Thursday, May 23, 2013
and i ran farther this time than i have so far, which isn't much, but hey, it's more than i was doing!
the Lord is making me stronger.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
I've had enough of this mess.
I'm going for my walk/run toward the "monks".
Today, I'm going to attempt a 5K.
Monday, May 20, 2013
I couldn't leave for the hospital until I wrote and posted this...
So much has happened since I came here.
I've met so many wonderful Sparkies, and am beginning to truly care about many of them who have come alongside me during this difficult beginning.
I am already seeing so many amazing changes in my life, even though there is tremendous stress as well.
I have lost right at 10 pounds, and 7.5 inches overall...2.5 in my waist and 1.5 in my hips...just by walking three days per week, most weeks, and tracking my food....with a LOT of support and encouragement from my Sparkies.
I'm coming out of my shell, and feeling, for the first time in decades, as though I can actually do this...that I really do have something to offer to this world. I haven't felt this way since I was in my 20s or early 30s and I am in my 50s now. That is what battling with weight issues and social phobia will do to a person if she just gives in to it and lets it win.
I am now learning to take each day as it comes. And I am so grateful for the crisis that came two days ago and that shook my world to the core. Today is new day. Yesterday is gone...forever in God's keeping...and I know that He will judge it fairly and with mercy some day. Therefore, I will not look back on any of my yesterdays. I will take each day as they come, thanking God for them, and living each one to the best of my ability for His glory. And when that day is over, I will give it into His hands for safe keeping until I see Him face-to-face.
ok...NOW i'm gone.
Monday, May 20, 2013
My dear Sparkies are reminding me to be sure to take care of me during this time of crisis.
I'm not sure I know how to take care of me, but I went out for my walk yesterday before I went to the hospital and I walked 2.8 miles instead of only 2.5. And I added some jogging interval to it as well to strengthen my whole body. (PHYSICAL)
My walking time is also the time that I "read" the Bible. I actually listen to it on my phone with an app called Daily Audio Bible (with Brian Hardin). (SPIRITUAL)
I called my dance teacher, who is also my greatest encourager here where I live, and she said something that was exactly the words I needed to hear right now. I also made other phone calls and I reached out to you as well. (SOUL - social)
I also tracked my nutrition and fitness here. I ate 3 veggies yesterday and a fruit when I really wanted to eat junk. My lunch wasn't all that great, though. I ended up getting a chalupa and taco at Taco Bell, but I figured it MIGHT be better than some of the other choices near the hospital. All in all, I ended up not eating enough calories yesterday. I'm supposed to eat between 1200-1550. I ate 963. Oh, well. I'll do better today. He's supposed to come home today. I don't really know if I can count this as NUTRITIONAL or not, seeing as how I succeeded in the veggies and fruit when I wanted to eat junk, and I tracked the stuff, but I failed to eat enough.
Oh, well, I'm sticking as close to my plan as possible in spite of this curve ball.
Maybe this how I take care of myself.
It just feels like I'm numb. I feel like I'm just putting one foot in front of the other and breathing. And this routine of SPIRITUAL-PHYSICAL-NUTRITIONAL-SOUL is the only thing keeping me going.
I am now going to add another category to my plan each day. It actually falls under the SOUL category, but I am going to add it as its own separate category. Now it will be:
This plan should definitely cover everything I need to take care of me.
I fell asleep on the sofa around 9:30 last night, sitting up with my laptop on my lap, logging my food for yesterday. I was just so tired after the day at the hospital that I came home, put the dogs to bed, sat down to log my fitness, food, and weight, but only got as far as fitness, and most of my food, before I crashed. I woke up in the same position with my laptop still open. I don't feel as though I have slept at all.
Time for a shower and to drive to the hospital.
I hope for a nap when we return. Please pray that he will follow doctor's orders!
Oh, BTW...he talked to the man he was going to interview with today for the job. He said he's willing to hold the job for one week to see what the doctor has to say before he looks elsewhere. I'm really praying that he can keep this job, but God knows best. He'll provide what we need.
OK, I'm out of here.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
I wrote this blog originally last night when I came home from the hospital and everything was very fresh on my mind.
I shouldn't have.
I was too emotional and wasn't thinking clearly when I wrote it.
I didn't consider the fact that other people out there might have been through the same thing and it may have not turned out so well.
Therefore, I am re-writing this sans details.
I just want to say that my husband did, in fact, have a heart attack.
When I found him and got him to the hospital, I began to pray Psalm 91. I like The Message version of it...
You who sit down in the High God’s presence,
spend the night in Shaddai’s shadow,
Say this: “God, you’re my refuge.
I trust in you and I’m safe!”
That’s right—he rescues you from hidden traps,
shields you from deadly hazards.
His huge outstretched arms protect you—
under them you’re perfectly safe;
his arms fend off all harm.
Fear nothing—not wild wolves in the night,
not flying arrows in the day,
Not disease that prowls through the darkness,
not disaster that erupts at high noon.
Even though others succumb all around,
drop like flies right and left,
no harm will even graze you.
You’ll stand untouched, watch it all from a distance,
watch the wicked turn into corpses.
Yes, because God’s your refuge,
the High God your very own home,
Evil can’t get close to you,
harm can’t get through the door.
He ordered his angels
to guard you wherever you go.
If you stumble, they’ll catch you;
their job is to keep you from falling.
You’ll walk unharmed among lions and snakes,
and kick young lions and serpents from the path.
14-16 “If you’ll hold on to me for dear life,” says God,
“I’ll get you out of any trouble.
I’ll give you the best of care
if you’ll only get to know and trust me.
Call me and I’ll answer, be at your side in bad times;
I’ll rescue you, then throw you a party.
I’ll give you a long life,
give you a long drink of salvation!”
He is in ICU now, and barring any complications, will be moved to a regular room today. On Monday, he should come home. There was absolutely no damage at all to his heart muscle. The Lord kept his promise from the Psalm and heart disease didn't do one bit of harm to my husband's heart muscle.
The doctor told me, when they came out of the procedure, that this shouldn't interfere with his work at all as long as he doesn't have any further chest pains.
I am counting on God to keep His promise from Psalm 91, to protect us from this disaster that began to erupt around noon yesterday. This heart attack came just as we were able to see light at the end of the tunnel. But God is faithful and I am counting on Him.
I'm also thankful for Psalm 23 in times like this because when I start to get upset or worried, I get still and quiet and just meditate on this Psalm. Then peace comes to take its rightful place, and I am reminded once again that there is no reason to fear anything. I am reminded just how much the Lord loves us and cares about us.
The Lord is my shepherd;
there is nothing I lack.
He lets me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
He renews my life;
He leads me along the right paths
for His name’s sake.
Even when I go through the darkest valley,
I fear no danger,
for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff—they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Only goodness and faithful love will pursue me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
as long as I live.
This is how I get through times like these since I have no family near me and I have gone through most crises and births of my children alone, thanks to the military life.
Ok...this has gone on long enough.
I cannot believe how supportive the SP community is.
I hope I can learn to be as supportive of you as you are of me. I don't want to be just a "taker" and not a "giver" as well.
Thank you once again, Sparkies. You are awesome!!!
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