HAPPYDOES   14,471
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HAPPYDOES's Recent Blog Entries

After a Rough Start: Living Up to My Name

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

It's been a rough start here at SP.
I apologize because I feel as though when people see my page and then read my blog, they may feel as if they've been duped.

However, I chose my screen name for a reason and that reason is because I do have many problems to overcome. My names helps me to remember that Happy is as Happy does.

My name and the party balloons help me to keep moving forward, to not close up, shut down, run away, or live in denial. Instead, I can face my problems head-on, knowing that if I just stand my ground and keep moving forward, I will overcome them. There is nothing to fear but fear itself. And I am learning to embrace fear, take it's energy from it, and use it to compel me forward toward physical, mental, and spiritual health.

I like that. It's a high that isn't destructive.

And I feel happy when I have overcome my fear and lived up to my name.

Party on! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IACTA_ALEA_EST 5/14/2013 9:00AM

    You never have to apologize for the struggle!

(but if you use salty language you will probably have to say sorry for that...)

Old habits dont go away without a fight, and so to the worthy struggle! emoticon


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AUNTB63 5/14/2013 8:42AM

    I think YOU have a great name and attitude towards it. Living life is not all fun and games, but when we have reminders around us (like your name and Spark Page) we can look at each day with a smile and keep moving forward. Hope your day is a good one. Stay happy and smile..... emoticon

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WALLINMW 5/14/2013 8:41AM

  Stay motivated! One day, one pound at a time.

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LIFETIMER54 5/14/2013 8:38AM

  KEEP GOING FORWARD.... emoticon

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Expanding My World: The Plans So Far

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

I have been making plans to change things.

I have several alarms set on my phone to remind me to call people every day so that I have social contact with people I love.

I am trying to expand my world again.

Yesterday, my husband went up into the attic and took out my keyboard. I cleaned it off and he found a cord for it. I am going to begin to play after 15 years or so. It was another casualty of my social phobia as is my singing. I used to sing in public for more than a two decades but I stopped altogether about four years ago. I don't draw anymore, but I just created my first mixed media piece on canvas board for my grandson who is due to be born in five weeks.

I look forward to playing the keyboard again. I can't read music. I just put on a CD and sit down and play what I hear. I love to play along with Eric Clapton or or Boston or other groups that have electric guitars.

Last night, I went to dance class. My teacher invited me to go to Memphis with her Wednesday to hear Gladys Night sing. Then she invited me to begin to just hang out with her from time to time when she's in town or going to the nearby town to shop or have lunch. I'm grateful for her kindness.

I can feel my shell beginning to crack open and I am going to wedge my foot in it so it can't slam shut again. Then I'm going to press my full weight against it and do all I can to break it open and to live full and free. And finally, I plan to burn that shell to ashes when I am finally out of it so that I will never have anything to trap me again.

OK...I'm off...with my face toward the "monks" on my walk this morning, and then, I'll make my morning social phone call...actually two of them. One the second one, I plan to make a standing "Girls' Night Out" date with my one close friend and ask her to bring her sister so that I can get to know her better over time.

This will meet two of my goals for the day: the one for fitness and the one that speaks of coming out of my shell.

P.S. Just as I was about to click "Post Blog Entry," this thought came to mind: "I'll make losing weight and coming out of my shell my full time job."

I'll need to think more about that to figure out all the ways to do it, but I think it is a great idea! emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAWMAW101 5/14/2013 8:42AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Keep up the good work, you are in my thoughts every day! This is the week for my 5K Walk and I promise to take you along in my pocket! Actually I have "Josie" on a balloon to remind me to just keep walking!


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HAPPYDOES 5/14/2013 8:40AM

    Oh, believe me,Vic, I do! emoticon


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MJRVIC2000 5/14/2013 8:14AM

    Thank God for all your blessings and give Him all the glory! In His Love! Vic.

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Bridge Over Troubled Water

Monday, May 13, 2013

not much appetite today...

but i'm feeling a bit more positive overall so that's a good thing.

i have a plan that is becoming more defined as i go along, so that's also a good thing.

Best of all, I have a very handsome husband who sees me as I am. He knows all my issues, what has happened to me in the past, and why I am the way I am. And he loves me anyway, even though it is hard on him sometimes. He is patient with me. He loves my body at any size. And he always wants to be with me. Several people have made the statement that he looks like a celebrity and carries himself like a king. I am so grateful to God for him. Last night I heard the song "Bridge Over Troubled Water"

and I thought of him.

