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Dear self

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Dear self,

You have so much potential. Don't worry about trying to compare yourself with others. Life isn't a race with those around you. You have unique talents and so do those around you.

Spend more time listening and asking about the lives of those around you. When you are feeling isolated it's easy to fall into self pity. Try to avoid this by thinking about others and helping them out. When you serve others you also give yourself a greater purpose. It is a wonderful way to help in dark times and a way to help connect you to others.

Remember your talents and gifts. Use them to express yourself and help others. Follow your passions. Remember that caring for and about people is not the same as being a people pleaser. Serve, but not at the expense of sacrificing your values or sense of self.

It's never too late to learn or change your career/life. Make small changes now and they will lead to great things. Don't worry if you have to restart something you did in the past. Past failures or setbacks are chances to learn and do better on the next round.

Be grateful. Being thankful for your abundant blessings will help you through many trials and obstacles in your life. Take the time to pause, breathe and see all the ways that you are loved and blessed.

Life is messy, complicated and yet it is also beautiful. There will be moments of peace, but also ones of deep sadness. You can hold on and keep fighting. You can choose to see your life as a victims plight or a heroic battle. The choice is yours. A simple change in attitude can change everything. Always remember this.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YOGAWITCH 10/21/2014 12:32PM

    Thanks I needed that

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KOFFEENUT 9/29/2014 4:36PM

    This is so timely! I just helped a woman move this morning - after spending 8 yrs in an abusive relationship, she found the courage to move on. Although at this moment she's feeling worthless and defeated, THIS describes the reality of her life. Thank you for giving me something I can share with her!

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JUSTYNA7 9/29/2014 8:52AM

    emoticon When I read it through the first time I thought... very wise. And then when I read it through the second time I changed it to Dear Justyna... and wow....it was just what I needed to hear. I certainly think of service as a part of my raison d'etre so it really did speak to me. Also I loved the advice about life being messy and complicated because that is what makes it fascinatingly beautiful. In fact it is a week's worth of support, one paragraph each work day. I hope your self realizes how lucky it is to have you. Justyna

Comment edited on: 9/29/2014 8:53:30 AM

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EZRIN101 9/29/2014 12:24AM

    Beautifully written

Words we should all remember :)

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GRANNIEC1 9/28/2014 10:53PM

    emoticon letter to self!

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NUTINLOOKSLIKE 9/28/2014 10:46PM

    Thanks for posting! I always need reminders that it's not a competition, and there are no losers. emoticon

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Victory #2

Friday, May 16, 2014

My mission today is to list reasons I'm thankful for my body. Yes, all of it.

Hair: I'm thankful for my curly hair and it's unique personality.
Skin: I'm thankful that my skin, freckles and completion remind me of my ancestry.
Scars: I am thankful for the permanent scars on my body which serve as reminders of things that I survived and also that gave me lessons
Nose: I'm thankful my nose can smell. That it can help me enjoy the flavors of food even more than my taste buds could alone.
Teeth: I'm thankful my teeth can chomp away at food. I'm thankful for the thin enamel because it's made me more conscious of taking care of them.
Touch: I am thankful for my sense of touch. Without it I wouldn't know if I left my hand sitting on a hot stove. I wouldn't be to feel the stubble of my husbands face, the soft cheeks of my daughters or the scruffy fur of my dog.
Eyes: I'm thankful for the ability to see those around me. I love the hazel color and the fact that they are three different colors.
Ears: I'm thankful I can hear the laughter of my my children. That I can listen to music
Brain: I am thankful for the enormous capacity of my brain to learn, change and memorize things. I am thankful for my ADHD which gives me a continually playful nature and allows me to see the world in a different way.
Torso: I'm thankful for my lungs which allow me to breath. I'm thankful for me heart that beats and flushes blood through my body. I'm thankful for my spin which holds me up.
Hips: I am thankful that the roundness of my hips signifies an incredibly sacred and precious thing, that I am a mother.
legs: I'm thankful that they allow me to walk and move around.
knees: I'm thankful that they help me climb up stairs and that I am able to kneel on them when I need to pray or crawl around with my daughter.
arms: I am thankful for my arms which allow me to hug people. I'm thankful that I can use them to make meals for my family
hands: I am thankful that I can use my hands to write. I am thankful that I can use them to convey my meager knowledge of sign language.
feet: I am thankful that my feet help balance me as I stand or walk.

