Sunday, July 01, 2007
Okay, I have to confess today. During my 2-week vacation period, I gained weight. My weigh-in was today and I was a bit apprehensive. I knew that I'd veered off my routine and ate more calories than usual. I didn't have my Spark to motivate and support me. I got on the scale and it was 186.8, a gain of 2.6 pounds from 2 weeks ago. The thing is, I'm not totally bummed out because I knew I did the best I could under the circumstances and there were days that I did well. I decided not to change my ticker because I don't want to dwell on it and I'll be back to losing this week.
I'm happy that it's a band new month and I'm starting a new week with a great attitude. I'm moving on and back to healthy living. Fit and trim here I come!
Sunday, June 10, 2007
I am so blown away by my progress and ever-grateful to SparkPeople for keeping me going after many years of false starts.
Since January, these are my statistics:
January versus Current
Wt. 212.8 versus 185.2
bust 45 versus 42
waist 40 versus 36.5
hips 46 versus 43
midriff 41.5 versus 37.5
abs 46.5 versus 42.5
neck 15 versus 14
arms 15 versus 14
thighs 27.5 versus 25
calves 17.25 versus 16.25
size tight 18 versus comfortable 14
BMI 34.4 versus 29.9
Obese versus Overweight
So many people are commenting on the loss, and in the past I'd actually not wanted the attention called to it. Now I just say 'thank-you' and internally feel grateful that people notice and maybe can be inspired by my progress. Yesterday was our community yard sale. My husband makes maple syrup and had a stand set up. I was telling a woman how great it tastes on vanilla ice cream with chopped nuts. She looked at me and said, "and you're so skinny!" I was flabbergasted!!!!!! That anyone would use the word skinny in reference to me was too much! Now I am by no means skinny....but I've read that the greater population in the U.S. are becoming more and more obese, so I probably just look thinner than I really am, just by comparison.
I'm excited that my waist and midriff measurements are declining. I've read that having a waist measurment over 35 inches puts you at risk for heart disease. Since my Mom had open-heart surgery at age 70 and both my Mom and Dad died due to heart disease-related illness in their mid-70's , I've been wanting to concentrate on this area. Still an inch and a half to go to get out of the woods, but very confident that I will exceed that goal.
I feel so good mentally, emotionally, and physcially that I can't imagine ever wanting to live my life any differently. And, I have these blogs to always remind me of the rewards of eating healthy and keeping active. Life is good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, June 04, 2007
I remember back when I was working and we had a brand new manager who calls us all together. One of the first things he said to us was how important it was to enjoy what we were doing because working comprised so much of our day…and “if it ain’t fun, why do it?” Those words always stuck with me and I apply them all the time to this journey to better health.
I read so many others’ comments and blogs that use the words, “struggle, battle, hard’ and how they are unable to stay away from ‘forbidden’ foods, not sticking to their exercise commitment, trying to use shear willpower to bend themselves into the person they would like to be. I felt that way for many years. I lost weight through shear determination and white knuckled my way through social events, holidays and challenging times. I ate foods I didn’t like all that much, but hey, they were low in calories….they may have filled my tummy, but they didn’t fill my soul… I’d force myself to exercise and couldn’t wait to finish. I sometimes had the will of steel and powered my way to losing as much as 40 lbs. at a time, over and over and over again! Because my determination could only propel me for so long before I crumbled. I couldn’t do it anymore. It was too hard. Little by little, I’d slip in some favorite foods. Then I’d skip a workout, then two. Suddenly, I’m back to eating a whole pint of Ben and Jerry’s while sitting on the couch watching TV. Back to sedentary, large-portioned, high fat/sugar life! And feeling more and more defeated each time I gained back all that I had previously suffered for.
They say that if you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what your getting. Another wise person (I think Einstein), said, “you can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it.” I’m now 55 years old and have been ‘battling’ this weight issue since I was about 10. I’ve finally given up the battle, and now I am winning the war!
My new approach works so wonderfully for me. I can do this forever! There’ll never be any ‘falling of the wagon’ or going back to old ways because I’m enjoying this so much why would I ever change??? That’s the key….I’ve finally discovered THE SECRET to permanent weight loss and healthy living!!! I’m not struggling. I don’t suffer. I feel enjoy and energy every day. I’m not anxious or worried about it. I don’t get thrown by occasions that center around food. I don’t get discouraged if the numbers on the scale don’t move. I’m not on a time schedule. I measure my success by how I feel inside. I know that there’s not going to be a final destination or an end to the journey…that this is a path I’ve chosen for my entire lifetime…and one that I happily and enthusiastically follow with no feelings of deprivation or angst. I now only do exercise I enjoy and look forward to. I love being active and get excited over becoming fitter and stronger each day. I am free from the diet mentality and fat personality forever!! I am a naturally thin person within and throughout, and day by day my outer appearance is morphing into how I feel inside.
