Friday, October 12, 2012
So yesterday I did a major overhaul on my Spark page. I went through and updated my main page, deleted all of my old blogs, and just refreshed everything.
A lot of people probably don't understand why I deleted blogs. Yes, they show me where I have been, etc. but in my case, all my blogs were few and far between. They also were constantly about me starting over, falling off the wagon, and other stuff that really isn't helpful to me.
I have always wanted to workout consistently, go to the gym, eat well and get all my fruits and veggies in while cutting out the junk. I've always wanted to love my body and have self confidence. That's what brought me here. I found those things for about a year. I had self confidence in a bikini that I never thought I could find. I was running 25-30 miles a week, etc.
Then I moved to this base. I got lazy. I got injured. I let the injury determine how I lived my life and I let it become an excuse for why I was gaining weight/fat, not working out, eating like crap. While yes, the pain was pretty bad at times, I could have gone to the gym and done low intensity workouts, but instead I sat home and watched TV.
Fast forward 4 years after my injury and it is still present. While it's effects on my life are much smaller, there is still pain (especially when stressed). But for the past year or two I have still dodged workouts and taking responsibility for my body, my vehicle that gets me through life.
My realization or ah-ha moment came in two parts about a week ago. I was sitting on the couch and looked down and my stomach. The rolls that appeared disgusted me. I am supposed to be "skinny" and "in-shape", these rolls shouldn't be here. I tried to make them go away, I sucked in, I sat up straight but nothing worked.
About two days after the couch incident I was talking to Steven about flexibility, etc. We were looking at our legs and I noticed (not for the first time, but the first time I was disgusted enough to do something) that on the inside of my legs where my knees are stick out MUCH farther than any other part of my legs. Steven's legs don't do this. Actually, I don't know anyone who's do.
That was it. I'm tired of looking in the mirror and turning away embarrassed. Embarrassed to be naked in front of Steven or wear a bikini in public. I know how to make the changes and get the results I want and need. There are no more excuses.
I've come up with a plan of sorts to help me make this new lifestyle stick and become a routine, to become second nature to me. They say that if you do something for 21 days it becomes a habit, so that is my first goal. I plan to workout everyday for 21 days. All the workouts might not be hour long cardio sessions or 45 minute ST sessions. But I have decided that if it isn't 1 of the above and I decide to just walk Bella it will be an extra long walk. No getting off easy.
I've also come up with a fitness minute goal for the rest of October. Including today I have 20 days left in October. While 3 of those days I won't have the option of going to the gym or walking Bella (I do have a DVD I can try) the other 17 are sure to be full of exercise. So my Octobe fitness minute goals is: 765. That calculate out to 45 minutes a day for the 17 days I can for sure get a good workout in.
So there it is. I'll post another blog later going over my revelation over my eating habits and my plan for those as well.