Thursday, June 30, 2011
" Sometimes the best things we can do for someone are the things we don't have to but choose to because of love!"
Copyright © 2011 Jon Hawks
" We must remember: our character becomes our destiny."
Author Unknown --- Submitted by Teo Garcia --- Florida
" The only real limitations on your ability are the level of your desires. If you want it badly enough, there are no limits on what you can achieve."
" If there is no one to teach you in your life, life itself will teach you."
Written in 2011 by Sunil Kumar K. --- India
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Monday, June 27, 2011
Some days I huddle some days I do not. Usually when I don't its from lack of thought about it rather than lack of ambition to do it.
I belong to some groups and it makes me sad as I am the only one who huddles. Although itís a small act I believe it can have a great impact on us.
It keeps us involved and participating in a team. It helps spread a little sunshine to others and in some cases offers people help when they need it. I usually go down the other huddles to look for people who put down they are having a bad day or need some help.
I like to drop them a line and ask how I can be of service to them, most of the time by that time they have spoken to a few people and are in a better frame of mind and feel better, sometimes not.
Sometimes people just want someone to listen to them, I don't really full understand this concept as I am an Introvert for the most part. Now I could just use the snide "Google it" comment I am fond out but feeling generous this morning I will save you the time
Introverts are more concerned with the inner world of the mind. They enjoy thinking, exploring their thoughts and feelings. They often avoid social situations because being around people drains their energy. This is true even if they have good social skills. After being with people for any length of time, such as at a party, they need time alone to "recharge."
Taken from: giftedkids.about.com/od/glossary/g/i
This more or less describes me; I know some of you might find that a little hard to believe given the frequency that I add my 2cents into just about everything, I guess I am a walking contradiction. I am introverted yet an ego maniac with low self-esteem, borderline narcissist who cares about other people, angel (thatís pushing it) devil. I guess the phrase jack of all trades master of none applies.
I am getting off task here, itís so easy to get talking about my favorite subject (IE: ME) I often say that: service is the price we pay for our room here on earth, who said this originally I am uncertain I just know who I heard it from (via the internet) Muhammad Ali
This struck me instantly because service to our fellow man is indeed what will set us free from our own self-imposed prison.
They say that when elephants are young they chain them with this thick heavy chain that is impossible for the elephant to break. It tries and tries and tries and it cannot get free. Now when the Elephant grows up they simply tie them with a state and piece of rope or string, why? Because the elephant knows from all its years trying it cannot free itself no matter the shackles.
I believe we are the very same, the chains that bind us are of our own design and only we hold the key. Imagine the scene in fight club (Google it)**SPOILER ALERT*
Where Brad Pitt is holding the gun and Edward Norton figures it out and suddenly the gun is in his hand, now basically Brad Pitt is a figment of Nortonís imagination so he realized that the gun in Pitts hand is really in his hand. Confused? good thatís what the movie does *chuckles* but itís a FREAKING AMAZING movie, and I think there is alot of very useful info in that movie if you can sift through, they don't make it easy but the message behind the movie is liberating.
So the chains we cannot see yet hold us down and bind us are very much like the string and the stake that holds the elephant, we have tried so many times to break them and realized we cannot and we don't even try anymore. Although we might not be able to break them on pure physical strength alone, if we only take the time to look we will see that the key to our freedom who is in someone elseíshand, that person who persecutes us, puts us down, holds us down, keeps us from personal freedom, that the key is in fact in our own hands
I'm feeling good about this post today, lots of good stuff. Even if no one else likes it I am pretty happy with myself *chuckles*
So I made you suffer through that long paragraph of confusing movie and animal reference to say this Helping others will help us. Itís very difficult to understand this concept especially when we cannot even help ourselves in the most trivial of task's it seems.
You never know what small gesture you make during the course of your day that you do not consider trivial will make the world of difference in other peopleís lives.
Most people just want to know someone cares and that they will listen to them. thatís it. There are those who want you to solve their problems, and although itís very tempting to indeed attempt such a task we cannot and should not do this. We CAN however share our life experience if it relates to this person and if indeed itís something we have done ourselves and found useful.
itís usually a good idea to wait and be asked for our opinion rather than just blurting it out as they might not want to hear it. I have a best friend who likes to call and complain to me, well not really complaining but likes to talk about things bothering her, which is fine that is what friends are for. She can talk for 45 minutes without much interaction from me and at the finish she doesn't want me to try and solve her problems she just wants me to listen.