How did I come by this approach, you ask? Well, it did take many years of trial and error. That’s part of the process. I read somewhere that it took Edison hundreds of tries before he was able to finally get the light bulb to work. So failure is never a negative…it just shows you what DOESN’T work. And, as long as you learn from that and don’t keep repeating the same mistakes (like I did in the past, which is another example of what doesn’t work), you’re getting closer and closer to the right solution. I’m an avid reader of self-actualization and motivational books. I have a thirst for knowledge and am a seeker of truth. I’ve found numerous web sites and articles on the internet that give me new ideas to incorporate into my life that align with my goals and my way of thinking. I go with what feels good in my gut. I’ll always try something new. If I find it doesn’t work, I quickly discard it and move on to the next thing. I’m like an on-going science project. I have a curiosity about many of the theories floating out there in terms of self-development and realizing your dreams. I’ve tried just about all of them, and in doing so, have evolved over time from a shy, depressed, self-loathing, anxious, pessimistic person to a brilliant, exuberant, positive, happy, self-loving person who is ever-guided by my spiritual inner self and my deep connection to God.
There are many tools I’ve acquired in my arsenal to assist in motivating me towards meeting and exceeding my goals. I’ve discovered what works for me, which isn’t necessarily what would work for someone else. We are all so unique, and it’s our job to know ourselves and follow our own path. Be curious, keep seeking, be open-minded and relax into knowing the answers will come. It’s worth it when you find the secret key that unlocks the door to everything you’ve ever wanted, and more! Remember that this is your life, you’re in control, there’s no pressure here. And, most importantly of all………JUST HAVE FUN!!!!
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
A wonderful Spark Friend I’ve come to know, love and admire, Lisa Sayers, posted this on the Secret Team:
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said "My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.
One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather "Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied "The one you feed."
I reflected on this story and it made quite an impression on me. We all choose how we act, how we react to certain situations and people, how we think and how we feel. A lot of times we go through life unconsciously, just having an unthinking knee-jerk reaction to life…going through the motions of our day…blaming our situation on others or fate or just bad luck…not taking the time to appreciate all the wonders and beauty around us. That’s the way I used to live my life back when I was in the rat race of Corporate America. I hated my job, lived for the weekends and holidays but was always too exhausted to actually enjoy them, thought some of the people at work were mean and selfish, felt like a victim of circumstances and thought, ‘poor me’. I resented being overweight and blamed my upbringing and tumultuous childhood for it. I didn’t see that I have always made my own circumstances. I was feeding the angry wolf and he kept getting stronger. During that period of my life, I felt a lot of sorrow, regret, self-pity, and resentment. I was envious and jealous of what others had. I felt inferior and self-conscious. I was led by my ego and false pride. These feelings are hellish, dreary, and dark.
I no longer have that battle inside of me because I have fed the loving wolf for almost 3 years now and wouldn’t (couldn’t) ever go back to my former self. I am so grateful to be retired and spending every single day doing those things that give me joy and feed my inner spirit. I love being outside in the summer, tending to the vegetable and flower gardens. Every day I’m filled with joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, and faith. It’s easier for me to be humble, kind, benevolent, empathetic, generous and compassionate when I’m in this state of pure love for others and for myself. By loving and accepting myself unconditionally, I've been able to shed 24 pounds over the past 3 months and have no doubt that I will reach my final goal. I now live in the present and relish each wonderful moment of life. I take the time to NOTICE...my surroundings, the wonderful attributes of all the people I come in contact with...everything in this world that is distinct and has something to teach. And I get to live my truth everyday too. I no longer feel like I’m playing a role and being that square peg trying to fit into a round hole, doing something I’m not suited for or interested in. I don’t have to work at pleasing others. By being my authentic self, I AM pleasing to others because I live my truth in everything I do and I am always guided by my spirit and divine connection to God. I genuinely care about the success of others with no shred of envy or jealousy. There’s enough for all of us to reach past our dreams. These feelings are euphoric, blissful and breath-taking.
I even bless those years that I suffered and struggled because through contrast you are able to appreciate when things take a turn towards better circumstances. Those trials and challenges got me to where I am today and the person I’ve become. You can’t appreciate the light without the dark. And my gratitude for all THAT IS NOW fills my heart with joy.
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