Perception is reality

Friday, December 04, 2009

The holidays are once again upon us. I've struggled with holiday blues almost every single year for the last 20 or so years. It's not a happy time for me like is often depicted in the movies. It's a time when I find it especially hard to resist all the baked goods and extra food. Not only because food is more plentiful during this time, but I also feel more negative emotions (tension, stress, sadness, and melancholy) which trigger emotional eating.

I mostly find myself going through the motions and feeling quite relieved when January 1 arrives. I said to myself this morning, "Just 4 more weeks and it's over." Then I realized that's no way to live. I want to embrace every day and feel happy no matter what the circumstance.

Not that it's an easy thing to do, but by changing my perception and attitude regarding the holiday season I can feel serene and even joyful during this time. It's entirely up to me. I can think about those things I lack or I can dwell upon the positive things in my life that I have to be grateful for. I can choose to see sadness, grief, and dreary days ahead or I can look at every day as a miracle and see with the eyes of a child all the simple things in life as wonderous, exciting miracles.

The same goes for my goal of weight loss. I can approach it with an attitude of difficulty, drudgery, deprivation and hardship. Or I can get up each day with a sense of pride and exhilaration that each day that goes by I am moving towards feeling better physically and emotionally. I can want to only put life sustaining foods in my body. There's a big difference between abstaining through sheer willpower versus not having the slightest desire to partake in foods that harm my body. I can look forward to how my body responds to exercise and gets fitter as the days and weeks go by.

Wayne Dyer says, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change".

What do you choose to see?

Old woman or young lady:


Old man and old woman or young man serenading young woman:


Woman looking into a vanity mirror, or a skull:


They're all there. It's how we choose to see things that counts.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OUTLIVING 12/5/2009 4:26PM

So very true! sometimes I think it feels awkward and impossible when we conciously choose a different viewpoint. Reversing a negative can take awhile b4 the new outlook is even accepted internally, let alone begins to feel natural. i have been working on this specifically with holiday foods since 2006 and crashed the last 3 years, but am trying again. It's not that I'm giving up/deprived of anything but looking for new & healthy traditions. :::repeats ad nauseum to self::: {{{big*squi*shy*hugs }}} i'm so glad we are cyber bffs & have SP to help us :) Comment edited on: 12/5/2009 4:28:55 PM Report Inappropriate Comment

WILD4STARS 12/5/2009 6:26AM

I love Wayne Dyer and quote him often. He wrote a book many years ago called, "No More Holiday Blues, Uplifting Advice for Recapturing the True Spirit of Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Year's." I'm sure it's no longer in print, but I bet you could find a used copy on-line somewhere. He has such a great way of lifting my spirit when I need it. Maybe it could help you get through these next few weeks. There's so much pressure at the holidays to do everything, go everywhere, buy "stuff" and do it all with a smile. I think it can be a very stressful time of year for most people. But you are doing so much better with everything, I predict you're going to do just fine and come January 2, you're going to look back and be pretty proud of how you handled it all. Report Inappropriate Comment

MAZZYR 12/5/2009 12:41AM

So true... perception is reality! I remember the expression... name the name, play the game. LOL, I always need to adjust the channel on my thinking... sometimes minute to minute. Oh, well. Report Inappropriate Comment

TERJEGOLD 12/4/2009 10:30PM

Love the photos. And I can relate to your feelings concerning the holidays. I always dread the holidays because I just can't do them like people want me to and I end up feeling like a failure. Great message for me to take to heart. Report Inappropriate Comment

Glad my surgery is over, but comforted myself with food

Thursday, November 19, 2009

I had a lot of anxiety the night before and morning of my surgery. Mainly because I wasn't sure what to expect.

It went pretty well. Removing the tissue seemed to take only about 5 minutes, but the suturing took at least 15-20. He did a lot of stitching in the inner layer with dissolvable stitches. I thought he was all finished and then he announced he was going to now do the top stitches. He did a lot of stitches close together in order to minimize the scarring. I get them removed next Wednesday.

