Friday, September 06, 2013
Just got back from last walk and had put fitbit on charger to sync and went out the door without it. now not over my 10,000 but know it would be near 11. darn oh well I know I went.
Back has been sore today, not sure why -in that I didn't do anything to annoy it lol
Tomorrow is cole harbour days here in our community and parade, farmers market, art show, some booths and games and run, also fireworks at night that we will see perfectly off our deck. So will walk over and see whats up, then we are gong to the recycle place to take our oils etc. and not sure what else, then will watch fireworks.
Sunday my friend is coming over to help with my letter, also have spark friend that is knowledgeable in this as she has gone through it all that will help me also. I am thankful for the help and any suggestions.
Monday dad leaves for Ontario. Pretty good be 88 in november and off to see his only living sibling of 9. his twin brother and he are the only 2 left. Neat eh? He is gone for 4 days so hope all goes well.
Anyway hope to sleep better this eve. Not sure why I am not sleeping well at home and am at trailer. could be the noise but we are used to that, think it is cos I am hot and cold here and just seem okay at trailer. have a quilt and sheet, and perhaps the quilt is too heavy but no extra blankets only quilt or duvet. oh well will survive.
Off to read for while. have 2 books on the go LOL HAHA Caz, but am going to read the mystery see who killed the 2 diff murders going on. like an adult nancy drew. oh i loved those and before that the bobbsey twins lol
night all sleep well adn good morning to some. HI Susie!
Thursday, September 05, 2013
Good morning... I slept well again and woke with sore back and body parts but at least I slept. That is huge as most of you know. Walked allie and then came back and had a healthy breakfast. Doing well on food choices but only walking right now but that's okay.
Turned the heat on this morning to get the chill off. Hasn't rained but looks like it will and is damper. Going to walk with hubby and allie in a bit. Not sure if my friend is coming out this afternoon or not but that's okay, I have my books and think I will just try to relax my mind. Not going anywhere with that letter. I am having a friend who is pretty efficient at writing govt docs. as she worked there for years help me. She offered and I said maybe, talked to hubby and he said well she can help and if you don't like it don't use it. She will give you ideas anyway.
Guess best go help hubby, he is doing dishes before we go for a walk.
HUGS all take care of yourselves.
Wednesday, September 04, 2013
Good morning sparkers. I actually slept well last night, even though we are at the trailer, and hbby has slept in nearly 10 and he is still in bed. Good we both needed it.
Now I have to convince myself to get started on that letter. Procrastination is not a friend in any way,shape or form as it is just feeding my fear, making me nervous, thinking I can't do it, thinking I won't get it, figuring I shouldn't get it............ OH MAN.
Well going to wake hubby up, get us some breakfast, and walk allie. Then we will go down and pay for the early deposit on our lot and the elec. bill for here. We have to go to get some buns for lunch for hubby and sil sausages. Or maybe he will use bread... she may have hers in salad as I will.
Deep breath............ I am worth it, I do deserve it, I am hurtiing, aching and unable enough to have it... I am not a fraud, Others see a diff me, they know I can't where as I still seem set out to prove I should not just I can.
ARGH I hate this............ HUGS sparkers and for those of you that have no idea on the last bit, there are some that do and I know they understand.
Off I go to get a better handle on the day. It started good just my mind letting it get away with me. HUGS
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Slept poor, woke at 7, walked Allie, went back to bed at 8 and was up at 9. but think I slept or at least laid for an hr with minimal pain. Was sunny and warmish when I got up, then at 9 was dull and jeans type day. Now sunny again. lol
So far my butt, back and foot/toes are all that hurt. Good. I was asked the other day, how I am doing what I can do and be thankful. They even said that you can't be that sore or sick... So there is the same thing that many drs think if you can't be too sick if you can as my dr said get dressed, do some stuff adn go to trailer. Well sorry but do you watch me get dressed, I have been so thankful for this summer in not having to put socks on and even shoes, mostly only sandals. I haven't had to get jackets on with my sore shoulder... and do you see that after I do that load of laundry or help get ready for the trailer and even sit to go to the trailer, I can barely get out of the car and move... Sometimes I wish we could videotape a day.
So I have worked hard to chose to be more positive, I know my genetic makeup if you can blame that lol ( well having 2 very super neg. parents) has served me in my past. It is very easy for me to get down on it all but have worked hard to not get as bad. Even with thinking we were getting no money I was doing okay, not great but not terrified. Then when I realized I could appeal that didnt' help me, cos it is confrontation. I DETEST any type of confontation but for this I will do my best. Thanks to many spark friends and support I am not as afraid, but still nervous... AAlso the letter said if there is any new medical reports we don't know then you have to let us know so you can appeal. That should help as there are 2 xrays and another diagnosis. hmm
Also reading how to be sick as I mentioned in last few blogs and last night got to a super intersting aspect so am going to use my art journal to remember this. Thanks again Kay!
So off for now, hoping that my body doesnt get any more sore, but thankful that I have been able to move much more this summer, whithout the sciaitca as bad and that I can still smile, laugh and be happy.
Have to share a picture... Dil asked when did my son, Thomas' dad wear this shirt... he would have been 5 or 6. Thomas is 3.5 and yes mama must have been painting her nails cos I can see the all boy has his nails done! LOL
How can I not smile!!! By the way he is standing ona stool or something he isn't that tall!
Friday, August 30, 2013
We aren't going to the trailer but still hope we have a good weekend. I have had the most pain I had in while. Not sure what has bothered my back and butt, wondering if it is the diff seats in the truck, not sure but that is about the only thing diff. Could be anything weather or whatever but man.... sciatic butt again R side this time LOL
Along with my foot getting very sharp nerve like pain in my toe and top of my toe and foot, my both knees are sore L in front , R in back. and now my R ankle is starting to hurt. FRIG but you know what.... I am able to walk, and talk and eat and drink ( not enough water today) and for all that I am thankful.
Also so very thankful for reconnecting with simplelife4real, who is going through a hard time right now with a medical diagnosis and man her outlook is so positive. She also in a few blog back mentioned some books. I ordered 2 from the library. and one came today.
How to be sick by Toni Berhnard yea strange title but not depressing and very interesting. Even the foreward has been interesting..."this is a book for people that will not be their old self again and for those that.... getting better isn't possible." then later mentions in other words that there is always a silver lining, so far not a book that ignores the pain or suffering but explains ways to get past it. one part that spoke to me today was "it's easy to look back and see what a mistake it was to continue working whlie sick - it probably worsened my condition...... but first there is the financial need to keep working, second the utter disbelief it is happening to you.....people don't see you collapse on the bed as soon as you get home."
I must go to kays page and thank her for putting that info out there. I am so glad and I hope others look for the books she has suggested.
Think I will go read this book for while, then later just a story to put me to sleep.
HUGS and hope you all have a great long weekend if it is on where you are!
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