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Which role model are you of these two?

Saturday, June 08, 2013

This weekend, I’m in Budapest for a training weekend. I organized it, but I was not the facilitator, sort of a personally made business trip. I also took my running gear with me, as usual. Although I didn’t plan ahead this time when and how much will I run, but I set the goal to run at least one time, and walk 30 minutes every day.

Suddenly I had some free time in the morning yesterday. I decided to use it for a short run as I contracted with myself. I asked my host the night before if there are any good locations nearby to run. I was surprised, as he said there is a running track a few blocks away in the park. I didn't know about it all! So, shoes on, let’s hit the track.

During the 2nd lap, I noticed this ~60 year old guy running in front of me. It was the second time I passed him, but now, he came into my attention.

I was thinking, how great, at this age, I also want to be like him. Be out, and running. Maybe I will have some issues with my health, I won’t look like a new titan, but I want to be out there like him.

Then I noticed another guy, about 45-50, sitting on a bench, drinking a beer. And I started to think, yes sitting, time off, on a nice bench, in a park, this is something good to do. Relax, time for myself.

Then, I passed by him, and the running “grandpa” was again in sight. Yes, and again, my thoughts came, I want to do like him, when I’ll be 60.

And then I realized: these two persons were modeling a behavior for me, without even knowing that they are doing it. There simple presence, and doing what they were doing, had an effect on me.

And probably I do the same for other people.
I’m also a role model for my friends, family, colleagues, training participants, people on the street. I AM present somewhere in the World, and I do MODEL a behavior for others, intentionally or not.

So, what behavior do you model with your behavior for the people around you?

Do you like what you model?

If you could do in intentionally, what behavior would you model for others?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLAIRESML 6/15/2013 10:58PM

    Hi Oliver,
Great blog getting us to think and consider......
Its funny, but being 54 and right at the edge of obese/overweight I used to have the opinion that everyone is looking at me 'slow jogging' and thinking "oh I feel sorry for her".....
But, I got over that, and decided either people probably didn't even notice me or perhaps some would smile and wave ; as would I.
But, now I actually feel good that I take the time and effort to do this for my health instead of just drinking my nightly martinis .
I like your advice to focus on a singular goal at a time, and will take that up tomorrow and chart things as well.
Thanks for your good advise!

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MILLIE5522 6/11/2013 5:12PM

    Being kind towards others.......... its' a much underestimated quality.

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ALDEBARANIAN 6/8/2013 7:41PM

    Drive gently

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    LOVE the 60 yr old !!!! I need to do a blog based also on what happened today that I went thru. It was sooo sad, but showed me how FAR I've COME ALONG !!!

to be the man who WAS Jogging/running at age 60 WOOHOOO !! I WISH I COULD !! my feet have broken 8 times in 3 yrs, so that's OUT for me,,, and I in general use a wheelchair to get around, but ITS ALL IN THE ATTITUDE !! Cos there are PLENTY OF OTHER exercises I CAN AND DO !!!!! one can sit by IDLEY and CRY "over spilt milk" or they can get UP AND LIVE LIFE !! its UP TO US !! So yuppers,,, gonna go and write that blog,, ThANKS cos I wanted to write one, but didn't know how to start off. this guy on the bus today,,, was really upsetting, and yet, also inspiring.

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FITFOODIE806 6/8/2013 2:15PM

    Great blog! I want to be the old runner. I do my best to live a healthy, positive life everyday.

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    I am 60 and although I am not out running, I am working on yoga everyday. Recently a much younger woman came up to me after a class and told me that I am an inspiration to her because I try to do everything. She didn't realize I was standing on jelly-legs. A year and a half ago I was an example of how not to live. Now I think I am an example of how choosing a healthy lifestyle improves every aspect of your life.

