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The Story of my Chocolate Bar.....

Thursday, October 20, 2011

This happened on Monday.

So, I was in a big hurry to get out of the house on Monday morning. I had to travel to one of our offices a bit far away, the weather was poor, and, I had changed my lunch bag.

So, in my hurry and confusion, I forget to pack one of my essential snacks, my two chocolate sandwich cookies. I have been eating two chocolate sandwich cookies since I started my health journey in May 2009 and I rely on them for chocolate, sugar, yumminess, and so on.

What to do?

First, as I headed home, I switched the order of my snacks. I like to start with those cookies for sure. As I was heading off to grocery shopping after work, and I always save one snack for the ride home from the store, I thought let me see what I can find. Worst case, I can buy another package of cookies, even thought I did not really need one this week.

You may be saying big deal, but at one point this lack of acceptable snacks would have led to unhealthy eating or maybe even a binge.

So, there I am grocery shopping, and I saw the candy bars. I had been with a few colleagues during the day doing some quality review work, and one had eaten a kit-kat. So I went and picked up a kit-kat. I looked at the calories and it was about 40 calories more than the cookies. I figured I could live with that, and bought it.

And ate it on the way home. And you know what, it was okay but not fantastic. The cookies taste better to me.

This is a lot of detail about a kit-kat, but it means a few things to me:

That I could overcome the "disaster" of failing to pack a well-loved snack.
That I could problem-solve what to do about it without going into a panic and binging.
That I don't like chocolate bars that much any more.

All of this does not mean that I definitely will not go and and as soon as I shut down this computer find something to binge on. But I think I will play a bit of guitar instead. What it does mean is that sometimes, as I go through my journey of health, I can achieve a degree of healthy relationship with food that I never thought possible.

How do you handle forgetting to pack your regular food when you head off for work?


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LE7_1234 10/22/2011 10:33AM


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GAYLLYNNE 10/21/2011 6:33AM

    Good for you. Isn't it great when we get those A-ha moments? I try to keep snacks everywhere that aren't going to cause a binge. Especially in my car!! Best of luck to you!

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BESEVEN 10/20/2011 11:47PM

    Way to go! I would have probably had a melt down.

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WHITEANGEL4 10/20/2011 9:32PM

    This says that your system is adjusting to your new eating habits and things that use to really taste good to you not longer have any control. That is a good thing to learn. If I need a little chocolate, I have one Dove dark chocolate. Some weeks I will have three and then go a couple of weeks without the desire to have chocolate.

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JONICACALDWELL 10/20/2011 9:24PM

    Great job, first off. What I try to do is if you have a file or cabinet bring back up snacks, so say I was suppose to have a big apple but I forgot it, I'll have a granola bar instead. Not the best choice, but similar in calories.

If I have no snacks I try and split my lunch to eat 2x during the day.

I totally understand everything you wrote. I ate 4x today at work. Gotta do it or I'll just eat junk. Probably fried junk. emoticon

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I won a fitness award!

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Would you believe it? I have won the Pedometer Challenge at my place of employment!

I am 63 years old, and with the exception of the past 13 months or so have been overweight (usually obese) my whole darned life.

Our typical demographic here is young, healthy females.

I am involved in the wellness initiative at work, for my own good, to spread the Spark (and the word on health) and as part of a certification program I am the lead hand on.

So we had a pedometer challenge--no big deal, you track your steps for a week. Thanks to my handy fitbit, no problem with that.

I was amused and bemused when I read the e-mail from HR last night that I was the winner. Most steps of all the participants. And I even got to choose my prize (some nice toiletries).

What does all this mean?

I can do it. I have been exercising for years, and certainly continued when I was on WW, but with the help of the fitbit and Sparkpeople I have ramped up my exercise big time. I am on a number of steps for the day team goals and take this seriously.

One is never too old to get fit.

I actually enjoy moving and find it reduces my stress.

The next generation coming up is of some concern to me. I remember, way back in the day when I was at University, my group used to laugh ourselves silly at the "phys ed" girls. Well, we were the idiots, and I wonder if young people are not placing enough emphasis on working out? I thought that this was big for young people?

I cannot beigin to express what this means to me--not the award, but the changes I see as I up the exercise and continue with healthy eating. I've dropped a few pounds as well.

Thank you Sparkpeople, and all the posters and contributors here, this site rocks and keeps me moving!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OOLALA53 10/27/2011 7:59PM

    Again, you are awesome.

I wonder about young people, too. i wonder about all of us that we think we NEED a gym. If it is a real routine already and people get their money's worth, good, but it's a stumbling block for many when a short bodyweight routine at home combined with frequent brisk walking is often doable on a consistent basis and goes a LONG way in fostering functional fitness.

But congrats on kicking the butt of youth! emoticon

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CASJ57 10/5/2011 6:43PM

    emoticon emoticon

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BAKERICLISA 10/5/2011 6:06PM

    emoticon emoticon

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    emoticon emoticon

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IFDEEVARUNS2 10/5/2011 4:55PM

    Way to go! Truly awesome job.

