Saturday, January 15, 2011
I had surgery on my leg almost 2 weeks ago and haven't been able to do any ST, intervals, etc. I am only allowed to walk and even that was painful. My goal was to keep my nutrition clean the past 2 weeks and do what cardio I could. I had some good nutrition days and did some cardio, but I also had many days when I didn't follow my plan. I think in the back of my mind I was waiting for the all clear from the dr. to do my full program. I struggle with "waiting for everything to be right" (like that will ever happen) before I get going with my workouts. I used the surgery as one more excuse to not get going already.
I woke up in a not so great mood today and really had to fight the negative self talk. Truth be told, the negative talk won. I ran some errands, shopped a little, and spent some time with my son. After I got home I started working on a new vision collage. I've had the same one up for over 2 yrs. and it's been leaning against a wall since we moved. Got that done and wrote out some goals.
When my hubby called tonight I told him that I HAVE to get back on track and of course he told me "you're not fat, you look great". He's always very supportive so I went on to explain that I really appreciate that he feels that way, but I HATE (I know, don't use that word) the way I look and feel right now. So, he offered to support me however he can. Unfortunately, that won't involve him and the kids taking the junk food out of the house, but I'm used to that. He does a lot of the cooking and I told him the best way he can support me is to make what he wants for he and the kids, but to not be hurt if I eat something else. He said that was fine and he understood. Of course, he then said maybe we can rent a movie tomorrow and that light micro popcorn was ok for me wasn't it? Now, I have nothing against popcorn, in fact, I'm a fan, but he doesn't get the whole carb/protein combo I'm trying to achieve. One small step at a time.
One thing I realized today is when I lost the weight the first time we were dating, but I lived in my own home and had more control over my time and environment. Enough of losing 2 lbs, gaining it back, etc. It's time to make some real progress and that means taking back some control of me and asking for what I need. This is hard for me and is an area I'll be focusing on this year. The rest will come together if I conquer that goal.