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HAPPYWALKER's Recent Blog Entries

Stop whining and DO something about it!

Sunday, January 03, 2010

Yeah, I'm talkin' to YOU!!!

That's just a little tough love from my cyber coach Jillian, LOL!

Today is officially emoticon and I'm very enthused and excited about changing my life by permanently changing my habits.

The day started out great with a healthy vegetable and fruit smoothie made with almond milk and a Tbs. of almond butter.

To show my commitment and that I'm really serious this time, I made my food and fitness trackers public.

I got my copy of The Spark a few days ago and today I'll start Chapter 1. In 2007 I lost 30 lbs. in 4 months and another 8 lbs. 3 more months by using all of the tools at SparkPeople. This year my goal is to lose 50 lbs. in 12 months.


So no more talk of plans and goals. Each week I will write about what I've accomplished and my results.

Here I go................

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FIT-MAMA 1/10/2010 10:07PM

    Maybe I need you to kick MY butt!! Just the quit wallowing message I need to hear tonight. I've been mostly whining and not much doing.

Good luck with your goals...you certainly seem to have the right attitude!

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WILD4STARS 1/7/2010 2:53PM

    emoticonWay to start the new year !!

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MORERED 1/6/2010 10:24PM

    HI Mary,
I'll be cheering you on every step of the way....here's to 2010 being your year to reach your goals!!!


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SUNNY2DAY2 1/4/2010 7:01AM

    emoticon Keep moving and you'll reach your goals emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DEBC1232 1/3/2010 9:02PM

    Mary, Keep up the good work. I'll be anxious to see you really meet your goals this year.

Deb emoticon

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MAZZYR 1/3/2010 10:31AM

    Yesssssss!! YOU CAN!!

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GEEKYGURL 1/3/2010 9:42AM

    I tell myself the same thing all the time. "Do Something About It!" Thanks for sharing your story / inspiration and good luck with your goals :)

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    Congratulations on continuing your journey and giving yourself that kick-in-the-butt we all sometimes need!

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MGAYLE 1/3/2010 9:37AM

    Thanks for sharing this inspiring message. You have the right attitude and tools to make it happen! You ARE doing something about it!
Dr. G

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Welcome 2010 and new beginnings

Friday, January 01, 2010

Today started out really well and I'm feeling optimistic and good on this New Years Day. I have a feeling that this could be my year to reach my goals. It's 99% mental and this day I have the right outlook and strategies planned.

I used to make a list of resolutions every December 31, but I stopped doing that several years ago when I realized I had the exact same ones year after year.

This year I am going to deal with one day, one moment at a time. The night before I will list what I want to accomplish the next day and plan out my meals. I have always had the most success with staying within my calorie budget when I planned it out ahead of time.

I'm not looking back at past mistakes. The past does not determine the future. It doesn't matter how many times I've tried and failed. The moment to rise up and achieve is now.

Here's to a great year ahead and the start of a new journey of health, fitness, and peace within.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MORERED 1/1/2010 5:25PM

Best wishes for a FABULOUS 2010!!!


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MAZZYR 1/1/2010 12:57PM

    Here's to my friend, Mary, in 2010. You CAN!

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WILD4STARS 1/1/2010 10:54AM

    I have a feeling this is your year!

(`v) and StarDust
.`.. ..) .*)
(. (. . .Vikki

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Reflections on 2009 and looking toward 2010

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Year 2009 was somewhat uneventful and yet I feel as though Ive made great progress internally. I didnt succeed in losing weight. In fact, I started out the year on January 4 at 195.6 and ended it on December 27 at 208.8. I had reached 200lbs. on January 25 and never got below it since. I mostly bounced back and forth between 202 and 209 the entire year. But I never gave up. I was constantly picking myself back up and re-committing. Reflecting back, I think it was a year that I had to do some inner work and introspection before I could succeed at changing my outer reflection.

Ive come to realize that my weight isnt the issue at all. Its the parts of my life that have been unsatisfying that lead me to behave in a way that caused me to overeat and gain weight. If I dont get to the root of whats missing in my life, I will continue sabotaging my efforts. Im coming closer and closer to knowing what that missing link is.

