Saturday, November 23, 2013
HI buddies, well dad is 88 today along with his twin brother, lol of course. They are the only 2 of 9 children left alive. Funny both them, twins and not the younger end of the group either!
Taking him out for breakfast, then no idea what, ds will be over with the kids after he works till 5. and not sure what dd is doing, xmas fair today that she is at with the marshmallows.
I am sure she will be here sometime.
We had a license plate made for his car, that has the ship he was on in WW2 he asked us to make it around 3 years ago, but we didn't know how, found a place that does it so he will be so happy.
Went to the lawyers, very impressed with her, she feels YES appeal and said she would take the case. Expect it to be at least 2 years long, and have someone spying on you, may have to go to their drs, and my lawyers will probably be in a room with their questionf about years ago and education, personal stuff, ect aand cane take all day. I said I haven't a good memory, she said I will help you and do your best. May not come to that.
So needless to say my panic was EEEEEK. told hubby if I didnt need the money to life I wouldnt be doing this. Also said I should have my medical benefits still, so call and say reinstate my benefits I havent quit or resigned....
So now hae to calm down and just go about my life. I allready figured they would watch me, etc that is fine, I dont have anything to hide, I do have a sore back, knees etc... so watch me hold my back and walk silly. but hate this feel violated.
Anyway today we will drive dd to the craft salea nd hubby will help her set up. Then not sure what else.
Hope you all have a great day! HUGS
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Ahhh slept well but Allie did wake me at the new time... sigh. lol Got up and went for our walk.
I have plans for today, and some of them I MUST get done. Get all my paperwork for the lawyer organized and ready to take as I have fibro class in am, then lawyer.
So fibro class is insteresting, but one section I was a tad agreeable but not sure about. I told the dr and he explained it in a much better way. They were comparing sensory vs neuropthic travelways, dr said okay we think now, that in a person with chronic pain, - everyones pain sensory is the brain... but if you get pain in your back, - ouch, then in your elbow -ouch, your neck - ouch and soon the area of the brain is pain overloaded, works so hard it never shuts off. So even when the pain in less your brain says PAIN so now evrything hurts at a much lighter touch. No idea why or how to turn that are down but they think that is what happens. I found that more in line with my medical understanding than what they were explaining.
Also to PACE yourself and even on a good day, DON"T do more than just under your pain threshold. I think we are all guilty of that, even if you don't have pain, work hard and longer on a good day then pay for it later! lol
It is really cold out today, but so far not damp. I am wondering how I will do friday cos it is supposed to rain sat. Hoping I don't get a weather headache but whatever.
Okay not much to say really. OH I have golfer's elbow! LOL having pain in elbow on the inner side bone, so said is this a new fibro thing cos feels like the bone. He laughed said you seem very prone to small pain areas. I said even as a kid I hurt easily which he found interesting. anway.. said that bone and got me to move my hand and arm said that is golfers elbow instead of tennis elbow. we both laughed and he said don't play golf! LOL rest and heat or ice. lol
Best go wake hubby, he has been going to bed much earlier and gettign up just after I am done in bathroom, thisam said don't let me sleep past 8! Good for him!
HUGS cya later
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
I wills tart by saying this is from class, and I don't know who wrote it so I can't give credit where it is due, if anyone knows please let me know. and if I can't put this let me know and I will delete it. but figured a lot of us could benefit from it, They said at clinic it was free open material.
HOw to love yourself
1. Stop all criticism. Simply refues to criticize yourself. Everybody changes, but criticism never changes anything. When you are citicizing yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.
2. Don't scare yourself!! Living in terror of your own thoughts is a dreadful way to live. When you feel scary thoughts coming on, have a mental image ready that gives you pleasure and switch to that.
3. Be gentle and kind and patient. Go easy on yourself as you learn new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.
4. Be kind to your mind. Self - hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for your thoughts. Instead, gently change the thoughts.
5. Praise yourself. Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.
6.Support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. When you need help and ask for it, you are being strong.
7. Be loving to your negatives. Acknowledge that you created them to fill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So lovingly release the old negative patterns.
8. Take care of your body. Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitaility? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise do you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple that you live in.
9. Do mirror work. Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself as you look into the mirror. Talk to your parents as you look into the mirror. Forgive them too. At least once a day say "I love you, I really love you!"
10. LOVE yourself! Do it now! Don't wait till you get well or lose th weight, or get th new job or the new relationship. Begin now - and do the best you can.
As I said this is from my fibro course, and the teachers said it is free open to take. I hope someone gets something from it. I did from them all but lately esp. #2.
Monday, November 18, 2013
Had a good day today, but just read something from an email that resonated really loudly with me.
The wise man in the storm prays God,
not for safety from danger,
but for deliverance from fear.
It is the storm within which endangers him,
not the storm without.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
FEAR and UNCERTAINTY are 2 of my biggest problems, worry and what if are right there too.
I knew this was all going to knock me for a loop, but not as much as it did. I am still concerned about the fibro clinic, but not the reasons most people are. I don't mind walking in and having to meet new people, or any of that stuff, it doesn't make me nervous. Now what will is being judged and wondering what the leaders of it all think of me, not the other co fibro people. I also know that going to the lawyer is going to bother me, cos my memory is really not great, and I cant even remmber short or long term and get confused when and what year. but I need the money, am entitled to it and the insurance companies often think you will buckle. But the fact that I don't even remember getting EI 2 years ago, not at all scares me. man I don't remember things. Even my remembering did I walk, etc. and hhubby will say I see you limping, frowning, ouch ing.. i know you are. I think that is case of getting used to the pain.
anyway...... back to the FEAR... I have to stop letting it get such a hold and worry too or am going to drive myself crazy... I want live in our trailer not the mental hospital. Nothing wrong with going there, or even adimitting yourself ( one of my sil did) hubby hasn't had to go there but has gone to the local mental health office for many years. I have no problem with this just don't want to drive myself totally bonkers. lol
and this evening when I seem to be so hungry...
and as the busy week progresses..
So here's to an early morning tomorrow, and new things to learn, people to meet. 2 bus rides on time I hope LOl Wed. fibro then home and then dr apointment. Should be some tired by then 2 days in row, and bus then over to dr. Thurs so far nothing, and then friday fibro till 12:15 and lawyer at 1. eeeek. I will need a nap to rejuvinate! I sure hope this doesn't make my pain escalate to unbearable. sigh
for now going to go read and then walk the dog, bed early 6:30 will come early tmorrow, but knowing me I wont sleep well as will keep watching the clock even with the alarm set.
Saturday, November 16, 2013
This pictue is a year old. but only one I have that is good of us both.
Funny, I was on line and thought hubby was still asleep. I got an email....First Date..
Happy 39th Anniversary of our first date. Would you like to go out for a Hot Chocolate this afternoon in celebration? I love you !!!
Your loving hubby,
He never forgets and the past few years I never remember. He mentioned it the other day and did I rmemeber LOL NOPE so making room in my day for a small tim hortons hot chocolate today!
Have to go pick up dd at the farmers market and go to the veggie store too. I am still having a few freaky moments, not sure why this is bothering me so much, a friend said you know you never take care of you, make yourself a priority, now you have to defend you... Perhaps she is right.
Anyway off we go for a great sat/
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