HEALTHY4ME's Recent Blog Entries


Wednesday, September 04, 2013

Good morning sparkers. I actually slept well last night, even though we are at the trailer, and hbby has slept in nearly 10 and he is still in bed. Good we both needed it.
Now I have to convince myself to get started on that letter. Procrastination is not a friend in any way,shape or form as it is just feeding my fear, making me nervous, thinking I can't do it, thinking I won't get it, figuring I shouldn't get it............ OH MAN.
Well going to wake hubby up, get us some breakfast, and walk allie. Then we will go down and pay for the early deposit on our lot and the elec. bill for here. We have to go to get some buns for lunch for hubby and sil sausages. Or maybe he will use bread... she may have hers in salad as I will.
Deep breath............ I am worth it, I do deserve it, I am hurtiing, aching and unable enough to have it... I am not a fraud, Others see a diff me, they know I can't where as I still seem set out to prove I should not just I can.
ARGH I hate this............ HUGS sparkers and for those of you that have no idea on the last bit, there are some that do and I know they understand.
Off I go to get a better handle on the day. It started good just my mind letting it get away with me. HUGS

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANJAYS-JOURNEY 9/5/2013 8:03PM

    this is something you have to do, can I help

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IAM_HIS 9/4/2013 9:22PM

    Very good blog...enjoyed your honesty!

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    Procrastination is a terrible thing....I think you are right that feel can sure feed it. I hope you got some work done on your letter by the time you read this.

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    Just push to get through the letter and try not to worry. They turn down almost everyone in the states initially. It discourages people who are frauds but people like you who can't give up have no choice but to continue so you can get what you need.

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NEW-CAZ 9/4/2013 10:07AM

    I understand you perfeckly LOL emoticon emoticon

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WALLINMW 9/4/2013 8:54AM

  Great Blog! You can do this, one pound at a time!

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EMPRESSAMQ 9/4/2013 8:46AM


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Sunny Sat... so far

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Slept poor, woke at 7, walked Allie, went back to bed at 8 and was up at 9. but think I slept or at least laid for an hr with minimal pain. Was sunny and warmish when I got up, then at 9 was dull and jeans type day. Now sunny again. lol
So far my butt, back and foot/toes are all that hurt. Good. I was asked the other day, how I am doing what I can do and be thankful. They even said that you can't be that sore or sick... So there is the same thing that many drs think if you can't be too sick if you can as my dr said get dressed, do some stuff adn go to trailer. Well sorry but do you watch me get dressed, I have been so thankful for this summer in not having to put socks on and even shoes, mostly only sandals. I haven't had to get jackets on with my sore shoulder... and do you see that after I do that load of laundry or help get ready for the trailer and even sit to go to the trailer, I can barely get out of the car and move... Sometimes I wish we could videotape a day.
So I have worked hard to chose to be more positive, I know my genetic makeup if you can blame that lol ( well having 2 very super neg. parents) has served me in my past. It is very easy for me to get down on it all but have worked hard to not get as bad. Even with thinking we were getting no money I was doing okay, not great but not terrified. Then when I realized I could appeal that didnt' help me, cos it is confrontation. I DETEST any type of confontation but for this I will do my best. Thanks to many spark friends and support I am not as afraid, but still nervous... AAlso the letter said if there is any new medical reports we don't know then you have to let us know so you can appeal. That should help as there are 2 xrays and another diagnosis. hmm
Also reading how to be sick as I mentioned in last few blogs and last night got to a super intersting aspect so am going to use my art journal to remember this. Thanks again Kay!
So off for now, hoping that my body doesnt get any more sore, but thankful that I have been able to move much more this summer, whithout the sciaitca as bad and that I can still smile, laugh and be happy.
Have to share a picture... Dil asked when did my son, Thomas' dad wear this shirt... he would have been 5 or 6. Thomas is 3.5 and yes mama must have been painting her nails cos I can see the all boy has his nails done! LOL

How can I not smile!!! By the way he is standing ona stool or something he isn't that tall!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BARGAINSHPR 9/1/2013 2:40PM

    Hi Cindy glad to hear your sat was a good day you. I have a dear friend who suffers from sciatica, back problems/pain, and overall body pain such as you described. Her Dr has also been disbelieving and skeptical. I had to rush her to emergency at 3am last week she was in such pain and this was after her Dr discharged her from the hospital at 3 in the afternoon with pain meds telling her there was nothing more he could do. Sometimes knowing you're not alone helps. I hope this helps. Also I'll pray for you if you're not religious or this offends you I apologize.

