Friday, August 02, 2013
Lately I have not been feeling the love and thus have not been treating myself with love. Oh, I have been treating myself, and then treating myself again and again and again. Wonder why I have been getting the headaches? Probably because I am coming off a sugar high and I am going through withdrawal. Last night/early this morning, I woke up and had SOB. Pretty scary and then followed by awful heartburn. That has never happened to me before. I hope it never happens again. Guess I got a wakeup call; now let’s see my response to it.
Why all this negativity? And this is supposed to be more of a “love letter?” I hope it is because when we are at our low point, the only direction we need to look is up. By looking up, things seem to be lighter, less burdensome, and more positive ~ anyway that’s how it is for me.
I have a friend who is dying. She has stage 4 lung cancer and it is just a matter of time. The new tumors they have found on her throat prevent her from being able to eat or drink. The most recent scan revealed how pervasive the cancer is throughout her body.
So then I think what do I have to complain about? Or why do I continue to indulge myself and not take better care of myself? Compared to Terry and her family, not much! I am basically healthy. I have a wonderful DH. I have three healthy children. I am fortunate enough that my parents are still alive and active. My in-laws are also well and lovely people. I have a job, which I usually love and some great people with whom I work. I have friends and family who care and love me. Am I near or at my goal? No! But I have not given up. I know there will be positive strides in the right direction and then steps backwards, but hopefully, the steps forward will continue to be bigger than the steps backward.
So, how do I love me? Well, a good start would be to make more frequent healthier choices. Since I do love me, I need to treat myself better. I need to have my actions reflect my words and emotions. I need to surround myself with my support groups and not retreat when I am faltering and spiraling out of control. That only further alienates me and then it can be even harder to seek out support.
I love that I exercise every day, sometimes not really wanting to the night before when setting the alarm clock, but never regretting it after I have finished. I love the result of planning my meals ahead of time. It takes the burden out of trying to decide what is for dinner and I know by sticking to my planned meals, I am taking better care of myself.
And I am fortunate enough to anticipate a long life ahead with things I want to do, memories I want to make and people with whom I want to share those life experiences.
Friday, July 19, 2013
This is just for me, and for accountability, so if you dropped by to look for inspiration, I am not really sharing incredible words of wisdom. I am simply putting into words my plan, hoping to increase my chances of success.
So if you want some ideas for menus, this blog may help, but otherwise, you'll probably find it boring.
For one of my team challenges, we need to plan a week's worth of meals:
1) scrambled egg on Arnold whole wheat thins, decaf coffee with .25 cup 1% milk
2) fruit smoothie with fresh strawberries, fresh blueberries and frozen banana and Greek yogurt
3) multigrain cheerios 3/4 cup mixed with Oikos Greek yogurt~ any flavor, decaf with .25 cup 1% milk
4) 16 g creamy peanut butter with 1/2 banana on Arnold whole wheat thins, decaf with .25 cup 1% milk
5) 1/2 cantaloupe with 1/3 cup 1 % cottage cheese, decaf with 1% milk
6) lemon muffin, orange, 2 tbs half and half.
7) smoothie with fresh strawberries, 1 tbs peanut butter and frozen strawberries.
1) Salad with grilled chicken breast, bib lettuce, grape tomatoes, bell peppers, and walnut raspberry walnut vinaigrette.
2) Garden lites broccoli souffle. Peach
3) Salad with solid white tuna on letttuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, zucchini, bell peppers, and 1 tbs light dressing.
4) Eggplant Parmesan.
5) Wednesday~ lunch out with office~ probably a salad with either fish or chicken for protein
6) Chicken and zucchini left overs (from a recipe) tabbouleh.
7) Fruit salad with 1% cottage cheese~ fresh berries, pineapple, peach.
l.asp?recipe=2157726 and pasta
and left overs.
Monday, June 10, 2013
- Although this goal is not measurable, feel better in the skin I am in. I want to be “healthy for life.”
- Wear the size 6 jeans I have in my drawer, again!
- Hit my wedding weight by July 15th.
- Lose an overall 20 lbs by the end of the challenge.
- Increase my endurance, especially for long distance runs.
How do I plan on accomplishing these goals?
- Plan what I eat before eating and eat within my calorie range.