He's the only one who has stood by me through this and believed in me when others have doubted me...including myself.

I love him.
I always will.

31 years together and counting...

Note: I decided to edit this because although I'm sure some people have read this, I know everyone hasn't yet, and I think I prefer to keep these details private after all.

  


To celebrate my SparkFriends and those who have come alongside me

Sunday, May 12, 2013

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I just wanted to take a moment to celebrate each and every one of you who have taken the time to come alongside me during this difficult time in my life.

I cannot tell you what this means to me.

I suffer from social phobia and am a near recluse. One of my Spark goals is to overcome this disabling fear of being in the public eye and of having relationships with people.

When I found the "Where are YOU walking to?" Spark group, it was literally as though someone threw me a lifesaver. For the first time I am getting out in the sunshine and walking at least three times each week. It is only on my street, but it is outside. I haven't done this in 12 years.

I have a gym membership, but it became difficult to keep the schedule because of lack of sleep. The only time I felt comfortable going to the gym was in the wee hours of the morning when no one was there. I might see one person when I was coming or going, but for the most part, I could exercise by myself without anyone seeing me...except the cameras of course.

And this is the hardest thing I've ever admitted online.

SO thank you to you all. You are amazing people who give me courage and hope that I can indeed beat this thing and get my life back.

YOU are worth celebrating!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ADAGIO_CON_BRIO 5/13/2013 1:30PM

    Thank you!

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MAWMAW101 5/12/2013 10:47AM

    Thanks for my rose. The more I know about you, the more I so totally admire what you are doing! You are doing great just keep heading toward those "monks"!
emoticon

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CURRENTFAN 5/12/2013 10:47AM

    Hi, Josie!

Thanks for stopping by my page and commenting on my blog.

Great job tackling your fears! You CAN do it!

Happy Mother's Day!

Kelli

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SWEETNEEY 5/12/2013 8:55AM

    Glad you are feeling better about yourself. One step at a time - I have a mild case of social phobia. I try to make a date with at least one friend to go out at least once a month. So we'll go to plays, or openings of events. This month, I am going to call her and suggest we go to a premiere of local movie. It's tough because I am quite happy being at home, exercising either at the gym or on the road by myself and chaufeuring my son around.
emoticon emoticon

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SANDICANE 5/12/2013 8:45AM

    I too have found amazing people here on Sparkpeople and share your joy of them and their support!
Keep Sparking!
Sandi

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Decisions

Saturday, May 11, 2013

I have made some decisions that have been very difficult to make but that I think will be very good in the long run.

The past month or so has been an emotional land-mine.

My husband still hasn't found work and we are both fighting depression.

I don't think I have lost any weight this week, but I don't think I've gained any either. I will find out when I weigh in tomorrow.

I think it is time for my walk so I can click off another couple of miles toward Subiaco and the monks. At least I'll feel as though I'm accomplishing something.

emoticon Thank God for His promises. emoticon


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAWMAW101 5/12/2013 7:57AM

    Please keep up those walks. That is one thing I learned years ago from a very smart therapist after the death of my son. It has kept me (relatively) sane for a long time. There will always be set backs but "this too shall pass!"
Today I will carry you in my pocket as I practice for my 5 K Walk by taking a very long walk.
emoticon

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HAPPYDOES 5/11/2013 7:55PM

    Thank you both. I keep saying that God is our Provider. He knows our needs and He will provide.
He hasn't let us down yet, and I know He won't let us down in the future. He is mighty to save.
We've never been through this for this long a period of time.
It is definitely a test of faith and I keep looking in the scriptures for encouragement.
The one thing I know is that as long as I have the Lord, I have all the I need.

Thank you so much for coming alongside me right now. I hate that this stuff doesn't go along with my "HappyDoes" and my Sparkpage. So much has happened recently that blindsided me, and I am not a very strong Christian, but I am learning to be one.

Thank you again. emoticon


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ANGELZWINGZ4 5/11/2013 7:47PM

    Keep the faith. I've been unemployed for 2 years now. I'm a single Mom and everyday I remind myself that there are people worse off than me. I know this is not a permanent situation. I just cannot see the finish line yet. Things will turn around.

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EMMACORY 5/11/2013 2:17PM

    All we can do is live today and make the best decisions that we can. I will pray that a job opportunity will open up for your husband. Even in the midst of challenging times we can be grateful for life, relationships, health. Blessings on your day and the days ahead. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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