GURLNXTDOOR-04   2,223
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GURLNXTDOOR-04's Recent Blog Entries

BLC 25 Goals

Saturday, May 03, 2014

My goals are simple yet powerful to me.

1. Lose 20 pounds
2. To change how I look and use food and exercise- making it mandatory that health comes first
3. Be consistent and accountable to myself and my team by doing every activity and posting at least once per day.

I could type so much more. I could discuss how I have been gaining weight constantly and losing and dropping the same 20 pounds for months now or how I have never stuck to a lifestyle change, or how consistency is my biggest weakness, but I am done. That was the weak me. That was the me who did not know what she wanted, what her goals or end result was to be. I am no longer that person and I refuse to live in the past. I choose to focus on the now and prepare for the future.



Patience is a Virtue

Sunday, April 20, 2014

There are so many things in life I have been waiting for that haven't came yet.

Love, Success, Weight loss, Me.

I feel like I am forever waiting inside my house peeking out the windows and opening the door wondering if the me I want to be has arrived yet.

I keep thinking "what if"? What if I started my weight loss journey in 2011. What if I told that guy that I liked him? What if I didn't have depression/bipolar and it didn't wreak havoc on my school life?

Then I realized those "what ifs" are exactly what has been keeping me waiting. What if I went outside and found the me I want to be? What if I am patient, knowing that I will lose this weight and achieve my goals?

What if I stop saying "What if" and make a plan of action and do those things!

Being patient knowing things will change is a virtue, being patient waiting for things to come is a crutch!

I know I will lose this weight, even if it's hard to believe fully, what I can say is I know I will workout tomorrow, I know I will drink water instead of juice, and I know that I will stop waiting for change....I'm going to make it!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

2LABS2LOVE 4/29/2014 9:28PM

    emoticon Ohhh...been there! All good things do come to them who WAIT!

I was an "older bride"...married at 30. I had my first child at age 38 and my second at age 43. You have time on your side! emoticon

Waiting stinks though...being single was torture to me.

Can't wait to meet you on the team!


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MARYBETH4884 4/21/2014 7:13AM

    emoticon I 'what If'd" for years and finally 1 day I just started tracking my food, I drank my water, I started to move and it changed my life by 147 lbs!! emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 4/21/2014 7:14:13 AM

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REALLYHOPIN 4/20/2014 9:40PM

    I think the saying goes something like this:

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.
It is about learning to dance in the rain....

dance my Sparkfriend, dance....

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GOGIRL_93 4/20/2014 9:03PM

  This blog really resonated with me. I often find myself the victim of waiting. The only difference is that I can't quite pinpoint what I'm waiting for. This usually happens when I am going through a depressive episode, which happens more than I would like to admit. I have not felt happy for longer than 2 weeks at a time in the past 2 years. But when I break out of those episodes, the waiting disappears. I think my problem is that I don't actually know what makes me happy. Things that I think will make me happy leave feeling empty and unexpected things bring me joy. I think once I truly learn how to live a mentally healthy lifestyle, the waiting will disappear.

Thank you for this entry. It really helped me reflect on my journey thus far and has me excited for what is to come.

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MTN_KITTEN 4/20/2014 6:58PM


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Who has two thumbs and was uber healthy today.....

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

emoticon This Girl!!!! emoticon

Increasing my Freggies to 10 per day constantly has me thinking about what fruits and vegetables I can eat not leaving anytime for unhealthy food....mostly....I'm dreaming of Froyo.


Today I had the healthiest meals I had in a long time!


Oatmeal with Golden raisins and 1 apple


Mango, Banana, Green beans/ peas, Filet of sole, butter beans, and spinach


Quinoa and Avocado salad, Tuna fish sandwich, 1 apple


Trail mix, apple sauce cup, 1 Babybel, 1 fruit leather

Still up there with the calories but by the time BLC25 starts I'll be ready to go!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAPITTARD 4/16/2014 11:17PM

    Great food choices today!! Keep plugging along. You will get there one day at a time. YOU CAN DO IT!

-Amy P
Also I host a fitness and accountability group on Facebook. Itís a private group where we check in, keep each other accountable and encourage one another on our journeys! Because it is private what you post in the group doesnít show up on your regular feed. I would love for you to join us. If you would like you can either message me your email address and I can add you that way (we donít have to be FB friends if I add you by emailÖ.. OR you can find me on Facebook and add me as a friend ( Once you add me as a friend I can add you directly to the group. I hope you join in!!

