Saturday, September 08, 2012
OK.... I have to get this off my chest right now!!! You know... I live by myself, so me having others sabotage my weight loss doesn't happen (or so I thought)
My mother (90 yrs old) is in an assisted care facility and I go to see her every Sat. and Mon., to pickup and take back her laundry for her to save her $$.
Today I was so excited breaking my plateau and losing 3 Lb., being at my lowest so far!! So I tell her, right? She looks at me and says.... wow!! 25 Lb.? "It sure DOESN'T look like it!....
Yea...so that burst my bubble! Obviously still bothering me cuz it happened about 3 hrs. ago. She has always done this sort of !##$! to me..... no wonder I turn to food??
Well..don't worry, I'm not this time! But, why do people have to be so cruel, because just the day prior my daughter-in-law said, "Wow, you've lost more weight, huh?"
I know some of you will say, Oh, she's old...blah blah blah....! She knows what she's doing, and that's outright "mean".
Oh, bad daughter, bad daughter....
OK...I'm done, I'm bloggin and gettin it "out".... THERE IT WENT!!!!
Gonna go make me a nice salad w/ vegs, tuna, etc.... Yummy...!
Thanks for listening SparkBuddies!!
Monday, August 27, 2012
I had a very very bad week and the scale showed it today at my Monday weigh-in! I'm up a pound and not happy about it. It started small and totally escalated the rest of the week.
Today I almost feel like I need to stay in my house, lock the doors, be by myself so I can have a controlled environment in order to stay on track. I totally think I am under control and then I realize..no you are not Carol, you had "no control" last week.
Will I have to fight like this the rest of my life to be healthy??? It's been almost 4 months and I'm very proud of my progress....but, I hate having this feeling of being in a spot where I'm "stuck", in a rut, no control, etc..... I just don't know how to "move on".
What happened to my 1-2 Lb. a week progress...where did that accomplishment go?? I've been fighting with this 209-210 spot for weeks and weeks. What the hell do I need to do to get past this !!#$* area. I want to be in onederland at least by my 5th month and I just don't see that happening at this rate.
Where is that little "spark" I need to get me past this "hole" I'm in. I can't find it?? I'm back to my treadmill today, which is where I started ... will keep up my chair and floor dancing and maybe a little lighter on the dumbells?? I don't know?? I'm also going to try to eat 6 smaller meals per day instead of the bigger meals at a sitting. I wish the tracker had a place to track like that?? Maybe I will suggest it to them.
Anyway just feeling a little hopeless today and a little sad that I can't move from this black hole I'm in. I'm definitely not giving up, just need to find another direction in order to move forward in my journey.
Love to all my SparkBuddies and keep up the good work in moving forward...I'm trying!!
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