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    Try not to worry about what other people say or think. The bottom line is that no one can compare themselves to others. Only you know the truth about what you can and can't do, how you feel. Not even your doctor knows. Not everyone is on an even playing field either. My mom could do amazing things when she was in a wheelchair. She took care of herself and my handicapped grandma too. I had trouble getting myself a drink when I was in mine. LOL. I hope you will stand up for yourself or you won't get what you deserve. They force people to fight for what they are entitled to. It's not fair but it's that way everywhere. They know that some people will give up. Don't be one of them.

Thomas is soooooooo cute!!

My hubby and I have back problems and we have some devices that help us put our socks on. They might help you too. They sell them at some drug stores and at medical equipment stores. We have all kinds of helpers like that. They are fantastic. I love them.

Comment edited on: 8/31/2013 8:49:35 PM

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SUSIEPH1 8/31/2013 5:15PM

    What a lovely little man ! He is so cute ... I sympathise with you Cindy .. I am also in constant pain .. I use a wheelie walker to get around .. I can't hang washing anymore so, so I use a drying rack ..
I can't stand at the kitchen counter and scrape vegetables .. So I buy them pre packed now .. There are lots of ways we can help our selves ..
I do have a disability pension..
But it isn't vey much .. We sold our F100 and Caravan because I couldn't get up into the ute or stand long traveling with the damage done to my back ..
We all find ways to make life less painful .. There are just a few tips that might help you ... Keep fighting for your financial help my friend ... Much Love Susie emoticon emoticon

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SIMPLELIFE4REAL 8/31/2013 12:45PM

    I'm so glad you are enjoying the book. I misplaced my copy a couple days ago and my husband and I have been searching high and low for it. I know it will show up.

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NEW-CAZ 8/31/2013 11:15AM

    OMG he's grown!

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MOTHER-NATURE 8/31/2013 10:44AM

He is one handsome little boy emoticon

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RAINBOWMF 8/31/2013 10:41AM

    emoticon try to be well.

He is a little sweetie . emoticon

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Friday hoping the weekend is better

Friday, August 30, 2013

We aren't going to the trailer but still hope we have a good weekend. I have had the most pain I had in while. Not sure what has bothered my back and butt, wondering if it is the diff seats in the truck, not sure but that is about the only thing diff. Could be anything weather or whatever but man.... sciatic butt again R side this time LOL
Along with my foot getting very sharp nerve like pain in my toe and top of my toe and foot, my both knees are sore L in front , R in back. and now my R ankle is starting to hurt. FRIG but you know what.... I am able to walk, and talk and eat and drink ( not enough water today) and for all that I am thankful.
Also so very thankful for reconnecting with simplelife4real, who is going through a hard time right now with a medical diagnosis and man her outlook is so positive. She also in a few blog back mentioned some books. I ordered 2 from the library. and one came today.
How to be sick by Toni Berhnard yea strange title but not depressing and very interesting. Even the foreward has been interesting..."this is a book for people that will not be their old self again and for those that.... getting better isn't possible." then later mentions in other words that there is always a silver lining, so far not a book that ignores the pain or suffering but explains ways to get past it. one part that spoke to me today was "it's easy to look back and see what a mistake it was to continue working whlie sick - it probably worsened my condition...... but first there is the financial need to keep working, second the utter disbelief it is happening to you.....people don't see you collapse on the bed as soon as you get home."
I must go to kays page and thank her for putting that info out there. I am so glad and I hope others look for the books she has suggested.
Think I will go read this book for while, then later just a story to put me to sleep.
HUGS and hope you all have a great long weekend if it is on where you are!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CRAFTSFAN1 8/31/2013 1:29AM

    Take care. I hope that you get many great ideas out of the book to deal with pain. I'am sorry to hear that your pain is worsening. emoticon

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MORTICIAADDAMS 8/30/2013 10:45PM

    My house is a mess. I must work on it this weekend.

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RAINBOWMF 8/30/2013 8:50PM

    Take care of yourself, try to enjoy the long week end


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SUSIEPH1 8/30/2013 8:36PM

    Have a wonderful weekend my friend .. Take care of you .. Love Susie emoticon emoticon