I know I am exceptionally blessed and so are you. While our bodies have some similarities, they also each have abundant and beautiful differences. This is something I am working at internalizing instead of trying to compare myself to other people (and in the end to a completely mythical person who doesn't exist since A: none of knows another person 100% and B: most of us compare ourselves to different aspects of different people-hense the mythical part)

What are you thankful for? It can be in a list or a thank you note.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSTYNA7 5/17/2014 3:24AM

    Thankful for the blossoms that about to errupt outside and the memory of so many seasons in the garden....
Thankful for creative outlets, passions, appreciating that we are all different and contribute differently and make the world a pretty awesome place.
Thankful for adventures and treasures and surprises.
Thankful for routine and security and a place of comfort.

For my body that does amazing things and certainly more than I expect.
For my body that can recharge, improve, change, adapt.
For my body that.. yes can hug and hold and embrace and release, share and stand alone.

For a good dentist visit. Good blood work. Improving strength.

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Tuesday, May 13, 2014

By the way if you didn't say the title in a deep Viking style voice I suggest that you try again. It's ok, I can wait. Really, I think you should yell out "Victory," it will help you feel even better than you already do. And no I'm not going to take " but my boss is looking at me weird" as an excuse. Granted that's probably because I'm used to having people look at me that way. After all we can choose to live our lives safe or fabulous. And I aim to always choose fabulous.

Now onto the reason I titles this victory. It wasn't just to see if anyone would yell it out loud, but that's absolutely a perk. It's because I am going to start my mini goals. However, I think mini victories sound way cooler. So, I'm going with that. Besides, sometimes I write down goals and think of them being attached to a certain time frame. For example, I will accomplish this goal in a day, by the end of this month, before the next full moon, you get the idea. The problem is that it doesn't always according to plan. Therefore I've decided to work toward victories. There's no timeline. Once I've accomplished the task, ooo wait "the mission should you choose to accept it" then I will move to the next victory.

(In case you haven't noticed by now I'm kind of a geek)

Victory #1
This goal has nothing to do with food, diet or exercise. It isn't even about tossing out foods, scales or joining a club. All I am going to do is write what I envision my future self being. There is no date attached to this future self because there are some things out of my control and also I want to become this person for more than a day. So here is my vision for my futures self:

I am toned, trim and lean. I eat foods which give me energy and vitality. My memory and thoughts are clear. I have enough energy to play with my kids and spend time with my husband at night. I don't feel guilt about food or sneak off and eat in secret. Instead I enjoy the flavors of food and the company of the people I am eating with.
When I need comfort, I pamper myself with a bath, book, show, time with a friend or taking time to create something.

I am patient with those around me and withhold judgement. Instead of comparing myself to others. I embrace their unique gifts and talents. I cheer others on and am charitable out of love rather than obligation. Each day I exude gratitude and joy for my life.

I am creative and take time everyday to write,and/or draw. I accomplish the projects I am passionate in and learn to say no to those which aren't correct uses of my time at the moment or at all depending on the project)

This is my goal. To live each day thinking "how would the fit, holy and novelist version of myself handle this?"

Victory 1-knowing the direction that I want to be heading: being a holy, fit woman who writes novels.

Woo Hoo, goal achieved and I didn't even break a sweat. Although I've never seen sweat actually get broken. You'd think perspiration would be more flexible than than. But I digress.

Do you have a few plans you are heading toward? What would your future self look like and act like? Would he or she totally rock a fez? I'm just kidding. I think we both know that the answer is yes. Fezzes are cool.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSTYNA7 5/17/2014 3:29AM

    I like this vision. My future me is active, eating healthy, feeling heatlhy, being spiritual, being creative, jumping for joy and taking time to embrace pleasure. My future me is mindful and welcoming. My future me takes time to plan but is sometimes spontaneous. My future me is a writer, has a community, has a family, and enjoys her own company. I think I'm there too.. or maybe when I'm not looking I am there but when I look too closely it seems distant. Like transporter memories.