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EVER-HOPEFUL 6/8/2013 1:55PM

    i donīt try to be a role model well not consciously but i was always brought up to always do my best no matter what.my friends are always commiting how strong i am so are the drīs.one dr called me to all his assistant drīs his miricle women,my gp things i am the strongest person she knows.everyone who knows me wonders how i keep going and always seem to have a smile on my face and look at the positive no matter what the situation.they all say how i give them hope and also how i sometimes make them feel guilty when they let the small things get them down and then see or thing of me .they say i and my life help them put their own life into perspective and when in a bad situation in their life they think of me and their life doesnīt seem so bad.on one side i am pleased i help them feel better and cope with their own life better but on the other side i donīt like them feel ashamed on my behalf or that they put me on so high a pedistile as i donīt see myself as strong at all.i live by the philosophy that god wouldnīt give me anything i couldnīt cope with.if god thinks i can cope with what life comes my way who am i to say god is wrong so i just get on with it so you could say my faith carries me.donīt know weather this answers your question or not.well done for getting your run in. emoticon

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MOBYCARP 6/8/2013 10:44AM

    I want to be the guy out there running who doesn't give a crap about the guy sitting around drinking beer but will wave to the younger runner. I want to be the guy who doesn't think 60 pushups are exercise, but they're more of a morning routine like brushing his teeth. I want to be the guy who does pullups every day, just because he can and so he'll still be able to do that tomorrow.

Wait a minute . . . I *am* that guy! And I think maybe you're the role model you really want to be, right now, without waiting for your 60th birthday.

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KCLARK89 6/8/2013 10:13AM

    Awesome blog!! I think too more often than not, it isn't anything that we say or do deliberately, but it's how we ARE as a person that people notice.

I hope people can see my work ethic. I bust my butt to get where I want to go, and I want people to see that you CAN do it even if it is hard along the way :)

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AEROBISAURUS 6/8/2013 10:03AM

    Yes! Strength, Positivity, Love, Truth, Acceptance, and Balance! We are all connected in the chain of life, we are all one, all made up of the same matter. What you reap is what you sew.

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BESSHAILE 6/8/2013 8:29AM

    I got so much from attending Weight Watcher meetings that had members who had reached their goals, so I go now that I've reached mine, to show them that it's possible to get there if you just don't quit.

:) You are a role model for us all.

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GETSTRONGRRR 6/8/2013 8:01AM

    I always try to set the example! I did 75 pushups in 1 minute yesterday....a bunch of 20 & 30 year olds around me struggled to get only 40-50. I got a bunch of high fives for a "53-year old man"!

I heard a good saying a while ago. "If you want to look good at 80....take good care of yourself at 40!"

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MARGARITTM 6/8/2013 7:34AM

    Great pics and you are so right.

I AM the old one!!!!! It always surprises me when people say I have inspired them.

I always feel like ME? ME? I have zero self discipline...really???? but if I can do it - you can too!

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KELLIEBEAN 6/8/2013 7:15AM

    I am always amazed when I run in 5Ks and see many older people. It's always inspiring.

I definitely want to remain active and healthy as long as I can and hope that others are inspired a little when they see me out there running.

Great blog. Thanks for sharing your wisdom!

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KRISZTA11 6/8/2013 6:11AM

    Thank you for sharing!
I'm glad you had a chance to run on the island before it was closed down because of the floods.

I hope people around me see how healthy lifestyle makes me stronger and happier, and choose to make positive choices for themselves.

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CHARITY1973 6/8/2013 4:37AM

    Nice blog! As I ran today I went past a lot of people walking and they all seemed really surprised to see someone running where they only thought people walked. I'm guessing that they may have found a quicker stride once they saw me running.

I however saw a woman in her 70's running this week and I wanted to be her. She ran with a slight stiffness in her hips but otherwise she ran upright, quickly and had her head high. Awesome!

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SUNSET09 6/8/2013 3:20AM

  I like to be the one that sets the examples for others to follow; whether it's to eat right, work out, be honest, get down and dirty as how can you ask others to do, if you won't do it yourself!? emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Run on! emoticon

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STRIVERONE 6/8/2013 2:55AM

    I would like to be a model of consistency and commitment tempered by moderation.

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VISUALLYRICS 6/8/2013 1:15AM

    Thank you for your words of wisdom.
I choose to be a simple presence for others to see and hopefully I may encourage them to make improvements in their lives without a word....:::just through my living example. emoticon

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Learning by moving

Sunday, June 02, 2013

This weekend I crammed in ~30h of exercise minutes... I was on my training with contact dance improvisation. From Friday to Sunday, I've spent the time in sleeping, in dining, or on the dance floor.

