I'm getting kudos from all but my spouse

Monday, April 09, 2012

I embarked on my weight loss journey rather quietly last May. Just up and decided to see just how many calories I was consuming and wondering if my foot would ever heal enough to do some "real" aerobics (read: basketball) again.

I looked at my lifestyle and thought about the low fat meals I was cooking for my new spouse, thinking they still had too many carbs to keep me healthy. What to do? I also noticed that while I was at work that he ate all day long -- hiding his candy bars from me; claiming that his nutritionist said that biscotti was good for him so he'd buy an entire bag and eat them.

One day at a time and over the past year, I lost weight gradually. For exercise, I doubled my weekly pilates to twice weekly.

I began getting comments at work about halfway through. Facebook friends noticed the loss. Sibs noticed the loss.

But nothing from my hubby. I pondered this for awhile and thought: is it his competitive nature? his inability to see me? his narcissism? my inability to state it? Was his daily goodbye kiss with a "you look beautiful, my dear" a routine?

Finally .. we're at dinner at a restaurant with his daughters and one of them says, "how much weight have you lost? you look great."

"Thirty-five pounds. "

"Hey dad, did you buy her some new clothes to celebrate?"

"No", he says, "she looks beautiful without new clothes."

Later he took a look at me and said, "you were joking with Linda, weren't you? You haven't really lost that much weight. I'd have noticed."

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CODEMAULER 4/9/2012 9:59PM

I followed RJSAMS over here (hope you don't mind!) and I've had a similar experience. Thankfully my husband doesn't notice when I gain, either... I guess. I like to think of us as partners, but my fitness and weight loss is clearly a journey of one around here. Thank goodness for SparkFriends!! Report Inappropriate Comment

RJSAMS 4/9/2012 5:21PM

Wow, how did you respond to his question? It would be hard not to get angry, but on the other hand, when you see someone every day, gradual changes are harder to notice. I'd have a heart-to-heart about it and see how he responds. Hopefully, he'll suggest a shopping trip for new clothes--sounds like you deserve it! If not, celebrate for yourself. Good for you! Report Inappropriate Comment

USMAWIFE 4/9/2012 4:37PM

Sometimes men /people can be such jerks. Someone once said that loosing all that weight makes a lot of folks feel insecure about themselves. They would rather see such fat to keep themselves from having to notice they are heavy or it can also be a jealousy thing. Some get jealous because they think we might leave them with the change in our appearance I know you are doing this for you.. Continue doing it for you and you only Report Inappropriate Comment

I haven't made my weight loss goal but I subtracted 5 more pounds

Friday, March 09, 2012

My original goal last May was to go from 170 down to 140 in 3 months time. I reset the date to November, then to January. I've reset the date to my 1 year anniversary in May and have decided to challenge myself to 5 more pounds.

I'm close to 140 and am now buying new smaller pants.

I'm very happy with losing weight and all I've learned even if I've never met the dates. I've learned a lot while in plateaus.

Tonight I'm raising a glass of merlot (100 calories saved up for it) to toast my new goal.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SEXYONE4 3/9/2012 12:33PM

Congratulations. Job well done. :-) Report Inappropriate Comment

Well, I can pinpoint when I started gaining weight: marriage

Sunday, March 04, 2012

I've lost enough weight and shaped up enough I was fairly certain I'd fit into my 2006 jeans. Nope, still can not zip them up.

I got married in early 2007 and didn't realize how much a sedentary spouse would affect me. I moved to his state, didn't find a group of women to play basket ball with, so that went out the window.

I tried ballroom dancing with him, yoga, circuit training -- nope, it didn't suit him and worse, he didn't like when I spent time doing these things during "our time."

I must have put on 35 pounds in 4 years time because it's taken me close to a year to lose 25 pounds and I still can't fit in my pre-marriage jeans.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HINCTYBEAT 3/9/2012 12:36PM

I"m in a similar situation - and my friends think it's so sweet that he wants to spend so much time with me (and with our two toddlers as a family).. I feel like I'm putting him out leaving the yard for a 40 minute walk! It is not entirely his fault. I realized a long time ago I should have a much higher tolerance for his irritation, and just do it regardless... Report Inappropriate Comment

FITN49 3/5/2012 10:31AM

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CRACKERJACK2825 3/5/2012 7:58AM

My husband is only interested in fishing. No matter what the conversation, he can turn it into fishing. Dog just died? "Remember that time he tried to eat the fish head after I cleaned it?" Song comes on the radio about a truck? "I wish I had a truck. I'd hook it to your mama's boat and go fishing." Thunderstorm so bad they're giving tornado warnings? "I was fishing a bass tournament in this weather one time!" I told him yesterday that I was gonna start doing what I wanted with my spare time, since all his is spent in front of an XBox or on the lake, and he said, and I quote, "Good. I can go fishing." Husbands.....can't live with them, can't beat them to death with a hammer and bury them in the back yard. Report Inappropriate Comment

BOSS61 3/5/2012 6:28AM

Damn those husbands. Everything, and I mean everything, is always all their fault. Nothing is not 100% their fault. Treat this like a truism; it will serve you well in marriage and life! (gentle suggestion of open and candid communication from one Sparky also mentally handicapped by my y-chromosome) Report Inappropriate Comment

ILOVEROSES 3/5/2012 6:21AM

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ELSCO55 3/4/2012 10:37PM

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I've reached another plateau so time to amp up the cardio.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

The last plateau lasted several months. A tendon injury along with a rotator cuff injury made it difficult to do cardio. Tendon is nearly healed, so I should be able to up my cardio much more easily this time around.

  

The Importance of Being, er, Honest

Friday, February 24, 2012

So I've been putting off counting my calories yesterday. For some reason after eating a pretty filling dinner at crisp and juicy (moderate sizes and well within calories), I opened the container of graham crackers kept in the car for my grandchild.

They weren't the regular nabisco ones -- they were Trader Joe's Cinnamon. I brought one closer and it smelled heavenly. I ate one. It was so delicious. A substantial bit to it with an aroma that contributed to the overall experience.

Alas, I think I gobbled 7. I'm not positive.

You know the normal guilt set in. I couldn't log in. I was sure it was a million calories.

Today I faced the music.

They weren't so bad and my calorie overage was less than 100!

But, I do not deal that well with so many carbs -- controlling carbs controls my diabetes. I will probably have to cope with a sugar drop this evening or tomorrow morning.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ONTHEPATH2 2/24/2012 11:26AM

Glad to hear that your calories were somewhat on track! I have a tendancy to sneak things that put mine waaaay over the limit! The important thing is that you were honest, counted it, faced the consequences and are moving on! All that beating one's self up for making a bad choice only weakens one to make another! I have been there and done that - and occasionally still do it. Awesome job doing some right things and congrats on the honesty! Report Inappropriate Comment