Saturday, January 21, 2012
Sometimes I think I take myself way too seriously. I'm not sure how I got so intense, but that doesn't really matter. I don't need to analyze it, or figure out anything that happened during my formative years for that matter, because whatever happened in the past is gone and we are in control of who we are today....which means we can change anything we don't like.
Of course, we have to acknowledge and own our perceived shortcomings before we can change them. If we don't like it, change it. We have to want to change in order to change. Sometimes we don't want to change but feel pressured by what others think and get caught up on how we should be. I say, accept me warts and all or keep on walking.
With the things I do want to change, I find that I'm most successful if I make it fun. We have a tendency to instinctively move away from what's unpleasant and move towards pleasure. It's a lot easier to sit down to a healthy meal that's tasty and looks appealing than to eat something bland and dull. Using colors in food, spices, unique textures and the right mixture of savory, sweet, crunchy, creamy, etc. makes food fun and eating pleasurable. Contrary to what you'd think, I feel that if eating is pleasurable, it stands to reason we would eat less of it because we would feel satisfied sooner. I know that if I eat something low in calories and it's not what I really want; I'II continue to eat, searching for that satisfaction.
When things are going the way I'd like, it's tempting to get into a "woe is me" arttitude and sink into the negative thinking of hopelessness. It doesn't feel good to be there. What needs to be done is the exact opposite. Laugh at your shortcomings and love yourself anyway. Tell yourself that yeah, you goofed up but that doesn't mean you won't do better the next time. Embrace your imperfections and find a way to make it work despite them.
Last Monday night I watched the TV special celebrating Betty White's 90th birthday. I marvel at her. I remember reading that she eats hot dogs and junk food. Maybe it's good genes, but I think a lot of it has to do with her sense of humor. She's not been without tragedies in her life. I'm sure the death of her husband Allan Ludden was difficult. Laughter really is the best medicine and she is the queen of laughter. At 90 years old she's still working, still mentally sharp as a pistol, and looks fantastic. Another example is George Burns. He lived to be 100 and he smoked cigars. HIs most famous quote is, "If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself."
My sister had a way of looking on the bright side of things. She had a great sense of humor. She was loved by many people because she was just so much fun to be around. There was no drama with her. Her smile and the twinkle in her eyes just made you feel good. Since she's passed, I often feel a nudging to do something that I wouldn't ordinarily do. I find myself having a different perspective on things. I know Janet is watching over me and inspiring me every day. And right now she's telling me, "don't worry, be happy; smile and laugh; enjoy life because life is precious and short; be good to yourself and love you as I loved you". She is the number one person who loved me despite my imperfections; in fact, it was my imperfections she loved the most.
This just might make you laugh:
Check your shampoo bottle label.
I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner.
It's the shampoo I use in the shower!
When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body and
(duh!) printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning:
FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY ---
No wonder I have been gaining weight!
Well! I have gotten rid of that shampoo and I am going to start using
Dawn dish washing liquid instead.
Their label reads,
DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE.
If I don't answer the phone, I'll be in the shower!
Friday, January 20, 2012
UGH! The common cold...
This really captures how I feel
It started Monday morning when I woke up with a sore throat and the sniffles. I woke up every morning thereafter with a sore throat and a completely stuffed up nose. I've gone through 2 boxes of tissues.
I nurtured myself with natural remedies of gargling with salt water, drinking hot lemon water, green tea & honey, taking supplements of zinc & 1000 mg time-released vitamin C, eating hot soup and lots of oranges. I reluctantly took Coricidin, which always makes me feel foggy, so I stopped taking it during the day and just took it before bed. I resorted to wearing breathe right strips on my nose (youch, they hurt when you take them off!).
I took the old saying of "starve a fever, feed a cold" literally and ate constantly. My appetitie was voracious all week! I mean, it was non-stop!!! I couldn't seem to control myself.
Added to that, I couldn't go to Zumba classes and I wasn't up to doing any walking workouts.
