Saturday, July 14, 2012
I had to cut my summer vacation a little short. So much for taking the summer off and just being happy with maintaining....I've been in a downward spiral the past month and have spun out of control. One thing I've learned is that plans are made to be revised and updated. My maintenance plan didn't work and needs to be tossed and now replaced with my weight loss plan.
I don't have to look at a scale to know that I've been headed in the wrong direction. You know, that puffy, bloated feeling and the waistbands that are suddenly tighter, the lack of energy and overall down in the dumps feeling.
I haven't been updating my ticker with my recent gains, thinking I'd get it together and get it back off quickly. Ha! Delusional thinking.
So...tomorrow a.m. I will officially weigh in and it is what it is. I won't look back - just look ahead to feeling good again.
Enough of that! I will just do what needs to be done and not stress over it.
If anyone has noticed my new profile pic, you'll see that my hair has undergone a complete transformation.
It all started a little over a year ago. During 2011, I grew my hair out to donate 10 inches to locks of love.
This was taken 4-18-11
This was 10-14-11 - before and after the cut
I liked my shorter hair a lot more and decided to keep it that way.
Then, in January I made a very drastic decision.....
I no longer wanted to put chemicals on my head. I was going to go natural (which I knew was gray but I wasn't sure exactly what color gray).
I had been thinking of it for a few years, so it wasn't exactly a snap decision. Somehow, with my sister's passing in October of 2011 from pancreatic cancer, I had developed a strong desire to make some changes.
Here's the progression since my last dye job in January.....
Here's another one from 10-14-11 to show the difference
Okay, so I do look younger and my eyes look greener with the auburn hair. But hey, I'm going to be 61 in October and I've decided to embrace my age and do it gracefully. Heck, I earned every single one of those gray hairs!! And now I can wear deep purple and hot fushia pink without it clashing with my hair color. It's coming in more white than gray and besides, gray is the new blonde!!
Now I want even more to be a nice slim, healthy Senior Citizen. It's hard to admit when you've reached the point in your life where there are more yesterdays than tomorrows. My sister's passing has also made me realize how precious each day going forward is. I don't want to waste any of them with regrets. I don't want to waste them feeling ill or just feeling bad. I love reaching this stage where I'm beginning to see more clearly who I am and what is most important to me. Life is to be treasured and our bodies are what gets us everyplace we want to go. Taking good care of our bodies-our minds-and our emotions is the most important thing....all the rest is just of little consequence in the grand scheme of things.
Friday, June 15, 2012
I received the story below in an email and it was extremely appropriate. I've been challenged A LOT during the last 4 weeks. I've been up and down with my emotions and bewildered and confused a lot of the time.
Life experiences of late have made me stop and re-evaluate a lot of things. They've made me think about what is most important to me in my life, who I am, and where I want to go.
I haven't been on Spark this past month and my heart & soul have been touched by all the friends who have sent me goodies and emails of well wishes. I'm still busy with a lot of things so am continuing my Spark vacation, but I wanted to at least touch base with those who have been so kind to have checked up on me.
On the weight front, I am extremely pleased that at least as of last Sunday morning I was the same weight as 3 weeks ago. I have put losing weight on the back burner and am happy to maintain. I believe I will be ready to start back on the path this September to work on getting to my goal weight.
So, enjoy this great story and I WILL be back soon!
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do..
Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
He would shake it off and take a step up...
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.
Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well, and happily trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up!
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.
Live simply and appreciate what you have.
have a great summer!
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Paying tribute to my Mom who was called on 7-8-1996; my mother-in-law who was called on 2-14-2004; and my dear sister who was a wonderful mother and was called on 10-2-2011.
Happy Mothers Day to all mothers...those who have given birth and those who have loved children as if they were their own....here on earth and in Heaven.
Friday, May 11, 2012
After avoiding SP the past week or so, I've decided to come clean and admit to you all that I blew my T-Tapp bootcamp. I have decided that I don't need to add guilt to all of the emotions I've been experiencing lately. If I write about my failure, maybe I can move past it better.
I may have jinxed it by blogging about it beforehand. That seems to always happen to me. I don't know if it puts more pressure on me to know people are looking forward to hearing of my success, or it's a matter of wishful thinking when I write out a plan that sounds perfect on paper. Maybe it sounds good but is just easier said than done.
I seem to often come up with these grand and glorious ideas on how I'm going to achieve something, but then find it difficult to follow through. When I've had the most success, I've been quiet about what I'm doing and afterwards happily report on the results. Then it's not just a bunch of words.
Things for me are in a little bit of an uproar because I need to make changes in several areas of my life. Change is uncomfortable. Change can create stress, especially for me.
I retired on 4/1/2005 from an extremely stressful job. I had worked 31 years at a big corporation and never really liked the various jobs I held there throughout all those years. I climbed up the ladder of success with a ball and chain attached to my ankle. Retirement was such a blessing! For the first few years I was finally feeling peaceful and getting in touch with the real me. It was simply heavenly!
As is true in life, things change. My medical premium kept going up every year to the point where it finally ate up 3/4 of my pension. Now I had a different stress; less money for the things I desired. We're doing okay because we don't have debt, but I'm at the point now where I have to be extremely disciplined with spending. I've come to realize that it causes me stress and unhappiness to have to manage every penny and say no to certain purchases.
This week I've taken some actions to rectify the problem.
First, I became an independent sales rep for Miche bags. I didn't know about these handbags until I went to a party. I was so impresed with them that I looked into selling them. I'm not going to go into further detail because I know that SP frowns on doing any sort of advertising. Suffice it to say that I'm excited about it and believe that the product will sell itself. I hope to be able to make a little extra spending money and have fun in the process.
The second thing I did was fill out an application to work in one of the school cafeterias in my town. I delivered my application in person and was delighted when I was told I would be hearing from them for an interview. She even asked me if I'd be interested in some other jobs such as monitoring the playground or helping the teachers. I may have to start out as a substitute, but it will help to get my foot in the door. I'm hoping to eventually get a full-time position that comes with medical benefits. That would be so great! I am staying optimistic and positive because I believe this job would be good for me on many levels.
But, of course, you always have to give up something to get something. I will no longer have all of my days to myself to do whatever I please. But sometimes I feel like I fritter away the day just because I can. Too much time spent on the computer or watching tv shows. I look back on the week and feel I've accomplished nothing of value. Sometimes I feel as though I'm muddling through each day without a purpose. Working does add a sense of accomplishment and increases your circle of friends. Working at a school, at least I'll still have all of July and August free to do my gardening and go on my morning walks.
I have mixed emotions about both the sales job and the school job. Any of the negative emotions I have are tied to a lack of confidence....do I have what it takes?....can I really do a good job?....will I become stressed again because I'm such a perfectionist that I set the bar too high for myself?....will I end up failing and feeling worse about myself?
This all creates anxiety, and guess what I do when I'm feeling anxious? You guessed it: turn to food and eat too much of the wrong things.
One of the things I've been interested in doing to relieve some of my negative feelings is something called EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique. It's a process of tapping certain meridians to unblock the flow of energy - similar to accupuncture and accupressure. It's supposed to be highly effective in treating addictions and phobias and various emotional problems. I realize that my emotions need just as much healing as my body, maybe even more so. I would like to work on this through EFT and meditation.
So........there you have it! The good, bad, and ugly of where I'm at. You may not hear from me in a blog for a while, but when you do I'm hopeful it will be good news.
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