Most people are like this, I find this concept very foreign and I do not understand it. Of course as we discovered above I am an Introvert..........Iíll wait for you to scroll back and reacquaint yourself with the description, yes I suppose I could post it again but don't be so darn lazy, if you have made it this far or read my stuff before you should know a certain amount of work is required by you the reader, nothing in life is free ;)
a** ,grass, or gas nobody rides for free!!
Ok I don't really promote drug use as I am clean and sober but I don't have the time to reformulate the phrase into something whimsical and intelligent sounding, besides I do kind of enjoy that bumper sticker.
So to make a long story even longer huddling is a good way to keep in touch with your team, maybe get a little positive energy from other memberís and just do your part to be of service to others. When we stop thinking about ourselves and what WE want and thinking of others first our lives seem to open up in ways we could never have imagined before, that chains that bind us loosen and if we truly devote ourselves to service of our fellow man they will in time break and fall away. Mine are still on but I can almost squeeze my hand out, if only I had a stick of butter. I don't need to try to free myself, my actions will. And your actions will as well
I belong to a 12 step program and one of the tools to our recovery is service, It doesn't matter if you belong to a 12 step program or not the same principles apply.
They say money can't buy happiness, I am 50/50 on this as I struggle with money every day, its my own fault though as I do not budget well, ok I do budget but I don't use it (go figure) and I spend money on things that I could do without but feel that I cannot (IE cellphone, internet, big screen TV, ps3) This is all stuff and, well ok the internet one is a good thing because I can reach out to alot of people and if I did not have internet you would not have the pleasure of reading this long winded self-promoting diatribe (yes I know some of you pray God to strike my internet down, you know who you are and SHAME ON YOU)
So to sum up in a few sentences what I did in a few pages but could have done with these few sentences is this:
(coincidentally the point of that paragraph which i failed to make because i took a left turn when I should have gone right is that we can have all the money and stuff in the world but it won't make us happy, it will make life easier but it won't make life better mentally and spiritually, now i am willing to back up this claim someone give me about 10 million dollars and I'll show you how unhappy i am going to be, I am willing to do this, for you guys)
Use huddling every day, it takes 5 seconds (more if you read what your fellow sparkers say) but this small seemingly insignificant act will change your life. Its the butterfly effect (seriously Google it I am running out of steam)..................ok fine if youíre going to be pushy
"In chaos theory, the butterfly effect is the sensitive dependence on initial conditions; where a small change at one place in a nonlinear system can result in large differences to a later state. For example, the presence or absence of a butterfly flapping its wings could lead to creation or absence of a hurricane."
This small act will ripple across someone elseís life and in turn bring about change in yours, its tiny, so tiny you might not feel it or see it yet, but the spark is there and if you fan the flames by thinking of others and not yourself, before you realize it that spark has become a white hot fire and you will find your life transformed in ways you cannot even imagine
DISCLAIMER: The last few sentences seem to contradict a previous sentence about not telling people what to do unless you have done it yourself. The writer admits that although his fire has not gotten white hot as of yet that the spark has indeed ignited into a decent size campfire, say big enough to roast marshmellows..mmmmmmmmmmmm marsh mellows *drools* Oh who am I kidding I wrote the darn article I will say whatever the hell I want so sue me. Well not really I have nothing unless you want my cat
PS: After thought. Watch the movie: PAY IT FORWARD circa 2000
Haley Joel Osment
Concept: A young boy attempts to make the world a better place after his teacher gives him that chance.
Learn it, live it, love it
**knowledge is power*
Monday, June 27, 2011
"Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life."
--- Omar Khayyam
" Whether one believes in a religion or not, and whether one believes in rebirth or not, there isn't anyone who doesn't appreciate kindness and compassion."
" When you fail do not retreat. You might be just one step behind in the process of success. When you look back, you have only history to reveal, whereas if you proceed you'll have future to unveil."
Written in 2007 by Ratnesh Shukla --- India
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Sunday, June 26, 2011
Its not my words of wisdom this time, I am not really sure any of my words carry wisdom I just like to think they do *chuckles*
Many of you who know me may know I belong to a 12 step program for people with food issues called Overeaters Anonymous, if you didn't now you do.