It's different from other types of dance I did before, salsa, rock'n'roll, ballroom dance, of folklore (Hungarian). They all have a choreography to learn+follow. The more precise I execute the form, the more liberating the dance can be.
In contact, however, no choreography. Boundaries are much more simple: we are in the room, there are no words, we move, we touch or no. I listen, watch, follow, lead, support, move, pour my weight. It feels in the same time natural and new each time. For me, it takes courage to start, but once I'm in, it just flows. For others, who grew up in "movement", coming from ballet, rhythmic gymnastics, martial arts, or sports it just flows, without the "start bump". Sometimes I catch that "flow" so fast, and it goes so easily and naturally, sometimes it's just "doesn't flow". But like with other forms of exercise, I still keep myself there and move.

I learn so much about myself through movement. I did explore already about myself through ways of mind (coaching, training, therapy), and spirit (retreats, silence, meditation), but I never really intentionally learned about myself through my body. Feels like a wide road that I have just discovered, and every step I make, brings so much data and information. Other times, I just play and enjoyed the movement, without much awareness about what I'm dancing.
I discovered movements I have never done before, and I noticed movements that I make all the time. And I moved so much, without even noticing that from morning to the evening, I was just moving. I find it to be so much fun, incredible.
Another learning then, is when I find a form of exercise when my focus is not on the "I'm doing exercise", it goes easily, almost without effort. This was a semi-conscious decision to come for this training. This way, beside learning this form of dance, I also contracted myself for 10x 3-day go-full exercise during the year.
If you haven't heard about "contact", just google or look up in youtube "contact dance improvisation".

Saturday was a "running day", so I started my day with a short run, just 15 minutes, to keep my habit alive. I could run more, but I consciously had to turn back home, and save the energy for later that day. I found it's good that I make short run even on those days when I wouldn't need, because I do anyway a lot of exercise. It makes it to continue with the running later on. When I skip it, later on it feels again like "restarting", and needs more effort to get out there.

Here's a picture of the forest I was running in. We were in Fraknó (Frochtenstein), which is near the border of Hungary-Austria (now in Austria). Lots of pine trees, and lots of rain. I think this was the only short period during the three days when it didn't rain.

Otherwise, Fraknó has a wonderful castle with strong history in the middle ages, and belongs to the Eszterházy family since 16th hundred. If you are nearby, worth a day trip to visit.

Any of you doing contact dance?
Or other forms of dance?
What's your experience?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EVER-HOPEFUL 6/6/2013 6:45AM

    there is nothing so freeing as dance,nothing that lets you be you than dance.how energy and emotion,life itself can be expressed through a few moments that can open and free your soul all through the beauty of dance and music.can you tell i love to dance?,lol.glad you enjoyed yourself and way to go on all the extra calories you would have burnt. emoticon

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ALMJBS 6/3/2013 5:17PM

    Love dancing :)

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CLAIRESML 6/3/2013 4:47PM

    Well I learned something new today. I had never heard nor seen contact dance before.
Looks like a beautiful running area, too.
Thanks for opening my eyes.

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SAPHRAEL 6/3/2013 9:07AM

    Intriguing! Umm, I occasionally attend a zumba class! Lol

Your reasons for sticking with the running program, even if it's a short run, makes sense. It's what they call a slippery slope. One rest day can easily turn into two and so on.

My husband and I have castle tours on our bucket list. Thanks for sharing!

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ALDEBARANIAN 6/3/2013 7:44AM

    Interesting. Never heard of that before.

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KALISWALKER 6/2/2013 8:32PM

    I watched some on youtube. Wow it's take energy and awareness!

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JACKSGRAN 6/2/2013 5:39PM

    Well done. I know that exercise will be difficult for me. Thanks for sharing your experience

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Me, the rain, the lake. My run.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Sitting in front of my laptop, I'm tracking my food in sparkpeople. I feel tired. My posture should look really bad. I look outside the window, and it's raining. I check out the weather forecast, and it's cold. I don't feel like exercise at all.
Good. Zero motivation to get out.

I decide that at least, I take on my running clothes, my t-shirt, my pants, my socks, and my shoes, and at make some stretching inside, and then I decide.

I go outside. Here I can see, the rain is heavier then it looked from the inside. And it feels cold, too. My wife's mother is complaining with a smile, why I go out running when it's raining and it's cold, I should stay inside. We visit here for the long weekend. Huh, why can't people help me at least emotionally? It's hard enough already. I decide I don't care about her nagging, and make a short run anyway.

I make it to the nearby lake. I check out endomondo, how much I did. This trash, again, the GPS didn't connect, it just measured the time, no distance. I decide I don't care about the roaming costs, and turn on the data connection, the GPS connects better when the data is on. And I will get at least some voice feedback on my progress. And as I turn on the data connection, withing 2 seconds, endomondo shows the strong signal.