I was all done and leaving the office at 12:30 pm and the first thing I thought about was lunch. DH and I went to a favorite restaurant that never disappoints. We both got the fried haddock and macaroni & cheese. Talk about comfort food! The fish was fresh and it was crispy and delicious outside -even the tartar sauce was very yummy. Mac n' cheese is my ultimate indulgence and it was very creamy and tasty.

When I got home, for "dessert" I polished off the last 5 mini Snickers & Milky Way bars left over from Halloween. At least they're all gone now.

Still rivers run deep, and I spent a lifetime of my Mom showing love and comfort with her gift of cooking fabulous meals and decadent treats. It's one habit that is most difficult for me to shake. I eat to comfort my feelings and as a reward for getting through something difficult.

Now I'm in the healing stages and that goes for my food addictions too. I'm back to the mindset of healing my inner self as well as my physical body with nourishing, life-giving foods.

I feel good and thankful for my health. I will do my part to keep it that way. All is well.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAZZYR 11/21/2009 1:20PM

Oh Mary, I'm so glad the surgery is behind you. Extra hugs, Mazzy Report Inappropriate Comment

OUTLIVING 11/20/2009 9:50PM

{{{Mary}}} i'm so glad the surgery went well! & I totally get the food=comfort after stressful events! When we were kidlets, mumsie always took us for ice cream after we went to the dentist. I talked to her about it one day, and that's what her mumsie did with her & auntie. I love (snagged) the pics ~ i think looking at foods that nourish us helps. Right now, with so many of my favorite holiday foods around it's harder, so i'm trying to focus on the special winter seasonal foods... and I'm not baking the traditionals this year. I know I would devour them. Maybe next year I'll be better able to try it again :) Heal well :) jules Report Inappropriate Comment

TERJEGOLD 11/20/2009 8:33PM

Food does heal and, when recovering physically, a short indulgence is no big deal. But I did say "short". Now start using that mind of yours to heal and talk to yourself about all of the healthy foods you love, connecting those to warm memories. Take care!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

HEALTHY4ME 11/19/2009 7:57PM

Been thinking of you Mary and if thats all the comforting by food you did then you did well. You realize the whys and the wherefores and now you are back on track. I am glad things went well and you are doing well. Take care and you can do it. cya Report Inappropriate Comment

DEBC1232 11/19/2009 11:55AM

Mary, I'm so glad that your surgery went well. I wouldn't worry too much about a one day indulgence, as long as it doesn't become a daily thing. Keep up the forward momentum! Deb Report Inappropriate Comment

Creating a new normal for myself during the holidays

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Holiday time is upon us, and it's typically one filled with mixed emotions for me. It stirs up feelings of sadness and grief for my parents who have passed on, and also brings up feelings of emptiness and lack because it wasn't in the cards for me to have children of my own. Then there's the stress of shopping in crowded places, finding the right gifts, and spending money on a retirement budget.

My pattern has been to turn to food for comfort, which isn't hard to do because Thanksgiving and Christmas are holidays very much centered around food...more socializing, large banquet-type meals, pies and fancy cookies. My average gain during November and December has in the past been as much as 5-8 pounds.

So I thought about going into this year's holiday season and how I can make this one different.

The first thing that comes to mind is portion control and moderation. ..


remembering beforehand that those second helpings make me feel bloated and sick...


The best strategy is to just take a taste of the fat-laden side dishes while filling the majority of my plate with more healthier fare...


(sometimes the fresh juicy apple IS just as delicious as the apple pie with the crust made with lard)


It's important to plan ahead to make healthy dishes available and budget calories wisely...don't just leave it to chance and hope I don't gain.


But If I don't do perfectly, don't throw in the towel and give myself an excuse to keep on overeating. It's just one meal, or one day, I can get back on track at any moment.