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Thursday, August 29, 2013

Had a good day today, despite a lot of nerve pain in my foot and big toe. Really painful, so much that I wasn't able to walk llater in the day and screached each time my toe would touch floor. Man what is up with that. My other foot is a tad sore in the toes too. LOL am I storing stress in my toes LOL
Back is a bit sore and my knees are quite bad too but nothing like my toes.
ANYWAY emoticon Mother-Nature was over to visit and meet allie, Glad to say she jumped only a few times and settled nnot long after, she acutally didnt bother us at all. Maybe she is learning LOL Had a great chat and visit and am hoping she gets good news about her knees with the specialist - we have the same dr.
Also met up with old co worker on FB, and we are meeting up for tea on monday, I was her mentor when she started the course and worked with her for few months.
Hubby and I went for a drive to see this new start up of Cottage country in another area that is nearer to city, but they don't have anythign started, have sold stuff but not even enough of a road to drive in and see. But we found it out of the way even more than where our land is so probably will stick with what we have.
Well have to figure out my notes that I have been keepuing as I have to make that letter to long term that I give my dr who will help colaborate... hope it works as really don't want to have to go to a lawyer not my way at all. but will see.
Guess will go and read for while. HUGS all

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    At some point we all have to deal with lawyers. Ask around and people will recommend a good one. They are like doctors, teachers, and anyone else. Some are good, some aren't. There will be one that is right for you.

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ANJAYS-JOURNEY 8/30/2013 7:24AM

    sounds like a nice day, sorry about the pain though

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SUSIEPH1 8/30/2013 2:10AM

    emoticon emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 8/30/2013 1:50AM

    emoticon emoticon

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RAINBOWMF 8/29/2013 11:10PM


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SOPHIEDO13 8/29/2013 9:15PM

    Hope your toe feels better tomorrow !! And best wishes on your letter.

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SIMPLELIFE4REAL 8/29/2013 8:53PM

    You had a busy day!

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Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Well mixed emotions today. I hate confrontation of any kind. I back down, give in, hate hate to argue and only do so with hubby if it is something I really believe. Well guess I better believe in myself and my self worth.
Long term called today, saying they were sending me a letter, which will explain stuff. I asked a lot of questions,called her back and asked more. Seems if I don't agree with what they say, which is my funding stops sept, and I am able to do certain jobs, then I can appeal administratively ( myself ) or medically ( dr and me). I also have to get all my dr stuff since April as that is the last they have. I said well have fallen, have fibro, my thumbs are worse, xray said mid back is bad, so she said get the documentation and send it in. Has to be done by Nov 9. I have a dr apt for end of Oct. so hoping I can beg beg to get in eariler. But I am going to write a letter to him, asking him for all the stuff and such and an apt and a ltter saying why I think I can't do what they are asking. I am hoping that when he reads it he will tell her to get me an apointment. SOOOOOOOOO
Since that phone call I have had a heavy feeling in my belly and super anxious and stressed. Jumpy etc. Hubby says we can get a lawyer that only gets paid if you win. I am having more balance issues, tripping over my own feet, etc.
Anyway it is nearly midnight wanted to watch extreme wt loss as like chris powell, and fell asleep 10 mins before it was over. lol Now am awake and will have to read to get to sleep. I hope I sleep better, as waking with hot and cold and knee pain.
Oh well I can walk, talk, eat, drink take care of myself so am still thankful. I have to figure what to do. Hubby, and most friends say Diff than a few days ago when they said it is OVER sept. and we were trying to figure what to do financially. Anyway......... life goes on, it isn't life ending, and will work out somehow. It could be 100% worse. I still have all my family, my health as it is and love. I also have a lot of great spark friends that will keep me sane! HUGS and hope you all sleep well and for my other side of the world had a good sleep and a great day.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    It sounds like they are wiling to reconsider if you supply them with proof that you can't work. I would definitely send them what they want. It may be enough to change their minds.

If you end up having to work to satisfy them do you have to take the jobs they suggested? Maybe you could find something to do that you normally do and can usually handle. Could you work part time? It would at least be easier than a full time job.

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ANJAYS-JOURNEY 8/28/2013 9:39AM

    hugs and definately appeal

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SUSIEPH1 8/28/2013 5:06AM

    I think you should ring the office manager and explain what it happening .. She will get you a earlier appointment to see your doctor ..
The sooner you see him and get this sorted the better.
You certainly don't need this added stress .. Hugs and love. Susie emoticon emoticon

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SIMPLELIFE4REAL 8/28/2013 4:16AM

    That's a lot of stress to be under which is hard on the body. I'm sorry you have to be going through that.

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FENWAYGIRL18 8/28/2013 12:10AM

    If I were you'd I'd not only write to the doctor to try and get in early, but give the office manager a call of his office they are usually the ones that can make exceptions I know I use to work at a doctors office and if someone really needed to get in she'd come see the medical assistant and make it happen. Doctors are usually in the dark it's the medical assistants and office managers that can make things happen TRY THE OFFICE MANAGER SHE HAS MORE PULL!
Good luck! emoticon

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