I have many struggles both physical, emotional and mental. I find great strength in the 12 step rooms. My sponsor sent me an email in response to one I had sent him and some of the things he had to say made alot of sense and I cannot help but feel that his words may help others.
If you do not believe or cannot accept the 12 step fellowship that is fine, we accept anyone wishing to be free of their addictions but we hold no ill will too the ones who cannot or will not walk through the door.
So strip away the talk of the program (if you must)
Strip away the talk of a Higher Power (if you must)
and focus on the words following the verses of the Serenity Prayer. I think they hold some powerful reasoning, perhaps its just me and that's perfectly fine by me, its my life I have to live it and I cannot and will not live your life for you, I do hope nothing but the best for you but you must make your own choices and they are none of my business.
I would suggest gently not to dismiss the Serenity Prayer, it aligns itself with no one religion, although it does start off with the word God, this can mean anything to you that gives you strength and hope and faith. I know alot of Christians will disagree with me on this but I have seen what happens when you force down someones throat the things YOU believe and tell them they will burn in hell if they don't accept it *chuckles* it makes people not willing to go to church or even think about a relationship with God or a higher power.
In this program even atheist have higher powers, my hope is you may find yours whatever it may be.
I find great comfort in this prayer, I am not a religious many. I do not pray on a regular basis but I do say this prayer often, so perhaps I do pray ;) I think prayer can be whatever you want it to be that helps you. I hope the words of this email bring some comfort to those of you who hold guilt and shame and will not forgive yourself for things. Its ok to let it all go, and to those of you who can't my hope is one day you can so that you may move forward
I am sorry you felt poorly on June 9th. Consider this, as much as it sucks to understand this, you are most likely going to physically feel like crap for some time because your body is carrying hundreds of excess pounds on and inside it. I know this does not sound very cheerful or optimistic, but it is the reality of your situation. Our human frames are only designed to carry a certain amount of weight. We rediscover this solid fact in the army frequently when we send young and physically fit soldiers into combat carrying backpacks and gear up to and sometimes exceeding 100 lbs. 100 lbs extra pounds is too much weight for these soldiers to carry for any length of time, and they often injury their ankles, knees, lower backs, shoulders, and necks, with this kind of excess weight. Even 50 to 70 pounds causes these kind of injuries. Last November you told me that you weighed around 490 lbs. Well that is probably 300 more pounds than your body is designed to carry. Additionally, unlike the physically fit soldiers carrying 100 lbs on the outside of their bodies, you are also carrying a lot of that weight on the inside of your body. The internal fat is crushing your internal organs and making it hard for your blood to flow throughout your body. Knowing this explains why you so often feel so poorly on a daily basis. The good news is that you can and will feel better physically as you lose weight. How soon can you start to feel better? I don't know for sure, but I suspect you will be able to notice some improvement after losing only 25 to 50 pounds. As you lose more weight, you will notice more improvement with the way you feel. When you get down to a body weight around 200 lbs, you will be amazed about how much better and stronger you feel. So, for now, I suggest you pray the serenity prayer to help you as you recover.
...God, grant me serenity to accept the things I cannt change...you can cannot change the fact that at this moment you are hundreds of pounds overweight. So instead relieve yourself of the mental suffering of blaming yourself and simply accept that this is presently an unchangeable fact of life.
...the courage to change the things I can...today, pray for help, pray to have the willingness to change at least one thing in you daily life that is a stepping stone leading you to a more healthy body weight.. It can be any one small thing. Just ask your HP to give your the courage and will to do it today. Just this one day. Tomorrow you can pray again, but today focus on today.
...and this wisdom to know the difference...There are some things today that you do not have the ability to change which in time you may have the ability once your will and faith is stronger. For today, ask your HP to help you identify that which you must simply accept today versus that which you can start changing.
In summary, I am so very sorry that you so often feel so poorly. Yet, this is not surprising at all since your are carrying a tremendous physical burden. Accept that this is true for now, but believe that it can and will get better as you work the steps and take the small actions that will result in weight loss for you. You can do this, Greg. Alone you are powerless, but with your HP and with me and other OA members, you are no longer alone. Now you have access to power. Take as much power from us as you can today and use it today to help you along your way.
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