I make some stretching, and pose exercise drills. These drills are a bit boring, and I'm not sure I do it correctly, but I do it anyway. I wish I could go to a POSE training nearby. When I go to the POSE training, for a few days afterwards, running feels so much easier. Then it wears off, and my technique is poor again.

I decide to continue with the running, slowly.
Two guys are fishing, and discussing about their equipment. They don't look at me. I pass them, and hit a big watery area with my feet, and my socks are soaking. I guess, from now on, at least I don't have to care about avoiding water, I just go my way.

I get nearby a couple, walking their dog. The man is standing and watching me. He nods when I get very close, I nod, too. The woman is watching the dog. She smiles at me, looks at the dog, and back at me. I smile at them. But anyway, I steer a few meters to the other side. The dog looks friendly, but, I'm a runner, and it's a dog. Suddenly, I remember all those years, when I developed petfood. My life was about cats and dogs all the time. Feels both so long ago, and like yesterday. I hit some water again, and remember again, that it doesn't matter anyway.

I pass by the fisher guys again.
They are still talking, and don't notice me really.

A new couple walking their dog.

I'm still the only runner.

I realize, it doesn't feel cold actually.

I check my heart rate.
Up to 175 bpm.
Oh, these used to be lower.

I make another round around the lake, and pass by original the couple, the fisher guys, and dog. The new couple went away already.
The rain stops.
I'm running for 30 minutes now. It feel like I cannot go more, but I remember that after 35 minutes, it feels much better.

Another 5 minutes, and it feels much better.
I listen to the feedback of Endomondo, 5:40 minutes per K, a slow pace, good for this time.

I'm with my thoughts. I think about today, yesterday, and what will come the weekend.
I forget about the people, the environment. I just feel my heart beating, my feet touch the ground, the air in my lungs. I focus on my technique, pull-pull-pull. Andy's word echo in my mind, "Relaxed feet, and think about the pull!"

I finish my last round around the lake, and decide to steer back home. I could go on more, but as it was hard to start, now it's hard to stop. But it's better to go home now.

As I arrive to our street, I decide to speed up a bit, and have an easy sprint for the end.
I stop endomondo, and walk until my heart rate falls below 120 bpm. It only shows 8K, when it was 10K. I realize again that it missed the first part. When will technology finally catch up.
I walk a bit to cool down.
Make some stretching.

I feel energized, free, and happy.
Suddenly I notice, it's raining again.
But it's not cold anymore.

How was your run today?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EVER-HOPEFUL 6/6/2013 6:46AM

    i love the rain it is my favorite weather.no i am not mad just english,lol. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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IGSBETH 6/4/2013 2:20PM

    Way to go!

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GRANDMACOO 6/1/2013 5:56PM

    Great visuals. I could smell the rain and feel your wet feet, although I never have to run in the rain. Living in arid AZ, even if it's raining when I want to run, I just have to wait a bit and know that it will stop.
Thanks for sharing.

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AEROBISAURUS 5/31/2013 1:07PM

    I'm guessing you do not wear headphones while you run? Ditch the endomondo! Lol (I had to google what the heck it was!) Haha :P Just go with your flow instead, no chaos. I love the warm feeling you get after the first 3 or so miles, it's bliss, feels like freedom! That's probably why I enjoy the sport so much. emoticon

Happy running!

~Nikki :)

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GRANDMA1951 5/31/2013 11:11AM

    How motivating. I hate getting outside when it's cold. Thanks for sharing so that maybe next time it's cold, I'll remember how you were no longer cold toward the end. Great blog.

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WIO_ALISA 5/31/2013 10:01AM

    emoticon Thanks for sharing your run with us.

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NUOVAELLE 5/31/2013 2:45AM

    Your blog is like the definition of "against all odds"! Well done, Oliver! Everything was against you, the weather, the people, even technology but you insisted and enjoyed a great run!
Thank you for sharing it with us. I really enjoyed reading your blog!

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    Oliver,,, this is GREAT !!!! Have you looked at the Dawgs and the running a 5K? They could USE YOU !!! And you use them for these DAYS !!!

The hardest part of ANY Exercise when we do NOT want to do it,,is "putting on our clothing" for it,,, for once we do that,, e are NOW OBGLIGATED to FOLLOW THRU !! WOOOHOOOO !!!!