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REALLYHOPIN 4/16/2014 7:08PM

    I think I have to try that quinoa stuff!!!

it looks amazinggggg...

thanks for sharing

Keep on being good to yourself!

~ Barbara

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UMBILICAL 4/16/2014 5:53PM


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If I can dream it, I can achieve it!

Monday, April 14, 2014

So I did something I have been putting off all week, I took a nap!

It was interrupted by my roommates boyfriend playing guitar but it was a full nap and during this nap I had the greatest dream. I was showing someone I never met a before picture. To my surprise, the before picture was of me now at 240+ pounds smiling with sad eyes and hunched shoulder and then I also showed them my after picture, this time I was smiling harder than ever and I was svelte! Not just thin, but toned wearing gym clothes and looking active!

I am taking this dream as a premonition into my future. I have been going slow. I joined the BLC with my goal to be ready to be in full force eating and working out by then (April 30) so each week I have goals set.

Last week was to get into the habit of exercise (which I completed! and am itching to workout now) , to try to choose healthier options, and to track my food.

I did "meh" on the healthier options, much better than the week before, and I am proud, I've been tracking the good and bad meals and from this I am learning what my goals for next week should be.


10 fruits and veggies per day - Crazy right, that's a lot but I noticed I wasn't eating as many freggies as I thought I was, this is a tough goal but it will keep me full and healthy

No eating after 7pm- I work at 5am and usually I start craving junk right before bed (9pm-10pm) so this helps with that

Drink 6 cups of water per day- I need to ease myself back into my water drinking.

6/7 days completed reward: New water bottle! I need one!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    emoticon emoticon

These sound like great goals! Those freggies, though- that's a lot but an awesome challenge!

Good job!

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MARYBETH4884 4/15/2014 1:25PM

    Great goals!!!! emoticon emoticon

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REALLYHOPIN 4/15/2014 7:26AM

    LOVE having dreams like that...

This time around was the first time I ever had a "skinny" dream. It definitely helps with the motivation and the BELIEF that you CAN succeed.

Keep on being good to yourself!


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Release the Emotional Kracken!!!

Friday, April 11, 2014

That is how I felt yesterday like there was a little person inside of me the yelled at the top of her lungs "Release the Kracken" and it came and took over my body and ate ANYTHING that was in site to help me numb my discomfort.

It started with my walk in the morning. It was healthy and the scenery outside made me thoughtful, a little too thoughtful. See I have bipolar/ depression and since I have been 18, I have been stuck in this Merry-go-round of life, doing the same things, trying to achieve the same goals: lose weight, graduate from college and neither one of them have been accomplished nor is near to being accomplished making me feel disappointed, but I pushed on and was okay.

I ate healthy, packed a healthy lunch and then I got to work and my boss told me that I didn't meet expectations on a project......

emoticon emoticon

The Kracken was unleashed and it tore through crackers with dip, a whole ciabatta baguette with cheese, gummy bears, and a brownie!

I finally got control of it on my car ride home listening and singing to some old school..aka. Backstreet Boys, Journey, Paula no judging on my radio selections it brought me into a better mood to the point I didn't even finish that last half of brownie that was left.

This taught me that I need to control my emotions and deal with them before they turn into this food obsessed monster out to numb the pain.

Woke up and worked out.

No use crying over last nights overindulgence! Keeping it moving...literally emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STEPHNS1 4/15/2014 10:31PM

    Your title totally got me! I know how you feel...I've been in this emotional rut for about 2 years now and it's been especially bad over the last 6-7 months. I've decided to come back to Spark to try to get some motivation and "get up and go" back. I just wanted to let you know that today you have inspired me. I love that you got up this morning and moved on. Keep moving!

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REALLYHOPIN 4/12/2014 8:00PM

    I think you did good getting right back to healthy food. Way to GO!

Yesterday is in the past. It's what you are doing NOW that matters.

I don't know anyone with weight issues that hasn't had a splurge/binge now and then. As long as it doesn't become a routine it works out.

Remember, you are AMAZING.
You CAN ACHIEVE your goals.
Love yourself first and best.

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MARYBETH4884 4/12/2014 6:43PM

    Glad you were able to control he binge monster!! Lovin your music as well!!

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POSITIVEHOPE 4/11/2014 2:58PM

    Good job of turning it around. Use your walks to say in the present and enjoy the moment.

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