid. I also know that I have to lose this wt to feel better and healthier, to be able to move more and do more.
All my dreams are based on being healthy, even the ones that most people don't know about and the ones that I don't know how to go about doing. I am having a hard time this past while. Some stuff is going on that I can't talk about and it is weighing me down cos I hate seeing hubby have more to deal with. Oh well that is life and together we will get through it all again. We are both fine, not scaring anyone there are no health issues you guys don't know about etc
SO as per usual, once I start writing or thinking and getting it out, I can again see clearly, This time I haven't eaten or anything, it was fast was like man wish I had slept more- should go do some exercises... then remember take dad to hospital this am for O2 count and suddenly oh what the hell, I can't be bothered. and that is it I HAVE TO BOTHER ABOUT ME. I have a great spark and real friend, that is only 10 mins away, she is doing it, she has problems, she has issues but she can do it, She is making herself her first priority.... so why am I not trying too? I have all of you guys behind me.... and even if I have no money, things look dim right now, other issues, that doesn't mean I should make them worse by gaining wt and being in worse health. Get out and take care of yourself Prove you are not foolish and god forbid I hate this word but stupid. I feel if you know what to do, how to do it, but just don't that borders on being stupid. Argue with me, cos I know I am not stupid so ..........
now I am truly going up and doing my exericses. NOW. will even leave this on and come back and edit it. I promise ME and those of you that read this far!!!
Okay back.... did my phsyio and some wts for upper body. now have to wake hubby up in time to take dad to hospital for his O2 test. cya
and yea as per usual I feel better.. lol
Monday, February 17, 2014
Not sure why I haven't been blogging. Every time I go to blog I think I have nothing new to say so just don't bother. No it isn't that I have been hiding, I haven't done great, but not no major bad hard spots. Playing with the same old 3 lb up and down. But this am, I was thinking so many people want to control things, others whatever. I am not a great control person but then realized I can't even control something I can have control over - what I put in my mouth and how much I move!!! I am sure I have known that for years lol but it somehow just came into perspective this morning.
I also saw on my spark page don't say I can't ........... an appropriate thing to see this morning. I re read Steph-knee's blog about 14 days left in Feb. and yes I can do something about it. Also Mother Nature and I were talking yesterday and she is doing so great, sounds great, eating great, moving She is blowing me out of the dust!!! LOL I am so happy for her and know she will reach her goal. So after talking to her, and moaning about lack of funds big time, but also knowing I can still have a house and the ability to pay the bills, I got off the phone did my physio, and made one of my fav. suppers - stir fry which she was also having.
I also read something else yesterday and it too has given me more resolve. So even though we are still broke, still have pain, and all the things called life, that doesn't mean I can't give it my best shot while I am able. I want to be "able' for a long time to come so better get with my program. No one elses but mine - what works for me, may not work for you. But in saying that what I am doing now isn't working, I am not thinking it is the program as much as it is my regular issues. CONSISTENCY and PERSISTANCE. So have some stuff done already today, and know what all I am going to do. Have my list and am sticking to it. No reason I can't eat healthy and move more. Pain can be a factor but as my dr and specialist said staying still is worse, not that I do stay still but I can certainly move more.
Today it will be the bike and walk around house as it is super super slippery outside.
HUGS and I leave you all with this........
I am MY biggest PRIORITY starting NOW. I was my worst enemy and now am my best friend.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Just going to go to bed, not sure it is a great idea, but not worse than here. I am in such pain since last night. My L hip aches and hurts, both knees are bad, wearing my brace and tensor bandage on either knee, ( not helping) my L ankle and foot are throbbing. arghhhhhhhhh no idea where the hip issues came from but just wasn't able to lay on it or anything. Oh well...... it will pass I am sure.
Also got word today that hubbys aunt on other side of the family, and his god mother passed today. We have no money to go to the island again and there is also a storm coming so won't be attending that funeral. I hope that is all. not coming in 3 as some say... eeek
Did well today, we went to visit sil as was her birthday on Sunday and her son left for his job. Good visit and got home before dark. Now going to go to bed, hope to read and sleep. just wish the aching would go.
Oh hubby went to drs today and lol she couldn't find when he was to come........ it was tomorrow! LOL
HUGS all cya
Sunday, February 09, 2014
HI buddies, I have had a relatively good day. Aches and pains but nothing super outlandish and numbing. I have slept well for 3 nights running but dreaming a lot. lol oh well at least I am waking feeling mostly rested.
Had a good day today, got a bit done, rested some and just back from a good walk with allie, My knee hurt wicked when we started, and every few houses I would stop adjust my posture and keep going, only once did it give out and I didn't fall. 3/4 of way home I started to hurt and limp but that was pretty good. it was the farthest we had gone in a while.