I had lost 1.8 lbs. last Sunday and now I fear I've not only gained those back, but more. REALLY???!!!!! Why is the Universe working against me? Looks like I need to do some major chaning of my thoughts & vibrations.
Today I felt a glimmer of hope as I awoke without a sore throat for the first time this week. My nose is still stuffy, but tolerable. I read that the common cold usually lasts from 7-10 days, so I'm at least more than halfway through it.
I'm disappointed that I allowed this become an excuse to overeat. Yeah, I couldn't exercise, but I could've eaten in moderation.
This morning we got a special delivery. One of our Christmas presents from my stepdaughter & family was a 3-month fruit of the month selection from Harry & David. We got our honeybells! They are SO juicey & delicious!!! DH made me put the bib on so he could take a picture. I can't believe I allowed this, and REALLY can't believe I'm actually going to post the pics!
Yep, that's me - looking my absoute worst!
Okay, the pity party is over....pack up the w(h)ine!!!
Today I feel up to doing a 2 mile walking workout. That's a start. After my workout I will jump in the shower, fix my hair and feel like a normal person again. The comfort eating shall cease.
This was just one lousy week and I have many weeks ahead that I will make great!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
I so appreciate the comments on my last blog. I was feeling so low, and it's nice to be able to come here, get it all out, and receive such encouragement.
I feel much better. In fact, I think I am going to get right back on the Zumba horse tonight, wearing a different attitude! That's what makes all the difference, and thanks to all you who helped me see that.
So what if I'm a sweaty mess in my baggy pants and tee-shirt! I'm a work in progress!!
So what if I goof up and lag behind. I did that the first few classes and was surprised and pleased at how quickly I got the hang of it.
This is for me and it's been so much fun up until I allowed my self doubt and poor self image to creep in.
I'm sure no one else in class is paying any attention to me at all and yet I've put myself under a microscope, comparing myself with others around me (all those cute young wigglemakers, lol).
Thanks again to all of you. Jules, you especially made me laugh out loud and feel so good because of it!
LOVE YOU ALL !!!!!!!!!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Sometimes I feel as though there are strong forces working against me. Every time I seem to be making positive strides, BAM!
I'm still not over my last sad story whereby I join Weight Watchers, lose 40 lbs., feel great and am only 13 lbs. from my goal weight...and then my sister is diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer and the floor drops out whereby I can't seem to handle it emotionally and during the following year I gain back a little more than half of what I lost. I lost my drive...I lost my strength... I lost the most precious thing, my sister.
I finally start to pick myself up (somewhat) a couple months after her passing last October. I found my smile again and got outside walking. I was still overeating and having difficulty getting back to moderation and sensible food choices. But I also discovered a new passion....Zumba! I loved it. I went 3 times a week and it was fun and challenging. The thing is, even with my regular walking and Zumba I have made no headway in reducing my weight. That really brings to light that my eating habits are totally out of control.
Now I have a new dilemma. Why does everything have to change???? Since the first week in January, our class size has more than doubled. That was expected because that's the time when most folks are motivated to do something to get fitter. My instructor started out the new year with several new songs and choreography. The problem with such a big class is that it's harder to see the instructor and follow the moves.
It hit me Tuesday night and then last night I actually was bummed out to the point of tears. At least 75% of the new people are 20 year-old, slim girls wearing their slinky, tight and adorable workout wear. Then there's me and a few others who are in baggy tee shirts and elastic waist sweat pants (with belly hanging out). The front wall is all mirrors. Between seeing these slim girts in front of me and my large image in the mirror, I was feeling horrible about myself.