I felt like I was runnin w/ya (I used to be able too,,, I LOVED THOSE DAYS !) when you stepped into the puddle. LOLOLOL I used to say the about the same ,,mine was "Well I am wet now,,, I can now STEP IN THEM FOR FUN" !!! AND I DID !! HAHAHAHAHA


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STRIVERONE 5/30/2013 10:14PM

    You really conveyed the atmosphere and the gradual change in your mood during the run. Very engaging. Thank you.

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LISAINMS 5/30/2013 9:17PM

    What a lovely description of your run. Good job going out when it was cold, raining and you weren't motivated.

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DOUGDC 5/30/2013 9:03PM

    Your stream of consciousness style is great. I was engaged and with you every step of the way, every wavering decision, the beating heart, the rain, but not cold. Thanks for the post!

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MOBYCARP 5/30/2013 8:54PM

    My run today was not nearly as good as yours. Thanks for the picture of running in the rain; I aspire to being able to do that again.

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GETSTRONGRRR 5/30/2013 8:35PM

    Nicely written!

Exercising when you don't feel motivated is the mark of a true athlete...good on you!

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KALISWALKER 5/30/2013 5:46PM

    You are great at motivating yourself. I am glad you did what you should do.

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KELLIEBEAN 5/30/2013 3:13PM

    People who do not pursue a healthy, active lifestyle and running, do not understand why we go through what we go through to get out there, to improve, to push ourselves and eat right.

It's just like people not understanding why I like to ride a motorcycle. I have a t-shirt that reads "if you don't ride then you don't know". I should look and see if they have shirts like that about running.

Thank you for sharing your run. What a lovely picture!

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The joy of Quantified Self (video interview)

Monday, May 13, 2013

I've been in Amsterdam, The Netherlands this weekend (11-12 May 2013) on the Quantified Self conference. It was great - I learned and experienced so much. I probably will unfold it in another post.

I had the chance to have a video interview at the conference, it's posted on my own website, I link it to here. I would be interested in your feedback. And it's also a chance to see me sort of "in real life". It's 14 minutes, max resolution is 720p (HD).

What is evoked in you?
How do you like it?
Any advice for me based on your experience?

Thanks a lot!


If the link doesn't work, copy-paste this into a brwoser window:

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AEROBISAURUS 5/29/2013 8:58AM

    Cool! I'd go absolutely nuts self tracking! Very interesting though. Best of luck to you!

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RUFFIT 5/28/2013 8:20AM

    Good for you!! Great video and I think it is awesome what steps you are taking in your healthy lifestyle journey!! Moni

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SPARKCHANTAL 5/21/2013 5:04AM

    i'll check it out later, but for now...

meow emoticon woof!

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GINIEMIE 5/19/2013 6:31AM

    I read the article of Quantified Self, and watched your video. It was very interesting and showed me how much more I could be tracking, things I tracked a long time ago and gave up on because I was too busy going to school, raising five children, etc. I used to track my dreams, and I remember it helped me figure out why/when I was stressed.
I track most of my food, and my exercise but I'm not consistent enough. I started tracking flossing my teeth, but did not stick to it. So now at the beginning of a new week, I'm going to find a little note pad and set it up so that I can look at what I'm tracking. That way when I'm away from my computer I'm still tracking my food/calories and exercise.

I liked you blog & video, it was motivating and you incorporated good examples. It evoked a desire to do better for myself. Keep on doing these kind of motivational videos.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SHOOPETTE 5/19/2013 4:18AM

    I took a look at your website and thought it was very inspiring,
I think it's really important to stress that tracking is key and that you don't need super hig tech gadgets to do it.
So you track your dreams too?

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DOLLFACEDX 5/18/2013 8:43AM

    FYI, the link didn't work - I did copy/paste and was able to get the interview. . .no video but the audio was the important part.

What is evoked in you?

Curiosity and excitement. Already a 'tracker', this hi-lited areas I hadn't thought to track.

How do you like it?

I enjoyed listening; you were asked about the benefits and as you responded, the words "self-awareness" kept popping into my head. Possibly even more important than the various health aspects is knowing oneself.

Any feedback, suggestion?

First, thanks for spreading this knowledge to others - I had never before heard of this movement as a movement.
Second, if not for my recent involvement in the 5% Spring Into Summer Challenge (which group is VERY difficult to learn about), I would have totally missed to learn of QS – is there some way to generate more general exposure to the Spark community on this subject? I’m sure many peeps could benefit and would appreciate it.