Eating is better, we have been gf, for a week now and I am doing well. Hubby isn't eating lunch cos doesn't know what to have. lol I offered a lot of suggestions but no, also he still has laryngitis and cough so not feeling up to par.
Going to make chicken soup and also beef stew so we have some ahead meals and soup for lunches. Most store soup have wheat and also too much salt, rather make my own as I do with most stuff.
Okay off to read for a bit, then gong to do my stretches and go to bed. Oh well lol maybe not it is only 8:30! lol read, workout, then get ready yea it will be nearly 9:30 -10 by then lol
have a great day tomorrow and start it fresh and happy.
Friday, February 07, 2014
Read this on a site on fb, and then thought would be interesting to share. Don't shoot the messenger and I watch the show and thought she looked great while on ranch, not at all at the finale. The article says feel free to share so hopefully no problems here for sharing as it
has the authors name and such.
LOOOONNNGGGGG Post Warning. Biggest Loser: Literally and Figuratively
I laughed at the number of people who messaged me or posted on my page asking my thoughts on the Biggest Loser Finale the night before. I admit, I had not watched it. I quit watching that show a few years ago, when I learned first hand what the show was all about. What you see on TV is only part of the story. So I looked at a couple images of the show’s winner, Rachel. I was appalled, but not entirely surprised, given what I know about the show.
Then I started seeing a lot of posts on my feed about it. How could it not be talked about? The majority of what I saw echoed my sentiments of disgust at how shockingly thin that the winner was. Many said she looked anorexic, because she does. Many compared her to Karen Carpenter, and oddly, the finale was on the anniversary of Karen Carpenter's anorexia related death. Many said that the show has gone too far, because it has. Many said that her winning physique should not be celebrated, and it shouldn’t.
However, that’s not all I saw. I saw some people jumping in to defend her and the show. And that truly infuriated me. So I will tell you why.
A few years ago, I started training a Biggest Loser, Final 4, contestant during the “at home” portion, after their time on the ranch. I had loved the show, so I was excited to have the opportunity to have a little part in this girl’s journey. We talked during our sessions and she told me a lot about what really happens on the ranch. She told me that she had spent months eating 800-900 calories and exercised for a minimum of 6 hours a day, every day. She told me how several of them, herself included, were often delirious to the point of hearing voices that weren’t really there. She told me that they were pressured to work through incredible pain and injury. As she stood before me, having been one of the largest female contestants, she had her knees and ankles wrapped with more ace bandages than should be on one body. Her mobility was limited due to the amount of pain she was experiencing in her joints (FYI Biggest Loser Trainers: 300+ lb women should NOT be doing box jumps their first week on the ranch!)
I was shocked and completely disillusioned with the show. I thought I could help “save her” and coach her back to a healthier way of doing things, and I expressed my immense concern about her long term well being and what these drastic measures were going to do to her in terms of putting the weight back on when the show was over. But she was already brainwashed and wanted to win. Part of me hoped she was exaggerating.
That hope was put to rest after Jillian came to film an “at home” visit and workout. I was there for the workout, and the things Jillian said on film with a smile, didn’t match what she said off camera under her breath. Such as “yes, make sure you are eating at least 1200 calories a day *smile” while holding her hand over her mouth with a death glare on the girl saying “you better NOT eat 1200 f#cking calories”. I was beyond disgusted and at that moment, knew I could not watch this go on as her trainer.
The next day, I told her that I couldn’t be a part of watching her, and helping her destroy her health and her metabolism and that I was only interested in helping her lose weight for the long term… not just the show. I told her that I was confident that they didn’t give a rats ass about her well being, only ratings. To which she replied “well, I already lost X amount of weight on the ranch, so they obviously know what they are doing and maybe you don’t”.
We parted ways.
I said a prayer for her and knew she would gain all the weight back and I was angry at the show. That’s when I quit watching.
So now, for me to see people defending the contestants and the show? I will give them the benefit of the doubt because they don’t KNOW what goes on behind the scenes, but here is what people are blind to, that is right in front of them.
“Shame on everyone saying negative things about #rachel's weight loss. She just endured an incredible journey. She's 23 years old and has experienced more life than most of us. Go 'head girl. Haters gonna hate. #thl #finale”
To which I reply: It is not a personal attack on Rachel. I am beyond disgusted with NBC and The Biggest Loser. And while she may have endured an incredible journey to date, the most difficult part of her journey is only just beginning. Thanks to the biggest loser, she will likely never have a relationship with food that isn't completely disordered. Ever. And I'm sorry, her weight loss extreme, and the completely UNHEALTHY way they go about such weight loss should not EVER be commended or defended.
“I bet her BMI is perfectly healthy!”
