Monday, November 18, 2013
Had a good day today, but just read something from an email that resonated really loudly with me.
The wise man in the storm prays God,
not for safety from danger,
but for deliverance from fear.
It is the storm within which endangers him,
not the storm without.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
FEAR and UNCERTAINTY are 2 of my biggest problems, worry and what if are right there too.
I knew this was all going to knock me for a loop, but not as much as it did. I am still concerned about the fibro clinic, but not the reasons most people are. I don't mind walking in and having to meet new people, or any of that stuff, it doesn't make me nervous. Now what will is being judged and wondering what the leaders of it all think of me, not the other co fibro people. I also know that going to the lawyer is going to bother me, cos my memory is really not great, and I cant even remmber short or long term and get confused when and what year. but I need the money, am entitled to it and the insurance companies often think you will buckle. But the fact that I don't even remember getting EI 2 years ago, not at all scares me. man I don't remember things. Even my remembering did I walk, etc. and hhubby will say I see you limping, frowning, ouch ing.. i know you are. I think that is case of getting used to the pain.
anyway...... back to the FEAR... I have to stop letting it get such a hold and worry too or am going to drive myself crazy... I want live in our trailer not the mental hospital. Nothing wrong with going there, or even adimitting yourself ( one of my sil did) hubby hasn't had to go there but has gone to the local mental health office for many years. I have no problem with this just don't want to drive myself totally bonkers. lol
and this evening when I seem to be so hungry...
and as the busy week progresses..
So here's to an early morning tomorrow, and new things to learn, people to meet. 2 bus rides on time I hope LOl Wed. fibro then home and then dr apointment. Should be some tired by then 2 days in row, and bus then over to dr. Thurs so far nothing, and then friday fibro till 12:15 and lawyer at 1. eeeek. I will need a nap to rejuvinate! I sure hope this doesn't make my pain escalate to unbearable. sigh
for now going to go read and then walk the dog, bed early 6:30 will come early tmorrow, but knowing me I wont sleep well as will keep watching the clock even with the alarm set.