Thank you for taking the time to raise this subject in your post, Dolly

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EVER-HOPEFUL 5/15/2013 2:48AM

    for some reason i couldnīt access the link but i am sure it was interesting as all your blogs are emoticon

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ITS_MY_TURN_NOW 5/14/2013 12:22PM

    It was very interesting. I hadn't heard the term "Quantified Self" before. It intrigues me. I like numbers which is probably why I like tracking food, water, exercise etc. I am just learning about bio-hacking, which is similar,I think. Thank you for the blog.

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KALISWALKER 5/13/2013 10:04PM

    What is evoked in you?

an interest in being more investigative about myself

How do you like it?

I liked it very much. You are very knowledgeable about the subject!

Any feedback, suggestion?

I remember how motivated I have been from some of your blogs and this is another great blog!

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My home, my food

Wednesday, April 03, 2013

On Sunday night, I was back from a 4 day visit back at family for Easter.
It was a great time, however, for healthy living...

Family + Holiday = Healthy Lifestyle Challenge

"If you love me, you eat!"
"You look so lean, OMG, are you all right?! You should put on some weight!"
"A good cookie is fatty!"
"Why don't you go by car? It's so far away, it's rainy, you shouldn't walk!"
"It's holiday time, why are you doing exercise? You should rest!"
"Are you sure breakfast was enough? There's cookies on the table, ham in fridge, cookies in the box, banana and oranges in the basket!"
"You really want to log your food? For what? Are you crazy? You should feel if you are hungry or not!"
"I prepared some cookies, ham, eggs, [long list] for you for the trip back in case you get hungry!"
"You don't eat more... you don't love me?"

No wonder, I put on ~0.5 kg (1lbs) during the 4 days.
I used to gain more, now I'm happy I could resist, and only have 2-300 kcal/meal, or 6-900 kcal in excess per day.

I like to be in family, but healthy living wise, somehow my message doesn't go through. Especially when it's holiday time, it's green light in families for all kinds of crazy over eating. With some emotional blackmailing of "if you love me, you eat a lot of my food" type.
After the 4 days, I was emotionally recharged with the family love, and being surrounded with close people.
And in parallel my healthy lifestyle batteries went down to zero. It's tiring to constantly say no for the flux of food flowing in front of me, to say in myself that I look good and I shouldn't put on weight (on the contrary), to neglect naysayers when I want to do exercise.
I told them countless times. If they love, they should support me in living healthy, and not promoting with words, actions, messages, and the whole environment on getting overweight and lazy.

Now, I'm back at my home.
I go into my kitchen, and all food is packed away in the fridge, and the closet.
I open the fridge, it's full of healthy food.
Snacks are 100 kcal each.
There's filtered water.
When going for a long walk, there's nobody nagging around me, even if it's rainy.
My running shoes are on display.
My computer is only a click away to log my food.
There's no TV, so no TV during meals.

It's already 3 days that I'm back at home, and finally, I'm getting back on track. Because it's not just like I'm back at home, and I turn a button, and everything goes again well. I wish it would, but it takes time.

Easy to meet company in the countryside in Austria....

How you deal with family gatherings healthy living wise?
Any tips, ideas, suggestions?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHOOPETTE 5/14/2013 6:21AM

    Way to go!
Fortunately my family supports me on healthy habits, my coworkers though... and that's who I spend the most time with

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DUSTYPRAIRIE 4/7/2013 5:24AM

    It takes those experiences to keep give us renewed focus, wouldn't you agree? Sometimes I think we all wonder what it would be like if we "went back". Now you know and have chosen wisely!

Since my brother became diabetic my mom doesn't question our diet choices anymore. Oh, she'll tell us what she eats, but she's stopped telling us what to eat and giving us the guilt approach into making us eat.

Have a super week, Oliver!

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GREENGENES 4/5/2013 8:44AM

    I hear you loud and clear. It has taken DW a long time to accept my decisions to live healthier and her family still tries to "help" me get back to a "healthy" weight when we visit. It's funny because she wants me to be a good role model for Junior to make healthy choices but then finds way to undermine my healthy choices. Lot's of conflicting messages. I am encouraged to do some healthy things but other lead to grief - riding my bike to work is the biggest challenge but I am slowly winning that battle.

