GREG32572   49,155
40,000-49,999 SparkPoints
GREG32572's Recent Blog Entries

Back in action and kicking ass, uh well maybe

Monday, April 04, 2011

After a long time away from sparks I have decided its time to get back to work. Now I have been logging on and getting my spark points and posting an article or 2 here and there as well as posting my words of encouragement in some groups, but as far as really using the site I cannot say that I have.

Looking at my page that 38 pound weight loss kind of stares me back in the face. Its been like that for I have no idea how long now. I guess its good that I initially lost the weight but the weight loss has been so very stagnant since then. I hope to change that.

Well I cannot hope to change it, I have to WORK to change it.

There have been alot of ups and down the last 12 months or so. Some very painful loss's and some personal setbacks that I have let weaken me and drop me to my knees.

Some days I don't care if live or die, not that I am suicidal it just doesn't seem to matter if I wake up or not. Each day seems to be the same they all blend in together. Feeling sh***y and grumpy and in constant pain.

So I feel sorry for myself and wallow in my own self pity. I forget how lucky I am despite my circumstances. There are people out there who would kill to be in my situation despite it being less than ideal. Its hard to overlook the small things we do have and should be grateful for yet we whine and complain and piss it all away because its not "better"

Life is what we make of it, no one is going to help us so we must help ourselves. The only person we can count on is God, now whatever your concept of God is thats your business, I am not here to preach or tell anyone how to pray or what they should believe in.

I don't really give a rats ass what Christians think you can believe in whatever you want. I believe if you live a good life and help your fellow man and do the best that you can to live a just life that when our time comes I don't think we will be kept out of whatever may be waiting.

I also can't help but think the 10 commandments are a great thing. I don't care what you believe or what religion you may or may not follow, they seem like great guidelines to follow and I don't believe you need to subscribe to any particular flavor of religion. I believe you can be spiritual without religion. Find your own path, find what YOU believe in and follow your heart, and if other people don't agree or try to tell you that you are wrong who gives a flying f**k its their opinion only. Maybe they are right and maybe we will go to hell for not drinking their brand of kool aid, but then again what if they are wrong ;) I think as long as you go to God it doesn't matter the path, just find something to believe in.

Now that my religious rant is over *chuckles*

At the end of the day family and friends will let you down no matter how well meaning. We must dig down and find our own personal strength and fight our own fight. We cannot count on other people or even Dr's and the medical community to help us, because at a certain point they can only do so much and they can do no more. Its up to us, now we CAN band together and help each other and give each other the support that sometimes we cannot get from family, friends, or the medical community.

Each of us has a path and a life, its ours to do with what we want how we see fit. We can either sit here and waste the gift of life or we can get up and kick some ass and find a better quality of life where we don't feel like we are worthless and nothing. It doesn't matter what other people think of us, sure we all want to be liked thats just human nature. but once you break free of that need life can be SO much more rewarding when we live for ourselves and not trying to live up to what we THINK we should be because other's tell us.

I say f**k that!! blaze your own path, who cares if no one believes in you, who cares if they all tell you that you will fail. NONE of that matters, all that matters is you and what you have in side of you. It might take some digging but inside each of us is a rock star who is just dying to get out.

My father told me not too long ago I would NEVER lose the 200-300 pounds I need to on my own that gastric bypass is my ONLY answer at a better life. I reject that, and once I got over the sting of yet another person telling me I will fail, I smile. I smile because I know that I have the capability to overcome anything, its just buried under years of self doubt and abuse, I have been beaten down so far that getting back up even to my knees seems impossible.

But it IS possible and only I can do it, and only you can do it for yourself. The only thing we need is some spiritual guidance from whatever we believe to be our higher power, with that we can accomplish anything.

I challenge you to get back on your feet and find the life you are meant to live as I struggle to gain my own footing.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GREG32572 4/4/2011 11:22PM

    BMEARES: Sure I could use an accountability partner. I am not sure how to contact you as you don't have a page I can log onto, so drop me some sparkmail or tell me how to get in touch with you ETC.

Report Inappropriate Comment
GREG32572 4/4/2011 11:21PM

    oh I neglected to mention that aspect of my diatribe, YES its scary as hell. I am terrified
I have reasons, health reasons to be scared I am walking a razors edge and its only a matter of time if i don't smarten up I won't be here. I am gonna talk about that stuff in future rants but yes. change, path blazing, standing alone when the rest of the world calls you crazy and makes fun of you is amazingly difficult to do, which is why most people don't do it, won't do it or even attempt it.

And its not like anyone is more special than anyone else or that the people who do these things posses skills that the rest of us don't, the ONLY thing that separates them from us, is they did it . Its as simple as that, no more no less

My favorite quote sums it up "You don't become brave by not being afraid, you become brave by being afraid yet finding a way to do it anyways"

That might not be word for word but its close enough, that always struck me. I always felt like I needed this or I needed that, I needed courage, or I needed willpower, its all BULLS**T we feed ourselves because we lack courage or we lack self esteem or someone else told us we cannot do it.

Actually this is a great spot for another quote thats fantastic

All your life you are told the things you cannot do.
All your life they will say you're not good enough or strong enough or talented enough;

They will say you're the wrong height or the wrong weight or the wrong type to play this or be this or achieve this.
THEY WILL TELL YOU NO, a thousand times no, until all the no's become meaningless.
All your life they will tell you no, quite firmly and very quickly.


I love that, its all we need to live by and be successful we just need to find the strength to be a bit stronger than the fear.


Report Inappropriate Comment
GOANNA2 4/4/2011 10:26PM

Good that you are now more psoitive about doing this for you.
emoticonJust don't worry about anyone else.
Do what you believe is best for you and as you say blaze your
own path. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BMEARES 4/4/2011 8:59PM

  You are such a strong person, Greg! There is no doubt in my mind that you can lose the weight that you need to lose to be a healthier you! I have my own personal weight loss battle. If you need an accountability partner, let me know. Life throws us curveballs and sometimes it's just hard to get out of the bed when we think about it. BUT I know that the people we have loved and lost would not want us to wallow in our pity. They would want us to put our big girl panties (hehe) and get on with it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KSGROTHE 4/4/2011 8:58PM

    emoticon back! It's good to see that you're pumped up and ready to kick some @ss!

Much of what you said here touched a chord with me because I am in the midst of big career changes. I have to just go out there and blaze my own path, but it can be scary to take risks!

Get back on your feet and find the life you are meant to live! emoticon

- Karen

Report Inappropriate Comment

8 reasons carbs help you lose weight

Thursday, January 27, 2011

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOANNA2 1/27/2011 5:51PM

    Great article. Thank you for sharing. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KSGROTHE 1/27/2011 4:52PM

    emoticon for sharing this! I had missed this article!

- Karen

Report Inappropriate Comment

7 Habits That Make You Fat

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Again good stuff to know, if it applies and is useful take it, if not then leave it

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KT-NICHOLS-13 1/24/2011 1:28PM


Report Inappropriate Comment
DKELLEY35 1/23/2011 8:18PM

    Great article, thanks for sharing it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ARDELIAC 1/23/2011 4:36PM

    Nice stuff, thanks for sharing.

Report Inappropriate Comment

The 15 Worst Health & Diet Myths

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Good stuff to look over if it helps take it, if not leave it

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TWOTIMESS 1/23/2011 4:23PM

Very interesting and sensible. Thank you for the link!

Report Inappropriate Comment

5 Secrets to Making Resolutions Stick

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Nothing ground breaking on innovative but sometimes we need gentle reminders about the stuff we know but don't use.



First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 Last Page