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CWOMACK138 10/5/2011 4:17PM

    That's AWESOME, way to go!!!

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KMCCRIGHT 10/5/2011 1:43PM

    FANTASTIC!!! Congratulations on your award; keep those healthy habits going!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/5/2011 1:44:26 PM

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INITANURSE11 10/5/2011 1:24PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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More vision problems....sigh.....and getting older

Friday, September 30, 2011

Getting older is a journey that can be strong and meaningful.

But, it is also fraught with these darn medical things, and although thank G-d mine have been minor, they do get me down at times.

So about a year ago, I started having these weird flashes in my right eye, and then some effects that I first thought was a mouse running across the floor? No such thing, that was a massive "floater" that had developed in my eye.

A trip to the opthamologist revealed that I had had a "retinal pull," where decreasing fluid in the eyeball (because of that aging thing, darn it!) had tugged at my retina (the flashes) and created some floating matter (the floater). So I have it monitored, and the floater has reduced a bit (maybe I just ignore it better) and it has been stable. There is some risk here of the retina tearing or detaching and needing surgery.

So yesterday and today, darned if the same thing did not happen in the left eye. Should have expected it, I guess, same flashing and today a delightful (not) floater in the eye. Sigh....

I will go to the doctor and have it checked out next week, and I know the danger signs for real problems and what hospital emergecy to go to if they happen. At least we have socialized medicine here so no worry about fees.

But still, it is a downer.....

Thanks for reading, helps to write about it.



  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANT406 9/30/2011 7:54PM

    Hope everything works out for you. You're in my thoughts and prayers. Take care. emoticon

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CASJ57 9/30/2011 6:30PM

    I am right there with you on the eye thing emoticon

At least we can still see!

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Falling off the wagon and getting back on again....gracefully!

Friday, September 23, 2011


Yesterday was a difficult day.

My weight was way down, too far down I realize now, and I was feeling irritable and hungry.

The workday was spent dealing with difficult HR matters, and then there was a difficult volunteer meeting in the evening....I've used the word "difficult" three times to let you know that it was well, just a difficult day.

And then, on the way home difficult became dangerous because some clearly incompetent driver made a dangerous left turn directly in front of me and I am glad there was no one behind me, as I had to put on the brakes so strongly I might have been rear-ended. Goodness.

But, I held my eating together, keeping to the high end of my calorie range because I wanted to gain a bit. Until I got home.

Picture me, wandering around the house in an agitated state, getting my chores done and even playing my guitar for a bit, but still not able to stop those roiling emotions. True I was earning steps, but really....

So I made a conscious decision. I was going to consume two of my favorite binge foods, in controlled amounts, and document them of course, and then get on with it. Own it, track it, move on.

So you can say that I chose to emotionally eat in a controlled and limited way to deal with emotions that were playing havoc with my system. I got some sleep, got up and took some flex time--leisurely completed my morning chores, did some cooking, did a full workout (often I do a short one on Fridays), played the guitar, went on Sparkpeople and documented everything, and here I am at work relaxed and functional and with no desire to binge.

I did gain weight of course, but am still under goal. In fact, I would have had to eat 6000+ calories extra to make a real gain to where I am this morning, and the total extra was more like 800 or so. So some of this is temporary weight and will come off.

It has taken me since May 2009 to get to this point, to use emotional eating in a planful and limited way to get past a bad time. I do not have to use it too often, thank goodness, but it is there.

To all who read this. Do you ever emotionally eat in a controlled way? How do you manage your stress when your typical coping mechanisms fail?



I cooked for myself today....

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Does not sound like much, but....

So my spouse is working tonight, so it is dinner on my own. A few months ago I moved beyond packaged diet meals--too much sodium, not enough volume.

For dinner I eat protein and vegetables. I had some nice leftover chicken, but what to do for the vegetables.

In the past I would open a can of green beans (which I do have in the house) and take those.

But, today, I cooked a fresh cauliflower. Just for dinner for me. And cleaned up the dishes by hand, not enough for the dishwasher.

What does this mean for me? That I am worth having fresh and wholesome food, rather than something out of a can. That I can plan my meals--I am working late tomorrow and will take some more leftover chicken and some leftover cauliflower--no prepackaged diet meal. That I can benefit by putting out the effort for cooking, just for me.

WW uses the abbreviation NSV--non scale victory. This was a NSV for me for sure.

Thank you Sparkpeople and Sparkguy and all the Sparkteam members I am getting to know. Your journeys are pretty remarkable, and inspiring for sure.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CASJ57 9/21/2011 6:37PM

    Alright! That is a major NSV, in my book. Once you get used to home cooking vs. packaged meals, you don't go back.


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SUNRISE14 9/21/2011 6:34PM

    emoticon I have dependend on diet dinners for one meal aday and desperatly want to get away from them i think i am hooked because its easy to figure calories ! Can you help me with my planning do you log your food and if it's public that would give me ideas ! emoticon

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