Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Well mixed emotions today. I hate confrontation of any kind. I back down, give in, hate hate to argue and only do so with hubby if it is something I really believe. Well guess I better believe in myself and my self worth.
Long term called today, saying they were sending me a letter, which will explain stuff. I asked a lot of questions,called her back and asked more. Seems if I don't agree with what they say, which is my funding stops sept, and I am able to do certain jobs, then I can appeal administratively ( myself ) or medically ( dr and me). I also have to get all my dr stuff since April as that is the last they have. I said well have fallen, have fibro, my thumbs are worse, xray said mid back is bad, so she said get the documentation and send it in. Has to be done by Nov 9. I have a dr apt for end of Oct. so hoping I can beg beg to get in eariler. But I am going to write a letter to him, asking him for all the stuff and such and an apt and a ltter saying why I think I can't do what they are asking. I am hoping that when he reads it he will tell her to get me an apointment. SOOOOOOOOO
Since that phone call I have had a heavy feeling in my belly and super anxious and stressed. Jumpy etc. Hubby says we can get a lawyer that only gets paid if you win. I am having more balance issues, tripping over my own feet, etc.
Anyway it is nearly midnight wanted to watch extreme wt loss as like chris powell, and fell asleep 10 mins before it was over. lol Now am awake and will have to read to get to sleep. I hope I sleep better, as waking with hot and cold and knee pain.
Oh well I can walk, talk, eat, drink take care of myself so am still thankful. I have to figure what to do. Hubby, and most friends say Diff than a few days ago when they said it is OVER sept. and we were trying to figure what to do financially. Anyway......... life goes on, it isn't life ending, and will work out somehow. It could be 100% worse. I still have all my family, my health as it is and love. I also have a lot of great spark friends that will keep me sane! HUGS and hope you all sleep well and for my other side of the world had a good sleep and a great day.
Monday, August 26, 2013
Well along with the weather, my body is def. telling me I did too much. My back ironically is only a tad sore, but behind my R knee, L foot, R ankle and OH my thumbs... Weather is changing along with helpiing hubby outside yesterday and a bit today. Really hurting today. Wish there was a way for long term to see this and not think yea right, but oh well it is what it is.
Long term, or the other guy didnt call today. Plenty of time as we aren't planning to go to trailer till sept 3rd. Then only for few days as then home when dad leaves then work on his area.
Just heard that sil that lost all that wt, and works at the gym, has found out she has arthritis in her knee, foot and ankle and she allready knew it was in her thumbs. Said ha not related by blood but the same pain same places other than my back.
Well not a lot to sayjust dropping in to say hi and that I am around. Tomorrow go to said sil for supper as mil, and other sil are coming over from PEI. They are only staying till thurs and wed will be busy so this is the only time we will see them. Fine other than hubby told dad we would eat with him tomorrow eve, after I said should be this eve as bet dar. will want us over for supper. OH well he can go tell dad that we can't eat home.
Okay off to check a few things then going to go rest for a bit then get up again, as find if I go to bed too early I just hurt earlier and wake up around 3 or 4.
Hope all are well and doing their best. HUGS
sil just called... brother and wife are coming too and can come on wed. so it has been changed. so supper with dad tomorrow and I have time to make my gf bread etc. rain tomorrow so an inside working day.
Friday, August 23, 2013
What a great way to start the day, not often I get this and am so thankful. This morning I don't hurt anywhere. Been up for an hr, have walked allie and so far great, awesome. Last night for some reason I slept great. I turned out the light at 12. Remember saying hi to hubby at around 1 and don't remember anything else till 6:58 and then 7:01 as Allie said good morning.Usually my night is punctuated with me waking to move, or my knees hurting or lately my R hand going numb, yes hand not just fingers. But last night awwww sleep lol
This has been one of the better weeks up here, The weather was great with a warm breeze when it was cool and shade when it got hot. Sat out with next door at the fire, walked the dog, we discussed what to do with finances with a few diff. scenarios.