Although I was never okay with my body carrying 200+ pounds on my 56 medium frame, I have become satisfied with myself as a spiritual being. Thats something that has evolved over many years and during 2009 I truly came to know my inner self and I became content with who I am. I began to be more nurturing and wanting to explore just what truly gives me joy and inner satisfaction.

What I discovered is that the thing that is most important to me and is the indicator of how well I am lined up with my purpose and my truth can be summed up in one word: PEACE. Peace in all areas of my life. PEACE = simplicity, joyfulness, balance, and moderation in all things.

The main motivating factor for my quest to achieve a healthy body weight is peace. The peace that comes from having the energy to do the things my mind and soul want to do. The peace that comes with knowing that I am taking the best possible care of my body to prevent illness and physical pain. The peace that comes from feeling content with myself enough to rise above the actions and words of others that might otherwise tend to be hurtful.

I am working towards a peaceful indifference to food, meaning that food is not the main focus and centerpiece of my life. Food is fuel and food is also a source of pleasure; however, excess fuel and excess pleasure are never a good thing. Theres a spa in Skaneateles called Mirbeau that I love to go to. The waiting area for massages/treatments is a little bit of heaven on earth with a warm wading pool, recliners to relax in, a warm glow in the fireplace, soft lighting and melodic soft music. I also truly enjoy the dining experience there. The dcor inside the dining room as well as the view outside the windows is extremely beautiful and serene.

Their meal presentations are as appetizing to the eye as they are pleasing to the taste buds. The one important significance is that the portions are extremely moderate. High in quality while low in quantity. Less is more.

Eating a moderate meal which pleases all senses of sight, smell, and taste; while eating it slowly enough to appreciate the flavor, is the ultimate in dining pleasure and yet it leads to temperance and not overindulgence. My goal is to duplicate the same feel and atmosphere into my own home and prepare my meals in the same spa-like manner.

Another component of peace is letting go.

Letting go of the past. Letting go of disappointments and hurts, thereby allowing forgiveness. Being okay with whatever is happening at this moment. Accepting every person unconditionally, just as they are. Accepting unchangeable situations exactly as they are and moving beyond the circumstances. The Serenity Prayer is one of the wisest pieces ever written.

Peaceful acceptance is a challenge and doesnt come easy but the rewards are so great that its something I am striving to be constantly aware of and work towards moment to moment.

Another thing I learned over the year is that actions speak louder than words. A lot of my blogs earlier in the year contained all these details about what I was going to do and why I was going to do it. It all sounded great on paper. The problem being that I was spending a lot of time planning and writing about my plans and not enough time executing them. I realize that its more important to do something rather than to talk about it. The proof is in the pudding so to speak, and Id rather show the results than talk about how Im going to get there sometime in the future.

Ive also learned that its better to listen and to feel and be reflective than it is to talk about myself and my so-called troubles and challenges. Dwelling on something almost always makes it bigger. Focusing on others makes my own problems fade away in the distance. Most times, while being supportive to someone else, a lot of it sprinkles back on me. I learn more about how to deal with my own issues from being present and helping someone else than when I try to figure out my own solutions in my mind. Im too close to the subject to be of any use to myself. But when I reach out to another, the wisdom and blessings come back to methe proverbial light bulb moment. Its then when I am communicating from the vastness within rather than from the limited knowledge of the mind. I love that I have realized this and have been able to practice it more and more.

So looking back, I do believe I have made great strides and progress throughout 2009. Id like to think Im ready to commit and make the permanent lifestyle changes that will bring me to my weight goal by the end of the year. I have the desire and feel like Im there, but only time will tell.

My mantra for 2010 is PEACE. Peace will always be in the forefront of my mind and it will be the deciding factor in all my decisions: will this choice bring me peace or will it push me away from peace? Thats all I need to know. As long as I am moving in the rhythm of peace, my life will flow as it should and I will feel a tranquility that exceeds any fleeting happiness that comes from the physical and the material.

Wishing you all a happy, healthy, prosperous and peaceful new year 2010.

The link below is to a YouTube video that I watch and listen to at least once every day. It makes me feel wonderful and warm inside and inspires me to live a healthy and peaceful life.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAZZYR 12/28/2009 4:59AM

Here's to 2010, PEACE and spa like meals!