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NUOVAELLE 4/5/2013 8:13AM

    I just read all the comments below trying to find some useful tips!
I'm sorry I don't have any to offer, either! But I can hear you on this one loud and clear! My family have been giving me this weird look when I only have a small piece of dessert on holiday feasts.
But you did great so you should be proud of yourself! Not only because you gained only half a kilo but also because you found your way back on track so fast afterwards!

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BLOOMINGLENA 4/5/2013 5:55AM

    I can so relate to you! It is the same with me and my typical greek family! Congratulations on your gaining ONLY 1 lb! I have no tips. I am fighting everyday with this family attitude towards me and my trying to lead a healthy lifestyle so I have no advice. They can't change their way of thinking even when I tell them that they should eat more healthy as they have to deal healthy issues themselves. So I need some useful ideas, as well. I am so glad I was of help to you!!! hahaha! emoticon

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KELLIEBEAN 4/4/2013 11:22AM

    I can relate. But things are changing with my mom. She is starting to see how her lifestyle has led to so many of her medical problems. She's now very worried about my sisters who are very overweight.

When you get the "you don't love me if you don't eat" diffuse the situation with humor. Give a HUGE hug snd say "I love you this much!"

Its hard for people who are not health conscious to understand people who are.

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    I am glad you managed to gain only 1lb and that you are back on track now. Good for you!

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KCLARK89 4/3/2013 9:54PM

    I feel the same way! I know I definitely used to be part of it and I would eat whatever and not be SO focused on nutrition and exercise as I am now. Now that I live 1,000 miles away, coming back is a huge ordeal, so it's EAT THIS it's your FAVORITE! I baked this for you! Definitely hard to resist, but if you keep reminding them that you are doing this because it makes YOU feel better, they'll (eventually!) understand :)

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GETSTRONGRRR 4/3/2013 9:14PM

    There's nothing like family to make it seem like good food is the answer to all our problems!

My mother is famous for giving you a look if you don't have seconds on everything she makes..."Didn't you like it?"

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MOBYCARP 4/3/2013 7:43PM


I got shoved into SparkPeople the last time I went home to visit family. I don't know how challenging it will be the next time I go, but I don't expect to have as hard a time as you did.

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ALDEBARANIAN 4/3/2013 4:08PM

    No tips. Just a couple of messages.

Yes, you are a mature, intelligent person, capable of making valid and important choices and decisions for your own life.

It's ok to decide where your barriers are, and to choose where to draw the line between intrusive, inappropriate input, and when to compromise for the sake of family relationships.

Keeping the weight gain under control was a victory.

Isn't it nice to get back to the environment that you've created for yourself, to live the way you choose without taking a lot of flak for it?

Thank you for the blog, and for being a friend.

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MISSLORI5 4/3/2013 3:16PM

    I applaud your self-control! Unfortunately, mine lasts only on the road trip of three days, and then I'm shot! As a result, I put my last ten pounds back on for Christmas vacation, but then, one does get to go home! I have family who knows better, but cares less to make the changes than I do, so I am kinda thankful we don't live too close to one another! Fortunately, my husband knows better and is willing to make the changes when he's around me, but does not always have the willpower to remain on track when he's away, so I consider myself mostly lucky! I hope you are able to get your life back into harness rather easily and maybe, someday, the saying "You can't teach an old dog new tricks" will be de-mythed! emoticon

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LILYBELLE8 4/3/2013 2:13PM

    I love this blog - and especially appreciate your decisions and methods for getting back on track! Thanks!!

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IDICEM 4/3/2013 2:05PM

  It's always difficult to navigate family gatherings when you've made changes that don't fit the traditional family dynamics. Congratulations on navigating the holiday so well! As much as I enjoy visiting family, coming home is often my favorite part.

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FIT4MEIN2013 4/3/2013 1:26PM

    It is time for you to wrap your head around the idea that Love does not equal food! Then you need to teach your family that. My family, rather my husband's had a very difficult time learning the lesson. I just repeated the mantra that I love them, and I was there for the people not for the food.

My eating habits have nothing to do with the people I am with! When I started back to work my hubby started making dinner. The 2nd day he fixed something that he knows better then to fix. "My feelings are going to be hurt if you don't eat some of this'", he said. "Prepare to have your feelings hurt, then" I replied because he KNEW that it was something that I don't eat.

Don't get pulled into the guilt trip. It isn't a fun one and has only negative results.


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