In the long run we are back to where we were with the cottage and smaller truck/trailer combo. Hubby has been playing with the idea of trading the car for truck, and offereing to city folk for a fee, to haul their recyclable ( ie, oils, old paint etc. ) to the depot as for all of this city there is only one place for stuff that you cant garbage. other than paint it can go to the recycle depot. also to perhaps do courier runs and small picups of someone needed something, not moving a household but if you get something off kijiji and need someone to get it. Will see, I am not sure he will do it but we need the truck anyway so will see.
I am back to good eating since Wed. not totally there but way better. Feeling better too although haven't gotten all the sugar and grain and yea I even had an ice cream, so haven't gotten it all out. But know that when I get home it will be as will be shopping for only what we need for health. Fine as have done it before and can do it again. Right now having a bowl of mixed fresh berries.
Well will go check my emails, and get that sorted, then off this goes, and by then hubby will be up and we will eat. He got all the outside stuff packed away last night as it was to rain this am. and yea it is lol So just the clothes, laundry and fridge to do and off we go. We take our time doing so but will be glad to be home.
Have to do a good check on dad as dd said he felt dizzy on wed. when he was out, but she stayed and did his cleaning and he was okay. Told her to call us or him to and we would come home. Could have been a bug as day 1 here I was not great but it left overnight. Well off I go to get my day started. Home, laundry, groceries and a talk with dad about his rent, and such if I don't get my long term which is 99.9 % likely.
HUGS and for once I can sy I am doing well!! I am thankful that I an think positive even when I don't feel great at least a little bit and know that when I feel this good it is a blessing, no matter how long it stays! LOL
editing to say darn... after writing this I got up to move around and yea the pain is back around my butt and thighs, for the past 2 day have had extreme pain where my legs attach to my body and a bit in my butt. Strange but is like the muscle is pulled to go down or up the stairs is wicked, the 3 to get into the trailer were OUCH so can't imagine the 2 levels at home. Perhaps it will work it out going up and down LOL
See you later!
Monday, August 19, 2013
Hope you all had a great weekend. We did for sure. Ds and his family came up on Sunday to visit and play. Play we did, Thomas doesn't stop and Eva not far behind. She is quieter but still busy. At least she will sit in the rocks and move them around and be happy for bit, HE is go go go all total BOY lol other than too many people ahead of us for the wagon ride and trying to explain we will go but the next turn he was happy. Tears then but thats okay he was fine after and enjoyed the wagon ride. lol
Today my dear friend Tanna is coming to visit. She came last time we were down too, I hope that all is well with her She is the one with the 2 cancer problems adn for some reason hubby feels as if her lung cancer is back again. I hope not it was gone, did come back and now she is on some medication to help it stay away.... still smoking though.
My toes are cold lol guess need some shoes on or turn the heat on. It wasn't as damp this am, but now is getting cooler in here. Outside is probably okay as not much breeze and next door is sitting out with t shirt. I have the heat on 68 and hasn't come on...
I am back to ensuring my inflammation markers stay down. A spark friend well 2 but one now doesn't consider me a friend,, , ( said I am non supportive but I certainly didn't mean anything in that way ), has made me realize this is a life long journey. Thanks to SIMPLELIFE4ME making me see that we have to take care of ourselves all the time. I know it and such but, do we all do it ? nope ....But after being off plan and even eating a few reg. cookies yesterday and last night having stomach cramps, burping and aches in my joints, it has only proved and shown me that I need to eat my greens and veggies more and get away from the sugar and gluten.
Back to the drawing board, luckily I haven't been too far away too long LOL
So going to have a good healthy day, have written a heartfelt apology to my dear sparkfriend, who I certainly didn't mean to hurt and hope that she reads the mail.
As for my other spark friends, HUGS and lots of love on this day. Do your best, I will do mine no matter what it entails. We can only expect what we can do, but we at least have to try.
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