- Continue cardio workouts for a minimum of 50 minutes each, 6-7 days a week.
- Strength Train a minimum of 2x a week and change them up 6 weeks into BLC.
- Sleep at least 7 hours each night.
- Drink water, and lots of it, 80 oz. or more a day.
- Stay active on SP.
- Participate fully in the challenges on my spark teams.
- Eat more fruits and veggies when I have a craving. These tend to fill me up with less calories.
- Don’t perpetuate the all or nothing mentality which has enabled my giving up for the day, or days, when I get off track.
Since, like many of you, I have done this before, once I reach my goal(s), I also need to come up with some new ones so I do not slip back into the same habits and regain the weight. So, like Arlene says, "forever"
Saturday, February 23, 2013
The official definition of stability is
"1. The state or quality of being stable, especially:
a. Resistance to change, deterioration, or displacement.
b. Constancy of character or purpose; steadfastness.
c. Reliability; dependability."
And by the online dictionary, Your Dictionary,
"Stable describes something steady that is not prone to change, someone who is level headed and who isn't subject to wild swings of emotion."
A friend of mine asked me to blog about what stability means to me BEFORE I have read her blog regarding the same.
So in reading the definitions provided above, some of the characteristics of being stable are contrary to my life. I don't want to be resistant to change. I am looking for it. That's one of the main reasons I am here. I think in the past, my words might have been all about changing, but my actions did not reflect that. I would look for ways to get healthier, lose weight, etc..., but they would be short lived and the result would be no change. Therefore, one could say I was very stable, at least according to the definition. But heck, I know my emotions were not stable. I know l would cycle through ups and downs, happy when I was heading toward my goal, and frustrated when I did things sabotaging myself. I would try again, and the cycle would repeat itself, the primary difference would be the duration of time between these ups and downs.
I must say however, the one thing which DID remain stable is that I kept on trying. Never gave up. That was not going to change. I wanted, no, needed to continue on this journey until I found something which worked for me. Something which motivated me. Something which educated me. And thankfully I found it with Spark People.
Saturday, February 09, 2013
I recently posted a couple of photos about what I looked like before I started Spark people and how I look now. I did not know I would need to follow up and write a blog about my progress so far when I originally posted those photos. I know I have come far. I know I still have some ways to go. I know every day can be a struggle, some more so than others.
I began my journey more than three years ago. If I was like the Slowest Loser, www.dailyspark.com/blog_topics.asp?t
I should have met my goal by now. Instead I have been more like the inconsistent loser, setting some goals, reaching them, rewarding myself, enjoying the rewards, and then, sometimes, moving in the opposite direction- only to have to lose the weight again!
I had many spark friends who have struggled with the same. Some of them are no longer active on SP. I miss them. Life sometimes gets in the way or steers us off course.
We have worked hard to get the weight off, reached a goal or an occasion and then simply stopped using the tools we have learned for success. Why?
Am I a self saboteur? Or am I just human? Do I think I don't deserve to have the healthy life I envision? Do I just get lazy and stop, not wanting to make it a priority anymore. Probably a little of each.
Last BLC round I was on FIRE!! I think I actually was the Biggest Loser, at least I know that for a few rounds to be true.
This round, I am closer to my goal. I am losing weight more slowly. I am having days where all I want to do is eat, sometimes holding off and sometimes not.
I have posted I will make it to my goal weight by the end of this challenge period. Is it reachable? Realistically~ probably not at a healthy rate of weight loss. Am I okay with that? Or am I settling? Or am I more motivated by this and the possibility of actually getting there? Not quite sure as I have mixed emotions. I don't want to settle or "give up" but I do know losing weight, at a slower rate, it is more likely to stay off.
Three and 1/2 weeks into the challenge and I have lost 4.5 lbs. That is more than a pound a week.
If I can continue to lose a pound a week, I will be that much closer to my goal weight. This is realistic and short term goals are better for me, at least I think. They are not as overwhelming and added up, they bring me toward those long terms goals.
And I know I need to do more positive self talk. I need to focus more on my accomplishments and abilities, and less on the words of self doubt which have been dancing around in my head at times, contributing to the cycle of negativity, bringing me further from my goals.
So check back with me in 8 1/2 weeks.
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