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HALFWRITTEN 5/15/2014 10:44PM

    At least that's the goal. One preverbal step at a time.

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KOFFEENUT 5/14/2014 12:37AM

    Who was it that said "If you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there"? Well, you KNOW where you're going, you fit and holy novelist!

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I've been gone so long...

Sunday, May 11, 2014

...oh wait the song actually goes "I've been down so long," oh well close enough. I'm coming back to blog. It's been ages, but consistency has never been my strong suit. Hmm maybe it'd be nice to have a strong suit and go all 'Iron Man' in it, but I digress.

It seems like Mother's Day is as good of a Day as any to hop back onto the SparkPeople Wagon. Although it probably is more of walking along side the wagon. That seems healthier.

Why is Mother's Day a good day to regain my fitness commitments? Well, this is a day that talks about respecting moms. I can't say that I've been particularly respectful of myself lately. There are too many times when I have skipped exercising because the kids wanted to do something else or made it hard for me to go to the gym. Then there are all of the things I've eaten for temporary comfort which lead to feeling crappy, guiltily and then the cycle continues.

I know we are all here dealing with personal demons. It's so hard for me to admit that they do have a strong hold on me, I am overwhelmed and need help. Paradoxically, I am great at saying that I have no trouble accepting help when it's offered to save myself a lecture.

Have you ever done the same? Yes, I am well aware of the healthy habits I should be incorporating into my life. All of that information is categorized happily in my prefrontal cortex, (executive part of my brain) but when the demons hit hard that part of my brain is highjacked. It happens to everyone. Then the lovely fight, flight or freeze response kicks in. For me I usually "hide" by binging.

So, my goal is to reduce the amount of times that I get to that point. To recognize the storm clouds before the typhoon hits and get out with breathing techniques, meditation or other methods of self care.

I also have an anterior motive for this blog. For a long time I've wanted a health book or website with lots of little goals I could follow. While I've come across a few lists here and there, I've never come across exactly what I have been looking for. Therefore I've decided to make one myself and start blogging my progress here.

I've read that the key to losing weight or making healthy goals is to make little changes each week, but then the same articles or books usually only toss out two or three ideas. That won't cut it for me. I need it broken down in ridiculously small steps.

What about you? What helps you commit to goals? Does it drive you nuts when people tell you how to loose weight or stop a habit when you didn't ask for their opinion? What super power would you have if you could? What? They can't all be weigh related questions.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HALFWRITTEN 5/13/2014 11:13PM

    Kofffeenut, thank you for your uplifting comments. You're right, the key is small and things I can control.

Japittard, you made me smile. I love that you answered the super hero question. That's the power I would pick too. Although I would probably use it to take lots of naps. Plus I have to add the addendum to my power that I could unfreeze the people I wanted to. Shenanigans!

The Facebook groups sounds brilliant. I would love to join. Thanks so much. :)

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KOFFEENUT 5/13/2014 12:11AM

    Great observation - respecting moms includes respecting yourself and having a healthy lifestyle that allows you to be around for a long time! I set REALLY small goals for myself, but things I could control (Yes, I CAN eat two servings of vegetables today! Yes, I CAN exercise 5 minutes longer than I did last week!). Even small steps add up when you're headed in the right direction. Hang in there!

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JAPITTARD 5/11/2014 10:51PM

    Great job making a commitment to change and a commitment to make time for you!

Let's see....

I agree with you to get started on my journey anytime I am off track and am ready to get back on track I need SUPER simple steps and guidelines. Once I am on track I find that I can loosen the rules and guidelines.

There are two things that help me commit to my goals... 1. Is being accountable to others, knowing that other people are watching me. 2. This is the most important to me is that I have to be ready to commit.

It's doesn't drive me nuts when people offer advise when not asked, BUT could live without it.