Holidays are meant to be enjoyed so allow yourself some special treats...this is not the time to swear off all desserts and go cold turkey.


Also most important is making sure I exercise daily no matter how busy the day gets...



And drink lots of water to fill me up and flush out toxins


Don't put attention and focus on food; instead put it on connecting with family and on gratitude for all the blessings that I have.


Take time to breathe and meditate and keep my peace throughout the season...


Enjoy and take notice of the miracle of nature..

Keep my attitude positive...


And, at all times, keep my eye on the prize....Do I want to eat extra food and lots of goodies....or do I want this:

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAZZYR 11/21/2009 1:25PM

Great blog! I'm catching up... reading your blogs are on my priority list. Report Inappropriate Comment

LOSTANDBACK 11/16/2009 10:39AM

Oh I loved this. I plan on having a little of the things I want instead of taking everything. Report Inappropriate Comment

WILD4STARS 11/15/2009 5:55PM

What a great blog! Something for everyone. I was arguing with myself about having a BIG glass of red wine, read this blog and decided I could have SMALL glass of red wine. Instead of denying myself, I could indulge without going overboard. Thanks for this post. You are doing so well AND helping the rest of us too. Sometimes it's in the helping of others that we most help ourselves. Happy Sunday and Happy Sparking, Vikki Report Inappropriate Comment

HEALTHY4ME 11/15/2009 4:52PM

OH MARY!!!! you are doing so well. I am so very happy for you. Loved your pics at the end. I too want that and to not have pain in my back and foot. Right now I am so sore, my back is starting up again after being good most weekend, and my foot is really sore. I have to buy new shoes soon!!! Well keep on keeping on as you are doing super. hugs Report Inappropriate Comment

Feeling humbled

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Yesterday I watched the Oprah show and she had on a woman who was attacked by a 200 pound monkey. The monkey was a pet who belonged to her friend /employer, and she said she had always feared him. Yet, when her friend called her to ask for help when he got out of his cage, this woman got into her car and drove over without the slightest hesitation.

It's miraculous that she survived the attack and a blessing that she has no memory of it. She will never see again, and she wears a hat with a scarf attached to cover her face because she "doesn't want to scare anyone". She is missing all her fingers, except that they were able to re-attach her right thumb.

As I watched this beautiful spirit, tears streamed down my face. How does someone who experiences something like that go on, let alone have such a great attitude about life? Never once did she complain or blame or feel sorry for herself. Here I was, feeling bad that I have to have surgery on the side of my face that may leave a one inch scar. She put things into perspective for me. Hearing her story and seeing her courage has helped me to not fear my surgery next week.

My husband and I talked about it this morning as we sat at the kitchen table. Seeing her had touched both of us and we became extremely grateful for all that we have.

So many people endure such horrendous things and I marvel at their strength. There is a contestant on The Biggest Loser who had lost her husband (who she refers to as the love of her life), her 5 year old daughter, and her baby boy who was only 2 and 1/2 weeks old. They were all killed in a horrific car crash. I can't even wrap my mind around that kind of grief. Her whole family wiped out in an instant, and yet she is so full of faith and hope and simply beautiful inside.

Knowing there are many people in the world who have suffered unimaginable tragedies and come through it with such grace makes me realize even more that the outer layer of our being is not important. Who we are is that spirit inside that knows no limits and has no vanity...just pure unconditional love.