Then there's the new music and routines. It's mostly pop tunes and hip-hop type with a few of the older routines thrown in. The movements are extremely fast and very high impact. It's not like the former latin steps that were easier to master. I not only find it harder to follow, but I find it hard to keep up. I go at my own pace, but it makes me feel like such a loser. All of a sudden, my self esteem is under attack. I know it's my own thinking that's the real culprit here, but it's hard not to think that way. I would never feel comfortable talking to my instructor about my feelings. It's a business for her, and of course she's going to cater to her market crowd, which is the twenty-somethings who are fitter and want to be challenged. I did feel a little better when one of the younger girls who I'd met in the beginning commented to me "Is it just me, or is it a lot harder now?" She's in her 20's but a bit overweight too. She had been going regularly a few months ago but hasn't been there in several weeks because her grandmother was sick and then passed away. She said she didn't think she got THAT out of shape while she was gone. I assured her that it definitely wasn't her...the new routines are harder, faster, more high impact.
I'm not quitting (yet). I still have 5 classes left on my punch card. Maybe I'll get better at it. I know it would be SO much easier if I could drop at least 20 lbs. I'd feel better about myself and be able to keep up because I wouldn't be lugging around all this extra weight. But after my 5 classes if I still feel the same, I've decided that once it's not fun anymore it's time to move on. I have the Zumba DVD set and maybe I'll do that instead.
I'm sad though that something I loved and enjoyed so much can go south so quickly. I know that the biggest part of the problem is my poor self image. I need to shed these pounds that are weighing me down in every way.
Thanks for listening with an understanding heart. I needed to get that off my chest.
.....end of rant.....
Now to ask myself the million dollar question: What are you going to do about this to make it better?
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Sometimes when I try to impose too many restrictions in order to drop pounds, it backfires and I give up completely.
I was inspired this morning by reading my friend MORERED's blog. She said she is "being strict with no unplanned snacking and no after dinner eating" and lost 2.5 lbs. I got to thinking that if I did nothing more than this, I know I would lose weight every single week. Even if it's 1 pound a week, I'd be happy as long as it was steady and consistent.
My meals are typically moderate and healthy. I exercise daily, anywhere from 1 hour to 2 1/2 hours. Snacking is the thing that does me in....especially at night.
Dr. Joel Fuhrman is an advocate of eating 3 balanced meals and no snacks. He makes a point that when you're constantly eating, you don't experience true hunger. I agree. From years of eating incessantly, I lost the connection to my body's signals of hunger and fullness. Cravings are what Dr. Fuhrman calls "toxic hunger". You have to go through a bit of uncomfortable withdrawal symptoms before you can eliminate toxic hunger and find your true hunger. And when this happens, you actually enjoy what you eat more.
I've also read that the liver is responsible for converting stored energy, in the form of fat, into energy you can use; but it's first job is getting rid of toxins and harmful substances from the blood. If you're constantly eating (especially on foods which are processed and loaded with chemicals), the liver never has any time to get rid of the fat because it's always churning away at the excess waste.
Food is food and there is controversy as to whether or not it makes any difference what time you eat as long as you stay within an acceptable calorie range. But a couple things come to mind..1) more often than not, if I'm eating at night I've already exceeded my calorie budget; 2) going to bed after eating means that instead of rejuvenating and restoring energy during sleep, the body has to use up energy to digest.
Makes perfect sense to me that the wise thing to do is stop eating after dinner.
That doesn't mean I won't allow myself to enjoy a yummy dessert now and then. It needs to be the exception rather than the rule and it needs to be planned for and enjoyed thoroughly without guilt.
My one and only goal for now is to master and maintain the habit of NO unplanned snacks. I know....easier said than done. But I do have some strategies.
What worked for me in the past to stave off night eating is a nice cup of green tea. It's hot so I have to sip it slowly. It's soothing and satisfies that comfort feeling I crave. Double win is that it's full of cancer-fighting antioxidants.
I'm going back to watching my hypnosis DVD by Glenn Harrold. His suggestions include ones that eliminate the desire to snack. When I was consistently watching this DVD a couple years ago, I found myself naturally not snacking.
Just say NO. Going back to the Beck Diet Solution, sometimes you just need to use your mind and stop acting on impulse. I need to remind myself that I can either eat whatever I want, whenever I want....OR I can be slim and healthy. I can't have both.
So simple, yet not always easy. However - do-able!
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