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WILD4STARS 12/28/2009 4:27AM

    Great blog. Wonderful video full of powerful affirmations. You've come a long way in 2009. I look forward to being a witness to your progress in 2010. Such a great path you are on.

SparkHugs & StarDust,

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The cookie monster has reared it's ugly head again

Monday, December 07, 2009

Here it is....last weekend I decided to be organized and I started making lists of what I need to do in the next 3 weeks and what I need to buy.

On the list I wrote "bake cookies" and then proceeded to list about 10 different kinds and all the ingredients I need to get. Baking lots of different Christmas cookies and arranging them on lovely platters to give away has long been a tradition of mine.

This morning I had a huge change of heart. It's actually an on-going battle within.

Do I REALLY want to bake all these cookies when I am NOT in a good place as far as the ability to limit myself? Wouldn't my time to make them all and the money for ingredients be better spent on something else? Am I really doing everyone else a favor by giving them all these cookies?

I've recently been reading 3 books that are changing my mind about food: "Eat This and Live!" by Don Colbert, MD; "Ultra-Longevity" by Mark Liponis, MD; and "The Food Revolution" by John Robins (son of Irv Robbins and nephew of Burt Baskin). Excellent reading to wake up to the realities of the effects of food on our health and longevity. And, of course, I read and re-read "Eat to Live" and "Eat for Health" by Joel Fuhrman, MD. I can't plead ignorance anymore!

But, back to the cookies....

I thought long and hard and knew that as much as I really, really wanted to bake these cookies I knew that I would not be able to limit myself. I've proven that over and over and over.

I spoke to DH this morning and he agreed 100% with me that neither of us nor our friends and family need to have all those cookies. And I'd be kidding myself if I thought I could handle it this time.

So as much as I will want to carry on the tradition and resist making the positive changes that are often hard to make...

...I know that I can and will overcome the temptation to fall back into old patterns that have over the past years led me to obesity and terrible unhappiness.

I'll be counting on my friends here to help me stay strong with my decision to forgo the baking and my convictions for healthy eating every day of the year.

I know that even cookie monsters can change!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VON_1962 12/10/2009 6:41AM

    Love your blog! You are right what good are we doing for our friends and family if we are feeding them cookies! Thanks for the encouraging words. Happy holidays!

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VEEJAY3 12/7/2009 8:39PM

    See how much support there is here for your decision? I love it. I also love the ideas here (the gingerbread house is a GOLDEN idea!).

I host a huge (60 women) cookie exchange every year with a friend, and there's no getting out of that one, but you know what I've done for the past two years? I host the party, but I don't make any cookies. Therefore, I don't take any home with me. I know: brilliant! I'm like you -- knew I couldn't really trust myself. So just didn't do it.


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MAZZYR 12/7/2009 7:36PM

    Oh Mary I'm so happy you decided not to let the cookie monster torture you!

I used to bake gingerbread cookies because I loved the smell, but it was easy to eat just one because I wasn't a fan of gingerbread. LOL.


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TERJEGOLD 12/7/2009 7:26PM

    Awesome! And the photos are priceless!

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NIGHTHWAK 12/7/2009 6:52PM


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OUTLIVING 12/7/2009 4:53PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

emoticon emoticon emoticon

i'm not baking either, for the same reasons. this is the 3rd year and I still feel like I am not strong enough, and... I would eat them. All. Frozen cookies even call my name, so just can't do it this year.

Now, there are other new traditions we are doing instead. We are going out to look at lights and caroling. We are making non-edible ginger bread houses with the nephews and then shopping with them for an Angel tree gift.

I hope you find joy, peace & love in your new traditions, your new life and as you nourish yourself with nutritious foods :)

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DEBC1232 12/7/2009 4:49PM


I think you made a wise choice! You are also right that your friends and family really don't need those cookies either. Since part of the joy of giving cookies is that it is something that you took time and love to prepare-so perhaps you could do something else instead, something without major calories. One of my friends makes really nice hand make cards, which I always look forward to each year. This year, everyone on my list is getting a beautiful jar of honey lovingly extracted by me.