Super Power......Freeze time... if I could somehow freeze time so that I could work a couple more moments into my day, that would be FANTASTIC!

-Amy P
Also I host a fitness and accountability group on Facebook. Itís a private group where we check in, keep each other accountable and encourage one another on our journeys! Because it is private what you post in the group doesn't show up on your regular feed. I would love for you to join us. If you would like you can either message me your email address and I can add you that way (we donít have to be FB friends if I add you by emailÖ.. OR you can find me on Facebook and add me as a friend (www.facebook.com/amy.pittard). Once you add me as a friend I can add you directly to the group. I hope you join in!!

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HOTPINKCAMARO49 5/11/2014 10:50PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Give me lovely hair...

Tuesday, November 26, 2013


Day 2 of the challenge. Yes, technically yesterday would have been day 2, but I'd rather not blog on Sundays. It is a day if rest after all. (Although I wouldn't hold me up to the whole 'I don't blog on Sundays thing,' since I'm maddeningly inconsistent)

Today the challenge was to let my hair be 'au natural' and let it be. This meant no products, irons, curlers (although that'd be silly in my case) or anything like that. I imagine shampoo and conditioner would be exempt.

This was an easy and fun one for me because I don't do much with my hair. It's naturally curly. It gets tangled easily, but also does it's own thing. The ,purpose for today was not to hair bash. I don't know why, but saying hair bash makes me smile. Possibly because it sounds like ki-bosh. Possibly because it's late, I'm tired and everything seems a little bit funnier than normal. So if you don't get my humor, by all means try again around 2am. True it probably still won't seem funny, but it might just seem a little less lame. Though I make no promises.

So, what's your favorite thing about your hair? Is there a style or hair do you've always wanted to try? I want to do the top bun that looks like a bow. It seems cute. True it was probably geared more toward the 7 year old crowd, but why should they have all the fun. They already get all the cool shoes that glow when they walk.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HALFWRITTEN 11/26/2013 5:56PM

    I think all hair is beautiful. Judy I. Sorry your hair was so mistreated. That's awful.

Koffeenut I think your hair looks very nice. I think your hair does give you a youthful appearance.

Susanbeamon: I think that straight hair is beautiful and I hope you're able to enjoy it. :)

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KOFFEENUT 11/26/2013 5:38PM

    Ooohhh....long, naturally curly hair? Now I have a mild case of hair envy. Genetics blessed me with baby-fine hair that becomes wispy the closer it gets to my shoulders. Of course EVERY other female relative (cousins, sister - even my daughter!) got the long, lush, thick hair genes. My hair WILL throw in a nice natural wave, and now that I'm......older.....I am willing to believe the shorter hair helps me have a more youthful appearance!

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JUDYAMK 11/26/2013 1:05AM

    My hair is as dry as the desert sands!! Of course having it highlighted, and permed does not help. Then a few weeks ago I told the hairdresser to put ash on my hair as I have a lot of red in my hair due to family members on both sides of the family have red hair. she would not do it.My hair turned out completely BURGUNDY!!! I could have screamed when she twirled the chair around so I could see my knew color. I ran home and put 1/2 box of baking soda on it plus 1/2 bottle of Dawn dish detergent the only thing I got out of that was soft feet from bubbles being past my ankles in the shower!! finally went to someone else and they fixed my hair back to my normal color. so that was the worse hair day. The worse part I work in the Pharmacy is having my customers say " Judy what did you do to your hair?" my co workers just stared at me!!
The only one that thought it was nice was the hairdresser that did it!!!! I ordered last week a heat cap from Amazon to put conditioner on & sit for 20 minutes, that is awesome what 2 treatments has already done for my hair Have a great hair week I know I will now!!!

Comment edited on: 11/26/2013 1:08:23 AM

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SUSANBEAMON 11/26/2013 12:48AM

  i have no favorite thing with my hair. it has been baby fine all my life. that means, without heavy doses of gel or hairspray, my hair won't hold any styling. even teasing, a big thing when i was young, would work itself out by days end. but if i let it grow long, i sometimes would get simple waves, not curls, in it.

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