To which I reply: BMI is completely ridiculous, as I am "overweight" at 18% body fat. And anyone that thinks she looked healthy has a distorted perception of what healthy means. At 23 years old, the dehydrated, wrinkled face told the story before seeing her tiny skeletal frame covered in skin. And just from the clinical perspective, losing 155 lbs in 5 months requires such an incredibly large calorie deficit per day, (over 3500 calories per day deficit) that they are physically pushing their bodies so hard for 6-8 hours on end and a deficit that large causes SEVERE adrenal stress, which most often results in total metabolic disorder. That "journey" is no where NEAR over. And I promise you with certainty, she will emerge far more damaged than she was at 260. And I am a nutritionist, whose livelihood depends on helping people lose weight and get healthy. And I would far rather see her at 260 than have her go through what she has done to her body.
”Why do people suddenly think it’s ok to body shame Rachel for being thin? It’s just as bad as body shaming someone for being fat. Leave her alone! I am a skinny person and it devastates me when people comment on it.”
To which I reply: Her “reveal” was a shocking site. And she INTENTIONALLY did it to herself over the last 5 months. Let's distinguish. She is not a skinny person…… that's the issue. She was an overweight person who became shockingly skinny for the sake of the contest. And I think it needs to be dealt with swiftly. The outcome was shocking. And the reactions were to how shocking it was. I don't think it's something that can afford to be candy coated.
No one picked her out of a crowded shopping mall and started shaming her for being too skinny. She put herself in the public eye by being in the show, and furthermore, she was a participant in making her "before" video where they are intentionally trying to "shock" people with a montage of them stuffing large quantities of food in their mouth, and jumping up and down in a sports bra and bike shorts grabbing handfuls of body fat and shaking it for the camera. They were TRYING to create divisive, negative thoughts and opinions about the contestants’ bodies in the viewers when they were on that end of the scale. So when someone takes it to the extreme at the other end of the scale, so how can anyone balk at the divisive and negative response to her transformation when it’s the opposite extreme?
”People can get mad about the show, and I admit, it doesn’t seem healthy, but they are monitored by doctors there. I put my trust in the doctors.”
To which I reply: Taking someone morbidly obese and putting them on 800-900 calories on 6-7 hours of strenuous exercise per day is 100% NOT kosher. Not even with a panel of medical doctors right off camera. Because I know FIRST hand that there were no physicians anywhere in sight when she was still under the shows "supervision" training at home. And putting your trust in a panel of physicians PAID by NBC where ratings are based on success and success is based on the most dramatic weight loss, I am confident in saying your trust has been misplaced. And now, you can see firsthand what the trust yielded. Her name is Rachel.
“The trainers looked equally shocked by her transformation, so I don’t think it was their doing, and Bob and Jillian put out statements that they couldn’t comment about her journey because they never trained her.”
To which I reply: Yes, they did look shocked, because it was shocking. But they absolutely KNOW what they have their contestants do – ALL of them. She just managed to take it a lot further than most peoples’ bodies and will power will allow them. Most people would have shut their metabolism down with that much weight loss, and that is what happens to most of the contestants, in the body's effort to preserve itself. However, hers allowed her to keep losing. I have no thoughts that she went rogue and did something more extreme than they allowed. The trainers were shocked because they knew the show was now exposed for what it truly is and they are all “caught”. They were shocked because they anticipated the backlash that was going to ensue. Of course they are going to distance themselves from her. If they congratulate her, there will be outrage that they are celebrating such a change. And they can’t really throw themselves and NBC under the bus because that’s who signs their paychecks…..
Next up: NBC and the show will throw her under the bus by acting like she acted alone and that they are not to blame. They will probably say that she had a pre-existing eating disorder that they were unaware of….. But no doubt, they will all try to save their own skin. At her expense.
In a nutshell though, it shouldn’t have taken this to open peoples eyes to how destructive the show is. The show takes the contestants in, humiliates them by putting them on display through the “before” video montage and the weigh-ins wearing minimal clothing (while they are at their largest). Funny how they cover them up more when they start shrinking…. The show AIMS to shame the fat version of the contestants. They isolate the contestants for extended periods of time, so they become so completely immersed in the show, it becomes their life… this tiny little microcosm that revolves around the gospel that these trainers are preaching. They do a great job. The show aims for shock value with the ridiculously inappropriate workouts, the first week, complete with puking and Jillian’s ridiculous “badass” face and shouting. They aim for shock value in the makeover episode, where apparently people must not realize that the show makes them all grow their facial hair and have unkempt hair so the “reveal” can be super dramatic. And in the end, they made the recipe for exactly what happened Tuesday night.
And seriously, who thinks that the trainers and show producers DIDN’T know she was that painfully thin? You think it’s a magical miracle the the show winner is always one of the last contestants to go? You think they didn’t have any idea how she looked and what she weighed and that 60% of her body was gone? Live TV or not, THEY ALL KNEW. And they not only condone it, they created it.
And anyone else out there who can support that and/or defend it…… in my eyes, you are equally guilty.
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