Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Sunday was interesting.
So, I was doing the laundry, and folding, and realized I had lost one of my workout socks. Now, this is no ordinary sock. It is one of a pair, clearly identified "L" and "R" (how cool is that?) made with technical wizadry and quite pricey!
I was upset. Now, we know that socks have a tendency to disappear (probably get tired of being stepped on lol). Since I do my laundry at home, husband offered this helpful advice "It's in the house." Thanks. A lot.
The air in the house is pretty dry by this time of the winter so I sent the static cling route. I examined every piece of clothing I had folded, inside and out. No sock. I unfolded a fitted sheet three times. No sock. I looked in the hamper, the washer, and the dryer. No sock.
I put a bunch of steps on my fitbit running up and down the stairs looking for the darn thing, but still...
So, I had to give up the chase, prepare some dinner, etc. I have to say that Sunday recently has been DANGER TIME for me, when I want to binge the most. I got through dinner, and managed the need to binge, and went to sleep. After checking a few more places, unsuccessfully, for the darned sock (that is a term of annoyance, not its condition lol again).
Would you believe, I woke up a few hours later with my stomach growling and the urge to binge as strong as ever. Deciding I was not in my right mind, and that was easy, I just went back to sleep.
Monday morning--urge to binge gone, feeling virtuous, and still no sock. Emptied the dishwasher, made my lunch and snacks, worked out, with another pair of my high tech babies on my feet, a more cooperative pair I might add. Getting ready to shower, I took one more look at husband's t-shirt, looked inside, and out fell the !!!******@@@@@%%%% sock (feel free to use your imagination here).
Leftie has since been reunited with righty and is in my drawer ready to be used in its proper rotation.
What am I trying to say here, I am not sure. Never give up is one thing, I guess. Binging will not help you find your sock (or deal with other issues or anything else for that matter) and should be eschewed as a solution for anything. Perseverence pays off. And maybe Einstein was a little bit wrong when he said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Albert, the static cling wore away a bit overnight and made the sock respond to gravity. Gravity! Static cling electricity charges! Physics! I LOVE this!
Monday, January 23, 2012
Sounds a bit crazy, no?
Okay, here is the story.
March 19, 2012 will be my 18 month maintenance anniversary. That is, I hope it will be considering.....
Since my one year anniversary on September 19, 2011, I have been on a roller coaster, not one of my designing and certainly not to my liking. Binging, while not regular, has served to get my weight up a couple of pounds above goal. Now, my clothes still fit, even those tiny size 4 skirts, and I have put on muscle, but what I am talking about here is behavior, not the scale.
I thought that part of my coping on this maintenance journey would be to get myself a nice present (with thanks that I can afford one). An iPad to continue my tech journey, or maybe a nice hybrid nylon string guitar, not too expensive, but one to use for song accompaniment. With pegs for a strap. Classical nylons don't come with those, you know, they are played sitting down.
I got this far and then said to myself, who am I kidding? I am using lots of good techniques to manage Binging Bonita (ooh, I like that, my evil identical twin :-)) but can I say that I am out of the woods? Nope. Will I binge again, you betcha.
So here is what I am doing.
I have put myself back on a weight loss ticker with the goal of losing 2.2 pounds by March 19 2012 to get me to 111. Less than 111 would be better, but hey, I'll live with the palindrome (just love those palindromes!). No 111, no iPad or guitar.
Even with Binging Bonita coming to visit every once in a while, I think I can do this.
So, follow my ticker, I weigh in on Sundays, and see if Gadget Girl (one of my nicknames) gets her iPad or Guitarwoman buys a sweet new axe.
NOTE: the techniques I have used in this blog, especially my evil twin Binging Bonita, are ones used in Michael White's Narrative Therapy and others. You take the problem, and objectify it by taking it outside yourself and giving it, so to speak, an existence of its own. It becomes easier to understand it, and deal with it.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Here's a thought I had today that I wanted to share and which I will certainly try on myself next time.....
I had a moderate binge yesterday. Reasons I am still not so sure, I am coming off a health scare that seems to be resolving itself positively, not enough sleep, etc., no excuses. I have owned it, tracked it, and moved on.
Here's the technology part. I got myself an iPhone on my first year 's anniversary of maintenance. Of course I have the SP app loaded on it, to use in tracking when I am not near a computer.
I do track my binges, honesty pays I find. But I usually do it the next day (because I tend to binge at night) and sometimes have forgotten something I ate....sigh....
So, here is what I am going to do the next time I binge, and yes, there will be a next time.....
I am going to:
1. get my iPhone
2. turn if on (if it is turned off)
3. open to the SP app
4. track the binge as I consume the food
This way, I will be tracking accurately. And, as a big maybe, I will binge less as I see the calories and fat add up.
I'll let you know what happens!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
I am having some medical problems right now, but this blog isn't directly about them.
It is about priorities and a haircut.
It appears that I may be needing to have some surgery.
So, I started to think about what I need to do.
Check out my will and my living will, hey, you never know.
Pay off my credit card bill.
Get a haircut.....wait a minute, GET A HAIRCUT?
Now, I did need one, and I was planning to go in a couple of weeks, but then it got bumped nearly to the top of the list. I needed that haircut IMMEDIATELY.
So I went for a haircut yeaterday, and told my hairdresser about my problems, and asked her if I was insane by wanting to make sure I had a haircut.
She said Certainly not." Not so much with haircuts, but with hair coloring when roots are showing. I don't color, but boy is it important...
So she has had women in her chair in the beginning stages of labor getting their roots done.
And she has had women who have lost a loved one make sure to get their roots done before the funeral....
So it seems, if women are about to experience hard times, we want to look our best!
Monday, January 09, 2012
Here is an exercise I did yesterday that came from my "getting better bit(e) by bit(e)" book. It was an eye opener, not too hard if you give it some thought (and like to write) and I thought I would share it.
So, you vision five years into the future. You write two (pretend) letters to a friend you are going to see soon after a long absence. You can make up the friend too. You say you wanted to clue your friend in on what to expect when she/he sees you.
The first letter is what your life will be like if you continue binging (or throwing up, or not being fit, or staying a too large a weight, you pick it).
The second letter is what your life will be like if you stop binging (or stop throwing up, or become fit, or get to a better weight, you pick it).
You then read each letter carefully, and ask yourself the simple question: what DO you want to be in five years?
I have to say, I embraced and enjoyed this! My first letter, continuing binging, had me quite the mess, gained all the weight back, multiple health problems, barely able to move so not exercising, etc.
My second letter had me as a rocking 68 year old, white haired and moving to the beat, doing volunteer work and...well, all those goals I have on my SparkPage.
It was pretty easy to answer the question, where do I want to be in five years?
I do want to say this is not for everybody and I think it would have scared me if I tried it when I was first losing weight. I think I will now finally have the courage to tackle a vision collage. I will buy "oak tag" (or "bristol board" as they call it in Canada) and go to my old magazines with scissors and glue stick in hand.
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