Personally, I know that I would be capable of making something such as a cake and staying out of it if it's for a special occasion (hard to hide that large missing chunk). Cookies however, well to be honest it's way to easy to have a cookie here, a cookie there and before you know it I'm making more cookies because I ate too many to now share. emoticon

Keep up the good work, knowing your limits is a big step in the right direction. BTW I love your cookie monster pics!

Deb emoticon

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HEALTHY4ME 12/7/2009 12:56PM

    Impresssive as I turn off the puter to start baking! LOL
I am only making 3 kinds and that is all. Have 2 made and they are in the freezer. I hope I do well as the scale isnt budging but thinking could have something to do with all the weights I am doing at physio. and not a ton of cardio.
Talk to you later

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WILD4STARS 12/7/2009 12:22PM

    emoticonGood for you !! emoticon

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Perception is reality

Friday, December 04, 2009

The holidays are once again upon us. I've struggled with holiday blues almost every single year for the last 20 or so years. It's not a happy time for me like is often depicted in the movies. It's a time when I find it especially hard to resist all the baked goods and extra food. Not only because food is more plentiful during this time, but I also feel more negative emotions (tension, stress, sadness, and melancholy) which trigger emotional eating.

I mostly find myself going through the motions and feeling quite relieved when January 1 arrives. I said to myself this morning, "Just 4 more weeks and it's over." Then I realized that's no way to live. I want to embrace every day and feel happy no matter what the circumstance.

Not that it's an easy thing to do, but by changing my perception and attitude regarding the holiday season I can feel serene and even joyful during this time. It's entirely up to me. I can think about those things I lack or I can dwell upon the positive things in my life that I have to be grateful for. I can choose to see sadness, grief, and dreary days ahead or I can look at every day as a miracle and see with the eyes of a child all the simple things in life as wonderous, exciting miracles.

The same goes for my goal of weight loss. I can approach it with an attitude of difficulty, drudgery, deprivation and hardship. Or I can get up each day with a sense of pride and exhilaration that each day that goes by I am moving towards feeling better physically and emotionally. I can want to only put life sustaining foods in my body. There's a big difference between abstaining through sheer willpower versus not having the slightest desire to partake in foods that harm my body. I can look forward to how my body responds to exercise and gets fitter as the days and weeks go by.

Wayne Dyer says, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change".

What do you choose to see?

Old woman or young lady:

Old man and old woman or young man serenading young woman:

Woman looking into a vanity mirror, or a skull:

They're all there. It's how we choose to see things that counts.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OUTLIVING 12/5/2009 4:26PM

    So very true!

sometimes I think it feels awkward and impossible when we conciously choose a different viewpoint. Reversing a negative can take awhile b4 the new outlook is even accepted internally, let alone begins to feel natural.

i have been working on this specifically with holiday foods since 2006 and crashed the last 3 years, but am trying again. It's not that I'm giving up/deprived of anything but looking for new & healthy traditions.

:::repeats ad nauseum to self:::


i'm so glad we are cyber bffs & have SP to help us :)

Comment edited on: 12/5/2009 4:28:55 PM

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WILD4STARS 12/5/2009 6:26AM

    I love Wayne Dyer and quote him often. He wrote a book many years ago called, "No More Holiday Blues, Uplifting Advice for Recapturing the True Spirit of Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Year's." I'm sure it's no longer in print, but I bet you could find a used copy on-line somewhere. He has such a great way of lifting my spirit when I need it. Maybe it could help you get through these next few weeks.

There's so much pressure at the holidays to do everything, go everywhere, buy "stuff" and do it all with a smile. I think it can be a very stressful time of year for most people. But you are doing so much better with everything, I predict you're going to do just fine and come January 2, you're going to look back and be pretty proud of how you handled it all.

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MAZZYR 12/5/2009 12:41AM

    So true... perception is reality!

I remember the expression... name the name, play the game. LOL, I always need to adjust the channel on my thinking... sometimes minute to minute. Oh, well.

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TERJEGOLD 12/4/2009 10:30PM

    Love the photos. And I can relate to your feelings concerning the holidays. I always dread the holidays because I just can't do them like people want me to and I end up feeling like a failure. Great message for me to take to heart.

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