While it's good to work on the outer me, I want more than ever to work on the inner me. To stay ever-mindful of what's really important in life. To keep my peace and show my love even when things seem difficult....allowing my beauty to come from within and shine outward towards everyone I come in contact with. That is my desire, and that is my daily prayer.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAZZYR 11/21/2009 1:30PM

Oh Mary, I saw this show and had the same reaction. Remembering to be grateful is my gift to myself each day. Report Inappropriate Comment

FRENCHTOSD 11/13/2009 12:24AM

It's so easy for us to forget gratitude. Thanks for the reminder. Report Inappropriate Comment

WILD4STARS 11/12/2009 1:19PM

Beautiful Blog. Thank you for being such an inspiration. Vikki Report Inappropriate Comment

LOSTANDBACK 11/12/2009 12:50PM

I really like this blog just today I was thinking the same thing taking a look at the world with your heart instead of your head would make your life so much easier for everyone and if you helped one person do the same thing maybe this world would become a better place. Report Inappropriate Comment

I'm doing Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!

Sunday, November 08, 2009

What a polar opposite to how I felt just 4 weeks ago! Back in control of eating, logging in my calories, exercising every day, and starting to feel like I'm back in it. I've only lost 5.6 lbs. since 10-11, but the other benefits are priceless.

I LOVE my Polar F6 heart monitor. Now I can accurately assess how many calories I'm burning as well as how many I am taking in. I did a 2 mile WATP and burned 167 calories last Wednesday. Thursday I did a 3 mile WATP and burned 242 calories. Skipped Friday but did a 51 min. outdoor walk Saturday and burned 336 calories. Today's walk was 52 min. and I burned 317 calories.

I'm re-discovering the joy of fresh fruit and vegetables and cooking healthy entrees. I'm enjoying the good feeling of watching tv in the evening with a comfortably satisfied feeling in my stomach with no need or desire to raid the fridge.

I have an overwhelming desire to take care of myself in all areas of my life. I have sufferred Seasonal Affective Disorder for several years now and just muddled through it while going through terrible bouts of depression during the winter and early spring. I know 100% that I have it because when the sun is shining, even on a cold winter's day, I feel upbeat and energetic and ready to seize the day. On those dark, damp, dreary gray days, all I want to do is curl up on the couch and not face the world. Even in the summer I get depressed when we get too many cloudy days in a row. I decided to stop just getting by and try a light box. They're quite expensive, but Dr. Fuhrman just advertised one on sale and I'm going to bite the bullet and get it.


All I have to do is set it up on my computer desk and keep it on for 30 minutes while I'm on the computer. If it doesn't work, at least I tried something to take control. And, best case scenario, it might make a big difference in the way I feel. One reason to conquer this ailment is that I generally tend to eat more and slack off on exercise when I'm feeling down. But the best reason is that I deserve to feel good each and every day. I have the right to get up each morning no matter what the circumstance of the day and look forward to each moment of precious life.

I want to do everything and anything to start feeling good about me.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAZZYR 11/21/2009 1:35PM

Grrrrrreat! Have you noticed a difference using the light? Report Inappropriate Comment

OUTLIVING 11/11/2009 8:17PM

i'm looking into vitamin D for same reasons... might check that out too :) Report Inappropriate Comment

DEBC1232 11/9/2009 9:34AM

Mary, Good for you and I'm glad that the heart monitor is working for you. I really hope the light box works for you! I don't think I could handle all those gray and dark days that you get there. Keep up the good work. Deb Report Inappropriate Comment

WILD4STARS 11/8/2009 1:35PM

Good for you. You've really gotten on the right path, and sounds like your have great plans for staying there. You are an inspiration. Report Inappropriate Comment

HEALTHY4ME 11/8/2009 12:07PM

Hey MARY Grrreeeat going!! I am so glad for you. I am not losing like you are, probaby cos my exercise isnt arobic other than 30 mins on bike and some of the wii ones. I will get there, even if it is spring when the ice is gone. I am still doing all the physio and they are very pro active, physio, rehab, chiro, massage, back and neck class. I spend so much time over there but hey think of it as going to the gym and i am fine. But sure is hard to fit it in and the work time too. Oh well for now it is starting habit. I have started using the wii more and eating better. Vitamin D has also shown great improvements for SAD and deprssion. I take the lower dose and it does seem to help. Take care and continue on!!! cya Report Inappropriate Comment